This is a short chapter. It was longer originally, but… I cut it shorter so as to leave you in suspense. HA. You'll see why. But hey, at least they're talking in this chapter. Those crazy kids. Gotta love 'em. Why is Shonda so insistent on keeping them apart? It breaks my Addek-loving heart.

Song: How Far by Martina McBride

Chapter 5
How Far

There's a boat; I could sail away
There's a sky; I could catch a plane
There's the train, there's the tracks
I could leave, and I could choose to not come back
Oh, never come back

"Hey, Debbie, could please page Dr. Shepherd for me?" Addison asked the nurse. "I can't seem to find him anywhere." She suspected that Derek would be raster to answer a page if it came from Debbie rather than Addison.

She had been trying to talk to her husband all day. Well, to be honest, she had been trying to talk to him for many days. But she had woken up with resolve this morning. She was going to get him to sit his stubborn ass down and talk to her by the end of the day if it was the last thing she did. He had avoided her, like she had expected he would, but she hoped she had finally found a way to go over his head and get his attention.

And she was right. Less than five minutes after being paged, Derek got off the elevator and approached the nurses' desk.

"I was paged?"

Debbie looked up at him, and without any expression whatsoever, pointed over to where Addison was sitting.

Derek sighed and walked over to his wife. "You're the one who paged me?"

"We need to talk, Derek. I'm serious. No more of this bullshit about being busy. I saw your schedule, and you're free tonight."

He paused for a moment, and then, "Fine. Meet me back here at 7:00." And with that, he walked away again.

There you are, givin' up the fight
Here I am, begging you to try
Talk to me, let me in
But you just put your wall back up again
Oh, when's it gonna end

- - - - - - - - - -

How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far

Later that night, Derek and Addison were across the street from the hospital at Joe's, seated at a booth towards the back. Both figured that this would be the place that would draw the least amount of attention to them, especially if this conversation turned into a fight. And if the nosey interns were around.

"So, what did you want to talk about? Why you haven't gotten on your broomstick and gone back to New York yet?" Derek asked spitefully.

"Stop being petty, Derek."

"Stop being an adulterous bitch."

Addison looked down at the table, fiddling with her napkin. She knew what she had done was horrible and probably the worst thing that she could have done to her husband, but she didn't need the reminder from him. She was haunted by it every day already.

"You know, there was a time when you thought of me as your best friend, not to mention the love of your life."

"Yeah, well… things change, don't they?" he said bitterly.

His words stung, and a hurt look immediately spread across her face. She tried to hide it, but it was too late; Derek had noticed. He immediately regretted his words. He didn't mean to hurt her like that. The words just slipped out.

"I'm sorry. That was uncalled for." He took a drink of his signature double scotch single malt. "What was so important that you had to talk to me about?"

She sighed. "Derek, what's going on? Where are we? I mean… we have barely even spoken since I got here. I need to know things. I have got to get my life moving again, but I can't because I don't know anything. What's going on with us? Are we going to be adult and handle this or just side-step around it and hope it goes away? Because that's not going to solve anything."

"I don't know that I'm ready to talk to you just yet, Addison."

"Well, to be completely honest, I can't say that I blame you. But we need to. I can't wait until you decide that you're ready"

"Why? What's so urgent that this talk couldn't wait?"

"I had a talk with Richard today. And… he wants me to stay here. He offered me a spot on staff."

"Here? In Seattle? He wants you to stay in Seattle?"

"Yes."

"What did you tell him?"

"I said I had to talk with you first."

"Oh," he said simply.

"Okay, see, this is what I mean. You just shut yourself off. I don't know how you feel about anything," she said, obviously frustrated. "So I've been thinking and thinking of what I should do for days now… and I've only come up with one option."

Addison reached down and picked up her briefcase. Reaching into the side pocket, she pulled out two envelopes and handed them to Derek.

There's a chance I could change my mind
But I won't; not 'til you decide
What you want, what you need
Do you even care if I stay or leave
Oh, what's it gonna be

"What are these?" he asked with the slightest hint of panic in his voice.

"One of them is the contract that Richard offered me. The other… is divorce papers." His eyes immediately shot up at her. She could tell that this was not what he had been expecting, but she continued. "I had our lawyer draw them up… I'm giving you an out. I want to try to make this work. I want that more than anything in the world, but I've been here for two weeks, and I have no clear idea of where we stand. And I've seen the way you look at Meredith. You clearly have feelings for her. But you won't talk to me unless you're practically forced to. I'm strong, Derek, but I can only take so much. I plan on signing one set of papers. It's up to you to decide which ones. So… let me know when you've made a decision. The ball's in your court now."

With that, she took the last swig of her drink and stood up to leave. She grabbed her purse and briefcase, but before she walked away, she turned to him.

"Derek… has it ever crossed your mind that even if I am Satan and an adulterous bitch that I still might be the love of your life? You might want to think about that before you just jump to a decision." And with that, she walked out of the bar.

Derek sat in the booth dumbfounded. That was definitely not how he had anticipated the evening would go. He put his head in his hands, hoping that he would be overcome with some sort of divine inspiration that would tell him what to do. A few minutes later, he noticed that the interns, including Meredith, were staring at him from the bar and probably had been for quite some time. He slipped the two envelopes into his briefcase, took the last drink of his scotch, and left Joe's to go home and think.

How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far

Well… there you go. They talked. Addison laid down the law. Now, which ones is he going to sign? I don't know; we shall see!