Author's notes: Sorry it's taken almost a month to update! I didn't realize the time had gone by so fast! Assur, I hope you had a good holiday! Banka, I'm so glad you liked the last chapter, I worked very hard on it and I'm glad the mood came across like I wanted. Peegchica, the drama continues – more in the chapters to come! MoonyPadfootJr, I was going to update more often but…darn real life. However, I aim to have this whole story posted by August 21because I will be starting my new job on August 22nd (FINALLY got a job!) and I'm worried about how busy I will be.

Special Thanks to Xaverii Jade for the beta, you are a great help to me!

Chapter 8 Trying to Celebrate

It was roughly 3 o'clock in the afternoon on Jack's thirty-second birthday. He was hiding in the secondary archive room, behind the far row of shelving. Liam had woken him up that morning and he hadn't been left alone for a moment since. He'd finally snuck away about an hour ago to find some peace.

"Jack? What on earth are you doing?"

"Nothing." Jack replied honestly. Corbin was staring down at him. Jack supposed the fetal position against the back wall wasn't the most mature posture to be found in, but then again he hadn't thought anyone would actually find him. There was a layer of dust three inches thick on the books around him.

"Oh." Corbin turned to the shelf and actually seemed to be looking for a book. He was muttering something to himself. "Aha." He pulled a slender volume out and held it in his hands before looking back down at Jack. "Liam is looking for you. Are you playing Hide and Seek?"

"No."

"Just hiding then?"

"I just wanted a little space." Jack drew an ancient rune design in the dust in front of him.

"All right." Corbin started to walk away.

"Corbin?"

"Yes?" Corbin turned around at the end of the bookcase.

"Were you looking for me?"

"No. Malfoy insists Moody arrested Dolohov but I know he was in hospital because of the duel with Rosier. Williamson and Dawlish were the ones who did. Dawlish always tells me the story when he's drunk at the holiday party. I came to get the case log to prove I'm right because Williamson and Dawlish are on assignment."(1)

"Oh."

"Did you want me to be looking for you?" Corbin asked, leaning against the end of the shelf, the book held loosely in one hand against his thigh.

"No. Of course not." Jack answered crossly.

"Because if you had wanted me to look for you, I've found you. So, we can talk about why you're hiding. Is it because you always have a spell of being weepy and morose on your birthday? Or you'd planned on spending it with Sirius? Or you always thought you'd be married and have children by this time? Or is there another reason you're back here under a layer of dust?"

"I didn't want you looking for me." Jack snapped, irritated Corbin knew him so well.

"All right." Corbin said calmly. "I'm off then. Malfoy's going to owe me seven galleons. You know," Corbin paused, he appeared to be reading the spines of the books on the shelf in front of him, "if Liam can't find you, he won't be able to take you to the super secret location where all your friends will be waiting because they want to show you how much they love you by spending your birthday with you."

"Oh." Jack said softly. "I'm having a surprise party?"

"Well, you're not supposed to know. Forget I said anything, all right? You ignore what I say anyway." He finished bitterly.

"What?"

"I said you could talk to me about anything," Corbin whirled around to face him. "And you barely say a word to me – to anyone! You could be taking that potion again for all I know."

"I'm not taking that potion! I told you I wouldn't." Jack hissed, scrambling to his feet, enraged that Corbin thought he would lie.

"Then talk to me! You have got to start coping with Sirius's death, otherwise you might as well go down and hurl yourself through that fucking veil and be done with it!"

"That…how could…" Jack fought for words, "You are the meanest person I know, Corbin Hill."

"You don't get out much then." Corbin laid the book down on shelf next to him, "Damn it, I told you I would be here for you and you aren't even here!

"Do you realize you've gotten so quiet Malfoy and I look positively chatty compared to you? You've lost weight, you don't smile – not even when Liam tells his horrible jokes about Moody and his wooden leg. You're like a zombie, Jack. Everyone's worried about you. Liam planned this party because he wants to convince you there's something still worth living for."

"What's that?" Jack asked softly.

"The people who love you. Sirius wasn't the only person to ever love you." Corbin held Jack's gaze for a long moment.

"Merlin's beard, Hill, how fucking long does it take to find an arrest record?" Cassius's voice got closer as he walked towards the back of the room.

"I found it." Corbin answered, turning around, pulling his hand from Jack's grasp. Jack hadn't been aware of taking hold of it. "And I'm right."

"And I'm right." Cassius echoed in a petulant voice as he rounded the corner, punctuating the statement by sticking his tongue out at Corbin. "Oh," the cool voice returned as Cassius quickly smoothed his face back into an impassive mask, "Hello, Bartleby."

"Hello. Apparently you owe Corbin seven galleons."

"Let's see it then."

Corbin got the book from the shelf and opened it, flipping to the arrest record they were looking for. Jack stood behind Corbin, looking over his shoulder at the book.

"Fine, you're right." Cassius conceded grumpily.

"Hand it over." Corbin held out his hand. Cassius dumped some coins from his pocket into Corbin's hand. "For Christ's sake." Corbin reached into Cassius's pocket himself. "Galleons are the gold ones. Galleon, gold. Remember?" He waved a Galleon at Cassius.

"Right." Cassius reached into his pocket, retrieving more coins. Muggle coins were mixed in with the wizarding ones. Jack watched with amusement as Corbin and Cassius bickered while they counted Cassius's money.

"Why are you taking the silver ones?" Cassius asked with confusion.

"Because you only had six galleons, so I need seventeen sickles."

"Why?"

"Because seventeen sickles make a galleon." Corbin recited.

"I've got a galleon. You can give me the sickles." Jack said helpfully.

"He's spending it right away anyway." Cassius told Jack.

"On what?" asked Jack.

"Nothing." Corbin answered quickly.

"Not nothing, you said you're buying Jack mmph." Cassius was silenced by a lip-zip charm.

"What are you buying me?" Jack asked curiously.

"It's a surprise." Corbin said, putting coins back in Cassius's pocket.

"Mmph!" Cassius poked Corbin hard. Corbin undid the charm reluctantly. "Remus says you should come for the party tomorrow."

"No…I really…." Jack shook his head. "I can't."

"Malfoy?" Kingsley's voice echoed into the room. "Are you in there?"

"Yeah!" Cassius answered.

"Rookwood's been sighted. Let's go."

Cassius turned without another word and strode from the room.

"You can't or you won't?" Corbin asked.

"Both." Jack answered. "You really weren't looking for me?"

"No, Liam seemed to have the looking for you under control. Are you going to tell me why you were hiding?"

"I just…I want to be strong."

"And hiding in the secondary archive room is being strong how, exactly?"

"Well, it's not. But if nobody sees me," Jack shrugged.

"I'm not nobody." Corbin said quietly.

"I know."

"Jack," Corbin paused, sliding the book back into its place on the shelf. "It kills me to see you hurting so much, when I can't help."

"You do help." Jack answered, his voice husky with emotion.

"Let me do more then. There has to be more I can do."

Jack shrugged and scuffed his shoe in the dust, wiping out his rune design.

"Let Liam find you, all right? And promise you'll look surprised at the party."

Liam looked around the room with satisfaction. There were sixty three people at the party. He'd managed to nick Jack's address book and invited all his friends. Even people who'd moved out of the country had come for the party. Jack had looked very surprised when he arrived. Liam was happy to see his friend smiling again. It had been a long time.

He looked over at where Jack was talking and laughing with some old school friends. Liam couldn't remember their names, he hadn't known many Gryffindors. Corbin was standing nearby, his hands in his pockets. Jack's hand was, Liam shifted to get a better look, curled around Corbin's forearm as he talked. Liam shook his head. Jack had always been very touchy feeling with his friends, but lately he'd been treating Corbin like…like Liam's daughter Torie treated her beloved teddy bear.

"Are they really together?" Katrina asked quietly. "Because everyone is thrilled they finally realized how right they are for each other."

"No." Liam answered lightly, ignoring the sarcasm in his wife's voice. "They're just good friends."

"Do you realize Jack hasn't dated since Corbin's divorce? Except for…you know."

"I hadn't. You're right though." Liam thought about it. "Jack really loved…you know."

"I know. I'm worried Jack isn't going to recover from losing him. Or worse, he'll throw himself into a relationship with Corbin and you know he isn't the best when it comes to intimacy or relationships." Katrina sniffed disdainfully.

"They're friends." Liam repeated calmly.

Corbin said something to Jack before walking towards Liam and Katrina.

"Enjoying the party?" Liam asked cheerfully.

"Jack's enjoying himself, that's the important thing." Corbin said, glancing over his shoulder.

"Don't push Jack into anything. He's not just some plaything. It hasn't even been three months since-" Katrina stopped as Corbin stared at her.

"We're friends. That is all." Corbin said curtly. "Thank you for the lovely evening. Liam, I'll see you tomorrow at work."

"Sure. Thanks for coming." Liam said quickly as Jack walked up.

"Ready?" Jack asked, wrapping his arm around Corbin's waist. Liam knew his friend well enough to tell Jack was on the line between tipsy and drunk. Liam glanced to his left and noticed Katrina had pursed her lips disapprovingly. Corbin nodded.

"Thank you." Jack hugged Liam tightly and then hugged Katrina.

"You're welcome, Jack." Katrina said warmly. "If you need anything, you know where to find us. The only thing we want is to see you happy again."

"Did you have fun?" Corbin brushed off the floo powder from his shirt. He was relieved to be away from the large boisterous party and Katrina Tessen's sharp tongue.

"Yes." Jack walked into the living room and through to the hall that led to his bedroom. Corbin followed at a distance watching Jack weave his way through the small flat. "It was wonderful to see everyone. I didn't realize I had so many friends."

"They care a lot about you." Corbin said lightly, watching Jack sit and struggle to take his boots off, "Do you want some water?"

"Yes, please." Jack fell back on to his bed, both boots still on. "Corbin?"

"Yes?" Corbin paused at the doorway.

"Thank you for my present. And…for being my friend."

"You're welcome." Corbin said. He'd bought Jack a star chart that changed to always show the correct star positions from wherever the observer was. The evening on the beach, pointing out Sirius, had given him the idea.

"Last year, I hadn't seen Sirius since school. It's weird, isn't it? That within one year, so much changed."

Corbin nodded, leaning against the door frame.

"I'm glad, you know…I'm glad I got to spend time with him even if it was only a short time. I just…I'm so angry he got taken away from me.

"And…it's different now. It feels like…" Jack frowned at the ceiling. "Everything seems…broken."

"Broken how?" Corbin asked, after a long moment of silence.

"Like I'm…missing pieces because of Voldemort and his fucking Death Eaters! They killed Sirius. They killed my parents! I had to identify their bodies… Moody came to tell me they were dead. They…it was horrible. I cried after…it was the only time I cried for them."

"I didn't know that."

"Why would you?" Jack sat up, his voice angry. "I never told anyone."

"Maybe you need to mourn them. Before you can mourn Sirius."

"They've been dead for years. I've been mourning them."

"I don't think you have, not really. You've been keeping yourself busy, focusing on other things, and now another person you loved has died you have to think about losing your parents and it's too much for you. You need to allow yourself to just be, don't worry about being strong or weak."

Jack stared thoughtfully at Corbin. "You're really wonderful, you know that?"

"You say that to everyone after you've had a few," Corbin answered lightly. Jack kept looking at him.

"Corbin. I need you," Jack said intently. "To untie my shoes."

Corbin laughed, it sounded bitter to his own ears, and crossed over. Jack held his foot up and Corbin quickly unlaced and took off both boots.

"Now, get into your pajamas. I'm going to get you a glass of water." He didn't wait for Jack's answer before going back to the kitchen. When he returned, Jack was standing in front of his dresser in his pajama pants. His hand was caressing a picture frame. Corbin couldn't see the picture but he knew it was of Sirius and Jack.

"The room is spinning." He said, turning to look at Corbin, shifting to hold the picture against his bare chest.

"I got some sobering potion from the bathroom." Corbin held it up before handing it to Jack. Jack swallowed the potion obediently. "Now get into bed."

"Corbin."

"What?"

"Could you sleep on the couch? Just…I." Jack waved his hands vaguely.

"Sure." Corbin said quickly.

Jack flung his arms around Corbin. "I love you."

"Yeah." Corbin choked out, patting Jack's back awkwardly. He could feel the picture frame pressing against his spine. "Happy Birthday, Jack." Jack clung to him for a long moment before Corbin gently disentangled himself. "All right, into bed with you."

Corbin laid down on the couch, shifting to get comfortable. Corbin, I need you. Jack's words had seared down his spine and he hadn't been able to breathe, only to hear Jack needed his help taking his boots off.

When Jack had started dating Sirius, Corbin had limited the time they spent together. Watching Jack with his boyfriend had been too painful for Corbin after finally confronting his own feelings. And now...it was even more painful, which Corbin hadn't believed possible, and Corbin couldn't pull away - even if he wanted to - Jack needed him.

Corbin couldn't leave Jack to deal with this alone. Not even when every touch ripped his breath away. Corbin shifted, trying to ignore his erection. Jack needed him, even if it wasn't the way Corbin would like.

Suddenly he imagined Jack's strong arms pinning him down, his body pressing against him as his tongue entered and 'Stop it!' he commanded himself. Corbin took a deep breath. He would be Jack's friend, that was all - he wouldn't think about anything more, it was never going to happen. He could be Jack's friend, he'd done it before, pushing aside his own feelings to help Cassius after Owen died. He'd do it again.

(1) Moody lost thechunkfromhis nose in the duel with Rosier, according to JK Rowling in Goblet of Fire. I made the rest of it up, but all the auror names and Death Eater names are real.

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