Her Big Mouth, His Big Feet

By Sailor Fantasy

Disclaimer: Don't Own, Don't Sue, Don't Bother.

Summary: In which Sora ponders about life, discovers he is blitzball challenged, and receives several concussions for it.

Pairings (at the moment): Riku+Sora, hints of Tidus+Everyone, Kairi+Sora Warnings: Thoughtful Sora, Jealous Riku, Obviously Confused Tidus.

Not So Fun Author's Notes: Though I was hoping for more of a response and was disappointed to the lack of one, I am grateful to those of you who did review. 140 hits and so few reviews….Well, I really don't know what to say to that. But thank you for reading the story thus far. I can't promise more chapters soon with so little inspiration…but well, here's Chapter 2. Reviewer Response at the end. And join my YaoiBishies group; link in profile.

Chapter 2: Such a Girly Thing to Do

It truly was a beautiful day for a blitzball tournament, if Sora didn't mention so himself. Which he did on many, many occasions to Riku, Tidus, and Wakka. Which resulted in Sora being pulverized by many, many blitzballs. Hence why he was suffering from many, many concussions on Destiny Island's beach shore.

Sora sighed. What a beautiful, boring day. He should've been out exploring—or doing something less boring than laying on the shore and tanning. Sora shuddered. Tanning. That was such a girly thing to do.

At least Riku had promised him a blitzball game at 12, after he had finished 'The Plan'.

What exactly was 'The Plan', Sora had no clue. Nor did he want to find out, after last week's surprising and eerie events. Sora felt a warm blush creep onto his cheeks as he thought about it. Riku had been so acting so weird as of late. Sora kept catching Riku staring at him at the oddest times, like while he was laughing or sweating stretched out on the beach after a long day of working out and training. It was so…peculiar.

But the weirdest thing was the way Riku had been acting that day that Sora dubbed 'The Most Embarrassing Day of Sora's Life Day'. Riku had been so serious…and Sora hadn't known how to react. So he had run off, just like a coward.

Sora scowled and punched the sand with the back of his fist. Sometimes he wished he could be more like Riku. Riku was courageous, bold, smooth with the ladies (and the guys, now that Sora thought about it), and everything else Sora was not. It was probably why Riku always beat him at everything—fighting, racing…hell, Sora wouldn't have been surprised if Riku even beat him in the 'assets' department.

Sora's blushed deepened. The asset's department. Where everything seemed to spring from—all the odd subtle hints from Riku.

Well, actually, now that Sora thought about it, Riku had been giving him subtle hints ever since they were kids. Subtle hints about what, Sora didn't know. A deeper friendship? An indestructible bond? A secret that could possibly break their unbreakable companionship? Did he really want to know? Sora could only guess. Only Riku really knew the answer.

Oh well. At least whatever it was hadn't stopped Riku from buying Sora a birthday present two days ago. A cool little silver crown on a silver chain—Sora had promised to never take it off his neck. It matched the crown chain Riku had given Sora for Christmas; the one he always had hanging out of his pocket. Both gave Sora a warm feeling, the thought that Riku had even thought of giving him any type of present. Of course, Sora shouldn't have been surprised. Riku—along with Kairi—had been giving him birthday and Christmas presents for years now. Riku, out of friendship. Kairi, out of what was possibly pity. But Riku had never given him something so expensive looking, or something that looked like it had been given a lot of thought. Usually he got a blitzball or a sword or some sport-related gift from Riku. This year was turning out to be extremely odd for their friendship.

Sora wondered if Riku was trying to tell him something through the gifts. He quickly brushed the thought off. If Riku had something to say to him, Riku would have told him. He was just bold like that.

Other than Riku's rather flamboyant gift, Sora had gotten some new gel from Kairi, which resulted in his hair to split into spikes. And no matter how much he tried to wet it, it stayed the same. Kairi blamed it on his unmanageable hair. Sora blamed it on her new gel. But the blaming game got them no where, since Sora's hair stayed exactly the same. Now he looked dumber than ever with his now spiked hair, and everyone stared at him wherever he went.

Stupid gel. Stupid Kairi.

Reason number 7 as to why Sora hated girls: They could never be wrong, not even for a moment.

But that was least important right now.

Sora was 15 years old, finally. Sora smiled, but it quickly crashed right back into a scowl. 15 years old, and still looked like he was 12.

Sora punched the sand again. And not only looked 12, acted 12 as well. Sora really had some growing up to do, and if he didn't do it fast, everyone would always treat him like he was an immature brat. Which he wasn't.

Because the only immature brats around were those stupid girls, which included stupid Kairi and her stupid gel. So there.

Sora sighed, and looked at the Mickey Mouse watch his mother had given to him for his birthday. And what he saw made his heart skip a beat and jump to his feet.

He was late.

"Oh shit! Riku's gonna kill me!"

"He's late," Riku calmly observed, looking at his own Disney watch. It had a silver puppy framed around the clock, and had been given to him as birthday gift from Sora. It was only because it was from Sora that he kept something so cute and girly on. "I'm gonna kill him."

"You did tell him 12, ya?" asked Wakka, juggling four blitzballs from hand to hand. How he did it so casually without looking or even concentrating baffled Riku. He was just about to advise Wakka that he should consider joining the circus when Tidus interrupted his train of thought.

"So what's up with Sora's hair lately, Riku? It's a bit…shocking, don't ya think?" Tidus asked curiously, cracking a smile.

"It looks like he was struck by lightning, ya?" Wakka joked, and all three boys broke into laughter. Even Riku had to admit, though Sora looked absolutely adorable, the hairstyle was horrendous. What had possessed Sora to do it, Riku could not tell. Maybe it had been that gel Kairi had given him.

It was amazing that Wakka was still juggling those four blitzballs, even while laughing. Riku was going to offer to manage his act of juggling blitzballs when he noticed a red blur sprinting towards the three boys.

He'd notice that red blur anywhere. That was his red blur.

"Ah, there he is!" Riku cried out, and the other two stopped laughing to stare at the speeding red blur known as Sora. Smirking, and asking Wakka for a blitzball, Riku took aim with it. From the corner of his eye, Riku could see Wakka and Tidus soon doing the same. With a war cry that would've done a girl on a shopping spree proud, he targeted Sora and threw the blitzball with all his might towards the unsuspecting boy. Tidus' and Wakka's blitzballs soon followed his. Wakka's blitzballs, which had more strength, and Tidus' blitzball, that had been closer, reached Sora first. The three blitzballs from the two looked like it would've struck, but Riku knew better.

Sora had been expecting this.

Sora easily dodged the three blitzballs aimed at him, but failed to fully dodge Riku's, which hit him straight in the gut. With an exaggerated groan, Sora fell back onto his back. The force had knocked the wind out of him, and Riku was pretty sure Sora was going to have a bruise. He almost felt guilty.

Stupid blitzballs. Why did they have to be so hard, anyway?

"Hey, Sora! You okay?" Riku jumped down the rocks to be sure his best friend was all right. When he got there, Sora was pushing himself up, and looked quite winded, but otherwise okay. Riku ruffled his spiky hair in affection, while Sora just shook him off in annoyance. Riku gave his patented overconfident smirk. "I told you not to be late."

"I know, I know, but it wasn't my fault!" cried Sora. "You see, there was this big, huge tidal wave and—!"

"Yeah, yeah." Riku rolled his eyes. "Just like when Frosty the Snowman kept stealing your money, when a certain someone was just using his money to buy chocolate lube from the vending machine." Riku stopped, and narrowed his eyes at Sora. "What were you using that for, anyway?"

Sora blushed and looked down at his lap. "It was the Easter Bunny. And besides, it tasted good on pancakes," he muttered.

Riku raised an eyebrow and decided not comment. It turned out he didn't have to, since Tidus leaped from behind him and onto Sora, forcing them to tumble down that the very small hill. Riku tried to squash down some of the jealousy that arose to what seemed to be a friendly pounce, but some of it still managed to rise into his head and cloud some of his more buoyant judgment.

Just what did Sora use that chocolate lube for, anyway?

"Sora! You loser," laughed Tidus, tickling Sora mercilessly. Sora was laughing with tears running down his cheeks while trying to overturn Tidus. "Riku told you not to be late."

"Hahahaha—I know, I know! Hahaha—S-s-stop, can't breathe—hahaha…"

Riku was frowning, but hesitated as he took a step towards them. Tidus kind of looked like Sora—albeit, just a little more blonde and mature. But otherwise, they looked like identical twin brothers…they were both so cute. And Tidus was out of the closet—everyone on the island knew that Tidus was bisexual, and had gone out with both Wakka and Selphie. At the same time. Riku almost blushed at the thought—just what were they thinking, Riku wasn't sure he wanted to know. And seeing Tidus with Sora…maybe he should've taken Tidus up on his proposition. Maybe he shouldn't take his chances with Sora. Sora was obviously ambivalent, and he didn't even show if he was interested in something more than a friendship. Tidus at least was interested, and besides…he looked so much like Sora. It almost made Riku's heart melt.

Almost.

Tidus may look like Sora, but he sure wasn't Sora. Sora had Riku's heart, not Tidus.

"Hey guys, I thought we were going to play blitzball," Riku protested, sneering down at the both of them. Tidus and Sora stopped playing around, both looking correspondingly innocently guilty. Riku's lip quirked, almost going into a deeper frown.

Sora was the first to stumble up, then Tidus. "Of course we are!" Sora cheered, and it somehow lifted the jealousy off Riku's chest. Sora turned to Tidus, eyes glowing with happiness. "Right, Ti?"

"Right," agreed Tidus, who was flushed and seemed to be confused as to whether he should be looking at Sora or Riku. He glanced at Sora, then Riku, then back at Sora again.

"Ya, Riku's right." Wakka tumbled down lankily the rocks. Riku had forgotten that he was even there. "We should get this party on the road. The girls are waitin' on us."

"Girls?" Sora demanded. "What girls!" He whipped on both Tidus and Riku, glaring. "You said nothing about girls!"

"I don't even know what he's talking about," Riku said, lifting his hands in peace. "I didn't invite them." He looked pointedly at Tidus, who was looking very guilty.

"I may have mentioned something to Selphie about it," Tidus admitted, a light pink tinting his cheeks. "But I swear that's it."

"There are only two of them," Wakka acknowledged. "Only Selphie and Kairi, ya."

"Kairi!" Sora squeaked. "What is she doing here!"

Ever since what Riku dubbed 'My Asset's are So Much Bigger than Sora's Day', Kairi had been following and nagging Sora much more than usual. Much more than usual. Rather than hanging out with her sill girlfriends, Kairi made it her life's duty to follow Sora around, know what Sora is doing and with who. Riku only knew this because he was with Sora 90 of the time, (the other 10 he spent sleeping and working on 'The Plan') and normally he had to ward Kairi off with the threat that he'd tell her Aunt Melinda. Her Aunt Melinda really wasn't her aunt, but she had adopted Kairi when she had landed on the island. Aunt Melinda hated Sora and his family, and often told Kairi not to hang out with 'poor trash' like Sora. On the other hand, Aunt Melinda adored Riku and had asked him to marry her 'darling' Kairi. He had flat out refused, saying that he was interested in someone else on the island. Even after that, she kept insisting that he come to dinner. If she didn't stop persisting, he'd soon have to tell Aunt Melinda that he was gay, and rather disliked her darling Kairi.

Riku suspected that Kairi actually liked Sora, but it relieved Riku that Sora hated girls.

Everything about them made Sora's skin crawl. It was probably because of the childhood trauma Sora's mother, Kairi, and Selphie had put on him, dressing him in gowns and such in replacement for a daughter or sister they never had. It had made Sora so disgusted and distrustful with girls that he could barely stand in a room with one.

Sora would never give Kairi the time of day.

"Sora" Kairi sung, waving from the rocks. Sora was blushing, staring up at her. "Hi! I hope you win!"

Never. Why would Sora ever want to be with Kairi? She was nothing but a big ball of fluff.

"Are you crazy Kairi? Its my Tidus who's going to win!" Selphie hollered, winking at Tidus. "Right, Ti?"

Tidus grinned up at her and nodded. "Yup!" he agreed.

"Well, Sora, you'll win for me, right?" asked Kairi shyly—slyly—blushing lightly.

Never. Sora would never go for a person like Kairi.

Sora blushed an even brighter red. "Umm…sure."

Riku's eyes widened.

Would he?

End Chapter 2

Chapter 3: In which Kairi makes a decent cheerleader, just not a decent stalker.

More Fun Author's Notes: Hope you guys enjoyed this. It actually didn't take very long for me to update this, ya? Haha, I really like making fun with Wakka's 'ya'. It's very addicting, no? I really hope you guys review; although I'm very glad people are actually looking into this ficlet, not enough people are reviewing, and I'd hate to be uninspired about a story. BTW, my group YaoiBishies is up and running, so if you want to take a good look at it, get sneak peaks at fics (mine and others), artwork and such, and know when I update, well, there you go. Now Reviewers' Responses (because they really deserve it). Please don't ask where the plushies came from: my mind is a sick one.

Xjadedx8: You ARE the first. Congratulations! You are rewarded with a Riku silver plushie! This chapter came pretty fast, especially with my thought process as it is . Thank you for reviewing! Korei47: Ah, a YaoiBishies member! (glomps) You get a Riku golden plushie! I had thought all of my members abandoned me after going such a long time without updates! Oh, you won't have to wait long after this for some asset action (wink wink nudge nudge). Thanks for reviewing! Flakes-of-snow: Thank you so much! I never thought of myself as a humor genre writer…but looking back at most of my fics, ya, I guess I'm one, lol. Asset action not too far, I promise you. For reviewing, you get a Riku bronze plushie! Thank you for reviewing! Leirbag Rex: (glomp) My all-time fave muse! I'm so glad you reviewed. You get the Riku platinum plushie! Woohoo! Darkness-heart Abbie: Really? I'm so glad it did. For your review, you get the Wakka bronze plushie! Thank you for reviewing! The Ethereal Butterfly: Such a mysterious name. Yeah, it is a pretty well-known legend, isn't it? Lol, thanks for reviewing, and for reviewing you get a Tidus bronze plushie!

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