Before I comment on anything having to do with this story, I have to talk about Kate's wedding pictures in OK! Magazine. So if you don't care about that, skip this paragraph. She looked sooo gorgeous and happy in all her pictures. I love the picture of her step-dad walking her down the aisle and of her showing off her wedding band. And her and Alex dancing. Adorable. And I love that one of her bridesmaids was her friend Jana Huntsinger that she mentioned when she was on Jimmy Kimmel the first time. I think that's all. :-) I'm glad she's so happy.

Okay, so… I know you guys really want Addison and Derek to talk. Well, so do I. And they were supposed to be talking in this chapter. But other things got in the way. I may be the author, but I can't control everything.

I can promise you, though, that I am going to make them both sit their stubborn asses down in the next chapter and start getting everything all out on the table, whether they like it or not. :-)

Um… what else? I got my new laptop early! So I have forgiven Dell. And the spider outside my window is still there. Shouldn't it be dead by now?

Song: "Help!" by The Beatles.

Read, review, be merry.

Chapter 9
Help!

Help! I need somebody
Help! Not just anybody
Help! You know I need someone
Help!

When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody's help in any way
But now those days are gone; I'm not so self-assured
Now I find I've changed my mind
I've opened up the doors

Derek's father had stayed in town for a few days after their talk at the restaurant. On his last night in Seattle, he had taken Derek and Addison out to a nice, yet slightly awkward, dinner at Anthony's down by the water.

As he was saying goodbye to Derek at the airport the next morning, he casually mentioned that under no uncertain terms would Derek and Addison be allowed to miss Christmas at the Shepherd house this year. He then hugged his son goodbye, said he would see him in a few months, and quickly made his way through security before Derek could argue.

It was now a few days after Patrick had left, and Derek was still no closer to dealing with his problems with Addison than before. It was immature and childish, but he didn't want to forgive Addison. At least not yet. Hopefully someday, but today was not that day.

And to make matters worse, he still hadn't talked to Meredith yet. He was sure she had figured it out from the fact that Addison was no under a contract at Seattle Grace. Perhaps that's why he had been putting it off. Still, the right thing to do would be to tell her face-to-face. He had heard from at least three different people that she was looking for him, probably wanting to talk, but he didn't want to have that conversation today. He'd lost a patient on the table that morning, which had put him in a bad mood, and all he really wanted to do was to be left alone. And maybe take a nap.

- - - - - - - - - -

In contrast to Derek's day so far, Addison's had been going fairly well. She had been able to revive one of the preemies in the NICU who had stopped breathing earlier, and the rest of the babies were all doing well. Plus, she had Izzie Stevens assigned to her service today, and that typically put her in a good mood. Stevens was showing a lot of talent for Addison's specialty, and she was thorough and efficient with her work. She wanted to have a talk with Miranda about working with the intern on a more regular basis. That is, if Izzie showed interest in learning neonatal and OB-GYN. She made a mental note to talk to the intern about that later.

The only problem she had with Izzie was that she seemed to be intensely loyal to Meredith. While Addison did not have a problem with her being faithful to her friend (she actually kind of admired her for it), she was afraid that the intense loyalty would be a hindrance to the young doctor's future if she was unable to put those feelings aside.

Later that day, Addison's worries proved to be true when Karev, in a moment of stupidity, had not done a thorough check-up on a new admit, and she had coded. It took a major effort by many doctors and nurses, but the woman was stable once again. Addison had made an off-hand comment to Izzie about Karev's actions being rather irresponsible, only to receive a cold shoulder and a roll of the eyes as a response. Addison knew that Izzie did, in fact, agree with her (she had heard Izzie yelling at Alex soon after the incident when she thought Addison was out of earshot) but refused to acknowledge it for fear of her friends thinking she was siding with Satan. Addison just sighed and then sent her to pick up some labs.

It was almost half an hour afterwards, and Izzie still wasn't back with the labs that Addison had requested.

This is getting ridiculous! Where has that girl gone? Addison set out to find her. After searching for a while, she made her way down to the abandoned hallway where she knew the interns like to hang out when they had a free moment. She could hear two voices talking, and she immediately recognized them as Izzie and Meredith. She was about to interrupt when she heard Meredith mention her name.

"So, how's it going with Addison? Good mood? Bad mood? 'Yay, my husband picked me' mood? I need something, Iz. I can't get Derek to talk to me for more than two minutes. So…?"

"Meredith… things are going fine with her. And I'm not going to lie to you – I like working with her. And if I didn't feel like I was betraying you, I would probably enjoy it a lot more. You have got to give up this jealousy thing."

"What jealousy thing? We don't know that Derek chose to stay with her. I mean, he hasn't said anything to me about it, so as far as we know, he's still thinking everything over."

"Hello?! She signed a contract here. Why else would she have done that?"

"Lots of reasons."

"Don't be naïve, Mer."

"Well, has she said anything to you about it?"

"I don't talk about anything personal with her, so I don't have any idea what's going on with her and McDreamy. And honestly, I don't care."

"So… you like her? Even though she stole my boyfriend?"

"Listen to yourself! He's her husband! Just… cool it for a while, okay? She's a nice person…"

"If you say so," Meredith sighed.

"Hey, listen… if it makes you feel any better, I take issue with her salmon-colored scrubs."

"That helps a little."

"Okay, good. I gotta go. She's probably wondering where I am. See you at home," Izzie said.

Addison took off before either one of them could see that she had been there. At least now her suspicions were confirmed. She was going to have to have a little talk with Izzie later. And hopefully, Meredith would do as Izzie asked and stay away from her husband.

- - - - - - - - - -

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate your being 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me

"Hello, Dr. Shepherd," Meredith greeted Derek.

"Dr. Grey," he responded, not bothering to look up from the chart he was reviewing.

"I was wondering… if you have a minute… maybe we could talk?"

"I, uh,... sure, I suppose. I have a few minutes before my next patient." Derek closed the chart and walked down the hall toward the empty conference room, Meredith trailing closely behind him. He opened the door for her and then closed it behind them.

"So, um... how are you?" Meredith asked lamely.

"I'm okay."

"That's good…"

"Look, Meredith, I know why you want to talk, and I'm sorry that I didn't have this conversation with you before… but I'm sure you know by now that Addison is staying in Seattle."

"Yeah, I gathered that."

"Good."

"So… where do you and I stand, then?"

Derek stared at her, looking for any indication that she was kidding. She wasn't. Oh, boy…

"She's my wife, Meredith," he said, not really answering her question.

"Yeah, I recall her mentioning something about that. But what does that mean for you and me? Are you staying with her? Or what? Because you've managed to keep me out of the loop here so far."

"Yes, I am staying with her. We're trying to make this work. And you're right – I should have told you sooner. And I'm sorry about that. But whatever you and I had… it can't go on."

"So, you picked her. Didn't want to go through a messy divorce? Thought you'd take the easy way out of this thing?"

"The easy way?!" he exclaimed. "There is no easy anything here, Meredith. I'm just doing the best I can right now, and I'm sorry if that doesn't work for you."

"Well then, answer this: Is she what makes you happy? Because you sure as hell don't look happy to me."

Derek sighed, thinking of how to respond. "Things are really complicated right now. And a little understanding from you would be nice."

"You know what, Derek? It doesn't even seem like you even like Addison most days, let alone love her. I'm not the only one who sees this, you know. She knows you're not happy, too."

"My relationship with Addison is difficult right now. That's all you need to know. And I don't know for sure if I'll ever truly be happy with her again… but there's no way that I can just give up what we've had over the past fifteen years without even trying to fix what's been broken."

Derek paused, letting his words sink in.

"Fine, Derek. I just hope you realize that this thing with Addison is going to crash and burn eventually, and when it does--"

"This conversation is over, Dr. Grey."

- - - - - - - - - -

Addison and Izzie were checking on their patients once again later that afternoon. Mothers and babies all seemed to be doing fairly well for the time being, and Izzie was about to leave the NICU when Addison spoke.

"So, have you made a decision yet, Dr. Stevens?"

"Excuse me?"

"About whether or not you're going to hate me."

Izzie immediately looked away from the older doctor, clearly embarrassed.

"What makes you think I hate you?" she asked, not at all convincing.

"You're Meredith's friend, and I'm the wicked witch who came in and stole… what is it you guys call him?"

"Uh… McDreamy…"

"Right," she cringed. "I hope that embarrasses him."

"I think it does."

"Yeah, well… I guess by all rights you should hate me. Except that, as you know, I'm going to be sticking around for a while. And from what I've seen so far, you show a real gift for my specialty. And I have a lot to teach if you want to learn."

Izzie nodded, not quite sure how to respond.

"So, when you decide how important it is for you to hate me… let me know. I'd hate to see all your talent go to waste."

- - - - - - - - - -

And now my life has changed in oh-so-many ways
My independence seems to vanish in the haze
But every now and then, I feel so insecure
I know that I just need you like I've never done before

After her talk with Izzie, Addison decided a short break was called for. She was exhausted, and it was only 4:30, which meant she had another two and a half hours before she could go home and rest. She found an empty chair next to the nurses' station and collapsed into it, giving her feet a much-needed rest. She closed her eyes briefly until her cell phone started ringing from her pocket.

She pulled it out and looked at the caller ID. Get a clue, she thought. She hadn't taken his calls in weeks. Was he really that dense?

She flipped open the phone and put it up to her ear.

"What?"

"It's about damn time you answered, Addison! You quit your job, packed your stuff, and moved to Seattle, all without saying a word to me! I had to find out from Nancy where you'd gone and only because she let it slip. And you've been ignoring my calls for weeks."

"Did you ever think that maybe there was a reason for that, Mark?" she asked angrily.

"Don't beat around the bush. I want to know why you left."

"I love my husband, Mark. That's why I left."

"But he doesn't love you, Addison. I love you."

"No, you don't. You love the idea of me. And of beating Derek. If you had really loved me, you wouldn't have slept with that nurse when we were together."

There was silence on the other end of the phone.

"You didn't know I knew about that, did you?"

"Listen, Addie--"

"No. You do not get to call me that, nor do you get to justify yourself. We're through, Mark. I love Derek, and we're trying it put our marriage back together. Stay out of it, stop calling, and just leave me alone."

She snapped the phone shut and leaned her head back against the wall behind her. A few seconds later, she heard a couple of voices coming from around the corner.

The first voice belonged to Meredith. "He is just so infuriating! He doesn't love her! Why is he staying with her?"

"I'm assuming the talk didn't go well?" Cristina asked.

"He dumped me. Said he's trying to 'fix what's been broken.'"

"Seriously?"

"Yep. She's staying, and they're trying."

"But he didn't say he loved her?"

"No. He said their relationship was 'difficult' right now and that he can't say for sure that he will ever really be happy being with her… but nothing more than that."

"Well, that's something, right?"

"I guess. I mean, it's obvious to everyone that he doesn't enjoy being around her. What I don't get is why she is staying with someone who clearly doesn't want her around."

Addison had heard enough. She tossed the chart she was holding onto the counter of the nurses' station and headed toward the door that led to the back of the hospital. Once outside, she leaned against the wall and let herself sink down to the ground, pulling her legs up to her chest and leaning her head on her knees.

How was it that she had managed to overhear all of Meredith Grey's conversations about her today? The gossip mill at Seattle Grace was so much worse than any other hospital she had ever worked at. It was bad enough to be insecure about your relationship with your husband, but to have to hear everyone, including his mistress, talk about it and analyze it in their own judgmental way made it so much worse.

Of course, Addison couldn't be entirely sure that Derek's words hadn't been taken out of context or that Meredith had only heard what she wanted to hear. She hoped that was the case. She hated to think that Derek could never be happy with her again and that he had actually told that to his mistress.

Addison sat alone for a while, trying to fight back tears of frustration and exhaustion, though a few managed to sneak out. She looked up as she heard footsteps approaching and quickly wiped the stray tears from her cheeks. Can't a woman get a moment of peace around this place? Who the hell is out here?

As the person got closer, Addison realized that it was Izzie Stevens. The intern hadn't noticed her attending sitting alone out there until she was a few feet away.

"Oh, uh… Dr. Shepherd… I didn't see you there. I'll just go…"

"It's fine, Stevens. Have a seat." She motioned to the ground next to her.

"I like to come out here sometimes… just to clear my head and think about things," Izzie blurted out as she sat down beside Addison. "I didn't know anybody else ever came here."

"I usually don't. But it seemed as good a place as any to get away."

The two women sat together in silence as the moments passed, neither knowing what to say to the other.

Izzie finally broke the silence. "I don't hate you."

"Okay."

More silence.

"I really think I'd enjoy working with you… that is, if you still want to teach me."

"Glad to hear it, Stevens," Addison replied with a smile.

"And for what it's worth, I really do think that you and Dr. Shepherd are going to work through this. I know this is completely unprofessional of me and that I don't know either of you that well… but you make so much more sense than he and Meredith ever did. Just hang in there." Izzie gave Addison's arm a quick squeeze.

"Thank you, Dr. Stevens," Addison said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Izzie," she corrected her.

"Okay. Then… it's Addison."

"Okay."

They sat there a little while longer, neither of them wanting to go back inside the hospital quite yet. Addison hoped and prayed that Izzie was right about her and Derek. She didn't know what she was going to do if they couldn't work things out, and honestly, she didn't even want to think about it.

Help me if you can; I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate your being 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me
Help me
Help me

So. I think I need to clarify that I actually don't hate Meredith. From the way I've been writing her, it may seem that way. But really, I don't. That's just the way she is in this story.

And Addison and Izzie are kind of friends now. Which is good. Addison needs a friend.

They will talk in the next chapter. I promise.

Review, please.