Her Big Mouth, His Big Feet

By Sailor Fantasy

Disclaimer: Yes. I really do own KH. My name is Peter Pan, and you can mail me at Under the Tree Stump, North Star, Neverland, 00001.

Summary: In which Kairi makes a decent cheerleader, but not a decent girlfriend.

Pairings (at the moment): Sora+Riku, Riku+Sora, one-sided Kairi+Sora

Fun Author's Notes: Wow! Thanks for all the reviews guys! I really do appreciate it—I hope to receive tons more. When we last left Sora and the gang, they were about to play a blitzball game. This chapter is for all you RikuxSora fans, and you'll find out why in the chapter. (wink wink nudge nudge). BTW, see the warning? It does not mean I hate Kairi. I dislike her, sure, but don't hate her. (bows) Thank you, and enjoy.

Warnings: Some Kairi bashing, Yaoi (slash)

Chapter 3: Those Damn Bubbles

Dodge. Toss. Roll. Catch.

"Woohoo! Go Tidus go!" Selphie cheered from the sidelines, pompoms in hand.

Dodge. Toss. Roll. Catch.

"Yeah, Sora! Move that butt!" called out Kairi, bustling and hustling her pompoms and causing a major blush on Sora' cheeks. He sincerely hoped Kairi wouldn't cause him to lose his concentration, like she usually did. But…did she just tell him to move his butt? What was that supposed to mean? Maybe he had heard wrong. Wasn't he supposed to be moving his arms and legs?

What was he doing again? Oh yeah.

Rinse. Lather. Repeat.

"OW!"

"You should've been moving that butt a bit more, eh, Sora?" shouted Riku, a mischievous look on his face.

Damn it! Kairi had made him lose concentration, and even Riku was teasing him about moving his butt. What exactly were they talking about, anyway? Was there something on his butt that was causing them to pay attention to it? He turned his waist around, just to see if anything was there. He was rewarded with getting hit in the back of his head by a blitzball.

After that for some reason, everything went black, and when everything came to again, everyone was above him. Boy, did his head hurt. He had the oddest feeling that he had missed something.

Was that blood coming out of Tidus's nose? Ewlll.

"Man, Tidus you sure hit him pretty hard with that blitzball, ya?"

Tidus grunted, sending a slight glare in Riku's direction. "Yeah, I got that understood."

"Sora, are you all right?" Riku asked, and the concern in his voice made Sora's bones tingle and his stomach flip flop. The feeling worried Sora; this entire tingle-flip-flop thing could be a real serious medical condition!

"Ummm…" For some reason, Sora couldn't see or think straight. Someone's hand was on his thigh. Kind of really, really high on his thigh. And he felt really, really hot because of it. He swallowed. "Can the hand currently occupying my thigh please remove itself immediately?"

There was a slight shuffle, everyone moved a bit, and Riku came back into view with a light pink tinge on his cheeks. "Uh, heh heh, sorry bout that Sora."

"Are you?" asked Kairi suspiciously, her pompoms framing her face. She was scowling at Riku. "I mean, why was it on my Sora's thigh in the first place?

"Would you calm down?" Riku snarled, and Sora saw his eyes flash dangerously. Not a good sign. At all. "And who said he was 'your' Sora, anyway?

Sora didn't really want to hear to an argument. It was the last thing he wanted to endure. He was already suffering from what was probably a concussion, a huge headache, a fever, and what seemed to be a stomach virus (why else would his stomach go topsy turvy on him?), and an argument ignited by Kairi and carried on by Riku would only make him feel just oh so much worse…

Sora blinked in confusion. He had heard something about 'your Sora'. What were they arguing about again?

"What do you mean?" Kairi demanded, her scowl turning into a glare. Sora had to admit, the look didn't make her any more attractive. In fact, with her cheeks puffing up the way they were and her lips thinning, she looked a bit like…a koala? Was that the animal he was searching for? No, Koalas were much too hairy, and a lot cuter to boot. "To anyone else it's obvious that Sora's my boyfriend!"

That stopped Sora's line of thought completely.

Boyfriend?

"Your boyfriend?" Riku sneered, and his face was turning red in anger. Definitely not a good sign. "Since when? I don't remember hearing anything about Sora being anyone's boyfriend!" He turned his face to Sora, who was still lying quite dazedly on the sandy ground. "You're not her boyfriend, right?" The question seemed to be said in some sort of desperation. Sora ignored any thoughts that erupted from any possible underlying emotion that may have been in Riku's voice in favor of one train of thought.

Her boyfriend?

"It's not something that had to be said, idiot," said Kairi, snidely in her squeaky voice. "It's rather clear, how Sora and I just connect all the time. And we're always hanging out…"

Her boyfriend? As in, Kairi's boyfriend? As in, red-haired bratty snobbish cheerleading girl Kairi's boyfriend?

"Hanging out doesn't count if you're stalking him, stupid!" snapped Riku.

Oh hell no!

Reasons numbers 8, 9, and 10, respectively, as to why Sora hated girls: If you were nice to them, they automatically thought that you liked them and were flirting with them. And as soon as they thought that, they became all possessive. And number 10 was simple—as far as Sora was concerned, most cheerleaders were girls (or really flamboyant gay guys that Sora considered girls anyway), and all cheerleaders had extremely annoying squeaky voices that hurt your ears and caused you to go deaf later on in life. Stupid sirens, all of them. Stand to close to a cheerleader and you were lining yourself up for some ear drum damage.

Well, at least that's what Sora kept telling himself. Back to the matter at hand, however…

"Kairi!" cracked Sora, causing both to stop yelling and flushing. "Stop that! I don't ever remember agreeing to be your boyfriend!"

Sora watched in slow motion as Kairi opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of water—fish, was that what she looked like when she was upset?—as she blushed more out of embarrassment than anger now. Finally, her lips closed tight and her bottom lip began to quiver. Sora felt the panic in his stomach before his mind even registered what was about to happen. He should have predicted this. Her eyes were already filling up with tears. Oh no, not the waterworks. Anything but the waterworks.

Reason number 11 as to why Sora hated girls: They got so damn emotional and uggggggghhhhhh why did Kairi have to launch herself onto him? Now his shirt was going to be all wet and Sora really hoped she wouldn't blow her nose on him. That would be downright disgusting and then some. And besides, it was his third favorite shirt! He had gotten it from Riku the year before as a 'just because' gift.

"Oh Sora!" she wailed. "Why do you have to be such a loyal friend!"

Sora was even more befuddled than before. What the hell was she talking about now?

"We don't need to hide our relationship from anybody! Our love is strong enough for any criticism that may arise—!"

Say what?

"What are you talking about, Kairi?" Sora demanded. "You're not making any sense! Criticism from whom?"

Kairi pushed herself away and off of him to narrow her eyes and point dramatically in Riku's and Tidus' directions. "From them! The fags!"

Sora felt his stomach drop at each word that came out of Kairi's mouth. He didn't like the word 'fag', and he definitely didn't like that it was referring to both his best friends. He scowled at Kairi, and felt a great dislike coil in his stomach. Usually, any insults would bounce off of Sora, but this went too far. It was about his friends! He couldn't allow that.

"Kairi!" Sora snapped angrily, and Kairi froze. No one had ever really seen Sora so angry looking. "Just what is your problem, calling people names like that? Just because they're different—you should be really ashamed of yourself, you stupid snobby know-it-all overemotional assuming possessive cheerleading hussy!"

Hussy. Sora's ears turned red. Where had he heard that before?

Kairi's cheeks were by this time extremely red. Her lips were thinner than ever now, and her eyes were overfilled with water and were beginning to turn pink. Sora stepped back, and was suddenly very regretful of his outburst. Sure, Kairi had it coming but now he was beginning to feel bad, seeing her turn that not-so-attractive burgundy color with matching eyes to boot.

Sora watched in horror as Kairi's mouth slowly opened, and streamed out the loudest wail Sora had ever heard. Tears poured out of her eyes like mini waterfalls as she quickly turned around and began running down the path nearby. Selphie looked as if she wanted to chase after her, but truth was that she loved Tidus like a brother, and she and Kairi simply weren't as close. And, Selphie reasoned, if Kairi had the gall to spill those words out by herself, she could go and comfort herself by herself.

Sora, however, wasn't so cruel.

"Are you guys okay?" Sora asked Riku and Tidus, and after some quick nods, Sora followed after Kairi. No matter how much he hated what Kairi had said, she was still his friend. And when a friend needed comforting, Sora had promised he'd always be there. No matter who was wrong, and no matter what. He'd always be there.

Behind him, Sora heard familiar light footsteps and while running turned slightly to see Riku not too far behind him. Sora slowed down. He could recognize Riku's noiseless steps from anywhere—Riku was really good at sneaking around. "Hey Riku. Something up?"

Riku caught up easily and jogged neatly in place with Sora. He was looking at Sora with appreciation, and something else Sora couldn't identify. His eyes were somewhat glazed over, and he was giving Sora that look that guys usually gave their girlfriends before they snogged the living daylights out of each other in those stupid soap operas his mom watched. Sora shuddered. If there was anything Sora hated more than girls, it was their stupid soap operas. Soap operas were girly, disgustingly overdone, and extremely predictable!

Reason number 12 as to why Sora hated girls: It was because of girls that trash like soap operas came on television. And even worse, soap operas usually led girls into crying, which made Sora wonder why they even bothered to watch it. Why would you watch something that made you cry? It made absolutely no sense to Sora. Girls crying made Reason number 13 as to why Sora hated girls. A girl crying is worse than telling Sora that there is no Santa. And telling Sora that there is no Santa was pretty horrible.

"Sora," Riku began, looking rather uneasy. "Thanks for sticking up for me back there. I don't know what I would've said or done to Kairi if you hadn't stepped in…"

That warm feeling was returning back to Sora's stomach, and Sora couldn't help but think some light romantic theme song was playing somewhere in the background. Kind of like those girly anime where the girl or boy confronts the love of their life to express their feelings, except that there were no platoons of bubbles floating around. As Riku watched him with half-lidded eyes, Sora's stomach began to flip-flop again.

What did all of this mean? Sora had absolutely no clue. Maybe it was his body telling him that he spent too much quality time with his mother and being stalked by Kairi.

"Oh don't worry about it. She had it coming," Sora easily flipped. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, since he had nothing else better to do with them. He also slowed down to a speed walk. "She shouldn't have said things like that."

"Yeah." Riku stuffed his hands in his pockets, too. "About that…"

Sora waved the entire comment off. "Riku, you don't have to explain anything to me! We're best friends, and whether you like girls or guys or turtles—it doesn't matter to me." Sora gave Riku a heart melting smile. "Just as long as we're together, nothing else really matters."

It was after Sora said this that he became lost in his surroundings since suddenly, Riku's hands were no longer in his pockets and were now roundabout tightly around Sora's waist. Sora felt a rogue blush rush to his cheeks as Riku's heartbeat accelerated, and it took him only a moment to realize that some of the rapid beats belonged to him. Riku was hot, Sora felt hot, and he needed to cool down immediately before he did something drastic like—

Riku leaned down and kissed Sora's forehead. Sora felt faint and wobbly legged. That was a new one, he thought distractedly. Wobbly legged, right? His stomach was walking the tightrope, or was the tightrope, and it felt all stringy and extremely warm. Sora had a feeling that not even the doctor could fix whatever was wrong with him. Maybe all these feelings were all in his head—maybe what he needed right now was a nice psychologist. Or a psychiatrist.

Or maybe what he needed right now was Riku. And his forehead kisses.

"That's all I want too, Sora," Riku whispered into his ear. Sora melted into warm Sora goo. Please say that again, Sora mentally pleaded. "I only want to be with you…as long as I'm with you, nothing else matters."

And that was when Sora swore he saw the bubbles.

End Chapter 3

Chapter 4: In which Sora gets in touch with his mother's intuition.

More Fun Author's Notes: I hope you guys enjoyed! Don't forget to review. And feel free to join my group YaoiBishies, link in my profile. It is a great group dedicated to couples such as RikuxSora, YukixShuichi and others! It also has previews of my fics, plenty of KH pics, and fanart coming soon! I'm also looking for a BETA. Anyone interested? Now Reviewers' Responses (because they really deserve it), and I hope you review some more. It's really inspiring!

-insert amusing name here-: Gold Riku plushie for you! And I know…silly legend. I had my own experiments done, and it's not exactly true. LMAO! So true about Kairi. Thanks for the review!

The Ethereal Butterfly: catches cookie and gobbles Thank you soooo much! I love your reviews. Bronze Riku plushie.

Darkness-heart abbie: Thank you for reviewing! And you're very welcome…SilverSora plushie for you!

Bob the builder: Die? haha…I'm glad you're a true fan! Bronze Sora plushie for you

Yurikitsune: Thank you! Silver Wakka plushie for you!

HyperRme: LOL, I agreeI really don't believe Kairi and Sora belong together. Silver Tidus plushie for you!

St. Mayhew: I was hoping that this was rather original. Thank you for reviewingBronze Tidus Plushie for you!

XxXChainsXxX: Wow, I'm really glad that you think so! Thank you for reviewingSilver Riku plushie for you!

Flakes-of-Snow: Thank you soooo much! I'm you love you plushie…here's another one for reviewing once more! Gold Sora plushie for you!

Angel: Really? That's so flattering! Gold Wakka plushie for you!

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