EPILOGUE
It had been a long time since I was in the rehab clinic. I was sitting at our end of the year assembly during school.
The principle was speaking.
My life had changed a lot this school year. Rory and I were still together…
We hadn't had much happen since November.
Teachers still looked at me strangely in the halls and I was sure that they knew about my stint in the clinic. I thought that it was worth it though. I would never betray the Havens. Whenever I brought up the issue of my dreams Rory would skirt around it to another topic.
I loved him so much.
People were starting to chant the count down until school ended.
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
But did he really love me?
1
The bell rang loudly and a resounding cheer rose up from the sea of students.
I got my books together and pulled my bag over my shoulder. Everyone was talking to each other and pushing, talking about summer plans. I wished I had some definite ones.
I walked out the door of my classroom and looked around wondering where Rory was, he usually met me here. But then I was grabbed from behind. I let out a giggle and turned to face Rory. I beamed to him. His glorious divine face was the light to my day. He picked me up and kissed me on the lips, I blushed because people were starting to stare. Some whistled from our small crowd.
Rory put me back down and we walked out to the parking lot. He had driven his car today and it was being admired. We walked to it together, he had been driving me now and refused to let me ride the bus anymore.
We drove home and I dropped off my stuff. I told my mom that we were going for a walk.
We walked down to the park next to the forest where the stream was. That was where we had been when I first realized that he didn't have a heartbeat.
When we got there I sat on a swing and he stood in front of me. He bent down and kissed my forehead.
"I love you" he said.
"Do you really?" I muttered under my breath. Then I looked up to him wide eyed, I hadn't meant that to come out, out loud.
"What?! Of course I do." He said appalled. "Where did you even get that idea?" he asked. Maybe now was as good a time as any.
"Well," I started. I was about to tell him the number one thing that had been gnawing at me since that fateful day in November. "Will you change me?" I asked, this would be my deciding factor.
"no." he said easily.
"Why?"
"Because."
"Because what?" I said raising my voice.
"Because I don't want to." He said.
"You don't want to be with me forever?" I asked seriously hurt.
"No, that wasn't what I meant. I don't want you to have to have this life, really Cassie it sucks." He said trying to relieve some of the tension by making it humorous.
"Well, it is what I want and I don't care, so what is your answer?"
"no." he retorted.
"See you don't really love me!" I nearly shouted.
"I do!" he said.
"Then I don't get it!" I yelled to him "if you love me why won't you change me? Do you even really know what love is?" he was about to talk but I wasn't going to have that. " Love is when you want to be with someone forever. Love is when you feel like nothing with out the other. Love is when you would die for the other person. Rory, I would die for you."
"I'm sorry but I'm not going to change you he said resolutely, but I do love you."
"No… you don't"
"What even got you started on this?" he asked. This was what I was ashamed of.
"When Kirsten was controlling you, you asked me if I loved you, and I said yes, you asked me if I trusted you, and I said yes, then you asked me if I wanted to be with you forever, and I said yes. And then you said that you wanted to change me."
"But you said no then." He said.
"But that was because I knew it wasn't you!"
"Cassie, I love you." He said to me. "And that is why I don't want to change you. I mean if I changed you wouldn't be able to have kids, or get old, or eat normal food. You would be deprived of everything else you love." He told me.
"It would be worth it." I said resolutely.
"No it wouldn't."
"How would you know." I said standing up off the swing and causing him to take a step back.
"Because I wish I was still human." He said.
"If you really loved me you would want to be with me forever and your love would make you forget about all of that other stuff." I said quietly. "Too bad you don't" I said taking a step back.
"Cassie?" he said confused.
"I would rather start getting over this failed relationship now, I' mean, I now it's going to take a long time. I might not ever get over it." I said taking another step back. "So I think since this isn't going anywhere we should just stop." I said my voice cracking and the tears starting. "Just so you know though, I will always love you." I said taking another step back. "Goodbye" I said turning around.
I started to walk away but heard his plea.
"Please don't" he said, and I broke into a sprint back home. I knew that if he wanted he could catch me, but he didn't.