Okay, I want to make one thing clear -- Addison and Meredith are not friends. I don't like them as friends, and realistically, they never could be friends. Meredith is just realizing what she has been doing is wrong, and she is trying to fix it. Because even if you hate her, she really is a good person deep down. So that's that.

And I have to say that I love Shonda for bringing Grey's into our lives, but sometimes she really pisses me off. Case in point: "Derek loves Meredith more than anything, and I can't imagine Derek going anyplace else other than Meredith." To this I say, "Think outside the box, Shonda!" Whhhhy can't she see how fabulous Addek is?

What else? Oh, yes. For those of you who don't know who Dwight Schrute is... two words: The Office. It's hilarious. Embrace it. Love it.

You reviewers make me so excited to write this story. I promise I am trying to get it out for you as fast as I can.

Song: "So Small" by Carrie Underwood.

Chapter 12
So Small

It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big at the time
It's like a river that's so wide, it swallows you whole
While you're sitting around thinking about what you can't change
And worrying about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count 'cause you can't get it back

"Addison Shepherd is asleep on your couch," Cristina stated obviously as she barged into Meredith's kitchen.

"Yep."

"Uh… why?"

"Izzie and I didn't think she should be alone right now," Meredith told her, hopping up to sit on the counter.

"Since when do you care about the She-Shepherd?"

"Since today, I guess."

"Okay… why isn't her hubby taking care of her?"

"Long story."

Cristina grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. "So you two are… friends?"

"No. Not at all. We just… have an understanding. She and Izzie are friends."

Cristina slammed the refrigerator door shut and looked around the kitchen. "Where is Izzie? Shouldn't she be in here baking or something? I thought that's what she does when someone is sad."

"She's out. Looking for Derek."

- - - - - - - - - -

Izzie had been looking for Derek Shepherd for an hour. And so far, she had been unsuccessful. It didn't help that she barely knew the man and had no idea where he was most likely to go. She had searched the hospital and had gone to Joe's and a couple restaurants and cafes near the hospital.

"Argh! Where is he?" She pulled out her cell phone and called home.

"Hello?" Meredith answered.

"I need some idea of where else to look. I can't find him, and I've already checked all the places we thought of."

"Um… well, I doubt that he went home. Too easy for someone to find him there. Check down by the piers, though. He has a thing for ferryboats, so maybe he's down there somewhere."

"Okay, I'll head down there. How's Addison?"

"Snoring like a train. Those were some good drugs you gave her. Cristina's here babysitting with me now."

"Don't let her wake Addison up, no matter how loud she snores. She needs to sleep."

"I'll do what I can, but you know as well as I do that no one can tell Cristina anything."

"True. Okay, well… I'll call you later and let you know what I find."

She hung up and began walking the few blocks from the hospital down to the boardwalk by the piers. That man better be down here, she thought to herself. Or when I actually do find him, I'll kill him before he has a chance to redeem himself.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Why is Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd sleeping on our couch?" George asked Meredith as he walked into the kitchen to join her and Cristina.

"Long story," Cristina said, repeating what Meredith had told her earlier.

"Izzie didn't want her to be alone. She had a pretty rough day," Meredith explained.

"Okay… but it's weird. How long is she going to be here?"

"Until Izzie can find McDouchey and talk some sense into him."

"Wait, what? Since when is he 'McDouchey?'"

"Since today."

"Why? What happened?"

"He kind of abandoned Addison when she really needed him," Meredith told him briefly.

George was confused. "How does that end up with her on our couch?"

"She needed help. We couldn't just leave her there alone."

"So you're not…?"

"No. That's over. Oooover. They belong together. I just hope it isn't too late for him to realize that."

- - - - - - - - - -

"You bastard. Do you know how long I've been looking for you?"

Izzie had walked so far down the boardwalk that she felt like her feet were going to fall off. She had stopped to look at every dark-haired man she had seen and had received more than a few strange looks. But she finally found the right man sitting on a bench and staring aimlessly at the water.

"What do you want?"

"I want to talk to you about what you did. How could you just walk out like that?"

"You don't know what you're talking about. Just stay out of it."

"That's where you're wrong. I've been the one taking care of your wife because you walked out on her. Again."

"Do you have any idea what she did to me?"

"Yeah, actually, I do. I was with her all afternoon, trying to fix what you broke. I know more than I ever wanted to know. About your marriage, the affair, the abortion. I bet I even know some things you don't."

"Like what?"

"Oh, like the fact that she quit her job in New York before she ever came out here. Before you ever considered giving her a second chance. She had that much faith in you. In your marriage." Izzie paused as she took in the confused, shocked look on Derek's face. "You didn't know that, did you?"

"N-no…" he stuttered. "I had no idea."

"Well, she was quite chatty in the car on the way to my house." Izzie sat down on the bench next to him.

"Wait… your house. As in, Meredith's house, too?"

"Relax. She's fine. Well, no, she's not. Which is why I'm here."

Derek sighed in frustration. "What do you want from me?"

"I want you to listen to me, and I don't want you to talk because you're a man, and you'll just say something stupid. So just listen. Do you think you can do that?"

"You do realize that I am technically your boss, right? And that I can have either a very positive or very negative effect on your career?"

"Yes, I do. But right now, I am more worried about Addison. So just listen to me. Okay?"

"Okay."

"What did I just say? Listen! Okay?" she emphasized the last word.

Derek was silent.

"Thank you. Now…

- - - - - - - - - -

"How long do you think she's going to sleep?" George whispered.

He, Meredith, and Cristina had moved into the living room where Addison was asleep on the couch and were now watching her sleeping form. She had been passed out there for almost four hours and hadn't stirred once.

"Have you ever heard anyone snore that loud before? I bet she has sleep apnea," Cristina decided.

Meredith ignored Cristina and said, "How weird is this? My ex-boyfriend's wife is in my house. Sleeping on my couch. Drooling on my pillow."

"It's weird."

The three of them turned at the sound of the front door opening. Alex walked in and stopped in the entryway when he saw them watching him from the living room.

"Uh, what are we doing?"

"Watching the She-Shepherd sleep," Cristina said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Alex looked from them to the couch and back again. "Care to explain a little further?"

"This is Meredith's good deed for the day. Taking care of the Mrs. while her wayward husband is off pouting somewhere."

"You are aware how weird this is, right?"

"Yep," Meredith said.

"Are you trying to make up for sleeping with her husband?"

"Something like that, I guess…"

- - - - - - - - - -

"I don't know if you realize this, and I'm guessing that you don't by the idiotic way you reacted earlier, but when you took off like a bat out of hell today, it made Addison remember when you left her before," Izzie told Derek. "She's so afraid you're going to leave her again and never come back. It took me hours to convince her to leave the hospital and come home with me, and I had to give her something to help her calm down and go to sleep. Do you realize how hard it was to try to convince her that everything would be okay when I don't even believe it myself?"

Derek refused to make eye contact with her. He was keeping his word about not saying anything, but it was getting harder and harder not to interrupt.

Izzie continued, "I'm not trying to make her the victim here. Obviously she's done her share of wrong things… but so have you. You're both to blame for what your marriage is. And this thing with Mark… she tried to tell you."

Derek's head snapped up, and he opened his mouth to say something, but Izzie cut him off before he could speak.

"Last night. When you invited her over to talk. She said she told you about her staying with him after you left and then tried to tell you about the abortion, but you had agreed to talk about more later on."

"That doesn't make it better," Derek finally said.

"I know. But at least she was making the effort. You have to at least give her that."

Derek nodded.

"She wanted to tell you herself. She was furious with Dr. Sloan for what he did. She never meant to hurt you."

"She was pregnant with his child, and she never told me. That should have been my baby. She never should have been with him."

Izzie sighed. "You're right. But you can't let someone like Mark Sloan ruin what you and Addison had. He's not worth the effort it takes for you to hate him. I know it's easier said than done, but just let it go. Let him go, and just focus on fixing things with Addison."

"How am I supposed to just be okay with everything that has happened to us?"

"Forgiveness," Izzie said simply.

Forgive like crazy. Those words ran through Derek's mind again, and he realized more than ever that his father was right. As usual. There was no way he was going to get through this without forgiveness. Ready or not.

Izzie spoke again before he had a chance to say anything. "Dr. Shepherd. I know I am way out of line here, but she is your wife. She loves you. And if I'm not mistaken, you love her, too. For better or for worse. It's in the vows. Despite everything you've been through, you still love her. Am I close?"

He didn't answer her out loud, but Izzie could tell by the look on his face that he was right.

"Then what more do you need?" she asked, smiling at him for the first time that day.

Derek was silent for a long time before finally answering Izzie's question.

"What if love isn't enough?"

"What if it is?"

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hand
And when you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small

Hmmm. Feelings? I personally love Izzie in this chapter. Sometimes I just want to murder her on the show, but not so much here.

I don't have much else to say. I wanted to get this up before Private Practice and Grey's start back up again. I'm sooo excited for both of them. I will try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible. Classes start tomorrow, so that could slow things down. I'm thinking that there are only three more chapters, though…

REVIEW.