I haven't been able to figure out how to fit this one in properly, but considering the response I got for the last one, I figured I ought to upload this other one anyway. Maybe everything will get tied in later...or not. We'll see.

We actually never ended this one, so it stops kind of abruptly. ((And I was going to let Ayumi Elric upload it, but she's being slooooow about it, so that's just too bad! Meh!)) So, this particular segment of the un-story that this is was written by Ayumi Elric, StormxKira, and yours truly, hehe. Though we probably shouldn't be taking credit for it. With the exception of the mental pictures we gave you last time of the miniskirted dancing Roy, this one is worse for the most part...well...sort of...you make up your own mind.

And please forgive the fact that it's not finished. We honestly don't know where we want to go with this. Any of you insane readers know?

Disclaimer: We're not going to even try to claim ownership to this. We don't want it now.

It was a bright sunny day and Edward was walking down the streets, minding his own business. Nothing could upset him on a day like this. Well, nothing could upset him until he heard someone from behind him call "Hey, shorty!"
Edward whipped around to glare at the offender, eyes narrowed furiously. "WHO DARE CALL THE GREAT FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST SHORT?!" he shouted. "Me, of course!" came the voice's response.
Before Ed could find out who dare insulted him, a cream pie collided with his face. Cream spewed everywhere as he toppled over in surprise.

Ed shook his head vigorously amidst spitting out tar and feathers ((where the heck did those come from? It was just a pie!)) and then finally turned around to behold his attacker. Ed's face turned a shade of deathly pale as he suddenly realized who it was.

"Nice one, pipsqueak." The emerald haired sin Envy smirked, armed with a second pie at the ready. He threw it, hitting him square in the face once again.

Edward sputtered as the second pie slammed him in the face, angrily wiping the cream from his face. He glared at Envy. "PIPSQUEAK?! Who are you to throw insults, you darn palm tree?!"

Envy staggered back a couple steps and sputtered, "Palm tree? PALM TREE? I'll show you a palm tree!" And in that instant, Envy turned into a palm tree.

Ed stared in shock and confusion. "What the?" He muttered, clambering to his feet. He poked the Envy tree a few times.

"Wow...that has to be the weirdest thing I've seen all day," Edward blinked. He stared at the now-palm-tree-fied Envy and a wild smirk flashed across his face. Clapping his hands together, he transmuted his famous automail blade and grinned wickedly at the Homunculus. "Time to cut down a tree"

Suddenly the Envy tree started shaking timidly, and oddly, started talking. "Nooooo! Have mercy pretty mommy, have mercy!"

Ed laughed evilly, holding a flashlight under his face to get the better effect of evilness. "Never!!!!" He shouted, lifting his blade high. "Timber!" He shouted, about to take a swipe when..."STOP!"

Ed glanced back to see who had tried to stop him, but yelped in surprise when instead yet another pie slammed into his face. Blueberries splattered about, and as the dish from the pie oozed off his face, he was covered in blueberry globs. He quickly licked some pie from his lips, then resumed his glare. "What the heck?!"

"But Brother, I thought that you liked blueberry," said a very woeful Al, shoulders slumped forward as though about to cry. Ed rolled his eyes. "Well...I do...just not...THAT way...and besides, I need to cut down this tree. Wanna help me?"

Al blinked slowly. "Why is there a tree in the middle of the street, anyway?" He asked curiously, poking the tree. "Stop doing that!" Envy snapped. Al squeaked and hid behind his brother. "Brother! The tree's haunted!"

Edward blinked at him. "No, it's not haunted Al!" he snapped. "It's Envy! I called him a palm tree and then he turned into one! So help me cut him down!" he smirked.

Al blinked a few times as he registered this new concept. "So...when you call someone something, they turn into that thing? Is that a power of yours?" Al stopped for a second, completely ignoring whatever Ed was saying to deny this statement. "Wait, maybe it's an Elric power!" Turning to his brother, he pointed and then shouted, "Shorty!"

A giant vein popped on Ed's head. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING-Wait, what's going on?!?!" Ed started randomly shrinking until he was the size of a pickle. "Nuuuu!" Ed screamed, clutching his head. Al gasped, covering his mouth in shock. "Sorry, Brother!"

Edward stared at himself in dismay, then looked back up at Al. Or, tried to. Alphonse was now so much taller than him that he toppled over backwards just trying to look up that far. "Say I'm tall! Say I'm tall!" he pleaded.

Al smiled, obviously contemplating the situation, and then said, "I don't know, Brother, you're kinda cute this way." Al then reached down and picked up the tiny little growling Ed, patted him a couple times on the head, and then stuck him in his pocket.

Ed fell down the abyss of Al's pocket, landing in a huge pile of lint. He coughed on a minute fuzzball, clambering off the lint and looked around. His eyes widened when he saw the huge mint a couple of feet ahead of him. "Sugar!" He cheered, jumping onto the huge mint.

Edward quickly tried unwrapping the mint, but the plastic was stubborn and refused to bend for him. "Darn it!" he muttered, gnawing at the end of the plastic as he tried to get it to untie. "I--want--my--mint!" he growled between rips.

"Having trouble, Brother?" said Al, hearing Ed's shouts of fury and so sticking his hand down into his pocket. "Ouch!" he yelled a moment later and quickly withdrew his hand. One of his fingers bore tiny little teeth marks.

"Why can't I get this darn mint open?!?!" Ed yelled in frustration, his mouth full of shredded plastic. He spit it out and realized that he still had his automail blade. Getting an evil idea, he started stabbing the plastic of the mint wrapper. "The mint is mine!" He yelled in triumph, diving into the hole he had pierced and gnawned on the mint.

Edward gnawed on the mint contentedly, breaking off chunks at a time with his automail. When the last chunk was gone, he glanced around in the pocket for any other goodies hidden in the lint. "Dang..." he muttered, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Al," Ed called from inside the pocket, "Do you have anything else around that I could munch on?" Al stopped what he was doing and flinched. What was wrong with his brother? That voice was waaaaay too high-pitched.

"Um...oh! There's a lollipop in there." Al said, hoping he could still use his powers. And, as he had hoped, a green lollipop appeared in his pocket. Ed grinned. "Yippee!" He cried, starting to scoot his way up the lollipop stick.
"Blast it! Another wrapper!" Ed sighed. "No matter! No wrapper is a match for the great Edward Elric!" he said dramatically, flashing his blade. "Have at you!" he smirked, swiping at the lollipop wrapper.
However, when he swiped at the wrapper, the inertia created by the movement knocked him off of his hold, and he fell down to the bottom of Al's pocket. Sometime later, he wasn't sure when, he opened his eyes and said, "Who am I?" only to notice the giant lollipop a moment later and say, "I'm in CandyLand!"

"Where there's lollipops, there's sure to be Princess Lolly!" Ed proclaimed, jumping to his feet. "I'll find you, Princess!" He yelled, loud enough for Al to hear, and started making his way up the lollipop again.

"Are you trapped inside the wrapper, Princess Lolly?! Egad! You say the KING put you there?! I always knew that fat oaf was no good!" he scoffed, trying to slice open the wrapper again. "Don't worry, Princess, once you're out of here, we can go find that old hag with all the peanut brittle!"

Al bent his head down and peered into his pocket, observing his tiny brother trying to slash open the lollipop. "Brother, what are you doing?" He reached into his pocket and pulled both Ed and the lollipop out. Ed blinked a couple times at the sudden intrusion and then shouted, "Ahhhhhhhhh!! Wait, what are you? Ahhhhhhhhh!!!"

"Slay the beast! Kill the monster! I have to protect Princess Lolly!!!" Ed shouted madly, brandishing his blade around. Al stared at him for a long time. "Brother, have you gone crazy?" He finally sighed.

Edward looked at Al in disbelief, as if it were the most obvious thing on earth. "Crazy?! What are you talking about, Al?! Princess Lolly is suffocating in Lollipop Forest and I have to save her!" He blinked, a sudden suspcious look dawning on him. "Oh...I see..." he narrowed his eyes. "You're jealous! You want the princess for yourself!!"

"Wait, what?" Al said, shaking his head to make sure he had heard right, but nothing else was coming to mind. He turned back to his brother. "I think you've had a little too much sugar. I guess I should return you to your normal height, though you're cute this way...but kinda crazy."

"Crazy, bah!!! You're just trying to steal Lolly from me! Well, that ain't gonna work!" Ed shook his fist up at his brother and ran across his palm to tackle into the lollipop. "For Lolly!" He yelled, jumping through the air and...missing his target. Instead, he fell through Al's fingers and fell towards the ground. "AAAHH!"

As Edward plummeted to the ground, he tried to scrabble for something to grab onto. "FORGIVE ME LOLLYYYYY!" he called desperately. Just then, a sparrow swooped down and grasped Edward in its talons, flying towards a nearby tree and landing on a low branch. It chirped triumphantly while Edward wriggled around in frustration. "You're that king, aren't you?!" he said maniacally. "I'll teach you for kidnapping my love!" And with that, he bit down on the sparrow's foot. However, the sparrow felt nothing stronger than a tick bite and promptly pecked Ed on the head.

Al barely had time to react to Ed having slipped through his fingers before the sparrow had taken off with him. As soon as he was aware of what had happened, he ran madly in the direction that the sparrow had flown while shouting, "No, that's my brother, give him back! He's not a worm, don't eat him!"

"Aiyaa! That's gonna leave a mark!" Ed said dizzily before falling over unconscious. He woke up exactly 5 seconds later and looked around. "Whoozah what?" He looked up at the bird. "Augh! Monster! Run away!" He yelled, leaping off the nest. He then realized how high he was and cursed, just before falling and screaming.

The sparrow, not so eager to give up her meal, chirped and dove down after her prey, catching him in her beak. However, Ed was still flailing and shouting incoherently, and his tiny automail poked the sparrow in the forehead. Shocked, the sparrow screeched, dropping the blonde again and flying back to its nest. "You're so mean!!" she cried, hiding her face behind her wing.

Just then, right before Ed was inches from hitting the ground, he remembered something important. A confident grin setting on his face, he twisted in the air and pumped his fist into the air. "Up, up and away!" He shouted, flying up into the air. He squealed excitedly and flew past Al. "Tra-la-laaaa!"

Al looked on from his stationary position nearby and his jaw dropped open at the sight. "Brother..." he said as his voice trailed off, "You've become a...a fairy!"

Edward hovered in place for a moment, staring at Al before he felt wings sprout from his back. It didn't hurt much, but it was rather awkward. The blonde grimaced at the girliness of his new, sparkly butterfly wings, but didn't have much time to mull it over before his clothes shifted into a bright red frilly dress. "Oh...this is wrong on so many levels..."

"But..." Ed trailed off, staring at the girlish pink wand he was now holding. "It feels so...right!" He grinned and posed cutely, twirling in the air. Al stared at him, his eyes twitching as he watched his older brother pose in different ways, then pretend to walk the catwalk in the air. "Nightmares...gonna get nightmares..." Al murmured.

Edward smirked. "Again, you're just jealous Al! There's no way you could have as much grace and beauty as me...Dear god what am I SAYING?!" he froze, the sugar now starting to wear off and his senses returning. "And yet..."

Suddenly Al felt a tap on his shoulder. Startled, he whirled around to see who had approached him so suddenly, and looked up into the face of a...well...he didn't know what it was. "What are you?" he asked, as though the look on his face hadn't already asked the question. "Didn't you just order a nightmare?" the thing said, "I hope I've got the right address. I'm supposed to scare somebody."

"For some reason..." Ed continued shakily, despite the fact that Al was no longer paying attention. "It feels...good somehow..the excitement...the grace...the strange breeze I'm starting to feel somewhere I've never felt it before...this feels great!" Ed gasped in horror. "Ah, no! I'm turning into a crossdresser! No!"

Edward flitted over to Al and grabbed his shoulders. "Al! Call me tall! Right. NOW!" he pleaded. "I don't wanna be a cross-dressing fairy! Please, please don't let me be a giiiirl," he moaned.

Al blinked a couple times. This wasn't a sight one saw every day...or a conversation for that matter. "You're a girl?" Al asked. Oops, wrong thing to say.

Instantly, a pair of rather large breasts appeared on Ed's chest, filling up the empty space in his dress. And...ahem...some private areas were changed too. Ed gasped in shock, his voice an octave higher. "Nooooooo!!!" He screamed in a high pitched, girly way.

Edward's eyes narrowed at Alphonse. "Oh yeah?!" he growled in his high-pitched voice. "Two can play at that game, you pickle!"

Al's skin suddenly turned green and he shrunk away into a pickle. Ed had a brief moment of glee and danced around in the air before he remembered a critical point: If Al couldn't talk, then he couldn't exactly turn him back to normal, now could he? Ed glared back down at the pickle and said, "I mean...you pickle with a mouth!"

A tiny mouth appeared on the Al pickle. Al pouted with his new mouth and crossed his...pickle arms. "That's not fair, Brother! I don't even like pickles!" He squeaked. "Now I'm not turning you back you...you..." He trailed off, trying to figure out what to say.

"Say one word and I turn you into your worst fear!" Ed threatened, though he had to admit it lacked severity with his new voice.

Al squeaked. "You're bluffing! You couldn't possibly turn me into a...a..." He cut himself off, shuddering hard.

"That's right, Al! I'll turn you into a newt!" Edward grinned.

Poof! Al turned into a newt. "Noooooo!!!!" Al sobbed, covering his face with his...uh...hands? "I'd rather be a girl then a newt!" he said before realizing his mistake. Al poofed once again, this time turning into a girl with a dress similar to Ed's. "Ack!" He yelped while Ed laughed.

Edward cracked up, doing little somersaults in the air as he cackled with glee. "Ha! Now you know how it feels!" he snickered.

"Well, you're still tiny, so there!" Al yelled. Ed shrunk another two inches. "Gah?! Darn it, Al, watch what you say!" Ed yelled.

Al smirked at that. "Oh? Why should I, you cootie-infested shortie!" he teased.

Ed shrunk another two inches, and tiny bugs appeared all over him that could only be assumed to be cooties. "Ew!" Ed yelled, flailing around. "You PMS-ing idiot!"

Al blinked and immediately crossed his legs, face flushing.

Like I said, it's not finished, and it ends abruptly. We don't know what else we want to do with it, but it was fun, hehe. Feel free to leave reviews and suggestions and "Oh my gosh, I wanna join!"s, and whatever else you fangirls do in your spare time. I wouldn't know. I'm the un-fan-girl...whatever that means...I think I've just confused myself.

Anyway, see you all later!