Before I know anything, I'm under an elderly tree, it's branches slouch so low that they brush against the dusty ground. Zuko is standing apart from me, instead of pushed up close, looking awkward, as if he's regretting bringing me here. I scrutinize him, my arms folded and my expression sceptical.
"What's the big idea, Zuko?" I demand, no longer bewildered but indignant that he feels he can just pull and push me like the tide; I'm not as tolerant.
He blushes- the prince of flames, Zuko, blushing like a small child. It unsettles me- what happens next? That's what I ask myself as he shuffles from foot to foot. I watch him thinking furiously, his scarlet robes washing out his handsome face, but only making his amber eyes more alive.
He's always had so much passion, for his honour, and probably for that girl he was with, the girl with her spinning daggers and unreadable face. It's my turn to flush, to look away. But he had left her, and he had left his honour behind. Where will his passion take refuge now?
The question will be answered, and I know what it is, but I don't let it come into the light, I don't let myself realize. It's too surreal, too unmentionable.
"You love the Avatar."
It takes me a while to realise that he's asking me a question, not making a statement. I am short of breath, the tree's shade was so much cooler seconds ago.
"I..."
It is all I can say. It's impossible to fill the silence hanging heavily between us in the air. It's impossible to explain the situation between me and Aang, it's too complicated, there's so much we've been through together. But at the same time it could be so simple. I could love him and he could love me. But there's something pulling at me, deep down, telling me to wait. I don't know what it is, but right now it feels as if I'm so close to discovering it.
"I'll take that as a yes..." Zuko says bitterly, turning away from me. His hair falls into his eyes so I cannot see his scar anymore. He looks younger, more free.
"I don't know, Zuko." I insist, not knowing why I am so desperate for him to believe me. Why does it seem like the world is only just balancing on a pin point and could topple to it's destruction at any minute whilst he believes that I love Aang? He looks up.
"How can you not know?" He says incredulously as if he knows so much more than me. But what does he know about love? He's spent his whole life craving it, starved of affection.
"There's just so much...love there," I try to fit the days, weeks, months, nearly a year with Aang into words, "I'm not sure what kind of love it is..."
Zuko regards me for a while, his eyes shining their bittersweet amber. Again, he seems to be thinking. I stand there, feeling like an idiot doing nothing, saying nothing.
"Don't decide anything yet." He says, and memories and emotions through his eyes.
I cannot deny that his eyes are beautiful, but what does that mean?
Nothing...it means nothing.
I cannot deny that right now my pulse is racing, and my mind is screaming, but I feel so waterlogged, so paralysed. Does he have this affect on everyone? No, only that acrobat girl has that ability...her harmless appearance sinister and haunting. She was on his side, but now he's on mine.
"Just...keep this in mind." He whispers to me, pushing my torrent of hair away from my face and closing his eyes, closing the doorway into his mind. Mine are opened wide, as if I'm trying to wake myself up from a disorientating nightmare. Before I can even whisper his name his lips are on mine, strong enough to leave their mark but gentle enough to make me tremble.
As if I am exhausted, my eyelids droop and I'm leaning into him, a my hands against his chest, his heartbeat racing against my fingertips, as if beating a rapid code to me, a secret message...
And it's over, he's apart from me, a bridge of discomfort stretching between us. I didn't know where to look as he steps back. He looks at me, too deeply.
"Stop it." I mumble, my lips feeling too big, as if he had left his on mine. Or maybe it's because they should never have been there. It was so different from Aang's kiss, the day he left me. His was swift and wistful.
Zuko's was...more than I could handle.
He was still looking at me.
"Just remember that," He tells me, "And then decide if you love the Avatar or not."
And he ducks out of the trees, leaving me pressed against the tree's trunk. A tear fell from me as I whispered:
"His name...is-"
"AANG!" I hear a voice scream, and before I can even acknowledge the terror clawing inside of me, I career through the low branches that had obscured us, my water pouch already opened, and my arms armoured by my element, ready to fight for Aang, in whatever danger he was in.