I'm still in Zuko's arms. It's been hours, maybe days…
No hours, hours Katara… you're losing yourself again.
His body has become so familiar to me. His lean arms, his strong torso and his long legs are part of my memory now, his strong chin and his long nose connected to me. His eyes…they fire me up, they light my flame, and they awaken my passion.
I've never, in my life, felt like this.
My heart is hiccupping, my eyes feel bright and I feel feverish. All I want to do is be with him.
We are still where we were those hours ago, when I tried to confront him and ended up kissing him, more deeply than I've ever kissed anyone. He's my first love, and I want him to be my always.
I take his face in my delicate hands, feeling his rough chin, a harsh terrain thanks to his razor. Aang's face is as smooth as a young boy's. But right now I cannot bring myself to think of him.
It's so quiet here, so secluded, no sign of any other life. We may well be the only people in the world.
"Can I talk now?" I whisper delicately, still tasting his tongue on mine. Zuko's eyes sink into mine, and the subject of talking is forgotten. I raise myself on my tip toes and kiss the prominence of his cheekbones, the angles of his jaw line and then those lips, the ones that speak poetry to me without a voice. It's an innocent kiss, short and sweet but enough to make my heart thud once more. The things this boy can do to my hear-
"Katara?"
My world falls apart now, with a click of a finger, the blink of an eye. My name bounds of every surface, calling me incessantly. I spin around; my eyes that were drooping lazily seconds ago were open wide, my cheeks flushing furiously and my heart pounding its fear to me, panicking. The bottom of my stomach falls away when I see Aang standing there, in the vast doorway, clutching his glider like a walking stick, because if he didn't have it, he would've probably fallen to the floor.
I don't know what to do- Oh my god, what do I DO? - I'm standing there, frozen, caught in the act. The walls are falling in, spikes are flying at me, but I'm falling, completely at loss.
"I-I…Oh, Aang!" I cry out, completely distraught.
Guilt, horror, remorse and so many other emotions are flying around, exploding, whizzing, and screaming. I hold a hand to my head, trying to silence them, but they rage on and on.
What will Aang say? Will he shout, fight…cry? Oh God, he can't cry, I'll die if he cries…
Why do you always think about yourself? Aang's world is falling apart, and it's all because of you! What the hell can he be going through right now? But no… it's all got to be about you, Katara, hasn't it? Princess Katara, leading two innocent guys on…you think this would never happen?
"Its not- I didn't mean to- You have to-" I tried desperately.
They were all reasonable start outs, but it didn't matter; I had no explanation to support them. No reason for why I had betrayed Aang in one of the worst possible ways, or why I had given in to Zuko.
"You don't have to explain, Katara…" Aang says miserably, not looking at me- how could he possibly look at me right now? His posture is tragic: his shoulders rolled inwards, his chest sinking into him, shutting me out. His head is hanging slightly, as if he has no strength to hold it up. But his eyes are the worst, glistening and hurt, his eyebrows cocked up in misunderstanding, not seeing how I could've done this to him. He turns to go…
Say something, don't let him leave! A voice tells me, repeating it again and again, making my head ache. I watch Aang, completely paralyzed in horror and disbelief that this is actually happening. I don't want him to go, but what can I possibly say to him?
He doesn't take one look at me as he ducks out of sight. I stay silent, listening to the whipping noise of his new navy glider, and then the whistling of the wind, carrying him away from me…