My lips crash against his, and I try to accomplish all the kissing I would've done if I'd decided to spend a life with him. I try to complete all the discreet caresses, the little smiles exchanged only between us, the running of hands through hair, the familiarity of his mouth, his cheeks, his eyes, his laugh in just one, fleeting, wistful, pain-riddled kiss.
These simple but beautiful things, priceless and utterly irreplacable flash through my mind as my lips push and pull against his, like water, something he'd never understand like I do.
But I've made my decision. And now he must know before we set off for the second invasion, this day, this morning, this hour, this minute, I have to break away from him and leave him, but leave him with the knowledge that I will always love him, in a way that I've loved no one else.
All of that has to be said in one minute. A whole lifetime doesn't seem enough. Nothing's enough when I'm leaving this person behind.
But then there'shim...the boy that I am to leave with, and spend my life with, if it's meant to be. How can I be sure when I've been switching back and forth, unsure of what's real anymore, of what fits?
Zuko or Aang…
I've made my decision, the hardest decision that I've ever had to make. But if you think about it carefully, it becomes so easy. Even after days of contemplating, of watching each of them carefully, wandering what our children would look like, if he wouldn't be able to go a day without kissing me. Would Aang ever give me that…feeling? Would Zuko ever make me feel completely safe, completely at home…complete? Would Aang even forgive me if I chose him?
As I finally pull my lips away from his, I feel the reality crashing down on me. Not that we're about to face the Fire Lord, and possibly the end of…everything today, but that I'm about to face him.
Him…