Thanks again for everyone that is reading this and especially those of you that review! I enjoy reading what people think! I hope everyone had a good holiday and ate lots of food. Here is the next chapter! Again, from Derek's point of view and the feelings grow for Dasey! But I still don't own 'Life With Derek'
Chapter 4: Cause Everytime We Touch, I Get This Feeling
Regardless of what anybody tells you, out of all the five senses, the sense of touch is the one that is most electrifying. The one sense that heightens every experience. Every texture will feel different: some soft, some hard, some brittle, some squishy, and some that are easy to cuddle with. Touching is one of the oldest senses in which discovery occurred. Even more so, all of the senses only have one target area: Sight with the eyes, sound with the ears, smell with the nose, and taste with tongue. However, the sense of touch can occur ALL over your body. Every little fiber of your body has such an intricate system of nerves.
With every touch, you skin becomes alive with a feeling that you can never feel in any other way. It rocks you to the core, and can almost leave you breathless. It burns a fire inside of you where you would do anything to keep that fire burning inside of you every second of every day. However, we can be burned another way, a painful way, in which when we feel something it hurts deep down, the agony, and how you try to pull away as fast as you can to prevent feeling the unsatisfying feeling. Sometimes the touch feeling has a bittersweet feeling. The stinging of a cheek after getting punched but winning the fight, being slammed into the boards and while stinging all over, you score the winning goal in the last 7 second of the game, etc etc. Our bodies have some many different sensations every single day since we are constantly touching something every minute of every day.
She is the spark that is inside of me. From the moment I spotted Casey, there was some type of feeling there. And when my Dad made me shake all their hands, nothing was strange until I shook Casey's hand. Her gloriously, soft hands fit so perfectly into mine. A jolt was sent up my arm, but I didn't think anything of it. Casey was going to be my new step-sister, which I loathed the idea. So I just thought the jolt, the fire burning, was just the nerves giving me a different feeling instead. And from that moment on, I always had an excuse. It's why I very rarely touched Casey, because if I didn't, I never had that feeling. There were times my mind momentarily lapsed and I forgot that the innocent little touch affects me in such a way.
Started with the nudging. Instead of actually holding Casey, whenever I needed my fix, I would find other ways to get the desire, the fire burning within, to subside. It started with whenever I would nudge her with my shoulder. It would look as if I hit her hard, since she would huff, but it was a little tap that had big potential. Of course, the fix of just nudging wasn't cutting it. Proceeded with wrapping the arm. Led to the random times I put my arm around her shoulder, quickly might I add. Even if it seems like I'm doing it for my own personal gain, like when I switched our math papers and she lied and retook the math test (mind you I was very proud of her at that moment). Just grabbing her and giving her the pep talk was the little bit of an endorphin rush that I needed. Those were the only ways I dared tried touching her.
But things changed. When my revelation of how I was falling for Casey came a week ago, I did the only sensible thing that I can do. I avoided her. I just didn't know what to say to her, or how to act around her. I got so close to kissing her in the kitchen after the 'Apple Crisp Mishap' as I like to call it. Of course, I couldn't avoid her forever; we did live in the same house, a room apart if you even want to get more specific. And more so, we are going to the same party tonight. And what party? A New Years Party.
Of course, since this was going to be an important party that I was attending at Sam's house, I needed to look my best. I walk to the bathroom and Casey is in there again, primping and getting ready. I couldn't help but think how beautiful she looked in her black skirt with her baby pink sweater.
"What do you want Derek?" she says to me as she lightly brushes some eye shadow on her eye lids.
"I need to brush my teeth," I said simply as I lean against the door, smirking at her.
"Well, you'll just have to wait since I'm getting ready right now. So leave."
She just finished putting her make up on and was still ruffling her hair. And all I wanted to do was run my fingers through her chocolate brown locks that were cascading down her shoulders. Casey grabbed the hair tie that was sitting on the counter.
"Don't," I said softly as I grabbed her hand. My hand is tingling as it lightly is grasping hers. I've never known the feeling of her hand in mine when it wasn't forced. "It looks nice when it's down."
Casey looks at me with a look of wonder on her face. She smiles shyly and takes a step toward me. I had this sudden urge to just touch her hair. It looked so silky and soft, and wondered if it felt that way as well. I reached out and ran my fingers through Casey's hair, still smelling like fresh apples, but was delighted in the feelings that I felt. Her hair was so soft, almost like silk and I just wanted to wrap myself into it. I made sure not to mess a single strand of it up, since I did want her to look beautiful tonight, but I couldn't help but pull her face a little closer to mine.
"Smerek, what are you doing right now?" Marti asked innocently as she came to the door of the bathroom. Casey and I instantly jump apart and I run my fingers through my hair. Just not as silky smooth as her locks of golden brown hair, but my fingers still are yearning to be dug within her hair again.
"Uh….. nothing Smarti!" I said uncomfortably as I picked her up. "I was just going to ask Casey if she needed a ride to Sam's."
"Do people normally hold onto other people's hair when they really want something?" Marti said so innocently and I couldn't help but chuckle at her.
"Marti, how about you go find Lizzie and Edwin and ask them to play Tea Party," Casey said rushed.
"Oh, I love that game! But you didn't answer Smerek's question."
Casey looked up at me expectantly. "Well, as long as it doesn't matter….."
"GREAT!" shouted Marti as she jumped out of Derek's grip, "I'm going to go downstairs and see if I can get a pony while grabbing daddy's hair," as she skipped out of the doorway and bounded down the stairs.
The moment between Casey and I was broken and obviously uncomfortable with the situation. I grabbed my toothbrush, since I forgot the original purpose of my trip to the bathroom was to brush my teeth. Of course, Casey still was standing in the bathroom and I needed to finish getting ready so I didn't care if she saw me full of tooth paste.
"Sefhan terty," was all I told her while I brushed my teeth.
"What did you say?"
I spit out the toothpaste that was in my mouth before turning back to her. "Seven-thirty, make sure you are ready by then. That's when the car leaves with me driving."
She gave me one last look before she rolled her eyes and walked out of the bathroom. "You are so disgusting."
"Takes one to know one," is all I could reply. Oh, this is going to be a long night.
Casey kept fiddling with the radio in hopes to find a good station to listen to. I think it was more to keep awkward conversation from coming between us. When I pulled up to Sam's house, the party was already booming and you could see a lot of people dancing already. The noisemakers were heard in the background. Oh, have to love when someone's parents are out of town.
I got out of the car and Casey is still frozen, twiddling with her purse as she looks around. She looked nervous, and I couldn't for the life of me put it together right away. She slowly got out and closed the door before taking a deep breath.
"Everything ok, or are you worried that Klutzilla is going to show up?" I ask as I search her face.
She smiled hesitantly at me before looking down at the ground. Apparently the snow on the ground was MUCH more entertaining than me. "Do you think Noel is going to be all over some girl tonight?"
I totally had forgotten it hadn't been too long ago that she and Noel broke up. And it was due to him cheating while at a party. I already blocked the whole thing from my memory. "Casey, honestly, just make him jealous. You're a girl, you do the whole drama, cause a scene thing."
"Der-ek, seriously! I'm not all about drama you know," she said annoyed before her tone changed, "Besides, it's not like I really like him. I've moved on," she said matter-of-factly.
I smirked at that, "Well, just try to tame that klutzilla, we don't need any incidents here tonight." She turned around while rolling her eyes, obviously done talking about this with me and started walking to the door. I ran quickly to catch up to her before I grabbed her hand to turn her around to face back around to me. "Seriously though, Casey, don't worry about him, he's not worth it. Have fun and enjoy the holiday."
My hand was tingling with satisfaction as I held her hand. Casey's hand was tiny in comparison to mine, but it felt like a perfect fit. It was as if she was a soft puzzle piece that just fits perfectly. I didn't want to let go, and I didn't. By the time we walked into the front door, we were still hand in hand and I couldn't help but have a little smile on my face. After we were in, Casey realized that we were holding hands and dropped it. I felt like a part of me left. She ran off towards Emily, obviously trying to avoid any awkwardness that was inevitable, and I chuckled as I walked over to Sam.
"Sam, my man! What's going on?" I asked by the time I got to him.
He gave me a look, a knowing, pointed look. Whoops, guess some people noticed Casey and I when we walked in, though they really don't know what she did to me. "I saw you and Casey walking in holding hands. Is there some love in paradise?" Sam asked while shoving my shoulder.
"Come on Sam. Me, with Casey? Get real. You know how I don't want to deal with any drama," I tried to say in my best convincing voice.
"So you enjoyed every second that lasted?"
"You know me too well," I said as I turned to scan the crowd.
Obviously there were many people here at the New Years party. It was the party of the year, well end of the year. It was the last one we potentially all will be together before we graduate. Have to live in the moment. If only Casey would get that mentality. Casey. She is someone that honestly has been consuming my thoughts 24/7. And as nice as it was with our entrance into the party (though it involved some PDA), I knew there was nothing big I could do here at the party. But already I was aching, aching to feel her again. Her hair already made me wonder, and now, just the slightest hold on her hand, I wanted more. I wanted to know what it was like to have her in my arms, to hold her close when it isn't an unpleasant experience for us.
I watched her from across the room, while she was smiling at everyone and talking to Emily. I wanted to know what it felt like to hold onto her sweater. She looked my way and caught my eye before sending a little smile. Is the small of her back as soft and smooth as it looks? She winked before turning back to Emily which she giggled. Emily looked at me with that knowing smile. Are my feelings not as secretive as I think that they are? Of course as the night passed and time got closer to midnight, my desire grew. Sam and I just hung out with the other hockey guys before they went off to find some 'hot chick' for their midnight kiss. And I had my fair share of girls that were slinking up to me, but I shook them off. I didn't want any of them. There was only one girl I wanted.
"Hey Sam, want to dance?" Emily said as she walked up to him. She and Schleper hadn't lasted, and I knew that Sam had a thing for her, but was always concerned with moving in on someone that is in 'mourning.' What is mourning anyway? I don't know what that feeling is.
"I'd love to," Sam said before he abandoned me in the party. Most of the girls were already partnered up, but not mine. Well, not Casey. I walked over to her and wordlessly take her by that hand and bring her to the mock-dance floor that is in the living room. Everyone's heads turn to look and I hear some cat-calls coming from some of the guys. I dare them to look at us, I don't care. The feel of her in my hand was enough.
I wrap my arms around her. Her sweater was the softest thing ever, as if she was a teddy bear. The feel of her in my arms, without her crying, was completely a different experience. Dancing was always a passion of hers, and it became of passion of mine after the start of this entire thing. Casey and I had an understanding until that inevitable day at her dance recital when it all changed. Her hands around my neck were sending shivers down my entire spine. Such a sensitive spot, and she was massaging my neck as we danced, or she leading the dance.
The small of her back just felt perfect and delicate. Her hips were moving in an intoxicating way, swaying, feeling as if they had the power. The power to enthrall me and to fall weak in the knees. My hands burned where they touched as I memorized every minute detail that I could. I was honestly lost in my own little world where there was nobody else there. Every nerve on my body was heightened and in overdrive with every second the music continued as time slowed. I placed my forehead against hers, needing to be as close to her as possible. Our bodies were so in sync with each other, with an undiscussed yearning that we both mutually shared. In the background I heard the familiar countdown starting, the approach of the new year coming.
My ten fingers tingled in our slow moving dance.
I shifted my forehead so I could look into her beautiful blue eyes and just fall deep within them.
Her hands slid down from my neck to run up and down my back. Her hands forming their own little trail, the feeling of feeling safe in her hold and how I didn't want her to let go.
I was in heaven and did not want the moment to end.
I stopped dancing and she stopped next to me.
I moved a strand of hair that was falling from her face.
She nuzzled her head into my shoulder before she lifted it back up to look me square in the eye.
Her eyes unnerved me with the passion that was there.
I felt her pull me closer in as her eyes flutter close.
And the one thing I thought could never happen was presenting itself right here in the middle of the party.
"HAPPY NEW YEARS!" everyone around us screamed and I panicked and turned my head. Time sped up again as I felt the best feeling in the world. Velvety feeling against my cheek that felt that it lasted for hours, but only for the briefest moment before it was taken away. I felt alive. I felt that I was in ecstasy with the feelings that I obtained. I looked quickly into her eyes to see shock also in her eyes. Every inch of Casey was against me, and every inch was burning with how soft and how amazing she felt right next to me. A perfect fit. It was destined to be.
"Happy New Years," Casey said in the softest voice before tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
I smiled at her, "You too Casey."
As amazing as touching Casey was and feeling every angle of my nerves sparking a fire, I let go. I gave her one last look before walking away, needing a second to breath. Let time catch up with me. I know she was slightly disappointed but I needed to. Because if I didn't walk away right at that second, I didn't think I could resist.
The only thought I had when Casey's lips were against my cheek was how soft those lips would be against mine.
It's a new year, new changes. It was just telling myself that I was ready for them.
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