Standard disclaimers apply
Not so Good Friday
"I have your tests back from last week. Some of you did well and some of you need to consider if you really should be here." The physics teacher said as he handed back the exams.
A 38! Joan knew this had to be wrong. "Mr. Peterson, this can't be right." Joan showed him the paper.
After a quick glance, "You're right, it should be a 33. Maybe you should spend more time studying and less time goofing off. Why can't you be more like Luke? He's already been accepted to any college he wants and he's only 16."
"Because I'm not Luke, I'm Joan." She said in a bare whisper. 'I did study, but maybe I'm just not that smart. After tonight it won't matter.' She thought.
"Joan, can we talk?" Grace was looking nervous.
"Sure and I have something for you. I remembered how much you liked this." She handed her a small jewelry box.
"This is your necklace. It's only supposed to be worn by a Girardi."
"The "G" can be for Grace. Take it. I don't ever wear it."
"I'm worried Joan you're getting way too depressing, you're not thinking of doing something are you?"
"No, I just wanted to say 'I'm sorry'. Friends?"
"Sure, don't let Peterson get you down. He's not worth your time. Hey, tomorrow we'll go to the mall and make fun of the preppies."
"Can't, still grounded, but I might be able to get out for good behavior."
"Luke, I wanted to know if there was a way I could send an e-mail at a certain time, even if I'm not at the computer?"
"Yeah, just…" Luke explained it to her over lunch. "Can I ask why?"
"I wanted to send one to Adam, but I might not be around when he gets off work."
"Joan, a minute." Cute boy God said.
"Later Girardi." Grace leaned in close; "He is so fine."
"See you Grace." He answered politely. When they were alone, "This is morally wrong and you know it."
"I don't care anymore."
"You'll burn in Hell for all eternity."
"Can't be worse than this"
"In ways you cannot possibly imagine."
"Since Heaven has forsaken me, I'll take my chances in hell." Joan walked away.
"Wadup G?" A teacher in his mid-twenties walked up.
"Hi Lou, What do you want?"
"Just to remind you that you gave them free will. She can do what ever she wants. That sweet little soul will make such a nice addition."
"She's not yours yet."
"You can't interfere in her choices"
"I know, but neither can you."
"Joan, that meal was fabulous! I think I'll have to sleep it off on the couch." Will, normally a big eater, barely finished his steak. Each one had cost $10.
"What did you do with our Joan? She could never cook like that." Kevin suppressed a belch.
"I just wanted to do something to make up for the witch I've been lately. And I want to say to Luke, 'I'm sorry for beating you up'."
"I'll get beat up every week to get a meal like that."
"I'll start cleaning up and you guys can go relax." Joan started to clear the table.
"Here, let me help. That was incredible."
"Thanks mom."
"You feeling alright? You hardly ate anything."
"Stomach's upset. You know how it gets before I start."
"There's Pepto in the medicine cabinet. You go lay down and I'll finish cleaning up. Maybe you should see the doctor, see if one of those new birth control pills could help you."
"Sure next week maybe. I love you mom."
"I love you too Joan."
Helen could hear the men in the living room. "Kevin, how do you set the clock on the VCR? The power flickered."
"Here, gimme the remote. Watch." Kevin began pressing buttons. "See, like this."
The family settled into the couch and chairs. Will was just about to comment on the 'Law & Order' mistakes when the phone rang.
"Hello." The caller sounded out of breath.
"Where's Joan?" Adam asked.
"She went upstairs to lay down. She said her stomach was upset. Why? What's going on Adam?"
"I just got an e-mail titled 'To be or not to be' and all it contained was the theme to 'MASH' and the message 'I will always love you Adam.'"
"Hamlet and MASH? I don't get it."
"That line is when Hamlet is considering suicide and the theme to MASH is titled 'Suicide is painless.'"
"She wouldn't." Will began taking the steps two at a time. "Joan! Open the door!" He pounded on the locked door.
"What's the matter?" Helen asked as will handed her the phone.
"Adam thinks that Joan's suicidal! Stand Back!" Will started to kick the door in, but it held. "She barricaded it!"
"I know another way in!" Adam yelled into the phone.
"Helen, check the medicine cabinet, see what's missing. Kevin call 9-1-1, Luke help me with the door." Will barked out orders.
They could hear glass breaking and a man grunting in pain. "Push on the door. I busted my arm!" Adam yelled.
Will, Adam, and Luke were able to get the door open and saw an empty whiskey bottle and several pill bottles scattered around Joan's unmoving form.
"Oh God, baby NO!" Will couldn't move.
"JOAN!" Helen screamed.
"Make a hole people." The lead EMT called out as they carried a gurney and several boxes of equipment. His partner handed Luke a bag. "Gather up all the empty bottles, quick!"
The first paramedic pulled out a box cutter and sliced open Joan's shirt to attach heart monitor leads.
The two quickly hooked the leads and secured her to the gurney. "We gotta move, NOW! One parent can ride."
"Go Helen, I'll follow!" Will shoved her into the ambulance and shut the door slamming his hand on it twice. "Into the car!" The four men got into Will's unmarked unit.
"Intubating." The EMT pulled a tube and set to forcing it into Joan's lungs.
"DEFIB!" His partner yelled as her pulse flatlined. "Charging to 300."
"5 mil adrenaline!" The one held out his hand for the syringe. With a calm touch, he tapped the air out and lined up the tip. "Sorry." He whispered and rammed the needle though Joan's ribcage into her heart. "In, ready?"
"CLEAR!"
Nothing.
"Charging to 360."
"Come on girl, not today. Nobody dies today. 1and2and3and4and5" He breathed into her still body.
"Charged, clear."
Beep…beep…beep. The pulse was weak, but her own.
"We got her back."
Her mom sobbed.
"It was my choice mom. Mom? MOM!" Joan yelled at Helen.
"She can't hear you." A white light said.
Ghost-Joan fell to the van floor. "Oh God."
"In my true form. You're not dead yet, but you're not really alive either. You haven't choosen yet."
"I guess I'm such a looser the I can't even kill myself right. Why am I such a fuck-up?"
"You're not. You must be strong; your toughest challenges lay ahead. I will see you soon."
"Girardi?" The middle-aged doctor asked the assembled group.
"How is she? Can we see her?" Will asked, not sure he could handle the wrong answer.
"I won't sugar-coat it; She had every intention of dying tonight. We managed to get charcoal into her stomach and that absorbed some of the pills. We've got her on dialysis trying to get anything out of her blood. From the bottles brought to us, she swallowed a large number of very potent sleeping pills, two kinds of anti-psychotics, a muscle relaxant, a morphine based painkiller, and Viagra." Kevin and Luke looked at their dad and grimaced. "She's in a coma now. I can let two of you in at a time, but only for a few minutes each. We've done everything medically possible for her, It's up to Joan now."
Adam rose slowly to go see Joan, but was stopped by the doctor. "I'm her boyfriend. Isn't that family enough?"
"Plenty, but you need to have that arm looked at. Come with me." Adam looked at the doctor, his eyes pleading. "I promise you'll get a chance to see her."
"Tell Joan I'll be right in and that… I love her."
Will nodded, "Sure thing."
"Baby, it's daddy." Will held his little girl's hand. "The sheriff needs his deputy." He thought back the game they used to play when he was working the detectives unit. He lost it. He had sworn an oath to protect this city, but he couldn't even save his daughter. After a little while, Will and Helen left, so Kevin and Luke could visit their sister.
"One of us should go back to the house and take the boys home and get some stuff. We need some snacks and a change of clothes and those pink fuzzy socks, Joan loves those things and…" She broke down sobbing.
Kevin silently rolled up next to her, "Mom?"
"Yes Kevin?"
"This might not be the time or place, but I want to know about the night of my accident."
"In a minute. I need to sit down." The family huddled around in some chairs as Helen told Kevin about his stay in an ICU.
"You weren't as bad as this; we knew that your spine was broken and that you would be paralyzed. Hey, don't stand there and gawk! That's my daughter!" She yelled at the orderly.
Adam turned to the group. "Sorry, They had to cut my shirt off. My shoulder's separated. Wrist's broken and they dug a bunch of glass outta me." The hospital had loaned him a scrub top to wear. They couldn't see that his wrist was encased in plaster and his whole arm was tightly strapped to his body as the top covered his arm.
"I'm sorry, we're all on frayed nerves. Come here." Helen gently hugged Adam. "You saved my little girl's life. Thank you." Helen started crying on his good shoulder.
"This is my fault. If I hadn't of shut Joan out after she smashed that stupid statue, she's be at home now."
"No, I did this when I threw out her model. I pushed her over the edge." Luke said.
"We all had a hand in this." Will noted, "We kept putting more and more pressure on Joan and she snapped."
"NO! This is my fault!" Ghost-Joan was yelling to no one. "Why can't they understand it was my choice, my mistake."
Will rose, fished out a few dollars, and bought everyone a pop. He drank his diet coke straight down. "Two things I would like to know; how did you know the theme to MASH and why did she e-mail you?"
"MASH is dad's favorite show and the letter had a 'send at' time listed. But I got it early."
"She asked me how to time delay an e-mail today." Luke said, sipping his diet coke. "I bet when the power flickered, it reset the computer's internal clock and sent the e-mail."
"How did you know that the tree would reach her window?" Will looked at Adam with a cop's eye.
"Where is your gun?" Adam looked scared.
"At home and I don't care how often you snuck into her room. She's lucky to have friends like you and Grace."
"Grace, I should call her, unless you don't want me to."
"Go ahead."
"I should have known something was up when she gave me this." Grace handed Helen the "G" necklace. "She said she didn't wear it anymore. I totally missed the signs. I'm a terrible person." Helen hugged Grace and tried to calm her.
"We all missed the warnings and blaming yourself won't help."
"Where is she?" Grace looked around. "Oh God!" She saw her best friend. She was hooked up to several monitors and had IV lines running out of both arms. The dialysis machine was taking blood from one leg and returning it to the other. Joan's hair had been shaved off to allow for brain wave monitors. A machine was steadily breathing for Joan. What Grace could not handle was the small tube running into Joan's nose. It oozed a black sludge into her best friend.
After Grace went in to talk to Joan, Helen gathered the group together. "Will, I'll stay here, you take the kids home. Bring the things I told you about earlier from home and hurry back."