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Chapter Eight: The Moanings of an Overgrown Dungeon Dweller

We are the greatest

Slytherin beat Ravenclaw at Quidditch, always knew we would, Ravenclaw are crap at everything from sport to potion making. Though even I must admit I'm surprised we won with the current team, Draco Malfoy spends more time getting onto his broom than actually flying around on it. And I've told him that if he doesn't beat Potter when we play Gryffindor I'll personally ensure he is moved from Slytherin to Hufflepuff, regardless of what his father says.

Lupin and Potter are best friends

He's now teaching Potter how to produce a Patronus, it's so helpful that it's almost sickening. I bet Potter wouldn't be so eager to spend so much time with Lupin if he knew that Lupin could take both his legs off without a seconds warning. Let's just hope Potter doesn't annoy him too much, or it's bye-bye to Potter Junior. Now that's a thought, Potter would be dead, Lupin thrown out of Hogwarts and exiled from the Wizarding World and Dumbledore would finally realise that I was right all along. I can't see any down side to this plan.

Hmm…

Only Lupin would never attack Potter because he's Potter Senior's son and also the Boy Who Lived. Even Lupin isn't stupid enough to kill him.

Ha

Just been making fun of McGonagall in the staff room, reminding her how Slytherin are going to win Quidditch this year because Gryffindor are crap. And Potter doesn't have a broom. She then proceeded to unveil the Firebolt and announce she was giving it back to Potter as it had been checked for all jinxes. Now wondering if I could jinx it without anyone noticing….

Granger and Weasley have fallen out!

Oh it's so funny to see them not talking. As a child I never had the luxury of being able to argue with my friends. Mainly because I didn't have any friends to argue with. Ah, it's so refreshing to see malice and bitterness in ones so young. I could almost forgive them for a) being friends with Potter, b) being in Gryffindor and c) for being children. Almost, but not quite. I still hate them both.

Bugger and Darn

Tried to get out of going to the Quidditch match by playing the good old 'I have lots of work that I suddenly need to get done' card, but Dumbledore saw through it immediately and practically frog-marched me to my seat, then insisted on sitting next to me and making these ridiculous 'Ooooooooo' and 'aaaahhh' noises whenever anything happened. I asked him if he needed a potion making to help sort out some terrible affliction that might be causing such noises. He looked at me as though as I was crazy, before smiling and patting me on the knee. I nearly fell off my seat when he did that. One of the scariest moments of my life and one I hope never to repeat. Potter made fun of Malfoy in the Great Hall before the match, said something really witty about attaching extra arms to Draco's broom. I would have laughed along but I don't think it would have done much for Slytherin morale. And I've forgotten how to laugh, I think it has something to do with the voice box but I can't be sure. Something reasonably exciting did happen during the Quidditch Match however, Draco, the two goons he calls friends and that ugly Flint child decided to dress up as Dementors. I am disgusted to even call them Slytherins; no Slytherin in my day would have made such a pathetic attempt at sabotage. We would have done it properly with lots of smoke and howling. And we certainly wouldn't have got caught.

Drama!

Sirius Black is here. In the castle. Oh it's so exciting. I wonder what he looks like after a few years in Azkaban? I bet he's no longer the smug pretty-boy he was in school. I bet he's gaunt and smelly, with long black hair, yellow nails and manky teeth. Can't wait to find him. I might perform a few spells on him before delivering him to the Dementors. Wonder if Dumbledore will let me keep him as a pet and experiment on him? Ah, revenge is best served when simmered for a couple of decades. Makes it all the sweeter. I'm off to scour the castle from top to bottom; I don't want Lupin getting there before me. Wonder how Black got in anyway… the werewolf….