okay...okay , i knew it took a long time to update. it was because i was too lazy m'kay?
well usually i don't like to cuss, but if you're writing with Hidan, it's like the most important thing, so i'm sorry about all the swearing. My thoughts about this chapter are kinda weird. I couldn't find much effort into the crush part of the chapter.
P.S. I really do love Deidara to bits, but i just had to make fun of him. :P
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters/plots/part of Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does though
Man, can you believe fucking Kakuzu had a girlfriend, and I didn't?
It was something so damn creepy,
That girly pyromaniac Deidara-Chan screamed like a bitch.
I punched him…or rather attempted to.
Makes me wonder if he really is a guy.
But that's beside the damn point.
Kakuzu that damn, money-whore, bastard partner of mine had to go,
And rub it into my face.
I mean honestly who in their right mine would fucking want to date
Something that…that…is well you know, is…umm…plain fucking ugly.
The only reason why I didn't have a girlfriend was because Jashin-Sama Says there is no fucking thing such as love.
Fuck, the only thing I would have for a woman is Lust.
I remember before I took up Jashin,
I was a freaking pansy.
I had a, dare I say…crush
Yeah that's right, a crush on a girl!
She was a pretty tough one, always wore a little red necklace on her neck.
She always acted kind,
But had one hell of a temper.
She knocked me out once, the little bitch.
To think I followed her around like a love struck idiot
With a pole shoved up their ass…pathetic.
I had remembered her saying I was cute.
Like Hell was I cute!
If I could go back in time,
I would've cut her to bit-size bits,
And roll around in her blood, like a pig in mud!
Damn…why can't that dream come true?
She said sorry to me, and then she asked me to meet her at the park bench.
Me being the faggot I was when I was twelve, accepted.
When she arrived her necklace was missing.
It was odd because it was her most prized possession,
Plus it was worth a whole castle.
Damn it, she really reminds me of Kakuzu now.
She looked at me suspiciously,
And me just gawking at how pretty she looked just ignored it.
She screamed at me, accusing me of stealing her necklace, and shit like that.
Funny, a temper like that is something worthy Jashin Followers need.
Well, the bitch fucking attacked me with one of her
Puppet-like water controlling jutsus.
Shit As if that bastard Sasori wasn't enough for creepy puppets.
I dodged it, but just barely.
I had asked her "What the Fuck I had done?"
She just blabbed on about her cheap, shitty necklace being stolen.
Now I had received my scythe three days before.
It was my first scythe.
I took it out in self-defense.
But then as she kept attacking me, I began to taste my own blood,
Or rather, should I say it was hers.
I didn't notice I had cut her stomach open
With just the slightest slice of my scythe.
It tasted good.
I kept cutting her up like I was on fucking crack,
Or something like that.
When I looked down, she was a bloody mess.
I felt so alive, but then in a split second,
Recognition became apparent.
I was a little amused, and horrified at the same time.
All of a sudden a little meow came from behind me.
As I turned around I realized in this cat's mouth was the girl's necklace.
Oh yeah! Blame fucking me to steal a priceless necklace!
When it was a fucking cross eyed son of a bitch cat!
"What are you doing, un?"
"FUCK YOU KITTY! YOU LITTLE DOUCH-BAG!"
I punch the object in front of me with all my might.
Apparently that object happened to be a stunned Deidara.
The sickening crunch of him greeting the wall,
Was what woke me from my thoughts.
"HIDAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!!! YOU BASTARD!"
Next thing I know I got clay spiders,
And clay birds surrounding me in a circle.
Please don't say that faggot was going to detonate them.
If this bastard did then I fucking swear I would rip his-
"ART IS A BANG!"
"…BOOM!"
Damn It!
"KAKUZU! HAUL YOUR ASS OVER HERE,
AND SEW MY HEAD BACK ON!" I screamed
…No response.
"KAKAAAAAZUUUUUUUUUU!"
poor kitty...:(
it never had a chance...(neither did Deidara)XD
oh well i liked writing this one more than Kisame's.
I don't know who to do next...i'm running out of ideas here.
If you have a suggestion or idea tell me okay?
I don't care if it's stupid or not, the category is humour right:D
-Kitsune-Kisses