Travis

I slept most of the day. I had no dream. When I did dream, it was all just recalling the events that happened last night.

I remember it all so well.

Finally I awoke. It was about three in the afternoon. My head ached and my heart throbbed. But I decided it would be good for me to get out of bed.

I walked downstairs. Beck was conscious now. Thank God. I felt bad enough I made him knocked out for the evening. If he was still paralyzed, I might have gone crazy with guilt.

"Hey Travis."

I didn't say anything back.

"You want some coffee?"

"Sure." I manage to grumble. My eyes are still red.

"Are you okay, Travis?" He asked, handing me a mug.

"I'm fine." I lied. "I'm going to study… A gato de silvia, diabo acoute." It made no sense. I hoped Beck got the message.

"Okay, Travis. Call me if you need anything."

"Mm." I said in return. I carried my coffee cup back to my room.

I sat at my desk.

I placed my coffee on the desk. I didn't really want to drink it. But Beck was so nice…

I held my head. "Oh Mariana…" I said aloud. "The things I would do for love."

I pulled open a drawer. A letter came out. It was from Mariana.

I scrunched up my nose. "What is this?" I whispered to myself.

"Dear Travis. I love you. I always have. I always will. But I need you to understand that we cannot be together. We are too far apart already. I am so sorry, Travis. I still love you. I wont stop. I promise you. Write to me once I am in Brazil. I cant wait to hear from you. My friends loved you Travis. They will be very disappointed when they find out you didn't come back with me. But again, they don't understand love. They don't understand our love. I am sorry, Travis. I miss you. So much it hurts. I hope that you remember me, always, Travis. I know I'll never forget you. Love, Mariana.

I folded up the letter. I sat there staring at the wall until I couldn't bear it anymore. My entire body collapsed it's figure and surrendered to the bitter monster of sadness. I couldn't control the water coming from my eyes.

"Oh, Mariana." I sobbed. "Mariana."

Beck

I was about to go check on Travis when the phone rang. I picked it up.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Mister Beck."

It was Mariana.

"Hi, Mariana." I said quietly, so Travis couldn't hear.

"I am in Brazil, now."

I sat in a chair.

"That's good. Safe flight?"

She ignored my question. "How is Travis?" She asked.

"He's… he's…"

She waited on the other line.

"He's a wreck." I didn't see any point in lying. "He's been asleep, most of the day, and he only said two and a half words before heading to his room again. This morning he was worse."

"Oh." She said softly. "I apologize, for worrying you, last night, Mister Beck."

"Travis already told me." I could feel her blush through the other end.

"Oh." She said again. "Do you think I could talk to him?" She asked.

"I don't think so, Mariana."

She swallowed. "I understand." Her words were wet. "Sorry for bothering you, Mister Beck."

"No problem."

"Visit me."

"I will." I didn't say we will.

"And Mr Beck?"

"Yeah?"

"Please, tell Travis to call me. I miss him."

I paused. "I'm sorry, Mariana. I cant… I cant really tell him that."

She swallowed again. "Please? I may never speak to him again."

I closed my eyes. "Maybe. You've hurt him pretty bad."

I could hear a small sob on the other end. "I never meant to hurt him, Mr. Beck. I… I'm sorry. This must be awkward for you." She sniffled on the other end. "But I believe that this is the right thing to do."

"I do too, Mariana."

"Goodbye, Mr. Beck."

"Bye."

I paused, looking at the phone for a moment. I clicked the red button shortly after. I would tell Travis later.

Travis

"De Silvia Acoute." I read aloud. "Is a priceless treasure found in the deepest part of the country. There are many definitions of this name, however the closest one in Elglish is BESIDE THE HEART OF CHRIST. The precious artifact if worth over millions, similar to A GATO DE DIABO, which is yet another artifact that was hidden by 'The hand of God' , or so the people 2000 years ago believed. A GATO DE DIABO was found recently by a Harvard Professor, Christopher Walken."

I stopped.

What?

I looked over it again.

"Christopher Walken?" I almost cried. I crumpled up the paper. "A Harvard professor bought me gato?!?" Tears filled my eyes. Not of sadness, but of anger. "Christopher is a liar! He didn't find my gato!! Travis Alfred Walker found this gato. MY gato de diabo!!" I screamed and pushed away from my desk.

Beck watched from the doorway. He didn't interrupt. He didn't tell me to calm down.

"I hate this!! I hate a gato de diabo, I hate de silvia acoute, I hate Christopher Walken, I hate Mariana!!" I snatched the papers off the table and threw them around the room. I screamed and cursed, and kicked the bed. Finally, I stopped and sat on the bed.

I couldn't do this anymore.

I held my head in my hands and wept.

Beck came and sat beside me.

He looked at the ground as I sobbed.

Finally I let out a gasp and wiped my eyes. "I'm sorry." I said again.

"Its okay, Travis." He whispered.

"Its not okay. Do I look okay?"

He shook his head.

"You look anything but okay."

I nodded. "I know."

We sat there for a few minutes.

"I miss her." I whispered, silent tears falling down my face. "So much already."

Beck nodded like he understood. He didn't.

"I thought… I guess I thought she would stay after last night."

He shook his head. "Did you really Travis?"

I shook my head. "No." I let out a small sob, but I caught it. "I just wanted to be with her."

Beck looked at the ground. "I may sound crazy, Travis, but I know how you feel." He whispered.

"You don't." I muttered.

"Thought you would say that." He continued anyways. "But listen, for a moment. Are you listening?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"I loved a girl once. Her name was Amanda. She was real pretty."

I tried to smile to help him out, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Anyways…" He held his head. "I had something to get. For your father."

I cringed at the thought of him.

"It was a envelope opener." He laughed, and shook his head. "A little envelope opener."

I looked at him, confused. I saw that he was crying.

"I went to get it, but… Amanda demanded she come along. She didn't want to see me get hurt, but she wanted to make sure nothing happened… like I got shot or something…"

He paused. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

"What happened?" I asked in a low voice.

"I got it. I got the goddamn envelope opener. But… but one of his friends…"

I waited. He was crying harder now.

"They shot her. They shot Amanda."

A pit in my stomach formed.

"Right in the head." He sobbed a little. "They ruined her beautiful face… because of some little envelope opener."

I looked at the ground. My situation felt so small compared to Beck's.

"I'm… I'm sorry, Beck." I whispered. I didn't know what else to say. "Is that why…" It took a lot of courage to continue. "Is that why you don't like guns?"

I was afraid he was going to break my arm or something.

"Yeah, Travis. I guess so." He whispered. He wiped his eyes. "Sorry." He said under his breath, and then walked out.

I lay down on my bed and thought about Mariana.

Her beautiful eyes, her hair… her skin.

I loved her so much it hurt. My heart ached.

"Oh, Mariana." I whispered to myself. "What would I do if you died?" I shook my head. "I love you so much, it would take you from the dead."

I knotted my fingers together. "I miss you too, Elizabeth. More then Mariana. But I'm trying to forget about you… You promised you wouldn't leave me…"

I held my head. I tried to think about something else.

But there wasn't anything I could think about that wouldn't force me to burst into tears.

I could feel her heartbeat through my skin. She lay there, next to me, with me, part of me. We were just us, not some fake people who pretended to love eachother. It was clear now, I loved Mariana. She loved me too. Otherwise I wouldn't feel this… We wouldn't feel this… we wouldn't be together…

My head was starting to hurt. These things, they made me upset, but I knew that if I faced them, they would stop haunting me.

Elizabeth's fingers slid up my face. "Travis." She whispered. "No."

And that was it. I couldn't take it anymore. I slammed my head between two pillows and screamed.