Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

--

"There you are Malfoy; I've been looking for you everywhere! We have to schedule a meeting with the prefects right away; they're driving me crazy, always slacking off and screwing around when they're supposed to be on evening hallway patrol. I just caught that fifth year Hufflepuff prefect snogging her boyfriend behind the suit of armor right outside our rooms! Could they get any stupider? I just can't-"

"For Merlin's sake, Granger, calm down. Cut them a little slack, fifth year is really difficult, as you should remember. Everyone needs to relieve a bit of tension- don't glare at me like that! If you want to call a meeting, then go right ahead. Anytime but Wednesday night, I have Quidditch practice."

"Fine, I will. What are you doing flying around alone out here in the dark anyways? It's nearly 11 p.m., if something had happened to you-"

"Worried about me, are you?"

"Wha- no, of course not! But you're the Head Boy, you need to be available in case I- in case the students need you! Besides, it is dangerous, even though Dumbledore got rid of all the dementors around here, there are lots of other nasty things out there."

"On the Quidditch pitch? Granger, you need to relax. Go get your broom, you can join me! Then it won't be so dangerous."

"Erm, no thank you, uh…"

"What? Why not?"

"Well…I really should be going inside, and you should too! It's late, after all-"

"You can fly, can't you?"

"Of course I can fly! Just not…, well, not very well, and definitely not in the dark. Stop laughing, you bastard, it's not funny!"

"Well, well, Goody Goody Granger, best in the school at everything, can't even fly! Ha! I guess there is definitely one thing that I'm better than you at, now isn't there- oww! Why do you always hit me? You need some help with your violent streak, Granger."

"Ooooh, I'll show you!"

"Hey, where are you going? That's the school broom closet, it's locked! Well, look at you, Danger Granger, breaking into school property! Alright then, let's see what you can do!"

"Eat my dust, Malfoy! Aaaaaaaaiiiiieeeee!"

THUD

"Granger? You okay?"

"Yeah, ugh… how far did I make it?"

"About four meters. Your broom is still going, though."

"Shit."

"Get on mine."

"What?"

"Just get on. I'll show you what real skill with a broomstick looks like."

"No."

"Oh, come on. Live a little, you wet blanket."

"Okay, but don't go too fast, or too high, or-"

"Shut up and let's go."

--

Thud

"Ah! See how much fun that is, Granger? Too bad you're so rotten at flying, ha!"

"Oh, fuck you, Malfoy. Blech, I think all those loopy thingies you did made me queasy. Or maybe it was just being in your general proximity."

"You know you liked it. Although you need to cut your fingernails, I think you've permanently scarred my arms from digging your fingers in so hard."

"Good, that's what you get for trying to make me fall to my death."

"I suppose we'd better get back inside before we're missed."

"I'm supposed to be the voice of reason here, slacker."

"Whatever you say, Granger."

--

"Malfoy, would you mind turning that rubbish down? I'm trying to study in here and-"

"Come on, Granger, dance with me! You know you want to!"

"I really don't, actually- aaack! Put me down! Oh no, don't spin me around, I'm going to be sick!"

"Don't tell me you still can't dance?"

"Okay, I won't tell you."

"Good grief, Granger! Let's change the music here… alright, I'm going to teach you how to dance."

"What?! No way. I don't need to learn how to dance- what is this? Celestina Warbeck? You listen to Celestina Warbeck?"

"Yes, well, I'm just full of surprises, eh? Now pay attention, unless you've improved vastly in recent years we have a lot of work to do."

"Excuse me?"

"I saw Krum dragging you around the room at the Yule Ball fourth year, you definitely had two left feet. But that doesn't matter, put your hands on my shoulders."

"Umm…"

"For shit's sake, Granger, I'm not going to bite you."

"How's that?"

"Better."

"Good."

--

"Holy shit, Malfoy! It's one o'clock in the morning! We've been goofing off for three hours, I haven't finished my essay for Professor Vector, I still need to review my potions notes, and I need to study for transfiguration-"

"Relax, you nutter, you're such a raving loony sometimes. You'll be fine, and hopefully some of the teachers will die of shock- oww! Why are you always hitting me!?"

"Because you're always being a toerag!"

"Damn, it's a good thing you're so puny, otherwise I'd be black and blue all over."

"Erm, Malfoy- thanks. This was fun."

"What's this? Doest mine ears deceive me? Goody Goody Granger actually having fun? Merlin forbid!"

"You are still an insufferable prick."

"Well, you're still a prissy swot. And you still can't dance worth shite."

"Goodnight, Malfoy."

"Goodnight, Granger."

--

"Okay, this prefects meeting is now adjourned! You lot make sure you double-check the corridor patrol schedules I gave you, I don't want anyone skiving off their duties! Ginny, don't forget your gloves over there… bye, everyone!"

"Well, Granger, I'm glad that's over."

"Malfoy, you should've backed me up a little better. Our prefects this year are incredibly lazy, and sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who cares!"

"You are the only person who cares. You need to lighten up, Granger."

"But our prefects are off snogging each other when that's exactly the kind of behavior they're supposed to be looking out for!"

"So what? Does it actually hurt anyone if people are canoodling left and right? No. I think you need a good hard snogging yourself."

"I most certainly do not and that is none of your business anyways, Malfoy- have you been brushing your teeth?"

"Pardon?"

"You smell nice."

"I always smell nice."

"No, I mean your breath smells nice."

"Why don't you give it a taste test?"

"Ha ha, Malfoy, very funny. Alright, let's focus here."

"I'm perfectly focused, you're the one who's trying to smell me."

"I was NOT trying to smell you, you're sitting right next to me, it was impossible not to notice, for fuck's sake!"

"Calm down, Granger, it's okay. You can smell me whenever you want, I don't mind."

"You are IMPOSSIBLE!"

SLAM

--

"Morning, Goldilocks."

"What did you just call me, Granger?"

"Goldilocks."

"Who the ruddy hell is Goldilocks?"

"It's from a Muggle fairy tale."

"Okaaaay… was he one of those knights in shining armor or something?"

"Actually, she was a little girl with pretty blond hair, just like yours, ickle Drakie-poo!"

"Goddamn it, Granger, don't ever call me that again."

"Okay, Goldilocks."

--

"Wake up, Granger, its Christmas! Up, up, up, lazy woman!"

"Ungghh, Malfoy, I thought I told you to KNOCK on my door when you want to talk to me."

"I did, doofus, and you didn't open it, so I figured I'd take the liberty of rousing you."

"I thought you were going home for Christmas."

"I changed my mind."

"Shite, it's only five thirty! Do you always get up this early?"

"Only on CHRISTMAS, Granger! Don't you want to see what you got? You've got a decent stack of rubbish here, you know. Of course, nothing like the amount I received-"

"You're an arrogant little berk, d'you know that? Alright, get off my legs, I'm getting up…wow, I did get a lot of presents- would you mind not smearing chocolate frogs all over my room? Thank you."

"Relax, Granger… here, I got you something."

"What?"

"This is for you. Go ahead, open it. Well, don't just gape at me, you look like a codfish!"

"I- I don't know what to say."

"That's a first."

"Oh, Malfoy, where on earth did you get this? I've been looking for this book for ages, all the copies are handwritten and really expensive. Blimey…"

"Well, money's not exactly a problem for me."

"Thank you, Malfoy, this is the most thoughtful gift I've ever gotten."

"Oh, don't go getting all mushy on me, I've got a stomach full of chocolate and I won't be able to take it."

"Ack! I didn't get you anything! I am so sorry, I'm just-"

"Don't worry about it."

"No- but-"

"I said, don't worry about it. My room is so full of rubbish anyways that one more trinket and it'd collapse through the floormmmf…am I hallucinating, or did you just kiss me?"

"Uh…"

"Well, that's one present from you I didn't expect to be receiving this year, Granger."

"Sorry."

"Don't be."

"Good, because I'm not sorry, really."

"Good."

--

"Happy Christmas, Hermione! Thanks for the homework planner."

"You're welcome, Harry, I hope you use it. Thank you for the Honeydukes chocolates. I'm impressed that you remember how much I like those."

"Are you okay Hermione? Your face is beet red."

"I'm fine, I'm just…uh, embarrassed, and I forgot to get someone a present."

"Oh no, who was it? Hopefully no one important."

"Actually, it was someone important. Ummm, will you excuse me? I have to go tell Malfoy something about our erm, Head duties tonight."

"Sure. See you at dinner tonight? Since Ron went to the Burrow for Christmas I don't want to be sitting here all by myself."

"Of course. See you later, Harry!"

"Okay!"

"Psst, Malfoy! Over here!"

"Granger?"

"I have a present for you."

"Pardon?"

"Meet me in our common room after dinner and I'll give it to you."

"Okay, but what-?"

"You'll see."

--

"Ungh…oh God, Malfoy…"

"Hermione… whoa, slow down…"

"What did you just call me?"

"Hermione… that's your name, isn't it? Or is snogging me enough to make you forget even that?"

"Arrogant little berk… come here, I'm not finished with you yet-"

"Hermione, wait… are you sure you want to do this?"

"Isn't it obvious? I know you're not as smart as me, but come on."

"Oh, shut it! You know what I mean…if we keep going like this, I'm not going to be able to stop easily…I don't to make things, erm, weird."

"Draco being courteous? I never thought I'd see the day… oh, Merlin, your hands …"

"Did you just call me Draco?"

"I'll stick to 'arsehole' if you prefer."

"You'll be screaming out 'Draco' in a few minutes, so you might as well start practicing…"

--

"Hey, Hermione."

"…"

"Hermione!!"

"…"

"Hermione Jane Gran- oww! What did you do that for?"

"Because you were being a prick, Harry. What do you want?"

"Ahhh…well, now that you ask, can I see your History of Magic notes? Please?"

"No. Draco already borrowed them, sorry."

"Oh, okay. Wait! Drac-"

"Hello, darling. How was practice?"

"Not as lovely as you, though I'm sure your friend could beg to diff-mmmf."

"Harry, what on earth are you doing, your face is turning purple?"

"Yeah, Potter, what are yo-"

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING TO HIM!! LET GO THIS INSTANT OR IT'LL BE DETENTION FOR A MONTH AND NO QUITTICH!"

"That's right, Potter, nice and easy now, your arm is almost off my windpipe."

"Hermione, what did you- I can't believe- you and him- argh!!"

"Stop sputtering, Harry, this is hardly the first time."

"And the last if I may add, Hermione. This is not the end."

"Malfoy, I am going to castrate you if you touch her again!!"

"What, like this? Or how bout here? Or here? She likes it, look at her. You really going to kill your best friend's boyfriend?"

"Draco, darling, don't say that in front of the whole school!"

"Say what?"

"You know what!"

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do!"

"Don't!"

"Do too!"

"WOMAN, WILL YOU JUST BLOODY TELL ME WHAT I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY?"

"That we're together, idiot."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"You look cute when you're angry."

"You do to, now get it over with, and kiss me."

"Of course, madam."

--

And they all lived happily ever after, The End. R&R!

-AG