Chapter 9

Tony walked into the bedroom and found Kate with sitting on the bed with her knees drawn up to her chest. She didn't look up, didn't even acknowledge he'd walked in. "Kate," he spoke softly, not wanting to startle her if she was too lost in her own thoughts. She still didn't move so he took a step closer so he could slowly sit down next to her. He placed a hand on her shoulder, but she didn't lean back into his arms like she'd been doing all day. She was acting like he wasn't even there and it was killing him. He needed her to confide in him. He wanted to be the one she leaned on, but now she was retreating.

He'd told himself when she'd ran from the room that she'd been running because Gibbs was there, but now he knew that she'd been running from him too. It hit him like a kick in the gut, stealing all the air from his lungs and making him want to double in pain. He didn't know what had changed, what could possibly be so bad that she'd want to hide it from him. He felt like he'd failed her completely, both as her friend and as a man. He wished he could fix it but he didn't know how.

He did the only thing he could do, pulling her into his arms and breathing a sigh of relief when she didn't tense up or fight him. "Let me in, Kate. Let me help." He breathed the words into her ear and they seemed to help. She let out a deep breath and began.

"He has my diary." Her small, shaky voice nearly broke his heart. "He knows who I care about more than anyone else. He knows what'll hurt the most." She felt Tony tense and squeezed him tighter, keeping her head buried in his chest so she wouldn't have to look him in the eyes. She knew what question was coming next but she wished she didn't have to answer it.

"Who?" His words were rough but he couldn't help it. He knew this wasn't the time to be jealous but, damn it, he couldn't help it. Kate was about to name the one guy he wished he could be, the guy who was so important to Kate that she couldn't live without him. He almost didn't want to know and he hated himself for that. Here he was kicking himself because he wanted Kate to be able to tell him everything, and now a part of him wished he'd never asked. Talk about selfish.

He tried to prepare himself, to show no emotion and be there for Kate 110 no matter whose name she said. It didn't work. He still froze when she whispered a muffled name against his chest. "What?" He asked, sure that his ears had been playing tricks on him.

"You." She whispered, a little louder this time, and he knew that he hadn't been hearing things. Despite everything that was going on, he couldn't stop his smile. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and held her as tight as he could. That single word was the greatest thing anyone had ever said to him and he started to tell her that when he felt her shudder in his arms.

Her silent tears were soaking his shirt and he felt like a total ass for not realizing it sooner, too lost in his own happiness. "Don't cry, babe." He stroked her cheek, tracing her tears. "It's all going to be okay. Gibbs and I are going to get this guy before he gets anywhere near you."

Kate finally raised her head so she could look him in the eyes, feeling guiltier by the second. "I'm sorry, Tony. He's going to hurt you and it's all my fault." She tried to scoot away from him but he wouldn't let her. He took her face softly in his hands so she couldn't look away, making sure he had her undivided attention. She needed to hear this and know that it was true.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for. None of this is your fault. You didn't ask for this guy to hurt you or anyone you care about. This is all on him. And he's not going to hurt anyone this time. We won't let him."

"But I wrote about you in that stupid journal. If I hadn't, if you never knew me, he wouldn't be coming after you."

"Kate." He'd said it a little too forceful but he couldn't take her berating herself. "Don't talk like that. I don't even want to think about a life where I'd never met you. You don't know how happy I was when you said it was me that was in that journal. I was dreading hearing you talk about some other guy that was the most important man in you life because I wanted that man to be me. I'd gladly face down a 100 psychopaths if it means I get to be that guy. Don't ever feel sorry for that, Kate, 'cause I'll always be thankful for it."

She smiled and he took the opportunity to kiss her tears away. First her right cheek, then her left. He met her eyes and she leaned closer, closing her eyes and giving him the permission he was searching for. His eyes drifted closed as his lips softly met hers.

Gibbs chose that moment to check on his agents. He froze in the doorway, completely shocked but not wanting to interrupt. He quietly backed out, deciding to give them another minute. He couldn't figure out how they went from Kate's journal to Kate and Tony kissing, and he wasn't really sure he wanted to know. Whatever had happened, at least Kate wasn't crying or shutting down. But they still had a bad guy to catch so he cleared his throat loudly, "Are you two coming out sometime today?"

Tony and Kate slowly pulled apart, both smiling. Tony ran his thumb across her lips. "I've been waiting for that since Air Force One. Later, Kate, when this is all over, you and I have some talking to do. I want to know what you wrote about me in this journal of yours." He raised his eyebrows and flashed a suggestive grin. "I bet it was some juicy stuff. But until then…" He took her lips again, a little harder this time before he forced himself to pull away. She'd been through hell and he didn't want to push her. He reached for her hand as they stood up. "Come on, we don't want Gibbs to come looking for us."

Kate laughed at the image of Gibbs catching them, amazed that she still could laugh under the circumstances. Tony was always good at that. He could take her mind off of anything just by being himself and cracking a joke, flashing her that mega-watt grin of his, or throwing paper clips at her.

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"What's up?" Gibbs asked as soon as his two agents appeared, hand in hand. Kate immediately lowered her eyes. Even with everything Tony had said she still felt responsible for putting him at risk.

"He probably has my journal." Kate mumbled and Tony squeezed her hand in support. "He's going to go after Tony."

Gibbs had guessed about the journal, but the revelation that she'd written about Tony left him speechless. He'd known that they were close, that there were feeling lurking beneath the surface that neither seemed willing to admit. Gibbs had never expected Kate to admit to herself how much she really cared about Tony, let alone write about it. His money would have been on Tony putting the moves on her during some really tense situation when all their emotions were hanging on by a thread.

He could tell his silence was starting to worry them but he'd been caught totally off guard. Finally, he cleared his throat. "Uh, I guess we at least know where to start. I'd put the NCIS team at the top of the list from the beginning since we spend so much time together and there were plenty of pictures of us at your place. Now we know to focus on Tony."

"Boss," Tony interrupted. "Maybe we should get Kate out of here now."

Gibbs nodded, "Yeah, I'll make the call and we'll move you both to a safe house within a half hour." Tony looked confused. "But Gibbs," he started before Gibbs silenced him with a look. "Both of you." He growled.

"But what you said earlier could be our best chance of catching him." Tony said, referring to Gibbs' plan to separate him and Kate.

"I thought you wanted to stay and protect Kate."

"I thought you wanted to catch this guy." Tony countered. The best way he could help Kate was by catching Greg. Gibbs had been right, as much as he hated to admit it. He was so busy staring down Gibbs that he was caught totally off guard when Kate spun around and smacked him in the shoulder.

"Ow! What the…" Tony rubbed his shoulder.

"Are you crazy?!" Kate exploded, looking angrier than Tony had ever seen her. And that included the time he'd answered her cell phone and told the guy she was seeing that Kate couldn't come to the phone right now 'cause she was waiting for him in the shower. It would have been even more hilarious if Kate hadn't overheard and elbowed him in the solar plexus before he could even hang up. "You are not using yourself as bait, DiNozzo! If anyone should be bait her it should be…"

"Don't." Tony quickly pressed a finger to her lips. "Don't even think it Kate. It's not an option."

"Neither is this." She glared at him and he couldn't help but laugh. She was just so cute when she was angry. He immediately regretted it when she shoved him, taking him by surprise again and making him stumble a little. It was then he noticed the worry shimmering in her eyes that she was trying to mask underneath the anger. She was worrying for him, it dawned on him. She took a step closer so she was standing right in front of him again and the look on her face nearly did him in.

"Tony," Her voice was soft, barely above a whisper. "Please, don't do this. Just stay with me. Let Gibbs catch him. I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you, especially if it was all because of me. I know," She held up a hand when he started to correct her. "It would be his fault, not mine. But that wouldn't make it any easier. Promise me, Tony. Promise me you'll stay."

Tony swallowed back the lump in his throat. He didn't want to cause Kate a single moment of pain or worry, but he wanted to catch this guy now. He wanted to hurt Greg, to make sure he'd never hurt Kate again. He rebelled at the idea of leaving the job to Gibbs, but Kate hadn't given him much of a choice. There was no way he could walk out on her now. On the other hand, what she didn't know couldn't hurt her. Although it could be pretty painful for him after she found out. Still, there was only one thing he could do.

"I promise, Kate."

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