(A/N) This story is set after the Arrancar arc but before the Hueco Mundo arc. This fanfiction contains angst and dark themes not suitable for younger viewers. Rating may change.

Title: Transgress Prevarication

Pairings: Renji/Rukia, slight hints of Rukia/Ichigo

Rated T for angst, language, violence.

Summary: Misunderstandings commits the fall of wickedness. One shinigami violates the law of God, a faux pas, falling deeper drowning in his own sin. How can you breathe?

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or the characters.

Blah - talking

Blah - thoughts

Blah - Flashback

Chapter 3: Abhorrence

The only sounds that could be heard in the Urahara shop was the heavy rain continued pelting against the roof, curses and grunts of pain that belonged to one particular shinigami.

Renji hissed in pain, his free hand clutching his chest. Normally lifting the small laundry basket from the small cramped laundry room floor would be a simple. But the shinigami only caused his wounds to reopen once again because of said task. It was a pathetic attempt to get his uniform washed and dried that ended in complete failure. Now here he was, bent over on his knees, one hand supporting his weight while the other clutching his chest, helplessly trying to stop the bleeding.

"Fuck..." he growled, an overwhelming feeling of dread weighing heavily on his shoulders. Renji tried to muster enough strength to push himself up only to end up slipping forward ripping open sensitive tissue. The red head cried out, a cold feeling crawling down his spine. Shuddering violently he gulp deep breaths, remembering that he would have to stay calm so his body would not react to the sudden shock. Unfortunately his throat tighten and the sick foul feeling return with full force. Slapping both hands on the cold floor, Renji's breath hitched before retching loudly, emptying whatever what was left in his stomach all over the ground. The sickening taste of bile and blood lingered in his mouth, the floor covered in crimson.

"Shit," Renji's voice cracked as he fell to his side. Squeezing his eyes shut, he focused on the rain tapping on the roof above and cool floor against his warm skin. It was soothing for some reason.

The tattooed man was only half consciously aware that he was still lying on his side in the tiny laundry room. Once excruciating pain soon fading to a dull numb feeling. Staring half lidded at nothing, Renji took great consideration in his situation. Groaning he shakily sat on his knees grimacing from the foul taste in his mouth and the new mess on the tile floor. I need a mop...

The quiet seconds quickly formed into minutes to near an hour as Renji realized that he had cleaned the once bile covered floor for the fourth time. Nothing wrong with cleaning, he assured himself as he reluctantly tucked the cleaning supplies away in the cabinet. Correction, nothing wrong with cleaning blood and vomit from the curious leering eyes of the occupants living in the shop. Pausing his movements, floor cleaner clutched in mid air, Renji brows furrowed from the thought. He never hid his injuries before, so why would this time be any different? Although it has been awhile since he allowed anyone to tend to his wounds.

"I don't want to be a hindrance that's all..." Biting his lip, the tattooed shinigami mentally slapped himself for speaking his thoughts out loud. Another annoying habit he has been picking up in the human world. Closing the cabinet door he couldn't suppress the deep chuckled emitting from his throat. It seems the human world was the blame for most of his problems these days. But that was how humans would act, place the fault of their own mistakes upon someone else. Such selfishness to ease the pain and humiliation. Either Renji was spending too much time with the living, or his gigai was affecting his mental capacity.

Grasping the laundry basket as if it were his lifeline, Renji slowly made his way into his bedroom. Once the familiar click from his shutting door was heard, the sound of ringing bells from the shop door slamming opening from the other side of his room echoed. The shop was alive once again, Urahara's voice full of glee and optimism followed by small footsteps that pattered across the store. The red head hung his head letting out a sigh of relief relaxing his tense shoulders he didn't realized where hunched.

Turning away from the damned door, Renji began his unfinished task of caring for his laundry. Folding each garment carefully he placed them neatly in the small dark dresser. Not many knew but Renji was a bit of a neat freak. Of course that was mainly because of Rukia. She would always pester him for leaving his shinigami uniform scattered across his bedroom floor, or not putting away his garbage.

"Honestly Renji you're a lieutenant, so you better damn well learn how to make your bed!" The small petite shinigami had her hands place on her waist while scolding him, a playful expression dancing in her eyes.

Smiling from the memory, Renji whistled a happy tune while he folded his favorite black shirt. It took a few months but the shinigami finally was able to grasp fashion sense. Meaning that Rukia no longer dressed him up. Even though the red head felt like a doll being heavily abused by a hyperactive five year old girl, he would always let Rukia make him wear the ugliest, tackiest, weirdest clothing he had ever seen. It was worth the embarrassment because in the end, she would smile brightly and thank him for wearing the outfits she chose specifically for him.

He was use to her creativeness. As children she would place flowers in his hair or ribbons (mostly torn or tattered) to make him look more appealing. Renji held a laugh. Yes Rukia always did silly things to him, but she would laugh and his world would soar. Rukia had the most beautiful laugh, and cutest giggle. He couldn't remember the last time he heard her giggle but he was glad she still laughed. Not only laugh, but smile. The perfect smile matching perfect dark blue eyes deeper then the midnight sky. Her creamy white skin, soft raven hair. Yes Rukia was-

Renji froze. His hands shook as he placed one over his chest, feeling his heartbeat quicken its pace. He knew he was blushing from the heat he felt in his cheeks.

"Stop thinking about her," he hissed to himself. Thinking only led to thoughts surrounding her, no matter how happy the memories of them were he would always end up feeling depressed and worried. Did she make it home safely...? It's still raining, I hope she didn't get wet...

A boy with orange spiky hair and a small girl with black hair shared an umbrella, laughing and joking.

Red eyes darkened, hands clenched tightly against his sides.

"She's with him...so she'll be fine," Yes Ichigo took good care of Rukia and she loved him for that. Coldness seeped into his veins numbing his heart. She cares about him so what. The human brat makes her happy so that's all that matters. Rukia...will come back I know it.

But come back for what he wondered.

A wave of dizziness hit Renji with full force. Placing both hands against the dressers wooden surface for support, the red head let out a shuddering breath. Once the lightheadedness subsided he let out deep breath before taking one in. His body felt slightly uncomfortable and his face felt warmer then usual. Maybe all this stress is finally taking its toll. There was a knock.

"Ano...freeloader-san are you here?" A short pause, Renji hesitated for a moment but finally replied although his voice was a faint whisper.

"Yes, what is it Ururu?" Silence again, why wasn't she responding? After a pregnant pause she broke the quiet tension unbeknownst to them.

"It's time for dinner, you said you would join us this evening remember?" Ah yes, that he did. But after the laundry incident he lost all appetite for the rest of the week.

Beep...Beep...Beep...

His communicator detected a Hollow in the area, music to his ears.

"Gomen, but unfortunately I have to kick some Hollow ass," Another lie. But it was easy to lie remember?

There was a shuffle from behind the door, and Renji's ears perked from the whispers behind it.

"Can't someone else take care of it..." the meek girl was so quiet, Renji bearly heard what she said.

"Can you repeat that, didn't quite catch that last part," Perhaps it was hopeful thinking, the mutt longing for attention again. Pathetic...

"I'll save you a plate," She spoke louder this time, her voice almost sounding sad. Don't fucking pity me dammit! Burying those harsh thoughts he cleared his throat.

"Ah...yes well-

"Have a safe night Renji-san..." And she left, her little footsteps disappearing. Staring dumbfounded at the door, Renji closed his eyes, the strange angry emptiness feeling returned suddenly.

"Howl, Zabimaru!" Releasing his zanpakuto into it's shikai form, Renji swung the blade towards the huge Hollow feeling great satisfaction when the blade made contact with the demon, blood gushing from the broken mask before it's form turned into dust. Oh the shinigami was angry, not only were these Hollows annoyingly difficult to kill, but they came in great numbers. He almost regretted leaving without dinner, a nice hot meal would be wonderful. Though the pains in his stomach would never allow it.

Swinging back he sliced through another group of smaller Hollows, their horrific screams brought a grin to Renji's lips.

"Scream you bastards!" Yelling out he slashed another beast, digging his sword deep within it's body, ripping the creatures insides out. Blood splattered over his uniform and face but the red head didn't care. He only wanted to cause more pain for them, wanted them to suffer.

Forcing his body back he somersaulted unto a empty rooftop, his hands raised to perform a Kidou spell.

"Wave of Destruction Number 31, Red Flame Cannon!" Bright bursts of red energy shot from his hands, exploding on contact with the Hollows. Only a few more to go!

Gripping the hilt of his zanpakuto he leapt into the air unleashing his wrath upon the helpless beasts. One by one they each disappeared turning into black dust. One crab looking Hollow shot a claw out slicing across Renji's torso. The shinigami was filled with adrenaline and anger and payed no heed to his wound, only the same mantra repeating over in his head. Kill them, kill them, kill them!

Moving back he pushed all his energy into his sword. God it felt good to take out his frustration on these weaklings. But it wasn't enough. Blood sprayed and bones were crushed but Renji didn't stop, not until they're all dead. All of them...

Kill them, kill them, kill them...

With a inhuman growl Renji through his fist into one of the Hollows mask breaking it, more appeared. Another wave with his sword he cut the razor sharp tentacles that crawled at his legs digging the hilt into the monsters head. His breath grew erratic, sweat dripped off his brow and Renji was having the time of his life. A screeched behind caught him off guard, quickly he spun around and attacked, Zabimaru deeply embedded in the Hollows head before it disappeared. Renji's face twisted into a sick smile ready to launch another attack. The mantra continued until...

Kill them all, kill them all, Kill them, kill them, kill him!

Gasping from the last word he froze from his spot in the middle of the paved street, his arms shaking, eyes wide. The Earth stopped spinning the rage diminishing. He stood as still as a statue, he legs quivered refusing to move. His mind betrayed his body, the dark thoughts lingering in dark depths. Kill him? Kill...Ichigo!?

"No...no, no...not him, that was b-by accident, I don't want to hurt him he's my friend he's my-

Suddenly the rush was gone and searing pain spread through his body. The new wound across his torso gushed blood, his ankle ached and Renji had no doubt that he sprained it. But the pain wasn't what hurt the most, it was the hate and suffocating feeling inside his mind. Zabimaru slipped from between his fingers, clattering against the cold surface as Renji's knees met the same fate. He shook violently, eyes staring at nothing refusing to look at anything. There was a loud growl from the remaining Hollows as they approached the injured shinigami, but he didn't move. To much pain, his arms ached as he wrapped them around his bleeding torso. It hurt so damn much. A loud growl and Renji shut his eyes awaiting the final blow.

"Getsuga Tenchou!"

A powerful blast shot into the air vaporizing the remaining Hollows surrounding the area. All was left was the remaining screams from the beasts until the night fell into silence. Someone was calling his name.

"Renji!" Lifting his head weakly, he watched Rukia and Ichigo run towards him. Oh just great...

"Baka why didn't you call us for help?" Rukia's voice was loud, she was very close to him. Hi Rukia how've you been? Nice to see you too... Renji scowled, it wasn't exactly the friendliest way to greet a friend.

"Oi, looks like you took quite the beating," Ichigo grinned, a smug look on his face, "What's wrong, you can't take on those weaklings?" Normally, before all the hate and anger consumed the red heads soul he would retort back with an angry jibe of his own but instead he sat there remaining on his knees staring blankly at the orange hair shinigami brat.

Ichigo was taken back from the expressionless look, cranking his head to the side to examine his injured friend.

"Maybe they did get him good, he's not even yelling back at me," The young teenager thought, before Rukia's troubled voice broke through.

"Renji...you're covered in blood," She knelt before Renji reaching a hand out to touch his cheek. Flinching from the soft touch Renji staggered back to his feet, no matter how much his body protested, backing away from both shinigami's.

"I'm fine!" He snapped, he didn't mean to yell but he couldn't stand the sight of them together. I'm fine, I'm fine just fine. Looking back at Ichigo his tough mask slightly cracked, pain evident in his dark eyes. I wanted him to die, but I'm fine really. It was a little slip up, I don't want him to die. I don't want to kill him, I don't...I don't-

"I'm fine God dammit!" But the comment wasn't meant for Rukia for Renji was staring at Ichigo with wide eyes, snarling. Holding his hands up in defense, Ichigo took a step towards the enraged red head whispering softly.

"What's wrong Renji?" Renji choked, clutching his shoulders tightly to stop his hands from shaking from Ichigo's concern words.

"Lies, lies ,lies!" That cruel voice was back.

Rukia stood beside the Zangestu wielder, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Her and Ichigo exchanged a worried glance. Jealousy burn deep into Renji's core, the lightheadedness returned with full force the pain was too much.

Last he remembered was the light in Rukia's eyes as she sought Ichigo for answers, and he finally realized in his sweet content of confusion that his knees gave out and he slowly slipped into consciousness with one thought in mind.

I hate Ichigo...

Holy mother of God that took forever. First off, I shall beg for forgiveness as I am now attending school and work at the same time. So I had been putting this chapter off for some time now. But now, I got my groove back! Thank you for the lovely reviews.