Even as I walked into the cells of Castle Bravil, accompanied by a stern-faced guard, I recognised him. Puffy, scarred face, small bloodshot eyes. Yep, that was Sergeant, alright.

No-one knew why he was called Sergeant. He had served in many regiments across Nurn, had taken part in large amounts of the most famous battles in history, was rumoured to have stolen an Elder Scroll for money, and had battled with Kzzzgrd, a high ranking dremora general , and personal bodyguard to Mehrunes Dagon himself.

None of this altered the fact that Kzzzgrd was, in comparison to the gruesome, twisted evil that was Sergeant, a misunderstood young rascal who went around selling money which turned out to be useless paper after usage.

This was the part of the job I hated. Dealing with hardened criminals was one thing. Dealing with a man who had once rammed a toothbrush through a close friends jaw and slammed the bristles into his brain was another.

"Mr. Batcheler, I presume?" I asked tentatively.

"Tha's Thergeant to ya, detective," he replied in a strangely garbled voice. As he opened his mouth I got a quick glimpse of his tongue, a lump of gristle with a split down the middle. I shuddered. I hadn't heard the story behind that one, but could imagine one for myself all too easily.

"How- how'd you know I'm a detective?"
"You're comin' down 'ere to talk wi' me. Tha' thayth to me, either you're a pthyciatritht fra' t' Mageth Guil', or you're thummin' who'th been 'ired to fin' out where I thtuck t' Elder Thcroll."
It took me a few seconds to try and work out what he had just said. 'Psychiatrist from the Mages Guild' was giving me some problems.

"Well, Sergeant, you're right in some respects. I am being hired by the Council, and I do want to know where you put the Elder Scroll you stole. If you do that, a bail could be arranged. You could be terrorising- sorry, I meant walking the streets again by tomorrow!"
Sergeant appeared to give this some thought. "And wha' happenth if I thay 'no', Mithter Detective?"

"Then you rot, Mr. Sergeant.

"I ain' thayin' nothin' wi' tha' copper in 'ere."

I nodded to the guard, and he walked up back to his desk upstairs. I knew this would be okay, the guard was more there for my protection than the prisoners'.

"Then… alrigh', detective, wha' if I told ya tha' ou' t' back o' thi' Cathtle, in t' firtht buth to t' righ' o' t' barrackth… well, there coul' be anything thitting in thothe butheth…"
"Your co-operation is noteworthy, Sergeant."
"Thut up."
"Righto."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Outside, I wiped the sweat from my face, glad to have left that dark, claustrophobic dungeon. The man was nuts. However, he had given very good instructions. First bush to the right of the barracks…

The bush in question turned out to be a nice, large one with plenty of thorns. Bloody typical, said my brain to the rest of me.

"Oww… ow. Ow! Hooray-ow!"

The last hooray was uttered shortly after my bleeding hand closed on a hard, glass bottle. I pulled it out triumphantly, holding above my head for all to see. The cork was popped off, and the piece of paper inside unfolded in my hand.

This was it. In my hand, I held a fragment of the universe itself. A terrible item made by ancients who preceded even the Gods Themselves…

There seemed to be some commotion at the Castle. Guards were running around, grabbing weapons and shouting orders. But all this was lost on me as I looked at the scroll again. It was said a man could tell the future simply by gazing into its papery depths… but the powers would cause that man to be struck blind…

Tentatively, slowly, I unfolded the paper.

A guard screamed something at me, furiously.

Quivering with excitement, I let my eyes trail across the paper. Then I did a double-take. Then I read it again.

"Huh?"

The paper read as follows;

To whoever has tried to trick Sergeant into giving back the Scroll that is his only salvation, please be aware that he is much, much more intelligent and cunning than you think.

My face didn't even get to change expression as the guards hit me.