Sorry for the delay on this one, and that this is mostly character-introductory filler. Still, vaguely enjoyable, I hope
2.4
It's nearly May when the Leader calls us all to base and Konan tells us we're all going to be based there indefinitely because of a security leak or something. She doesn't let us go back to our old places to collect stuff, but when I go to the room she sets me all my stuff's been moved there already.
It's just one room with a bathroom, yeah. There's no skylight like there was the last few places I lived, but one of the walls is all window – tough glass you can see out of but not in. I give it the once-over with my other eye and it figures it's too strong for any of my regular bombs to even crack it. Hah. It's like a prison, yeah. Working for Akatsuki always was from the start, I guess, but having it laid out like this all physical is kind of a blow, yeah? It's not like I can't walk in and out of the base pretty much whenever, but if they want they can shut me in with no way out any time they like. Just a thought from the Leader to Zetsu and bam – Zetsu's like the base computer or something, yeah? He's not really a computer, he's mostly a guy, lives in the basement hub and he is so fucked up. Kisame says he used to be a nutcase murderer who like ate people and stuff, and he got sold to the labs cause prison was too good for him or something, so he basically got the whole shot of experimental gene-mods and cybernetic implant crap. Apparently he's the reason they don't do plant mods on people. He lives in the basement with the implant in his head wired up to the main computer, controlling base security, and he can like project his virtual consciousness to any computer connected to the internet, anywhere.
I know it probably doesn't do much, but since the couple of times I've spoken to him, I've kept the signal on my implant low. Having him talking in your head is really, really weird, yeah. I know Sasori could probably do that to me if he wanted to but at least he has the decency to message me instead.
But, I dunno. I guess I'll just have to work on something that can blast this glass through, yeah. I know I can do it. Til then the view's not bad – the Akatsuki base is pretty tall and I'm pretty high up. The floodwater's down, too, so there's cars starting to use the ground again, pushing the reflections of their headlights along the wet roads in front of them, like beams of fire. No-one's walking around on that yet – if you trip and put your hand out the ground'll still burn your hand off – but it'll be dry in a few days if the sun keeps up like it has been.
Mm. Sasori said he thought the security leak was to do with the last guy Kakuzu was working with, but then I reckon they wouldn't have hired a new guy to work with him straight away, yeah? I reckon it was just someone knew where one of us lived or something, especially considering the new guy's so ... I dunno. He's not the kind of guy like Kisame where you think if they say they're gonna stick by with you then they will as long as you hold up your end of the deal, yeah? He's the kind of guy where you reckon if he's working any gig like Akatsuki it's probably cause the Leader's got something on him, or they're making him, yeah. I dunno.
I run into him when I'm down in the kitchen. At first I was kinda expecting there to be some kind of canteen or something, yeah, but it figures Zetsu basically runs everything automatically so they don't have to hire people to operate stuff or anything. So it's just the nine of us and Zetsu's weird lackey or whatever who hangs around the basement and ... man I dunno what he even does. Fiddles with computers and wears a mask, yeah. I don't think he even needs to be there, but Zetsu likes him so I guess the Leader keeps him around so Zetsu doesn't flip a lid and stop running the system or something, yeah? Sometimes you see him upstairs and around and he's really fucking weird and tries to be everyone's friend. So I've sort of started being really careful about going into the kitchen and around and stuff 'cause Jah, if Tobi's in there you're basically like cornered the whole time you're getting your food and then even if I take it back to my room or whatever he follows me, yeah, asking dumb questions.
Except this time it's just the new guy – I haven't really seen him about much but I've heard him here and there. He's kinda loud, yeah? So I figure that's okay and go to get myself some curry. He gives me this dirty look when I'm taking it out of the cooker and I look back at him all "what", and tell him, "You know Kakuzu basically kills everyone he works with, yeah?"
He rolls his eyes – they're red, I figure they're tinted – and looks at me all bored like he's not sure whether I deserve a reply or not. Apparently I do, cause he says, "Actually yeah, no-one round here will fucking shut up about it."
I pop some curry in my mouth and look at him sideways. "What, that doesn't fuss you? 'Cause -"
He takes a swig of his orange soda and sneers at me. "Don't try to be a smartass, princess, it makes you look even dumber. Fuck, if I thought anyone in this shithole could actually kill me, I'd let them."
I raise my eyebrow, turning to look at him properly. Princess? Jah, what a dick. "Yeah? I could totally take you to pieces, yeah." I raise one hand to snap my fingers. "You wanna try it?"
"Oh yeah? Doubt it. What are you, fourteen?"
"S- Eighteen, yeah. Fuck you."
"Whatever. No thanks. Kind of flat-chested for eighteen, aren't you?"
"What." I glare at him. "Do I sound like a girl."
"Look, princess, it was either flat-chested bitch with a deep voice or total fucking faggot. I just picked the least depressing option."
"What?
"You heard me. You make a shitty woman, but you make an even shittier man." He smirks. "I was being optimistic."
I roll my eyes, scowling, reach for my pocket. Put the curry down on the counter. "What, you trying to get me to take you out? Cause I will." I roll a couple of little spheres between my fingers.
He looks at me like I'm crazy – okay, so I get that a lot, that's normal, except he doesn't look scared, and that's not. Just kinda ... I dunno, amused or something. "What the fuck, are those wincebombs? In your fucking pocket? Geez, what kind of stupid crazy freak are you?"
I grin. They are wincebombs, technically – empty gum capsules filled with crap, mostly grade six, explode if they hit something. Making stuff like this isn't actually illegal cause you can't make money off it, yeah – transporting it's stupid dangerous and anyone can do it – and they figure if you do make it, you're retarded: it's really easy to make, cheap, but it's not worth prosecuting the morons who make it cause they kinda punish themselves, yeah. But, y'know. I'm good at this stuff. Same basic structure as a wincebomb, couple of little differences that mean I can carry them around in my pocket without blowing my legs off if I bump into someone. Still a bit risky, but shit's boring when there's not any risk at all, yeah? So I just keep grinning at him, and shake my head, and tell him, "I'm not stupid, yeah."
"Could've fooled me."
He still doesn't look scared. This sort of stuff usually scares the hell of out of most people, yeah. It even makes Sasori all tense and he likes to make like nothing I do bothers him – but not this guy. It's bugging me, so I flick my wrist, let one of them go.
He doesn't move fast enough – I can tell watching him he's got kinda sluggy reflexes. It hits him in the knee and he goes down yelling curses.
"I got another one, yeah." He looks at me blood boiling in his eyes, and I grin at him wide and hold up the other bomb – and he starts laughing.
"Fuck – hahaha – fuck, you little bitch. Ha – That hurt."
That shakes me for a moment, yeah, more than it should. I mean, it's not like I haven't run into crazy bastards before, yeah? I narrow my eyes and glare down at him, lying there with his leg blown off – except it's, like – I dunno. The flesh is squirming, like it's full of something tiny and alive and he's laughing and I've seen this before but I don't know where – and while I'm staring at him, his leg's like – coming back. Regenerating or something.
I take a step back, and it clicks. Nanobots.
He pushes himself sitting up with his leg all there to the shin now, muttering. "Shit, they fucked up the knee again –"
"You've got nanobots."
He looks at me, annoyed, but smug. "Yeah, so what. You never seen 'em before?"
"What? Yeah, I have ..." A couple of times, yeah. A couple of people. Except they both died in the labs. Everyone knows what happened with that technocult back in the 80s – nobody gets nanobots cause even if you're crazy enough to want to get it done there's no-one who'll do it for you, yeah. It takes ages and it's really complicated and if you get it wrong then you're dead. And no-one ever gets it right, not even lab tech.
"Then stop looking like someone hit you in the face with a fucking rainfish and do something useful with your retarded self."
"What, like help you up? Yeah right." I wouldn't anyway, but the idea of touching a hand full of nanobots is kinda ... just ... no.
"Like get the hell out of here before I come over there and break your stupid pussy neck."
I glare at him a moment or two, but like hell I'm taking my chances with fucking nanobots. I reach over to grab my curry and eye him for a moment, and then leave. I'm not a coward, yeah? I don't reckon he could break my anything – I've got more bombs and I'd like to see his nanobots rebuild his brain – I just –
"Hi, Mr. Deidara!"
Oh fuck. Tobi. I stuff the bomb back in my pocket and glare at him, but glaring at Tobi always feels kind of pointless – like it's not getting to him through that stupid orange mask, yeah. I don't know what it's for but I pretty much don't care.
"Is that curry? What kind?"
"Uh, rabbit – look, Tobi, I'm kinda busy, yeah, I'll catch you later or something. Go bother Hidan, he's in the kitchen and I think he needs a hand with his leg, yeah." And I slam the door in his face and lock it and go to sit by the window to finish my curry – and hope like hell that Tobi does go bother Hidan, because last time this happened, when I opened the door again, he was still out there, yeah. Waiting. I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with him.