Having no plan to tell Audrey about the gift, I hid it carefully in my wardrobe. It was not because I did not trust her, but because she would probably think I am insane, or taking this whole crush thing too far, but deep down inside I knew it was innocent of both charges. No, it was because I knew what it was like to be poor and to be teased for my shabby clothes that I bought this gift for Professor Lupin. My family had been poor for a long time during my youth, and it was only six year ago that dad found a very, very well paying job. Even coming to Hogwarts was a challenge; my parents could not afford it, and the only reason I made it here was because Uncle Graham insisted on paying all my fees until my parents could afford it themselves. His help had meant the world for me, and though my gift is no where near as special, I hope it will mean something to the Professor.
Once satisfied that the gifts were well hidden, I made my way to the almost empty common room, and hit the books. Figuratively speaking, of course, though the literal alternative was looking quite tempting by the time I had started on Snapes essay ("Discuss the essential properties of different potions that can be used to control, treat or kill vampires".) If it weren't for the fact that he often used garlic in class, I would have said the man was a vampire himself.
About an hour before dinner time, students started returning to the common, and, consequently, I was finding it harder than ever to concentrate. Then, when Audrey finally arrived in the common room, all pretence of study was abandoned.
Audrey sunk deep into the armchair besides me, smiling broadly, her checks rose-red from the cold.
"What a day," she sighed.
"Someone had a good time, it seems," I commented happily.
Audrey nodded and smiled reminiscently.
"Well?" I demanded, "Don't keep me in suspense! How was the date?"
"Great, Fay, it was just great. Would you believe Oliver can be quite the gentleman when the time calls?"
"Well," I said, smiling cheekily, "I have been known to believe some rather absurd things…"
Audrey punched me playfully on the arm, her eyes sparkling excitedly.
"No, seriously, for a guy so into Quidditch, he really is a gentleman, he paid for my drink and food, opened doors for me, and carried all my stuff!" she said, indicating to the plastic bags at her side. She leaned forward and opened a bright blue one, and pulled out a single red rose. But it was not just any rose. It was a real rose, though slightly transparent, and was coated with a layer of very thin, flexible and glossy glass. It was known as greeglass, a nature preservative for plants, and very expensive.
I let out a long whistle, "He bought that for you?"
"Yeh," she replied, admiring the rose, "Isn't it gorgeous?"
I nodded, "So, Oliver really knows his stuff, huh?"
"He does… things are going really good between us."
"That's excellent," I said, and even though I meant it with all my heart, I could not help but feel a slight pang of longing. No guy had ever done anything so nice for me.
- - -
Friday evening. Destination: owlery. Yes, that's right. Valentines Day is here, and I have three hours to slip Professor Lupin his gift. Slipping out of the common room unquestioned was the easy part; Audrey was busy 'celebrating' Valentines Day so I did not have to offer her some excuse, and I avoided any curious stares by putting an undetectable expanding charm on my backpack and hiding the gift in there.
The owlery was deserted when I arrived, except, of course, for the hundred or so owls. I quickly found a strong looking school owl and tied the package and note to its leg. It was a simple letter that said:
An old saying goes: Love for others what you love for yourself.
Enclosed is what I like for myself, so I hope that you will like it too.
Happy Valentines Day, Professor.
Of course, I did not right it myself. That would have been a dead give away, seeing as how he marks my work about once a week. Instead I used the same charm that girl used to write on my forehead; it was a little messy but at least it did not look like my hand writing.
"I need you to leave the owlery now, but don't deliver the package until an hour from now, okay?" I said to the owl (even though I have been using owls for seven years now, I still feel foolish giving them instructions in English).
It hooted agreeably and flew out of the owlery. Call me paranoid, but it would definitely look suspicious if Professor Lupin receives the package two minutes after I was sighted at the owlery.
- - -
At five to eight that evening, I found myself standing outside Professor Lupins office, knocking. I was excited. It had been an hour since the owl delivered the package, and question after question was rushing through my mind; will he be offended? Will he like the gift? Is it his taste in clothing? Will he be too embarrassed to admit to receiving clothes on Valentines Day from a student? Was he wearing them already? Well, there was only one way to find out…
"Come in," called Professor Lupin from inside the office.
I entered the room in what I hoped was a casual way, and closed the door behind me. Then, when I turned around to face the inside of the office, what I saw made my eyes open very wide indeed.
"Good evening, Miss Goodwill," said a beaming Professor Dumbledore. He stood next to a rather bemused looking Professor Lupin, who, in turn, stood by his desk, which was covered with what appeared to be letters, cards and presents, many of them suspiciously pink…
"G-good evening, Professor," I stumered (Hey, it wasn't every day that Dumbledore himself speaks to you directly).
My eyes quickly found their way back to the desk. Valentines Day cards! Were these all for Professor Lupin? My own package was hard to miss amongst the rest; it was easily the largest. A few of the clothing items were hanging out of the bag. I felt a slightly annoyed – how could I have not realised that other students might send him something too? But, on the bright side, at least now my gift is less suspicious.
I heard Professor Dumbledore chuckle, and turned to look at him.
"I see you've notice our little issue here," he said, indicating at the gifts.
"Valentines Day gifts. If I'm not mistaken," I said, trying to act amused rather than guilty, "Though I don't see why that is an issue?"
Professor Lupin cleared his throat, "It is an issue," he said, looking slightly embarrassed and totally bewildered, "because most of the gifts appear to be from students."
I forcibly bit back a grin. I loved when he looked so confused. It made me want to ruffle his hair.
"How do you know they are from students, Professor?" I asked innocently.
"Well, most of them are signed, and most of the ones that aren't were delivered by school owls."
Some girls actually signed them? Wow, talk about no shame…
"Well, Remus," said Professor Dumbledore, "I see no reason why you should not accept the gifts. There has been no breach of any laws that I know off."
"But I'm a teacher!" Professor Lupin protested, "I shouldn't be receiving these kinds of gifts and letters from students."
"No, I must say it is a rather recent phenomenon," he replied, "Our last years DADA Professor also received a large number of Valentines Day cards, though I must say I think you've broken his record."
He paused to look through a couple of cards, one of them seemed to amuse him, and he read it out loud, "Dear Professor Lupin, I've never enjoyed DADA much until this year. You have made it my favourite subject, but I must admit I find it hard to concentrate in class sometimes, especially on days when your hair is dishevelled (I noticed it tends to be that way one windy days). Don't get me wrong – it looks great, but it is hurting my marks, so could you please try to keep it tidy? Happy Valentines day!"
Professor Lupin blushed at this, and his hand automatically reached for his hair, flattening it down. Professor Dumbledore chuckled and I fought to stifle a giggle. I did not have to fight for long though; my laughter died away immediately when Professor Dumbledore's hands reached out for my package.
"But what is this?" he said, sounding impressed as he looked through the clothing, "Very thoughtful… was this package signed?"
Professor Lupin shook his head, "No."
"Have you tried them on yet?"
"Of course not, I didn't think it appropriate for me –"
"Nonsense!" said Professor Dumbledore, cutting him off, "Allow me."
Before he could protest, the headmaster waved his wand and a moment later Professor Lupin stood by his desk, looking very handsome in the clothes I had bought him.
Professor Dumbledore had forced him into a midnight black robe with a thin silver lining along the edges. It was simple but elegant. It was hanging open, so that his clothes underneath were visible, and I saw that he was wearing the dark grey jumper and trousers. The effect it had on him was amazing; seeing him in new clothes easily took a few years off him. Man, did I have good taste or what.
Professor Dumbledore beamed as Professor Lupin examined his new outfit. I held my breath waiting for any sign of approvable.
"Comfortable," he muttered, finally.
I breathed again. He liked it.
"Very well," said Professor Dumbledore, "Now that we've sorted that out, I must be getting back to my office. Enjoy your evening."
He shook hands with Professor Lupin, nodded in my direction, and left the office.
"Well, I suppose we should get going, then," Professor Lupin said awkwardly. I could tell he was nervous about leaving his office in his new outfit, but since it was after curfew, he was unlikely to run into anyone. Or so I thought.
"I'm assuming there will be a number of students out of bed tonight," he said as we walked towards the charms corridor.
"Really?" I asked, surprised, "How come?"
"Valentines Day tradition," he said simply, "Well, at least it was when I was a prefect…"
"Ah," I said, smirking, "I see."
As we started out rounds, I wondered vaguely whether he ever snuck out of the common room on Valentines Day when he was a student. It was likely; he did have a girlfriend after all.
The evening started out quietly enough; it was not until we were half way through checking the transfiguration corridor that something unusual happened.
It happened when I reached out my hand to open the door of a classroom what was no longer used; a sudden, sharp burning sensation rushed through my whole body, causing me gasp in pain and fall to the floor, flat on my back. And then, as suddenly as it came, it was gone.
"Faylinn!" cried Professor Lupin, "Are you okay?"
He leaned down next to me, his face lined with concern.
"I- I'm fine" I said. It was true for the most part, but as I tried to stand up, I found that myself feeling extremely weak. I managed to support myself for a moment, but then my knees buckled, and I was overcome by dizziness, my vision faded slightly and I felt myself falling again. I braced for the impact, but it didn't come. Instead, I felt something grab me around the waist and hold me up straight. I found myself leaning against something very solid, something that stopped me from falling.
I closed me eyes, waiting for the dizziness to pass. Slowly, my legs regained their strength and my mind cleared. I noticed I was leaning against something very warm. I opened my eyes, and what I saw almost made my knees buckle again.
I was leaning against Professor Lupin's chest, and he was holding me around the waist, to stop me from falling. I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks as I carefully pulled myself away from him, so that I was standing without his support, but he kept a firm grip on my arm.
"Are you okay?" he asked again.
I nodded slowly. My brain felt like it was overloading with information; the burning sensation, the fall, the dizziness, the leaning against his chest.
"What h-happened?" I stumered, hoping he did not notice how embarrassed I was.
"I don't know – I didn't see anything," he said hurriedly, "Did you see anything?"
"No," I said. The seriousness of the situation slowly dawning on me, "No, I just felt a – burning sensation through my body. It made me fall… but it went away quickly."
Professor Lupin stiffened suddenly, and quickly looked up and down the corridor. I followed his gaze. Did he think I was attacked? Apparently, yes, because the next moment, he pulled me towards the wall, let go of my arm and stood directly in front of me, shielding me defensively with his body. He raised his wand hand and said firmly, "homenumrevelio".
At first nothing happened, then there was a load thud and looking to my left, I saw two figures fall to the floor from behind a large suit of armour, some ten metres away. It was Draco Malfoy, and a third year girl I knew was called Pansy Parkinson who was too arrogant for her own good.
Professor Lupin turned to me, looking very annoyed, and asked, "Will you be able to stand on your own?"
"I'm fine Professor," I replied hastily. I was not about to show any weakness in front of the two Slytherins who had presumably just hexed me.
Professor Lupin nodded and turned towards the Slytherins, who were now getting to their feet and wearing almost identical smirks.
"Did one of you hexed Faylinn?" he asked, his voice uncharacteristically stern.
Malfoy straightened up haughtily and said, "I did."
I frowned, annoyed at what he had done and angry that he dared to speak to Professor Lupin so disrespectfully; even Slytherins generally spoke to teachers with respect.
"Two detentions, Draco, for attacking a student and breaking curfew, and a detention for you too, Pansy, for breaking curfew. And forty points Slytherin. Now, off to bed."
Both students frowned at this (Honestly, what else did they expect?) and walked off, though not without a final insult. Pansy sneered at Professor Lupin's outfit and as she walked past me she said in a low voice that would not reach the Professors ears, "Getting desperate, aren't you Goodwill? What, no one younger would have you?"
I glared back at her defiantly and rolled my eyes, but, truth be told, her words cut like a knife. A loser seventh year lusting over her handsome Professor, never even had a real boyfriend. Yeh, that's me.
I leaned back glumly against the wall as she turned the corner, her words still ringing in my ears. No one younger would have you?
"Who needs young, anyway?" I muttered bitterly.
"Sorry?" asked Professor Lupin, as appeared ay my side again.
I started, having forgotten he was there.
"Nothing, Professor," I said quickly. I looked at him for a moment and smiled. I couldn't help it – it was amazing what the new clothes had done for him, "Shall we continue the patrol then?"
He considered me uncertainly for a moment.
"Are you sure you wouldn't rather go back to Gryffindor tower? I can finish off by myself," he offered.
I stood up straight, moving away from the wall. And miss the time I can spend alone with you? I thought. I think not!
"Of course not, I feel fine Professor."
"Okay, but if you feel tired just let me know, I won't mind," he said.
We spent the next ten minutes completing the transfiguration corridors. Again, I waited for Professor Lupin to check the hidden passage alone, and then we head off to patrol the corridors. Now that I did not have anything to distract me, my thoughts wondered back to Parkinson's snide remark. The girl was just being her usually stupid self, I was sure of it, but she hit a nerve. Sure, I'd been on a date or two, but they had always ended badly. What if no one ever took interest in me? Then what? Would I just become some aging lonely woman living all alone in rental apartment, putting everything into my career because I have nothing waiting for me at home? Or what if I never took interest in anyone? Someone realistic, that is… someone I would actually stand a chance with? No husband, no children… I sighed softly, shaking my head as thought to dislodge the thoughts. Maybe I'm just being pessimistic. There's still plenty of men out there, out side the castle walls.
"Is something bothering you, Faylinn?" asked Professor Lupin, his voice shattering my thoughts.
I looked up at him and saw that he as watching me, he looked slightly concerned.
"I, uh, it's nothing. Nothing important," I stuttered quickly.
"You're sure?" he asked, smiling softly, "I would say that the frown you were wearing was a little too big for nothing important."
I smiled back, "No, I guess it wasn't nothing… well, you wouldn't understand anyway…"
"No?" he replied, "Well, I must say I do like a challenge. Who knows? I might even understand more than you do. Try me."
I chuckled softly. It would be a pretty embarrassing issue to pursue with a teacher, especially one as handsome and wonderful as him. Would he understand? I considered him for a moment and it hit me quickly. He was single too, and he was way older than me.
"You're right," I said suddenly, without thinking, "You would understand."
He looked a little taken-aback, and said, "Really?"
"Yeh, well," I stared, and then blushed slightly as I added, "I mean, you're single, aren't you?"
What ever Professor Lupin had been expecting, that certainly was not it. He looked startled for a moment and then admitted, "Yes, I am."
"But why?" I asked, frowning. It did not make sense – he must have had at least twenty different Valentines Day cards on his desk. If students had crushes on him, surely the older women would be head over heels too?
He cleared his throat and looked very uncomfortable when he said, "Personal circumstances. At any rate, I thought this was meant to be about you? Surely what ever is bothering you has little to do with my own status."
Personal circumstances? Could that possible have something to do with being poor, dangerous (though that option seemed to have died out with You-Know-Who) and for some reason not interested in having children? I really wanted to ask, but knew it would be getting too personal.
"I guess, I was just thinking that, you know, I'm getting older. Half my year level will probably be getting married in a year or so, I've never even been in a serious relationship…" I paused, thinking he must think I sound like a rambling lunatic, "It's nothing important, I guess. I'm just, being silly."
To my surprise, Professor Lupin shook his head and said, "It isn't silly. I think at your age it is a valid concern. I suppose it makes you worry when you see so many of your friends in steady relationships?"
I nodded, "Yeh, something like that…"
"Don't worry about it too much. It's likely that many of those couples will break apart and not end up in marriage at all."
He paused for a moment, and I was certain that he was thinking about himself and Rose.
"It is tradition for wizards and witches to marry soon after graduating from Hogwarts, and for the most part that is what happens, but you will find that many people aren't that fortunate. It is not uncommon for people to wed in their mid- to late-twenties. And anyway, statistically speaking, most people don't meet their future spouse at Hogwarts, or if they do, they don't date until they have graduated"
"Really?" I asked. In truth, I felt more than just a little relieved, "Wow, you've taken a lot off my shoulders, Professor. Thanks."
"You're welcome," he said, smiling sincerely.
We continued our patrol, and I watched him with marvel. It was amazing what he could do with a few well chosen words. I knew this was probably not very good for my crush, but the man really is incredible.