Chapter 5

Alec tried to sleep but for some reason it just kept evading him. He tossed and turned for a good hour and in the end stopped trying. He just couldn't understand why sleep was so far beyond his reach. Finally giving up he threw the covers aside and jumped out of her bed. Pacing the small room for a few minutes he eventually walked out and headed to the kitchen. He looked around for something to eat but didn't really find anything that intrigued or called out to him. He was actually slightly surprised O.C. and Max didn't even own a TV, well that just put a damper on his plans.

Chewing his thumbnail in thought he paced again and came to a decision. Heading back to the bedroom he headed to her dresser and pulled out some fresh clothes. New jeans and a dark blue tank top, he lingered momentary looking at her bras and chuckled. Guess he should probably act like a real woman and dress accordingly. I'm going to need years of therapy. He grabbed a bra with some fresh underwear and headed out the door.

Walking back to his own apartment since he left his Duke there, he quietly pondered his predicament. Using stealth and just plain old Manticore creeping tactics he unlocked his apartment door and quietly made his way to his living room. He looked back to his bedroom where he could see Max or in reality his own sleeping form in his bed and was strangely surprised that they both took to their new lives a lot better than he expected. Especially Max who was now sleeping soundly her breathing calm and even. Itching to crawl into his own bed and back to his normal life, he closed his fist in frustration and closed the door as to not disturb her.

Taking the chance he headed towards his washroom. Sadly he had also noticed that there wasn't a shower in Max's apartment. Pursing his lip with indecision and wrestling with the moral dilemma of taking the stupid shower or not, he decided he would. So he slowly undressed peeling off her clothes and well he was a guy after all what was wrong with stealing a peek? She's going to kill me.

It's wasn't like he never saw a woman before, besides being a soldier you weren't given the luxury of privacy in showers. Still this was Max and he still felt slightly self conscious about crossing that boundary but he had to face reality. Like this is what reality should be like, stuck in her body. Like everyone else he liked being clean and let's face it she would eventually have the same need. With that thought, he groaned, he knew she would get a good look too. Truly it was not the way he wanted it.

Turning on the shower he jumped in letting the warm water cascade over his body and started to wash himself. Not really wanting to think about what he was truly doing he tried diverting his thoughts to other things but without any success. All he could think about was how intimate this whole act had become. He was truly and shamelessly washing her body; running his hands over every inch of her soft caramel skin. The entire time the same thoughts played over in his head, if just once he could be able to do the same thing only instead of being her he would be accompanying her.

Being at Manticore the better part of his life this was something that had always been frowned upon. The entire concept of emotional closeness, intimate acts and just plain fraternization had been something completely alien to him until she freed him.

She had given him a taste of what life could really be and somewhere along the way he had to come to terms with one of those emotions. He had fallen for her. Knowing full well what the consequences of those feelings would be.

For a long time, he had tried to push them away, but failed miserably. He just kept feeling this unquenchable need to be around her and protect her. Cindy was right, when they actually stopped cursing and beating on each other and became civil with one another, they were perfect.

He remembered the day he had come to the sad realization. He had pushed Asha away because he couldn't pretend anymore. Then he tried to tell her as honestly as he could. She had stared him down with those unforgiving eyes and berated him for not minding his own business about her and Logan. Missing the entire point, not really listening to what he was getting at.

His usual casualness had fleeted to something completely different. Explaining it in terms Max would understand, his reply had been "we don't belong with them. We're a danger to them." Somehow it had played out differently in his mind. Trying to appeal to her noble heroic side and common sense but she just dismissed him like she usually did.

Melancholically, he finished his shower and stepped out to dry off. It took him a while to get the concept of the bra. All he kept managing was a crazy chuckle. So much easier to take off then put on. He managed to get dressed and brushed her long brown hair giving it a go at braiding. Giving up because he simply just couldn't get the plaiting right he just tied her hair in a ponytail instead.

Stepping out of the steam filled room he glanced into his bedroom again and his sleeping form hadn't moved. Half expecting her to have woken by now due to having sensitive hearing and correlating senses. He was surprised she was still asleep. It was nice to know someone was actually managing to get any rest at all. Closing the door again he concluded he probably just couldn't find sleep because he had too much on his mind.

Slightly upset at the way it had played out in the end he left Crash hoping he would be able to brush the spiteful glare she threw at him using his own eyes. Unfortunately it had grown into anger. Anger he simply couldn't work out because of this stupid situation he found himself in. Not being able to find the simple comforts he usually relied on, wasn't helping either. He enjoyed his solitude. He wanted his own apartment for starters, just to have the freedom to think or even indulge in TV to keep his mind off of his problems.

Looking through his cupboards, he grabbed a bag of pork rinds and a soda from the fridge. Sitting on the couch, he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. Flipping through the channels he finally found a movie he enjoyed 'Terminator 2'. Lying down the entire length of the sofa he made himself comfortable. Almost instantly he forgot the earlier events, he watched completely engrossed in the movie. He never noticed her standing behind him quietly watching him.

Upon entering his apartment Max had felt a small sadness being alone. Eventually the feeling had dissipated and she came to enjoy being by herself. Kind of like she did on the Space Needle almost envying Alec his solitude. She took a shower cursing the entire time about having to wash his body and then almost against her will had admired his body in awe.

No matter how hard she tried she just kept glancing at the hardened muscles and his well toned body; he was almost too perfect. Trying to pry her mind away from what she had actually done she had found herself watching his boob tube as he liked to call it. She never found much appeal to it even at work. She barely watched it except if there was something pertaining to transgenics or if there was an Eyes Only hack in progress. She had to admit it kept her mind busy.

She had ultimately fallen asleep on the couch. Waking up from the short nap, she had dragged herself into his bed. Cursing the simple fact that it was his bed she had to sleep in and his smell was everywhere. Never giving it much thought she didn't realize she was cursing from habit but in the deep recesses of her mind she found it comforting. Her brain had associated the scent with a feeling of security and familiarity. In a state of catatonia she had laid her head gently on his pillow and fallen peacefully asleep.

Hazily her ears caught a small sound and her body automatically went into alert mode. Getting up out of bed she focused on the darkened room and noticed the bedroom door was closed. Looking beneath it she could see flickering lights, indication that someone was in fact there. If they wanted her harm they wouldn't have bothered closing the door. So it was with curiosity that she soundlessly opened it and walked out of the room.

She intriguingly observed as Alec watched the TV, eating and drinking, completely oblivious to her watching him. Deep down she felt a small amount of guilt for the way he left earlier and now as she looked at her form laying on the couch she felt a strange feeling coursing through his body. It was that longing sensation again. The same one she had gotten from his first memory. She still didn't understand the reaction though. It was simply there every time she looked at herself. She figured it was probably due to her wanting to be in her body so badly.

He was slowly licking her fingers and that feeling of desire rushed up to meet her again. Sighing inwardly at the new emotions that came with this body, she decided she couldn't possibly watch him the entire night. She would try and deal with one of them; her guilt. Besides, wasn't it he that told her just that morning that she shouldn't feel guilt over things she couldn't help? Lesson learned. Alec 2 Max 0

Approaching slowly she dragged her feet as to announce her presence. Quickly he turned his head towards the noise. Brown eyes simply looked at her with a detached expression.

She was wearing his red sweats and gray t-shirt. Almost instantly he was preoccupied with the TV again.

Still upset over what had happened earlier, Alec tried pretending she wasn't there to avoid any heated arguments he knew would just end badly. Wasn't it always that way with them? He usually tried to say something to get his point across and she would brush it off acting completely superior. Then they would fight and walk away without really resolving anything.

Figuring silence would be his best option, he watched the TV entranced with the action sequence of the Terminator chasing John Connor on his dirt bike. Actually he yearned to be out on his own bike just tearing it up out of frustration.

Walking to the end of the sofa she stood at his feet and indicated for him to move his legs. He relented but kept his attention on the small screen. His eyes gave off that strange glow from the reflection of the TV.

Observing the screen momentarily, she concluded he was watching an action movie. In his bigger form she tried to bring up her legs and crossed her arms over them. Leaning her chin on her knees, she turned her head to watch him. She really didn't know how she would start but she knew she had to try.

A small amount of anxiousness took her, because deep down she knew he was upset. Opening her mouth she closed it quickly, uncertain of what she would really say to him. Obviously he would have said something to her by now if he wasn't mad.

Usually she was the one angry or annoyed with him and it never fazed her that much, but now that the tables were turned she couldn't help but want to fix things. She kept trying to tell herself she really didn't care but that feeling in the pit of her stomach just wouldn't let her drop it. Was this because she was trapped in his body and again felt residual emotions from him? She was so confused.

"So are we going to ignore each other all night?" she finally asked and he turned to look at her with a look of indifference, the light reflecting cold brown eyes.

"Fine with me," he said vindictively and looked back to the TV. Hating what he was doing he tried reminding himself that he was angry with her.

Eating a couple more chips he took a drink of his soda. Then he meticulously licked his fingers obviously avoiding her and she sighed. "If you're not going to talk to me, what are you doing here then?" she looked at him questioningly.

Sucking on his bottom lip slowly, he raised his eyebrow at her. "I live here." he said simply not wanting to throw in the fact that again she found something to bitch about.

"Well not for the moment you don't. How are we supposed to pull this off if you're always here?" she wondered knowing it was a stupid statement but she felt the need to fill the silence.

Rolling his eyes at her comment, he bit the inside of his cheek and tried to keep the retort from coming forth. Feeling his own face staring back at him he eventually turned to look at her with an expression of frustration on her face. "It's the middle of the night Max," he said as if educating her on the facts of life. "Everyone's asleep," he reminded as if she had forgotten. "Besides contrary to what you may think they really wouldn't think it weird that you would be here. I'm supposed to be your main squeeze remember?" he gave her a smile that held absolutely no warmth and she swallowed. He sure as hell couldn't forget.

There was an uncomfortable silence and he added. "It really wouldn't kill you to be seen with me, or me with you or whatever," he waved between them indicating their bodies. "I don't even know anymore."

She watched him impassively and he looked back again and visibly sighed as if surrendering. "I can't sleep and well you and O.C. don't even have a TV," he finished lamely, finally explaining his reason for being there. Only now he was unsure if it had been reason enough to leave in the first place.

So she got him to talk at least it had only taken a bit of prodding so he couldn't be that pissed after all. More than anything he just sounded depressed she concluded. Eating a few chips he stopped. Her face looked back at her with round waiting eyes. She then realized she had been staring at him lost in thought.

"What did I do now?" he asked defensively. "Am I breathing too loud for you? Crunching bothering you?" he quipped in exasperation rising from the couch. Her body conveyed irritation.

Confusion marred his face as she turned to watch her small form walk towards the fridge. "What is wrong with you?" she asked not used to seeing this side of him. He was bitter and annoyed where he should have been mischievous and sarcastic. Something that regularly annoyed her no end but now strangely found lacking and missed terribly.

She noticed that her brown hair was wet and her eyebrows rose in surprise. "You took a shower?" she accused in shock straying from the topic of conversation without meaning to.

Chuckling and shrugging, he grabbed another soda completely unbothered by the sound of his own shrill voice. "Ugh yeah, something else you ladies lack." He cracked open the can with a hiss. Raising both eyebrows he looked back at her shocked expression. "I'm sorry did I need your permission?" his voice was heavily laced with sarcasm this time.

She was suddenly caught off guard by his question. Unsure what to say she retorted with a small, "no." What could she really say? She had taken her own shower. The image suddenly popped in her head and she blushed. Grow up he's like every other man. Only she had discovered he really wasn't and blushed a little more. The fact that he had probably gotten a real good look at her added to the sentiment and made her want to cringe.

Noticing the blush of his face, he almost grinned. So she's embarrassed. "Good because seeing as we're both adults I don't see why it should bother you. Besides you got the better end of that deal," he winked playfully. Some of his sarcasm returned only it disappeared almost immediately.

She almost smiled but quickly tried to steer the subject back to what she had wanted to know if the first place. "This is about earlier tonight isn't it?" she questioned knowing full well it was. "I…"

"Drop it Max," pouty lips cut her off so abruptly and with such a commanding presence she was fascinated by his change in attitude.

He was clearly not in the mood for her accusations or self-righteous comments. He simply added softly, "I'm not here to argue."

She recovered and insisted angrily not really knowing what spurned her, "no, it's your problem and your responsibility." Was it the fact that she actually did enjoy the incessant fighting? That she actually yearned and felt the need to constantly battle things out with him. Or that when they were fighting she felt this strange sense of being alive something she never managed to feel with anyone else but him? So she continued. He needed to deal with the issue and stop being childish.

"You purposely lead all those women on don't you? It's a game to you and you don't really care about them you only care about yourself." She countered with the statement aggravated that he tried to brush it off so easily, as if it didn't matter.

The can of soda forgotten in his hand he scrunched his nose in disbelief and his mouth opened slightly at what he heard. Was she purposely goading him? She knew full well that wasn't his fault, or did she? He was near to seeing red but tried to contain his fury. "Right…" he drawled slowly and set down his can of soda before he crushed it.

"In case you didn't notice Max that was you in my skin and not the other way around. I didn't even do anything but of course there you are always ready to blame me!" Brown eyes stared back at her with a glint of anger swimming in them.

"What's new Alec I'm always cleaning up your messes," she shot out.

"You're not going to start this!" he pointed and made a cutting motion as if trying to stop the argument before it got any further. "Hell Max, I'm tired of being your reason!" Approaching the couch he glared up at her, a dark look in her eyes.

"My reason?" she asked almost confused and was now very close to her own face staring up at her. If she didn't know any better, they would be coming to blows any moment. Was that what she wanted?

"The reason everything goes wrong in your life and now this?!" he said with incredulity throwing up his arms not really believing what they were arguing about.

Pacing he stopped and pointed in her direction "I'm tired of this… of being the bad guy with you." Using her vocal chords his voice had risen to a higher octave. The tightness he felt from her restlessness had somehow gotten close to reaching its peak. This is ridiculous I'm defending myself because a few women hit on me; well her.

"I don't blame you for everything..." surprised at his outburst she watched him pacing.

"And why the hell are you so pissed about it anyway?!" Stopping his pacing he stared at her again. He just couldn't understand where this topic had sprung from and why it bothered her so much. It wasn't like she ever really gave a shit about him anyway.

"Even if I did lead them on which I didn't." He lowered his voice to a hiss, "it really wouldn't be any of your business." Then something came to him and he grinned maliciously. "Tell me the truth now Maxie, you really pissed because a few women hit on me tonight and you happened to be stuck dealing with them?" he was grinning wryly now. "Or is the real reason that deep down you're just jealous?"

His green eyes rounded and a look of fury crossed his face, it even went a dark shade of red. "Jealous? Me? My ass!" she shrieked.

"Well technically it's my ass." He was smirking now because he got the reaction he was expecting. If she was so hell bent on getting his anger boiling he would get his own turn at pissing her off.

"Oh just shut up!" she retorted finding no words to counter his comment. Turning on her heel she walked back into his bedroom. "Please, like I'd ever be jealous of your sorry ass."

Following behind her he entered his room and faced her in the dark. "Oh give it up Max. I don't see you coming down this hard on Sketch and he's just as bad as I ever was!" She noticed the past tense and rolled her eyes. Like he'd ever change.

"Sketchy is just an idiot" she snapped dryly, "and…"

"And what?" he roared and waited. The glow from the TV in the other room was the only source of light but it was enough. His eyes saw the change in her expression go from anger to uncertainty.

"I don't have to listen to this," she cut the conversation abruptly and tried to make her way to his door.

Putting his hand he blocked her way out and glared at her. "Too bad," he challenged her.

"Alec let me pass," she hissed warningly.

"No, not until you listen to what I have to say," he pressed his lips tightly at the look of smoldering anger on the face examining him.

"Listen good because I'm only going to tell you this once. Those women they don't mean anything to me." You do, his head screamed at him.

"It's not some sick game you think I play with them, or because you think I lead them on. Hell I wouldn't even know they were there until they decide to come on to me!"

It's you I care about, the words wanted to tumble passed his lips but he held back. He wanted to tell her only it would be in vain and fall on deaf ears.

"Sure I had my moments but that's changed and you're…" in his emotional state he started to tell her how he truly felt, even against his better judgment. The lack of interest on his face changed his mind and he stopped.

"You know what? This is stupid. I don't even know why I'm defending myself to you. Like you ever gave a shit in the first place, you're just pissed because you can't control me." He turned his back making the exit instead of her.

"There you go again, running off!" she called after him not really knowing why. She hated being the one brushed off.

Stopping in his track he turned around again and cocked his head slightly. "It doesn't matter what I say Max because you've already got your mind made up about me. I'm just a jerk and a screw-up right? Now you can just add male-slut to your list," his eyes were shining brightly now.

"Well if the shoe fits!" she said too fast to notice the screeching alarm in her head. Even in the dark the look of hurt that crossed her face would forever burn in her mind. Her heart wrenched at the five little words that had fallen from her lips in anger. Realizing she had deeply hurt him.

He simply tightened his lips and nodded his head once in acquiescence to what she just said, knowing that deep down he was right. He tried to slip the blank mask to cover the wounded look he knew without a doubt was staring back at her but it came too late. He turned around and headed out of the bedroom. Without turning he whispered, "someday you'll open your eyes."

Glaring at the back of his head she slammed the door shut with a loud frustrating, "UGH!" Throwing herself on his bed she buried her head in his pillow. Not really knowing why it was affecting her so much that they just argued and he was the one to walk away.

They always bickered over the smallest thing it defined their relationship. Only now somehow she knew she went too far and he probably would never forgive her. All she wanted was her body and her insane life back to normal. She couldn't care less what he thought or what he did with his life. Why does it bother me so much?

Turning around in his bed she cursed the fact that she couldn't stop thinking about him and his stupid comment. Jealous? Me? Yeah right. It's his fault. Staring at the ceiling she finally heard the door slam in the next room as he left. She gave a deep sigh and unconsciously inhaled his scent. Closing her eyes she released the confined tears she hadn't realized were there.

Walking the streets of Seattle, Alec tried to get his mind off their stupid fight but nothing seemed to work. Hearing what she thought of him hurt. More than he ever thought possible. Eventually he made his way to Terminal City. At least he knew people there would keep him company without yelling at him over things he really couldn't control.

He made his way through their makeshift observation room and noticed Dix watching a set of TVs completely engrossed not showing any signs that he noticed his presence.

"Hey Max," he finally heard the mutant's voice and Alec turned around to see if she had followed him and then remembered he was her. Really got to get used to that.

Nodding in Dix's direction he gave him a smile and sat beside him quietly watching the screens. "So what's up buddy?" he asked half-heartedly and bit his lip at his mistake.

The monocular clad transhuman simply looked at Max as if nothing was out of the ordinary. "Nothing going on tonight it's been pretty quiet."

"That's good," he quickly replied and tried to concentrate on the screens. A familiar hand touched his shoulder and he turned around to see Joshua staring down at him.

"Hi little fella," he grinned broadly.

Alec rose from his chair to face him, well at least he tried it was so much easier in his own body. He genuinely smiled at his soft spoken friend's presence, "hey big fella."

Joshua leaned in and took Alec in a firm hug practically lifting him up off the ground and he braced himself for the rib cracking embrace. Great.

Dropping her small form to the ground Joshua backed up and took one look at Max's facial expression and something seemed a little off, "Max feeling ok?" Joshua wasted no time with introductions and bluntly got right down to the point he was simply and characteristically innocent in all aspects of the word not to mention incredibly intuitive.

He started to walk away from the console and Dix, hoping Joshua would follow him. "Sure Josh what makes you think I wouldn't be?" Trying to keep a happy smile on his face he was truly curious how Joshua always seemed to read people so well. He hadn't even been there for more than five minutes.

"Well little fella looks sad," he said plainly and to the point, "eyes different."

Trust Joshua to be the only person in the word who would be able to make the distinction between him and Max. Not to mention how shitty he felt at the moment only added to his gaze.

"I'm good Josh. I'm just a little tired and no matter how hard I try I can't sleep," he admitted trying not to think of what was really bothering him. He wasn't lying he wasn't used to spending entire nights awake and still couldn't understand why sleep was so hard to find.

"Shark in your cocktail," Joshua grinned making a joke to who he thought was Max and Alec groaned as the light went of. Of course, stupid, stupid, stupid.

She had probably mentioned it once or twice and he probably wasn't paying attention. Now he was experiencing it first hand and was kicking himself in the ass. Her body may have been used to small amounts of sleep but he wasn't. No wonder he was feeling tired and exasperated. "Yeah you got me, shark," he grinned weakly. Joshua looked away momentarily and Alec rolled his eyes and sighed at his ignorance.

"Still look sad," Joshua persisted looking back at him and Alec tried to smile to avoid the conversation he knew would undoubtedly start. "It's nothing buddy just forget about it."

Joshua finally sat at a table with two chairs and invited Max to sit down. Looking at her curiously, he lowered his eyes and smiled. "Been with Alec too long," he stated after a moment and Alec blinked stupidly. "What do you mean?" he inquired curiously sitting down to face his canine friend.

"You're like Alec," he grinned, "talk like Alec."

Alec could only chuckle at his slip and smiled at his friend's observation. If you only knew. "Well I spend a lot of time with him," he said in explanation.

"Max and Alec together a lot," he confirmed the statement with a shy smile. Alec almost groaned at the reminder but kept his mouth shut, he wouldn't be spending much time with her now that was for sure.

"Everything okay with Alec?" Joshua continued undeterred from his goal to find out what was wrong with her.

"Yeah everything is just peachy," he replied sarcastically letting the comment slip before he caught himself.

"So, Alec problem then?" Joshua's eyes drilled into her brown eyes waiting for a confession. "What he do now?" he asked honestly because he was used to their bickering and Max finding blame on him for the littlest thing.

Alec could only laugh at the statement from Josh, even he used the 'characteristic blame it on Alec routine' and no matter where he went he ended up having to hear it. He was just so sick and tired of it all and rubbed his eyes in overwhelming sadness.

Sighing deeply he looked at his shaggy haired friend and decided to try and get it off his chest as best as he could. He had to really concentrate on his use of words as to not slip up and make any stupid mistakes. He tried to come up with a liable story but it just wouldn't make sense.

"I don't even know how to explain this to you," he said truthfully. No matter how he put it, he still didn't understand Max's outburst and there really wasn't any point in telling the story since he wasn't her. "We just got in a fight that's all, all over a bunch of women hitting on him."

"You and Alec fight all the time, then everything ok again." Joshua smiled again with the simple fact that he was right they would work it out and then start arguing all over again like nothing had happened.

"That's just it. I'm just tired of fighting with M…" He cleared his throat, "him."

"Max worried because women like Alec?" he wondered not really getting why the argument had really taken place. His innocence truly shone through making Alec smile at the simple statement and then he remembered he was Max and scoffed, "hell no."

He figured Max would have said something similar. Stopping any wayward thoughts he had, he actually thought about what Joshua was saying. It went along the same line he had thrown Max, maybe she truly was jealous? That didn't make any sense. He only did it to piss her off knowing he would get a reaction out of her. Knowing without a doubt she couldn't stand him.

"Maybe Max has feelings for Alec?" Joshua questioned again in a different manner he hoped Max would understand.

"Please, I can't stand him," he heard her voice say with a sadness he couldn't help. "All he ever does is screw up my life." Adding the last little bit because no discussion of him ever went without those few words.

"Max says no too much," Joshua grinned showing his canine teeth and Alec couldn't help but smile. The lady doth protest too much instantly came to mind and he chuckled. Who would have thought Joshua would be so poetic.

"What did Alec say?" he finally wondered at the whole argument.

"He said too much and too little," was Alec's reply. "He said he didn't care about those women and that he's changed."

"Maybe Max should listen to Alec." His intense gaze never wavered from his smaller friends soft brown eyes but he saw a small flicker of a smile grow on her lips. "Max scared I think. Scared of losing Alec?"

"No…" Alec started slowly it was so weird discussing himself as if he wasn't even there. "No," he repeated more firmly at the crazy notion.

"Logan asked about Max today," Joshua quickly changed the subject because he didn't want her to bottle up and stop talking, he had gotten his answer.

"Oh yeah?" he asked more out of curiosity than anything else. "What did he want?"

"Wanted to know if you were ok. Said you not answer his paging." Alec closed his eyes. So in trying to be Max he forgot one tiny bit she never left without, her stupid pager. Oh well.

"I'll call him later." Not really in the mood to discuss Logan because of the intense guilt from her body not to mention his own problems, he got up from the table and gave his friend an apologetic smile. "Sorry pal I'm going to head out. I'll see you later."

With those words Joshua watched Max walk away and couldn't help but notice the difference in her. It was in her eyes, her facial expression and even her walk. She was really spending way too much time with Alec. She was even acting like him. He loved his two friends too much for simple words and seeing them fight was never easy. Hopefully he helped in what little way he could.

Leaving TC Alec walked home and went straight to bed, fully knowing now that sleep wouldn't be any closer now than it was before. Lying there he watched the ceiling. All that played over in his mind was the fight with Max and now the conversation with Joshua.

Max woke the next morning and stared at the ceiling lost in thought. She knew she eventually had to get up. Dreading the fact that getting out of bed would mean leaving behind its warmth and comfort. The argument from the previous night hit her and she sighed. Against her initial goal she simply turned over, covered her head with his pillow and tried to go back to sleep. The world would just have to wait because today Max was simply not in the mood to face it.

Alec looked over to the clock and groaned. He spent the entire night watching the stupid ceiling and now knew without a doubt he would never be able to forget the thing for the rest of his natural transgenic life. All thanks to a very accurate memory. Thanks again Manticore.

Raising himself on his elbows he watched the gray light make its way across the bedroom floor. Looking over to the window he noticed it was streaked with droplets of rain. How surprising.

Managing to untangle himself from the covers he threw them aside with a sigh and buried his face in his hand trying to rub away the weariness he felt through and through. His nose caught the smell of coffee and he headed in its direction finding Cindy sitting at the table reading. She looked up at him and gave him a smile in greeting, "hey boo." She got up and headed towards the coffee pot and poured her friend a cup. "Feeling better?" she walked back and slid it across the table.

Alec sat in the chair across from her and marveled at the simple gesture, "I'm alright." He tried to give her his usual smile but it simply wouldn't come. "I'm always alright," he said in a softer voice.

"Cheer up boo, it's a new day. Although a rainy one but I'm sure things will brighten up soon." She tried to show Max optimism hoping it would be contagious but noticed the saddened expression from the previous night had simply grown instead of receding.

"I heard you leave last night, you go see him again?" inquiring dark eyes stared back steadily. That had to be the reason, Max never usually dwelled on her emotions that long.

"Yeah" came the slow answer and O.C. just waited. When nothing else came forth from her friend, she prodded impatiently with, "well?"

"Nothing," Alec said unemotionally. "You know we should get a TV," he changed the subject abruptly and Cindy smiled at the attempt. Sighing she just agreed with Max with a nod.

"I'll get one today." He rose from the chair, decision made. "In fact I know someone who owes me a few favors." With those words he left the apartment and went out to pick up a few things that would make him feel better.

Later that afternoon he showed up with a TV and some comfort foods he always enjoyed. Convincing Cindy to spend the rest of the afternoon with him they ended up watching some old movies together. Trying his best to enjoy the small comfort of her company he avoided the real issue. He simply didn't want to deal with it. Pretending the world on the outside wasn't there had its appeal and he forgot about his problems. That was until the pager vibrated on his hip for about the tenth time in the space of two hours. Give it up Logan I really don't care about your stupid missions.

Trying to ignore the constant paging guilt started to creep in playing a very hindering role in his day. He eventually gave up and called Logan back. Cindy watched from the couch as he made the call, all the while pretending to be occupied with the comedy on the screen.

"You paged," Max said bluntly as Logan answered.

"Yeah kind of hard to ignore after the tenth time," O.C. almost laughed at her best friend's sarcastic reply.

A bit surprised at first from the tone of her friend's voice but she could understand where she was coming from. Sometimes the boy just wouldn't let up and didn't know when to quit. She only got a one way conversation but it was enough to know that Max wasn't having an easy time of it. After a few moments she watched as Max finally gave in like she usually did when she tried to be assertive with Logan. Her facial expression had contorted from annoyance to guilt.

"You know what fine, I'll do it." She watched as Max rolled her eyes and Cindy was saddened that she was pulled in again. "Yes I'll do it alone you don't have to worry about Alec screwing it up for you ok?" the irritation in her voice was so thick she was surprised Logan hadn't caught on yet. Or maybe he had and ignored her feelings like he always did because he was being selfish. "He won't bother us, just let it go Logan. I can do it on my own." There was a pause, "no I'm fine just let it go."

She watched as Max hung up the phone with a grunt. "Y'okay?" she asked with concern.

"I'll live," she said flatly.

Without another comment Alec walked back to Max's bedroom got dressed accordingly, grabbed up the folder he knew Max had left there from her recent memory, and left the apartment slamming the door.

O.C. jumped slightly from the couch and shrugged. Her attention turned back to the movie and she tried to pretend what she saw didn't bother her. She would get to the bottom of things soon enough and know what was wrong with her boo.

Alec walked into Logan's 'borrowed' house a few hours later and without so much as a hello he threw a package on his desk. "Your mission," he said angrily

Logan startled pushed his glasses up on his nose and turned to look at Max with a small smile, "hey you."

"Cut the crap okay. I'm really not in the mood," Alec said sick and tired of the older man's attempts at vainly reaching out when he should know better. Max was trying to stay away for his own good and the man simply wasn't getting it.

No wonder she was a bitch whenever he brought the subject up. Only on day two of being her and already he wanted to rip him a new asshole. Looking over at the exoskeleton by the fireplace Alec felt himself swallow and divert his attention to think of anything else but.

Logan was caught off guard but tried to recover with his usual soft spoken mannerism. "That was pretty quick," he observed in what sounded like a compliment.

Ten years extra of Manticore on Max did have its advantages but of course he wasn't one to talk about it. That was something he avoided like the plague. His training and forming through a brainwashing government facility that treated its soldiers like they were nothing but objects was something he did not want to think about. Alec avoided the statement and went on with what he came here to do.

"Did you think I wouldn't find out?" he accused Logan with a soft yet dangerous voice for a moment forgetting he was supposed to be Max.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Logan said truthfully and looked back at the package on his table.

"I kept wondering why you were so worried about Alec being there and I got my answer. You knew he would never go along with it if he found out. You knew that if I was there by myself and got wind of the fucking cure that I'd take a peek but if Alec was there that he'd stop me."

"So instead you were content on letting me go by myself knowing full well how dangerous it was; only there was something you didn't plan on and it almost got me killed." He cocked his head at a side angle and waited for Logan to fess up. All the while thanking a higher power that he had been there instead of Max and his added training had saved his life.

When Logan simply pretended nothing was out of the ordinary Max advanced threateningly leaving almost no distance between them. Feeling her close proximity he actually started to feel a slight trickle of sweat slide down his back. He swallowed back his weak attempt at playing stupid.

"WHITE!" Alec finally raged at Logan and closed his fist trying to keep himself from hitting him. Of course he wouldn't die from the hit. Alec would feel strangely satisfied but Logan would probably croak from the simple contact. So with bottled anger he turned around again. I can't look at him, because if I look at him I'm going to kill him.

"What do you mean White?" Logan was now clearly confused. "I sent you there to gather information on how the government has been keeping under wraps sensitive information on warfare viruses and their curing agents. I had an idea that there could be information there about the cure but never kept much hope. How does White come into the picture?" Logan was now deathly afraid of the murderous look in the cold brown eyes as they turned to face him.

"You know for an ordinary you can be pretty stupid," he threw out the insult knowing full well that Logan would feel its denigrating nature down to the core. Especially if it came from Max. Looking down at the glasses on the tip of his nose, down to his legs Alec still felt the guilt swimming throughout her body but was too angry to even care at this point. How could he say he loves her when he risks her like that?! He's worse than Manticore.

Manticore had always pretended their soldiers were important only as long as their goals were met. Deep down it never really mattered how they achieved them. Looking at Logan he felt sick.

Passing his hand through his hair out of habit he forced himself to stop. He tried not to think of what had happened but it was futile. He could still hear the sneer in White's voice when he realized that he wasn't alone.

He had gotten into the government lab bypassing all of its securities. He even took a moment to reprimand himself of the fact that in his anger he had gone there in broad daylight. It was too late now. Using her body to its full advantage he had found it was a little easier to sneak and creep. Getting all of the sensitive information Logan needed to expose the lies covered up by their own government he had stumbled upon information on Max's virus and its cure, realizing only too late that he had tripped a silent alarm.

Swearing to himself for letting his curiosity get the best of him, he had wandered from his main goal and ended up face to face with a gloating White, "it's been a while 452."

Alec had almost laughed. Think again ass wipe no 452 today just 494. They stood facing each other with no one moving a finger. "I knew this would get your attention," waving his arms widely around the room White smiled pleased with himself.

Alec had heard them approach behind him and before they could so much as touch him, had reacted and dropped to the floor sweeping the feet under one. He threw him to the ground. Watching with a calculating gaze as the other approached he pushed himself off the ground and kicked the gun out of his hand. With precise motion threw an uppercut to his chin. There was a dull crack and he fell to the floor unconscious.

The first had by this time managed to get back on his feet. Without a second thought Alec reached in and was about to snap his neck but in hesitation instead elbowed him in the face. His nose broke on contact and he kicked him into the wall.

White's face screwed up with anger and he lifted a gun in Max's direction. Alec felt rather than saw more people enter the room. "Say goodbye 452!" Hearing the bullet leave the barrel Alec blurred at the last instant and it only managed to graze his right arm.

Taking a running leap he flipped through the air punching White square in the face "Goodbye!" he said with a smirk and without another look back ran out of the building. When the odds weren't in your favor there was no shame and running and living to fight another day.

Managing to leave the secluded area Alec made it to an abandoned alley and looked at the damage. Sighing with relief he touched the small nick on her dark skin. She would have really chewed his ass off if he had managed to get her shot, blaming him again for screwing up. Only it wouldn't have been his fault, it was Mr. Perfect Logan's fault. So it was with unchecked anger that he made his way back to Logan's. The fury had almost made him break his face the minute he saw him.

The older man facing him would simply never get it; he somehow lived in his own little word. Always trying to do well he was a self made hero saving the world a hack at a time. Only he never stopped to realize that it was others doing the work for him. They risked their lives while he simply waited for rewards to drop in his lap on a silver platter. And she says all I do is think of myself.

He now understood the guilt and had acted upon it himself when Logan had first called. Somehow he strangely felt a sense of satisfaction after having done something for the good of mankind but not at her expense - Never at her expense. He hated the fact that this was Max's choice and that she felt the need to put her life on the line. All in the name of what she thought was love for the man who was facing him at that very moment.

Sadly he realized that deep down she was probably seeking redemption from what Manticore had made her to be. She tried to make others see she wasn't a monster and he sighed forlornly. If anyone should seek forgiveness it should be me. She didn't have to risk herself every time she did it, there were other ways. So it was with mixed emotions that Alec looked back at Logan. He was furiously working his mouth trying to say something to appease who he thought was an angry Max. I still don't see what she sees in him.

Feeling a range of emotion from jealousy, to hate and simple anger Alec finally opened his mouth. "I'm done; I'm not a fucking toy you can just send out whenever your heroic tendencies take a front seat to your common sense." he said cuttingly.

He really had no right to make the decision for Max and he knew she would be furious and probably never talk to him again but what was new? He just couldn't hold it in anymore. "Whatever may have happened in the past happened. Move on and get over it."

He pointed without looking to the exoskeleton which was sitting inanimately by the fireplace. The inorganic equipment spurred his guilt once more. "Take that piece of shit equipment and throw it out. You don't need it anymore," he couldn't help but feel that Logan was keeping it as a reminder kind of like a sick leverage.

Alec couldn't believe the amount of anger coursing throughout the body he was trapped in. He was slowly losing his grip on his relaxed happy go lucky nature. Suddenly he felt trapped with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

First he had fought with Max over something incredibly stupid and now this with Logan. Would the anger and remorse he was feeling ever stop? Feeling an intense urge to scream he closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip. Taking the pager off his belt he threw it at Logan and walked out. The action conveyed more than words ever could.

Logan watched Max leave with an incredible amount of guilt rising through his body. Closing his eyes he buried his face in his hands. Once again in trying to reach out to her he only managed to push her further away.

Rising from his chair he swept his hand across the desk and threw everything to the ground in a flurry of papers and a dull thud resounded as the package fell. A stupid package that now meant absolutely nothing to him compared to her.

Strangely a thought occurred to him that he didn't believe at first; maybe one person would be able to calm her. Not wanting to admit it but Alec was now closer to her than he would ever be. Especially now and although he and Alec had a strange friendship maybe the blond transgenic could help make her see.

A/N: Here's the next part and although I'd love to make this fiction all laughs, lollypops and candycanes well let's face it Max and Alec just wouldn't be who they are without a bit of spice in their lives. :) so I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

I know I probably mention it every chapter but thank you so much for all of your reviews I just love reading them, ALL of them.