Lucas held Colleen close the whole service, not looking at all in the direction of the casket. All the hellos and apologies were bunched together; he didn't even know how many people were actually at the funeral.
Right before they closed the casket, Haley took Colleen from Lucas, and he walked slowly up to the casket, trying not to cry. He knelt down beside it and put his head down, not wanting to look at the body.
"Keith." He cried "Buddy, I love you so much, I'm so sorry."
Lucas then lifted his head to look at the lifeless boy. He looked just like Lucas. He had shaggy blonde hair and big blue eyes, he brooded all the time, and loved to read and play basketball.
"Daddy, where will Shaggy go?" Keith asked Lucas when his dog died.
"Well buddy, he'll probably go up to a place called heaven." Lucas told him.
Keith looked up at the clouds "What's heaven Daddy?"
"It's a place that you go when you die. It is a wonderful and happy place." Lucas said.
Keith smiled "I'm glad Shaggy will be happier now."
"Me too buddy, me too." Lucas said to his son, who was still looking up at the sky.
Lucas felt a hand on his back, and it was Haley, motioning to the back of the church where Brooke stood.
Brooke walked ever so slowly down the aisle, and Lucas moved away to give her some space. Brooke looked at Haley and put her hand out, knowing she couldn't do this alone.
Haley took Brooke's hand as they walked to the little boy in the casket.
Brooke hasn't cried since she found out about her son's death, she just feels so lifeless inside.
Brooke took Keith's hand in hers, looking at the little boy who she raised, the one who loved to run around and play all the time, when she thought about this, she felt as though she couldn't support herself anymore, she leaned on Haley, who helped her to the back of the church.
"Are you staying?" Haley asked her quietly.
Brooke shook her head and headed out to the car.
"Brooke wait." Haley said, running over to Nathan.
"Bring Brooke home for me, I don't want her driving." She said, handing him the car keys.
The rest of the funeral was a blur for Lucas. He still couldn't believe that his son was gone, he couldn't be.
"Brooke, I'm home." Lucas said, walking in the door with Colleen asleep in the bassinette.
Brooke walked over and took the baby. She walked into the nursery and changed Colleen, before putting her in the crib and walking into her bedroom.
Lucas came in the bedroom to get changed, he knew that Brooke wasn't asleep.
"Brooke, please talk to me." He begged, sitting on the bed next to her.
Brooke just lay silent, hoping he'd go away.
"Brooke, you need to talk to me. Please. This isn't good for you, you haven't eaten and talked in days." He said "I…I need you to talk to me. I'm sorry Brooke, I know you--."
"Damn it Lucas!" she said rather loudly, sitting up "My son is dead! And you were the one driving, I don't want to look at you, I….I can't. Just leave Luke, I can't be with you right now."
"This is my house too Brooke, I'm not leaving!" he protested.
"He packed a bag with a few shirts and pants and left. Needless to say, he walked right across the street and knocked on the door.
"Lucas." Haley was in her night gown; all the light's were off "What's wrong?'
"She kicked me out Hales." He said madly.
Haley, to Lucas' surprise, did not step away to let Lucas come in.
"And you're here?" she asked, laying her hands on her pregnant belly.
"Do you not want me here?" he asked.
"Now? No. Lucas, Brooke needs you. If she tells you to leave, you stay right there next to her. She might not act like she wants you around, but in her heart she knows she needs you, she just knows it. Don't leave her alone Lucas, stay by her side. She is so weak right now." Haley told him, before shutting the door.
Lucas sighed Lucas. Leave." She said sternly "I can't be with you right now."
and walked home and into the bedroom "Brooke?"
She was nowhere to be found, he searched the whole house, and is now in a panic.
"Brooke!" he yelled a little louder. He ran into Keith's room, and she wasn't there, but the closet door was cracked open "Brooke." He pushed open the door "Oh my god." He looked at his wife, lying on the floor with Keith's things in her lap "Oh, pretty girl." He could feel the tears in his eyes and couldn't hold them back, he leaned closer to his wife to embrace her.
"Get off of me. I don't want you near me." She said hardheartedly.
"Brooke, please.' He begged.
"Get away." She told him, not looking into his eyes.
Brooke needs you. If she tells you to leave, you stay right there next to her. She might not act like she wants you around, but in her heart she knows she needs you, she just knows it
"Lucas. Leave." She told him again, not wanting him to see the pain in her eyes.
"No." he stated simply, walking out of the room.
This made Brooke even madder, she got up and stomped out of the room and into their bedroom where Lucas was climbing into bed.
"I'm not sleeping with you." She told him, grabbing a pillow and walking out to the living room.
Lucas sighed and got up, following Brooke "Fine, I'll sleep on the couch, but I'm still not leaving this house."
"Why Lucas?" Brooke threw down the pillow "I can't stand to look at you right now. My son is gone Lucas, and it's your fault!"
Lucas felt as if he'd been punched in the stomach. He knew that Brooke was thinking this since the accident, but never thought she'd say it aloud.
"Brooke, I'm so sorry." He could feel the tears in his eyes
"Yea, me too." She turned her back to him and closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears from coming down.
Brooke woke up an hour later when Colleen was crying. She put on her robe and walked into the nursery, picking up the beautiful baby and cradling her in her arms.
"Shhhh." Brooke whispered, swaying side to side "Mommy's here."
Colleen settled down as Brooke fed her, after she put Colleen back to bed, she went to the kitchen to get a drink. Lucas was in there already.
"Here." He said, handing her a cup of coffee.
She took the coffee without saying a word.
"How long is this gonna last Brooke?" he asked, the coffee mug hot on his hand.
Brooke nodded and turned around.
"See Brooke, this is why we aren't getting anywhere! You won't talk to me!" he yelled.
She spun on her heel "What do you want to talk about Lucas? The wonderful day, the good television show, what basketball games are on? Because I don't care Lucas! I don't care about any of that anymore."
"Why?"
"What do you mean, why?"
"I mean, why don't you care about it anymore? Brooke, no matter what you do, Keith isn't coming back. I miss him like hell Brooke, and would take back that day for anything in the world, but I can't. Life changes sometimes when you don't expect it and there's gonna be nothing you can do about it, because--"
"Stop." She yelled "Just stop. I don't wanna hear it!" Brooke walked back to her room and waited until she knew Lucas was asleep. She grabbed a suitcase and threw clothes in it, before going to the nursery, and throwing clothes for Colleen as well as formula and diapers in the suitcase. She put Colleen in the bassinette and grabbed the car keys, putting Colleen in the BMW, and turning the key.
"We're gonna take a trip pretty girl." She said to the sleeping baby.
Lucas walked out the next morning and realized that his wife and baby were gone, panicking, he grabbed the phone, before reading the note on the counter.
Lucas.
I just need to clear my head. Colleen and I will be fine. We'll be back in a few days, I'll call tonight, don't bother to call me. I'm sorry Luke, I just need to get away for a while.
We'll talk when I get back.
--Your pretty girls