Hello and Goodbye
Jack had been holding Samantha as they lay on their bed while she cried for the loss of Grace. They both knew it was for the best that she had accepted her other parents so easily but Samantha, understandably, needed to grieve for the loss of the child she had raised for nearly a year and Jack knew the only thing he could do was hold her. Eventually her tears subsided and she turned to Jack with a weak smile.
"I think I'm okay now – sorry about that, but it has been a bit of an emotional few days."
"There's no need to apologise – that's your way of coping. Jack took me down to the gym this afternoon and we did a bit of boxing – he knew I needed to blow off a bit of steam about how unfair this situation is."
"Oh yeah – who came off worse?"
"Well there aren't any bruises on me. I was pretty angry at him though – he is getting the girl and the kids and I am getting nothing – literally. We talked afterwards though – I wanted to make sure he knew what a lucky bastard he was and that if he ever did anything to screw it up, dimensions of time and space be damned, I would come and kick his ass!"
They snuggled quietly for a while just enjoying the peace of being in each others arms while they could when Jack realised he was eventually going to voice what had been plaguing him since he and Jack had been boxing earlier.
"I don't think I am going to be here for you when you have the baby." Jack said quietly as he snuggled behind Samantha, his voice filled with regret. "I've been feeling a bit funny this afternoon."
Samantha turned to look at her husband and realised he was looking pale. Tears began to pool in her eyes, the logical part of her brain knew this would happen but her heart was telling her that she wasn't ready for their time to be over.
Jack began to caress their child. "I was really looking forward to being a dad." He said as he nuzzled Samantha's neck. "I just want you to know that I don't regret a thing – these last ten months with you have been the best time of my life – I love you Sammie."
Samantha felt her breath catch as Jack finally said the words she had been longing to hear from him. "You've been the best time of my life too." She smiled through her tears. "I wish things could have been different for us but I don't have any regrets either." She lightly placed her lips on her husbands. "Make love to me one last time." She whispered.
"It would be my pleasure." Jack grinned.
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Several hours later just as they were both drifting off to sleep Jack whispered "Elizabeth Jane". Samantha smiled – both their mothers names – perfect.
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Jack and Sam had finally gotten Grace off to sleep and were getting themselves ready for bed. Samantha had prepared Grace well for her journey into the future – she appeared to know what to expect but the reality of actually seeing and experiencing all these amazing things like television, music and indoor baths had her fascinated. Jack had visions of coming home one day and finding his precious TV in pieces because Grace had decided to see how it worked. After only spending one day with the three year old Jack could tell she had her mother's voracious appetite for discovery.
"Did you see her face when we put her to bed? Sam asked indulgently. "I wonder if it was the feel of the sheets or the softness of the bed – God she has been through so much in her three years." It still amazed Sam that the child had been living in Ancient Egypt up until twenty four hours ago."
Jack got under the covers of their bed "Yeah - but you have to remember, she doesn't know any different – chances are she won't even remember she was born in Egypt let alone Ancient Egypt – three year olds are pretty resilient."
Sam finished cleaning her teeth and joined her husband in bed and immediately gravitated to his warm embrace like she did every night they were together.
"So how are you coping?" Jack asked as Sam rested her head on his shoulder. "It's been a pretty incredible day – has it hit you yet that you are a mom?" Jack laced his fingers through Sam's hair – he loved that she had grown it longer.
"Yes and no – it's all a bit surreal, but I have to say I have never felt anything like what I feel for Grace. When she climbed into my lap this afternoon – this is going to sound crazy – but I felt this surge of love – it was incredible – she was mine and I knew I would do anything for her." Sam tilted her head to look at Jack's reaction. "Crazy right?"
Jack looked at his wife – 'a surge of love' – that is exactly what he had felt when he picked up Grace for the first time - an overwhelming knowledge that she was his daughter. "Nope not crazy at all"
They snuggled in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. Jack finally decided he needed to ask. "Is there anything we can do for them – I kinda feel like we owe them – they are prepared to give up their very existence so we can have a family."
Sam looked at Jack sadly "The timeline they originated from no longer exists – it's not like they came from another reality that we could send them back to – there is literally nowhere for them to go – I know how you feel though – I know she is me but I don't know if I could be so selfless".
Jack looked at his wife in surprise - she was probably the most selfless person he knew. "If Grace were being abused for being different what would you do?"
Sam looked at her husband and knew instantly that she would have made the same decision as Samantha and Jack. "Anything. I would do anything to protect her."
"There you go." He said simply. Jack began to stroke Sam's face lightly. "Just so you know and you don't start worrying about how you are going to be a good mother and run a lab and be off saving the world occasionally – I emailed my request for retirement to the President this afternoon."
Sam sat bolt upright in bed – a mix of anger and relief. She had been worrying about how she was going to be a good mother – Jack knew her too well sometimes. "Don't you think that should have been something we decided together!" She demanded angrily.
Jack was shocked at her reaction, he had thought she would be relieved, but in retrospect not discussing a big decision like retirement probably wasn't one of his brightest ideas. "Sam, I am ready to retire – I don't want to miss a moment of our kids lives and let's face it you and the kids here and me in Washington was never going to work. The way I see it, you have options this way and you know I will support whatever you decide – you can work full time or resign completely if you want or anything in between – whatever you decide though, we will make it work."
Sam thought about what he said and he certainly didn't make it sound like retirement wasn't any great hardship for him and it would certainly be nice to live in the same city as her husband for a change. Sam grinned. Jack returned the smile and thanked the heavens he had managed to talk himself out of that one – who said he couldn't be diplomatic when it was needed.
"We had better get some sleep Mrs O'Neill – I have a feeling that young Grace has inherited her mother's energiser bunny tendencies." Jack smiled ruefully.
Sam tried to look indignant but failed miserably because she knew Jack was probably speaking the truth so instead she began to trace lazy circles on his chest "Really, 'cos I thought maybe we should celebrate." She moved her hand lower just to make sure Jack completely understood how she wanted to celebrate.
"See! Energiser bunny!" Jack laughed and rolled them so he had Sam pinned beneath him. "God I love you so much!" The sincerity and emotion in Jack's voice bought tears to Sam's eyes.
"I love you too,"
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Samantha wasn't sure what woke her – whether it was the fact that she was alone in the large bed or the searing pain that had ripped across her abdomen. The one thing she did know, was that the baby was on its way and its father was lost to them forever.
TBC
A/N One chapter and an epilogue to go!