Trials and Tribulations

Summary: Harry Potter knew he was going to get shocked when he visited his parents graves. He knew that'd he'd see family he never met; like grandparents, uncles, and aunts. But one thing he didn't know was that he was going to meet his sister.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I am not making any profit off of this fanfic.

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Emotions

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Exhausted."

James was sitting in a chair beside Lily's bed at St. Mungo's. They had been there for four days now, Lily still needing treatment and the baby in intensive care. They had been told that there was a very slim chance that she'd make it, and that drained Lily. She hadn't seen her baby, held her baby, or heard her. Lily rested her head against James's shoulder. "Thank you for being here."

James looked at her. He had never seen Lily so pale. He wasn't sure if it was because of the blood she lost or if she was depressed and sick from the delivery. He reached for her hand and squeezed it. "I'd never stay at Hogwarts knowing that you'd be here alone."

"No," Lily said, her voice sounding so monotone. She didn't look at James, but continued to look at their joined hands. "Thank you for being there for me the entire time. Since almost day one," she blinked away a few tears. "You've been there for me, and you saved my life. You were with me the last time I was here, having a panic attack, and you've just been…Last year I was so mean to you. I hated you to be honest, because you had the emotional capacity of a teaspoon, and here we are…" She couldn't finished. James wrapped his arms around her, holding her. It was a bit awkward holding her from the chair, so he slowly stood up and sat on her bed.

Lily hastily wiped at her eyes with her free hand. She shifted, wincing slightly. "I'll understand if you think this is the end of us-"

"Lily!" James hissed, looking at her. "Why would you think this? Unless…unless you want it to be," he whispered, his voice shaking. He couldn't imagine living one day without Lily by his side, knowing that she was his and no one else's. He let go of her so he could shift to see her better.

"This is my fault James-"

"No it's not." James lifted her chin. He was shocked to see her eyes full of remorse. "I don't know the whole process of what happened, but it wasn't you. You didn't reach inside of yourself to do this. This didn't happen because you eat cheese in your oatmeal or onions with your eggs. Please Lily, don't blame this on yourself." He leaned down and kissed her forehead. When he pulled away, Lily stroked his cheek. She didn't say anything for several minutes, more than likely trying to digest what he said. For the past four days she was blaming this on herself. She couldn't figure out an excuse as to why this could happen, she couldn't find a way to explain why the baby was born the way she was, with the umbilical cord around her neck.

"I love you." The words tumbled out of Lily's mouth before she could stop them. James leaned down and kissed her.

"I love you too. Love you more than anything in the world." He pulled away and leaned his forehead against hers. "We're going to make it through this."

"I don't feel 17 anymore." Lily brushed her hand across her eyes. "I feel so old. I'm in school still."

"I know what you mean." James tucked a strand of hair behind Lily's ears. "But…I don't know…I can't think of anything to say anymore." He pulled away and looked at Lily. "Are you sure you're doing okay? You haven't slept much, and I'd hate to see you get sick after all this."

"I'm making due," Lily sighed and leaned against her pillows. "You know…I just want news about the baby. They haven't been telling us much-"

"Speak of the devil," James whispered. Lily sat up and looked at Madame Jacobs. She was walking in the room slowly, hands shoved in her pockets. She had tears in her eyes, and the breath that Lily had was gone. Just by the expression on her face, Lily knew it was bad news. She tried to hide, to ignore what Madame Jacobs was saying, and it seemed to work. She focused all her attention on the foot of the bed, and when she looked up again, James was crying.

James Potter was crying.

Lily wasn't sure what she felt. Relief? Anguish? Her daughter, the little being that she was carrying a week ago. She was gone. She never believed this would happen. She had prayed, she hoped, she did so many things, wanting her little girl to survive. Lily tried to hold the fat tears that were welling up in her eyes back, but they rolled down her cheeks. She felt as if she were just stabbed in the chest, over and over again. She closed her eyes, trying to stop the pain, she wanted to go back in time to a week ago. She would have lived in Madame Pomfrey's office, having her care for her the entire time, just to have her back.

She never even got to hold her.

Lily gripped the blanket in her hands tightly. She heard James say her name, brokenly, but she couldn't bring herself to look up, look up and see his distress. His anguish. He said her name again, but she shook her head wildly. She wanted to shout, she wanted to scream. Let the entire world know how much she was feeling. She just lost her baby.

Her little girl.

"I want to hold her," Lily demanded, scrubbing at her face. The tears wouldn't stop. Her face felt hot and she felt terrible. She rubbed at her face again.

"She's here." Lily looked up at James. "She's in my arms Lily, and she's so small."

Almost immediately James offered the baby to Lily. Lily shakily held her in her arms, sucking in a breath. For a moment, she couldn't see anything, and as her vision focused she saw the little red head in her arms. Her skin was a light pink with a bluish tinge. "Her little hands…her little feet. These were the feet that were kicking me James," Lily whispered, sobbing. She couldn't bring herself to say anything else. James nodded his head, taking a deep breath. He wrapped his arm around Lily and she leaned against him.

"I know this is going to sound awful," James whispered, placing a kiss on Lily's temple. "But I'm glad she didn't suffer long."

"She didn't." Lily held her baby against her, trying to stop the tears. "I wish this wasn't happening. I wish she was crying and hungry and I was nervous and about to feed her for the first time." James stroked Lily's back. She felt as if her entire world had crashed around her shoulders. For the better part of a year she had been pregnant, revolving her life around her baby, around James, around everything, and she knew she was going to have to start all over again.

There was a knock at the door and Lily looked up. It was the healer who had brought her in. "What's her name?" James whispered, trying to hold onto her for just a moment longer.

"Mary Anne," Lily said automatically. "It's been in the back of my mind for awhile now."

"Mary Anne Evans," James whispered, touching the baby.

"Mary Anne Evans-Potter," Lily corrected. She knew the healer was walking towards them, wanting the baby back, but Lily wanted to hold onto as many minutes as she could. After several more seconds, Lily tore her eyes away from Mary Anne. The healer was standing beside the bed, giving them as much time as they needed. "Goodbye," Lily whispered. She kissed her on her small head and watched as James did the same thing. He whispered something, something Lily didn't hear, and then he carefully handed Mary Anne to the healer. Lily couldn't help but smile when James told her to be careful.

"That was hard," James whispered, looking at Lily. He knew that talking about it was good, but it was just so hard. Lily tucked her head underneath his chin and hugged him fiercely. "I felt her kicking, and she was kicking hard." He heard Lily mumbled I know against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. Never, not through the entire pregnancy did he think something like this would happen. Of course he feared the normal things that any parent would fear, but death? He never imagined it.

"We have to have a funeral," Lily whispered. She pulled away from James. James leaned away from her, grabbing tissues. He gave some to Lily and blew his own nose. After wiping away his tears and throwing away their tissues, he returned to the bed and sat down.

"I know where," James said. "In the cemetery off of Hogsmeade. That's where my parents are…All the Potters actually." He ran a hand through his hair, and Lily gave him a sidelong glance. He smiled a little bit, she still didn't like it when he did that. "If that's okay with you of course."

"It's fine with me."

"Good."

James grabbed her hand. "We're going to get through this. Together."

"I know," Lily said, staring at their joined hands. "Together. Forever." She looked at James. He nodded his head and smiled. Even though his heart was broken for his daughter, for Lily, for everyone around him, he felt a little warmth in knowing that Lily was going to still be at his side.

xoXoXoXox

BB/N: Oh. My. Goodness. This fanfic is nearly over. The Epilogue is next.

Thanks for all the reviews! And for all my faithful readers, thanks for sticking this long with me!

Love,
Bob Bennit