Word Count: 2434 (longest chapter to date)
Are you happy Blackmagic34? There's more "talky talky" XD.
A/N: I'm happy with the way this chapter turned out, and even happier that I completed my goal of four chapters in a month (you guys can live with that, right?) Of course, I would like to mention that I'm starting school on the 4th, and afterwards I'm going to be going to driving school so my time will be almost non-existent. I'm going to try and get an update done before the 10th (when I start driving school) but I make no promises.
Ninja were liars. Damn good ones when it came right down to it. Everything thing they did, every mission they completed, recon and assassination alike, were founded upon three basic untruths.
1) The moment an academy student puts on a hitai-ate, that student no longer governs themselves. Trained ninja have come accept that fact and embrace that fact, they have given their village their all. Mind, body and soul.
2) Kunoichi are valuable members of the ninja core and are to be respected on the same level as their male counterparts.
3) It is an honor to die for your village.
Lies. Needling little falsifications that fortify the will and sharpen the kunai. Prevaricated bullshit that make ninja believe (even if they don't) that it's for a just and true cause that they kill for a little more than enough money for a good meal.
Hatake Kakashi can tell you what the village does to you, can tell you the nightmares he'd suffered (and still suffers) when he used to play God and mimic Death.
Yuuhi Kurenai would tell you, but whenever she thinks about that mission that only she could have done, she feels sick, and wonders what she'd ever done to deserve Asuma.
Namikaze Minato would tell you, but his sense of duty and love for his village would stop him short from telling stories of the all-consuming fear and hatehatehate he felt when he left his son and died for his village.
And that, among many other reasons are why civilians are known to be very wary around ninja, rarely having a relationship with ninja, and never taking anything they say at face value. (Civilians know, even if they don't understand, the price ninja have to pay.)
Even the little ones--something that those who had been around 21 years ago knew--, mini-nins were not to be underestimated (especially ones who knew over 100 ways to kill you by only using their thumbs).
Ninjas, as everyone knew, followed a code of ethics and regulations known as the Ninja Handbook, or, the Ninja Handbook of Ethics and Regulations. It's basic knowledge and is one of the many things drilled into the head of Academy Students before they're made genin.
But, what most people didn't know, was that there is a completely different code that ninja both chuunin and jounin strictly adhere to, something Aoba affectionately refers to as, The 101 Ways Not to Get Your Ass Killed.
They are a set of oral guidelines that are passed on from generation to generation (though, there are rumors that most of the guidelines were invented by Jiraiya, which most people are inclined to believe because, "Never infiltrate a kunoichi bathhouse using a Henge", just screamed "pervert Sannin"), that although at time were humorous, through experience, had saved more than a few lives.
Rules like, "Cheat and steal, lie if caught, kill all witnesses, and repeat the process until the mission is complete," and, "Your body is as much of a weapon as a katana or kunai," were crass by the eyes of many, but ninja are only as good as their survival instincts.
-
Kakashi has always been a very good ninja, and, conversely, Kakashi has always been a very good liar.
Kakashi's first undercover mission had been when he was six years old and a barely promoted chuunin. The mission had been an A-rank that he most certainly shouldn't have been assigned to, but he really was the only one who could have done it. Konoha had been involved in an under-the-radar war with Hidden Cloud for years, and their efforts were becoming exhausted, there were whispers of a war coming, and they needed to get across to the Hidden Cloud village that they were strong... and wouldn't hesitate to take them out.
So Kakashi, cute child that he was, small and unmasked, was left on the outskirts of the Cloud damiyo's estate by his sensei, who instructed him with saddened blue eyes, to complete the mission as quickly and safely as possible and to meet him back at that spot in 48 hours.
Kakashi, as naive as one could expected a six year old killer to be, completed his mission, playing the part of a lost little boy, crying when he fell, smiling brightly and obliviously when the damiyo's wife kissed his knee and picked him up, young eyes cold as his small chakra-aided fist destroyed the damiyo's jugular.
At the time, Kakashi didn't understand the look in Minato's eyes when Kakashi told him that the mission was too easy.
-
"Right," Genma stated, "so what the hell do we do now, genius."
"We walk through the village and finish the mission." Kakashi said blandly, brushing his newly dyed blond hair from his face. Try as he might, he never could get used to his hair hanging in his face, hence the reason he had always been thankful for his hitai-ate. But now, when he had no hitai-ate, it was nothing more than a nuisance (it took an ungodly amount of time to get his hair to stay put).
"Oh, right, that's easy for you to say, you don't have to walk through the village getting hit on by 40 year old perverts that want your-- very shapely-- and very female ass!"
"At least you don't have to walk around with a man-woman on your arm," Kakashi sighed, "this is not how I pictured this. The one time I have a lady on my arm addressing me as Sir, it had to be you."
Genma balked, "Well, I'm so sorry that I'm not up to your wet dream standards, moron."
"As well you should," Kakashi answered matter-of-factly, tilting his head to the side to avoid the mass of poison-tipped senbon that were hurled at his head.
Honestly, Genma could have at least tried to be a bit more civil, being as everything they did on this mission was for the good of the team and their country and all. Though, if Kakashi really thought about it, he supposed he could feel a little bit sorry for Genma, in a better-you-than-me sort of way... Genma really did have a very shapely ass (not that he was looking, of course).
Of course, said man with the very shapely ass was in fact, not a man, but a very pissed off man-woman who had lost --rather pathetically-- in a game of nose goes, and had to be the one in the woman's kimono and make-up. A point which only proved that Tsunade had a very wicked sense of humor.
"Now, now Genma," Raido said, trying to pacify the outraged man, "it's only for a little while, you can take it off right after we get through the chakra field -- damn troublesome things that they are."
Chakra fields are not something ninja come up against often, while they were easy to set up and thusly very useful, they were extremely difficult to maintain, especially when covering a large area. And this particular field surrounded the whole village.
Logically, this was the most convenient and strategic area to place one, as this debauched town was the least guarded area of the Grass border and many an enemy nin had slipped through this village into the neighboring Rock Country.
What the chakra field did, was to alert the maker of any ninja passing through the barrier by the pattern of their chakra, which tended to be less erratic and more refined than civilian chakra. The truly useful thing was that if there was even a small spike of trained chakra inside the barrier, the maker of the chakra field would be able to sense it immediately, and be able to pinpoint it until it was completely removed from the barrier.
But for as hard as a chakra field was to maintain, it was equally as hard to detect, and they were extremely lucky to have Kakashi on their team, as he always checked for lingering chakra with his Sharingan before approaching any village. Generally it was just paranoia acting up, but times like these made even Genma bite his tongue.
As a result of this barrier though, Raido had to seal all of their chakra by manipulating pressure points with Genma's senbon (he really was the go-to man). And because of that, Genma, unfortunately, had landed in this...predicament.
"Oh, yeah, that's easy for you to say, you don't have to wear ridiculous female underwear," Genma winced, "that suffocate your freakin' balls."
In all actuality, Genma really was the only one who could have pulled off wearing a female kimono, Asuma had a beard (and more body hair than a freakin' gorilla), Raido's scar wasn't winning him any points, and as for Kakashi, well, no one wanted a half-blind broad on their arm.
The kimono fit him quite nicely, almost like it had been tailored for someone his size (Genma had this really sneaking suspicion), it hugged curves he didn't have, and was floor length (just long enough so that Genma wouldn't have to break his ankles trying to walk in the geta that came with it). It wasn't exactly a traditional kimono, but nevertheless it was a beautiful ebony with ice-blue sweeping designs on the front, and some sort of kamon on the back.
Genma's face, although decidedly masculine with his set jaw and indelicate mouth (nothing that wouldn't be hidden by the fan he also carried), had make-up applied, a rosy blush and a hint of lip stick. His hair (the longest out the the four) was pulled back and swept into as neat of a bun as it could be tied into (Asuma had nearly asked Raido how he knew how to do it, a teasing barb at the tip of his tongue, but a sharp look from Kakashi silenced him).
"I hate you all."
"Of course you do, dear," Kakashi tittered in a mocking manner, smirking under his mask as Genma started to grind his teeth. Meanwhile, Raido was sighing exasperatedly, and Asuma was busy fixing his civilian-style suit --that matched both Kakashi's and Raido's--, and puffing quite contentedly on his newly acquired cigar. (As far as he was concerned, this whole covert operation really wasn't so bad, it might be due to the fact that he was currently inhaling euphoria. Either way, Asuma was pretty happy--all things considered.)
"Let's go," Kakashi stated, any joviality gone from his voice. The rest of his team nodded once, realizing the gravity of this seemingly harmless situation and fell into step behind him, Genma coming up alongside Kakashi and eyeing him with an off look. Kakashi merely raised his visible eyebrow (the other one being covered with an eye patch), and fiddled with his hair.
Unfortunately though, his hair was going to be the very least of his problems.
-
"I hope you know what you're doing, old girl." Jiraiya said, leaning up against the front Tsunade's desk with a sigh.
Tsunade blinked up at him blearily from where her head was resting on a stack of unfinished documents, "Of course I don't know what the hell I'm doing Jiji, when have I ever known what I was doing?" Tsunade continued on bitterly, "If I knew what I was doing, I would have never taken this job, never given my necklace to Naruto, and most definitely not have sent Kakashi on that mission."
Jiraiya walked around the desk and put a hand on Tsunade's shoulder, taken aback when she didn't make a move to stop him,
"You're the only one who could have done this job, Naruto is going to surpass the Fourth one day, and Kakashi needs this."
Tsunade slammed her hands on the desk abruptly, whipping around to face Jiraiya, shaking his hand off her shoulder, "But what if he doesn't! What if we're wrong! What if I'm wrong! I can't do this to him...to Sakumo..." Tsunade seemed to deflate, the fire fading out of her eyes as quickly as it had arrived.
Jiraiya exhaled softly, crossing his arms as he continued, "So that's what this is about, huh?"
It had been no secret that Sakumo had been close with the Sannin, possibly even surpassing them in power, he even used to take missions with them after Orochimaru started spending more and more time in his lab. Sakumo and Jiraiya had been especially close, drinking buddies for as long as anyone would care to remember. Jiraiya had even been named Kakashi's godfather after he was born.
But even with how close Jiraiya and Sakumo were, something that was less known, was that Tsunade held a special love for him. Not romantic (though Tsunade would never disagree that Sakumo was indeed a very attractive man), but not completely platonic either.
He had been there when Nawaki was killed and had held her when Dan died. Sakumo had always been a constant in her life -- always happy, always smiling -- he had talked her out of committing suicide in a drunken stupor, and because of that she had always held a special place in her heart for him. It's not to say that she didn't think he wasn't an amazing pervert (what with him and Jiraiya giggling over Jiraiya's rough draft of some poor grade porn), or an insufferable idiot (he knocked up his girlfriend and had the nerve to come to her, asking her what he should do), because really, he was both of those things (and Tsunade wouldn't be Tsunade if she didn't point out his faults every now and again).
Needless to say, Tsunade was crushed when Sakumo committed suicide, had even held it against his kid because she knew that if it weren't for Kakashi, Sakumo would have never killed himself --Sakumo was too strong.
But now, when Tsunade was a lot older and a little wiser she had come to terms with Sakumo's decision, not to say she understood it, hell, she would never agree with his logic. Regardless, Tsunade had never liked being indebted to anyone (gambling being one true exception), and took it upon herself to look after Kakashi. Granted, it had been a long time since she had seen the brat (he had been around eleven when she left), and he most certainly didn't need looking after now that he was 26 years of age, but Jiraiya had always noticed the fond look in her eyes when Kakashi would rub his head and laugh ruefully at the latest severe injury he'd received --looking so much like the father he hadn't really had a chance to know.
Kiki's Excuse Corner-
This is a short one, but does anyone know what type of casual clothing they wear in the Naruto-verse? I looked up some Japanese clothing that I was going to base it on, but I didn't find anything satisfactory. Of course, I could just chalk it all up to being AU (because I, honestly, like the thought of Asuma in a suit), but if you had any input that would be great. Thanks for reading.