Author's note: thank you so much to each one of you for reading this story and reviewing it. I can't tell you how much it means it me. I know this chapter is shorter but that's the way my muse wanted things to be. I hope you like it :-)

84

Lucas,

When I let you go six months ago, I thought I could live through the heartbreak and move on with my heart. Tonight I know that I was fooling myself.

In what possible universe could I handle seeing you in bed with Peyton right after you had sex and be okay with it?

Just the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. I walked away from the two of you in a daze and I tried to erase that image from my mind, but no matter how hard I try to ignore it, this moment has left a mark on my heart. It hurts, Luke. Damn it, it still hurts like hell.

I had to stop and empty the content of my stomach on the side of the road. I know it wasn't because of the alcohol. The sight of you two sobered me up in a fraction of second.

I didn't expect this to be easy, but I didn't think it would be this hard. Maybe if I had known, I wouldn't have had the courage to go through with it. But I guess I got what I wanted in the end because you are happy and so is Peyton. I just wish it was enough. I wish it made giving up on both my best friend and boyfriend easier, but it doesn't. When I was crying over my boyfriend, no one was there to hold me in their arms and tell me it was going to be okay. And when I was hurting over losing my best friend, there was no boy standing next to me and making it all worth it.

Why did you have to pick me the second time around? You said all those things to me and made me feel like what we had was so much more than anything you had ever felt. And I believed you. But if it was all true, how can you be with her the way you are now, blatantly ignoring everything we ever had? Why did seeing you lying in bed with her feel like finding out you cheated on me?

Why does it hurt that damn much after all this time?

Do you remember that night during our junior year when you found me on the beach after our formal? I was upset and you were there for me in spite of everything. You just sat next to me and asked me if I was okay, like a friend would. And do you remember what I answered? "Why does everybody lie? The bad guys lie to get in your bed, and the good guys lie to get in your heart. And I'm the idiot who falls for it every time."

You said that I wasn't an idiot and you tried to convince me otherwise. But you were lying about that too, because I fell for all of it again a few months later.

You got in my heart again and I hate you for that.

You said you were the guy for me. You said I would see. You said you loved me. You said it meant everything.

And right now I really wish you could keep your promise and rescue me from all of it.

Brooke