Disclaimer: Not mine
Author's notes: 2/3 done. Thanks for the reviews! I inserted one of my favourite lines from my favourite movie of all time, "Casablanca" at the end. It seems fitting.
It's always easier in the books.
"Has he called yet?" Rinoa asked her housekeeper who was busy dusting the vases in the living room. Esmeralda gave her a pitying smile and shook her head slowly. Dejected, Rinoa slumped against the cushy seat.
She had not heard from Squall for a week. At the beginning, the calls were frequent; once every other day but their conversation over the phone was always curt and formal. Then, the calls stopped altogether.
He sends her letters, each with a meaningless trinket attached to it; a brooch, a pair of earrings, a seashell. Squall signs off each letter with the same endnote, I will see you soon.
But he hasn't.
Rinoa nearly jumps out of her skin when phone rings. She trips on the coffee table in her haste to pick the phone up.
She smiles wide, as though Squall was watching her. "Squall?"
"It's Quistis,"
Her heart sunk. Did something happen?
"Squall says he is sorry he can't make it to the phone. But he says he will see you soon."
Of course he did.
Eventually, she did see him at her father's party. Their eyes meeting across the room as he walked down the stairs; it was like a replay of their first meeting, him in his SEED uniform and she in her white dress, except that this time, he came in arm-in-arm with Quistis.
Rinoa's stomach churned at the sight; he did not even notice her.
This must be what they call jealousy.
Adding to her displeasure, the jovial events master announced into the microphone, "May we invite Commander Leonhart and Instructor Trepe to the dance floor for the first dance?"
From a distance, Rinoa saw that Squall looked appalled at the idea of dancing and Quistis studied him with a bemused smile on her face.
Her stomach churned again when she saw Quistis leaning over to whisper something into Squall's ear; blue eyes twinkling merrily. Much to Rinoa's surprise, Squall nods stiffly and started making his way in her direction.
He stands in front of her, proud and tall in his SEED uniform, and offers his hand. Rinoa takes it without hesitation and leaded him to the dance floor.
"I missed you," Rinoa whispers as they danced. Squall says nothing but he tightened his hold around her waist and places his chin on her head.
Rinoa pretends she doesn't see that his eyes were on Quistis, who was in deep conversation with a handsome, foreign dignitary from Esthar, throughout the dance.
He came to see me.
"Stay," Rinoa tells him the next morning.
Squall avoids making eye contact with her. "I can't. The Garden needs me."
She grabs his wrist, her voice pleading, "We hardly talk anymore."
"I'm sorry," Squall says, and kisses her forehead tenderly.
"Squall, stay with Rinoa," Quistis interrupts. As if on reflex, Squall wrenched his wrist free when he heard Quistis' voice. He looks at her questioningly.
"I talked to Cid before we came. You can have the week off."
"…the Garden?"
"I can take care of it. You stay here and spend time with Rinoa," Quistis says in a stern voice. Rinoa smiles at her appreciatively and mouthed 'thanks'.
"Cid says that it is an order," she said again after noticing Squall's dubious expression.
For once, Rinoa is thankful that Squall is a soldier, because a good soldier always follows orders.
Rinoa woke up with a start when she heard the shrill ring of the phone. Beside her, Squall stirs and mumbles something under his breath.
The voice over the phone was high-pitched and spoke gibberish.
"Selphie?" Rinoa said sleepily, rubbing her tired eyes, "You have to slow down. I can't understand you."
When Selphie finally calmed down and gave her the news, Rinoa nodded solemnly and placed the phone back to its cradle.
Squall was now fully awake, switching on to his Commander persona, "What did she want?"
Rinoa turns to him guiltily and placed a comforting arm on his back.
"It's about Quistis."
She had never seen Squall looking so alarmed.
They stand outside the infirmary while waiting for an update on Quistis' condition. Rinoa sees that Squall was gripping the arm rest so tight that his knuckles were white. She places her hand on his fist in an attempt to reassure him.
"It's not your fault," she whispers even though she knows he is not listening.
Rinoa knows him well; he will carry the burden of Quistis' injury on his shoulders because she'd been on one of his missions.
Squall had not spoken a word on the whole journey back to the Garden. He paced back and forth the waiting room for a while before plunking himself onto the cushy sofa next to Rinoa.
She tried; she really did. All her efforts were futile and the only way for him to cheer up is to see Quistis up and about again.
"Commander Leonhart?"
Squall stood up in full attention when Dr.Kadowaki walked out of Quistis' room.
His shoulders tensed when he notices the doctor's sombre face, "How is she?"
"When the explosives went off, she managed to duck out on time. Unfortunately, the metal debris from the explosion caught her off guard. She was lucky that it didn't impale her."
Rinoa sees Squall's shoulders sag slightly when he processed the news. She squeezed his hands out of relief.
"She has a couple bruised ribs, some shallow cuts and a minor concussion but with proper treatment and bed rest, she should be fine."
"Can I see her?"
"Yes."
Without another word, Squall pulled his hands out of hers and made his way to Quistis' in large, hurried strides.
She stands alone in the waiting room, like a ghost.
Always second.
Rinoa sniffed the bouquet of roses, savouring the sweet smell. "What do you think she likes?"
It was her idea to come to the gift shop; she wanted to pick some flowers to brighten up Quistis' dreary room. Squall had reluctantly agreed to leave Quistis' bedside to accompany her on the shopping trip.
Squall shrugs at her question and turned his attention back to a novelty balloon. Rinoa sighed at his response and continued browsing.
"Blue irises," he muttered to himself all of a sudden.
She looked at him strangely; Squall knows about flowers?
As if in a trance, he methodically picked out the bouquet that consists the bluest irises and paid for it at the counter.
"Quistis' favourite," he says with a slight smile at the bouquet in his hands, noticing Rinoa's befuddled expression.
A red rose appeared in front of her nose. "Here," Squall offered, "I got this for you."
She accepts it graciously even though she knows he bought it as an afterthought.
Always an afterthought.
Rinoa stands alone outside, her fingers playing with the ring around her neck. Through the glass observation window, she sees Quistis and Squall in a heated argument; Quistis' face red with rage and Squall scowling angrily at her.
Quistis says something and brushed Squall's hair out of his face and he calmed somewhat, but his shoulders were slumped.
Squall nods slightly when Quistis gives him an apologetic look, she pats his hands gently. He smiles quietly at her and stood up to leave.
It was then something clicked in Rinoa's head; something that she had known of for a long time but was blinded over by the illusion of a fairy tale ending to acknowledge.
"Squall, we need to talk."
Squall looked up from his dinner plate questioningly. Rinoa fidgets on her seat, she'd always found it hard to say something when he looks at her that way. Her fingers clenched around the ring in her palms, the cold metal digging into her skin.
Steeling her will, she reached across the table and placed the ring in front of him.
He stares at it, not knowing how to react. "What's going on?"
"I'm…," Rinoa hesitated to find the right words, "I can't do this anymore."
Tilting his head slightly in confusion, he takes the ring and pushed it back to her. "I gave this to you."
She sighed. She always thought that Squall was dense, but this is a whole new level, even for him. "Squall, you are in love with Quistis."
"No," he denies.
"You probably don't notice it yourself, but I do. Every look you share, every little thing you do for her adds up in the end," she explains.
In a moment of silence, he contemplated her words before shaking his head as if trying to rid himself of his thoughts. "But I want to be with you."
"I don't want you to be with me because you feel like you are obliged to," she says sadly, squeezing his hands tenderly, "I don't want to be feel like I am second."
Rinoa picks up the ring and placed it onto his palm, his fingers closed around it instinctively.
Squall moves his gaze from the red tablecloth to her eyes. "So this is it then?"
She nods and wills herself not to cry.
He leans over and kisses her lips gently; fitting for a last kiss.
"I'll always be your friend," she whispers into his lips as she stood up to leave. Rinoa sees him hesitate to let her hands go.
"Squall, if you don't leave me now and be with her, you will regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life."
Realisation seemed to dawn him when she spoke those words, he released her and kissed her forehead one final time before turning around to leave; never once looking back.
Rinoa allows herself to break down then.
It's the right thing to do, she repeats to herself like a mantra.