Author's Note: Here is the last of the 4 letters, as promised. It's been a lovely ride with all of you - thank you for sticking around until the last chapter. I'm sad this fic is already done, it was a pleasure writing it.

A few of you asked whether I would write a sequel where Lucas would confront Brooke about the letters... and the answer is yes. I've already started it, and it might actually be longer than what I'd originally imagined. Anyway, my point is, watch out for that fic in the next few days ;-)

Thank you all for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoyed reading this fic as much as I loved writing it.

See you around,

Laurie

86

Lucas,

I don't know how to begin this letter. I don't even know if I should be writing – maybe it's better for my sake if I try to forget the way I feel. But something about the way you looked at me tonight shook me to my very core, and I couldn't ignore those feelings even if I tried with all my heart.

When I let you go during senior year, I wondered how I was ever going to get over you. It took me a long time to accept the fact that you weren't coming back to me, but I moved on, eventually. I dated Chase, spent the summer in L.A., moved to New York, and then life got so busy that forgetting about how much it hurt was much easier. I could go on living my life knowing that you and Peyton were happy, and that maybe one day I would learn to give my heart again.

But you showed up in New York last night and everything changed. My world slowly but surely titled back on its axis during the night, and by the time I left you in that hotel room, I found myself back to square one – or should I say, back in the Bermuda Triangle of Death.

It would have been so easy for you not to call me, but you did. And maybe it was because we had broken up a long time ago or maybe just because the pain of losing you had finally lessened, but seeing you and talking to you after all this time felt like discovering an old friendship that was about to bloom into so much more. I had forgotten how easy it was to spend time with you. God, it felt good to hear your voice and see your smile.

And then you got down on your knee in front of me, and my entire being froze. My heart prayed for you not to say the words, but you did. You said the words that were meant for Peyton while looking straight into my eyes and I knew that this moment would forever remain burned in my heart.

Somehow I ended up wearing Peyton's ring and pretending to be your fiancée, and that's when I started losing all sense of direction. I could no longer tell north from south, and it wasn't just because of the free champagne. My head knew better but my heart was getting carried away, and when the carriage driver asked us what our life plans were, I wasn't pretending anymore. You were thinking about her the entire time while I was remembering the dreams we used to share.

I won't lie and say that it wasn't hard to let those moments pass by and keep my feelings buried deep down. But it all would have been okay if only you hadn't pressed your lips against mine in that hotel room. Why did you have to do that, Luke? What did you have to leave me wondering what it meant? That's the hardest part – not knowing if this kiss just meant that you were drunk and missing Peyton or if there is some part of you that misses me, somehow.

But do you remember what I once told you? I wish I could forget it now and pretend that this belief was never mine.

A kiss always means something.

I had to let you go one more time and I wish you'd had enough sense to hold back. How could you kiss me? We're not in high school anymore. We are adults now, grown ups living in the big scary world, getting engaged and writing books and starting fashion lines. And yet the taste of your lips transported me back to a time where you were mine and things were so much easier.

Part of me wanted to be selfish for once and act on my feelings. I wanted to kiss you back, and to hell with Peyton and stupid sacrifices. But it's not who I am. And it wasn't you either – just the alcohol. Because nothing would have happened, had you been sober. Right?

I walked out of your hotel room with tears in my eyes and it took the entire cab ride for me to calm down. It's amazing that after all this time, you still have that much power over me. You made my heart race and my head spin. You made me feel alive.

I wish you could take it all back now. All the things I gave, like the take of my kiss on your lips. I miss that now.

The man that drove our carriage through New York was right. Love is what it's all about.

I missed you, Broody. I wish you were in my life.

But you're not mine to have. Maybe you never were.

Brooke