You wake up in Ryan's bed but he is not with you
You wake up in Ryan's bed but he is not with you. His side is cold so you presume he's been long gone. There's a note on his pillow that you pick up and begin to read.
'Good morning. I've gone out for a few hours for some food and shit, I'll be back soon. Ryan.'
There's no 'Love Ryan' or 'All my love' or even a few x's and o's at the end to show he loves you but then again do you really expect it? You've only just got together with Ryan and it's not like it was when you were with Logan. It was a thing you and Logan had, you had always loved each other it wasn't this new found thing or anything. Maybe you're just not used to not hearing it.
You get up and walk into the kitchen wearing Ryan's t-shirt. Both the boys are on the couch playing the Xbox 360 but both boys turn to you as soon as you enter the room.
"Morning, Veronica. Sleep well?" Nathan smirks.
"Um…"
"I mean, Ry didn't wake you when he got up did he?" Danny smiles.
"Okay, what is going on here?" You ask, sitting in between the boys.
"We know about you and Ryan. The sex, the connection. Oh and we now about Logan…like everything. Ry told us."
You should be angry about Ryan telling them but for some reason you're not. It's not like you don't trust these guys. They're probably the most trustworthy people you know.
"I see."
"We don't really care. As long as Ryan is happy. After what happened wi-" But Nathan is cut off immediately by Danny.
"With?" You ask giving a fake smile.
"With his last girlfriend. Man she was a big slut. Like total. Cheated on him all the time. Big bitch too." Danny says faster than you could imagine.
Not all that surprising but you don't believe Danny because just something about it doesn't add up. But you decide to forget about it anyway. You're in Australia, a new you, a new Veronica and you're not going to dig into Ryan's past, if he wants to tell you something than he will tell you in his own time.
You grab Danny's Xbox control and start playing, just to forget about what the boys said.
--
Ryan sits across from you at a table in a restaurant. It's this little quiet restaurant in Melbourne that is quite possibly the cutest place you've ever seen. You pick at your food, you're hungry but just that thing about Ryan that Nathan almost told you was eating at you inside but you're not going to pry. No you won't.
"What's wrong babe?" Ryan asks as he shovels a large part of his salad in his mouth.
"Nothing, it's just…well…I don't know really."
"Are you not hungry? Because we can leave."
"No, no. This is nice. I like it here. I've just got some things on my mind."
"You can tell me." He says, grabbing your hand from over the table.
You smile genuinely because as nice and caring Logan was you couldn't do this with Logan. There was always something that would come up and would break between you and a nice quiet dinner would end up into a full on bitch fight almost all the time. This was nice, just having dinner with your boyfriend and not arguing about everything and anything that came up over the table.
"It doesn't matter. Nothing really. Do you want to go catch a movie or something?" You say trying to divert the attention.
"Sure." Ryan replies, asking a waitress for the check.
--
You and Ryan get home late, you're ever so careful not to wake Nathan and Danny who are presumably asleep. But your plan fails when your cell rings loudly in the house. Ryan laughs and turns the lights on, giving up on trying to be quiet. You answer your cell.
"Hello?"
"Hey Veronica, it's Wallace!" Wallace calls from the other end of the phone.
"Wallace! Oh my god."
"How are you?" He asks as you sit on the couch in Ryan's arms.
"Fantastic. Really great. How are you?"
"Good, all good. How come you're so great these days?"
"Oh maybe I'll give you my secret one day." You tell Wallace smiling at Ryan and kissing him softly.
"So where are you staying? Not in a hotel right?"
"Yeah, like I have enough money for that." You laugh. "I'm actually staying with some new friends in Melbourne. They offered me a room for low cost so yeah."
"Oh cool. Where about in Melbourne?" Wallace asks like he has an ulterior motive.
"Why?" You ask suspiciously.
Wallace pauses and you think maybe he's up to something. "Oh, uh I have cousins in Melbourne."
"Oh, I'm staying like pretty much central Melbourne. With guys called Daniel Smith, Nathan Alcove and Ryan Harley." You tell Wallace in confidence.
"Oh cool. I don't know them but they sound alright. Hey look, V, I got to go. Talk to you soon. Bye." Wallace says before hanging up.
You think it's weird that he called you and that's all he wanted to know but somehow it doesn't fester inside you. You have not a care in the world right now. You have a great boyfriend, great friends and for once in your usually hectic life there is no drama at all. No mysterious deaths or rapes or fights or anything. Nothing.
--
With your back to Ryan and his arms around you, you awake in your bed early morning, smiling. You hear Ryan's steady breathing, he's still asleep so you decide to wake him up. Your hand travels down his side and behind you as you reach down onto his naked body and grab his dick. He groans but he's not awake yet.
"Ryan." You whisper.
He doesn't wake still so you start stroking him slowly, he stiffens in your hand and starts to moan.
"Veronica, what the hell?" He says, finally waking.
"I wanted to wake you up." You smile, turning around to kiss him.
"You achieved your life goal, now can I go back to sleep, it's like…" He pauses to look at his watch. "…7.00am."
You shake your head and roll over on top of him. He's fully awake now, his erection rubbing against your thigh. He smiles at you as his hands travel up your waist to your bare breast. You softly groan when he starts kneading them in his hands.
"Morning sex. Nothing better." He tells you.
"Agreed." You reply, grabbing a condom from the top of your bed side table and opening the packet up.
He slips the condom on right before he slips inside you. You moan out in pleasure as that now familiar feeling of Ryan's cock inside you hits you. He thrusts up into you, your hips clash with his own.
And then you're interrupted.
"Knock, knock guys." Someone says at the door, but they don't open it, they know better.
"What?" Ryan manages without sounding like he's inside of you.
"Veronica, you have a visitor."
"Tell them to come back later." You giggle.
"Um, I think you want to come out here, Veronica." Danny says.
Ryan thrusts up harder into you.
"Danny, go away I'm having sex with my boyfriend and unless you want to hear us do it then I suggest you leave us alone." You sternly tell him.
"Okay, that's way too much information thanks but you need to come out here. You have a visitor."
"Who the fuck is it?" Ryan asks, rolling you over.
"Logan Echolls." Danny says.
Your heart stops for those few seconds. Logan Echolls. Your eyes widen and you feel something in your stomach turn and twist and make you feel all yuck inside. Quickly, you get off Danny and put on your panties, a shirt and a pair of jeans. Ryan looks at you and grudgingly follows your lead and quickly gets dressed.
As much as you try, your hair won't flatten and it literally looks like you've just been having sex. Which you have but you'd rather Logan didn't know that.
Ryan opens the bedroom door for you and steps out, you follow him into the lounge room where Logan is standing. He looks every bit as gorgeous as he was when you left him and a large part of you regrets leaving and regrets ever thinking you didn't want to be with him.
"Hey Ronnie." He says sarcastically.
"Hey." You smile half heartedly feeling nervous under his intense stare.
"You gonna introduce me to your friends or am I just going to have to guess which one you're fucking." He pauses to look at your expression. "Or are you fucking them all?" He says afterwards and you see Ryan's fists clench.
"Hey, mate look if you're going to be saying that stuff to Veronica you're going to have to leave."
You give a 'thank you' look to Nathan.
"Logan what are you doing here? How did you know where I was anyway?"
"I came here to get you back, Veronica. Wallace told me where you were."
"Wallace?" You laugh. "I knew he was up to something."
Logan lightly smiles but the room still feels awkward.
"This is Ryan, my boyfriend." You tell Logan, introducing him. "And this is Nathan and Danny." You say. "Ryan, Nathan and Danny this is the infamous Logan Echolls."
Logan nods at each of them but you know he just wants to kill Ryan.
"We need to talk, Veronica." He says, gesturing for you to follow him outside.
"Sure." You say, letting go of Ryan's hand that somehow found it's way to your own.
Logan follows you out the door, shutting it behind him as you both stand in the hallway of the apartment complex.
"Logan, we talked about this. I'm finished with us." You say.
"I'm not. I love you Veronica." He says grabbing your hand, it breaks your heart in thousands of ways and makes you want to kiss him. "Don't you love me, V?"
"I do Logan, I really do but-"
"But what? There's no but. We love each other and that's all that should matter. We're meant to be Veronica. I want to be there for you forever and ever and ever. I want to take care of you and be your husband and have children with you, Veronica. Why the fuck do you think I flew out here? I miss having you around."
"Logan, please don't do this."
"I'm not the only one. Wallace misses you and so does Weevil. Hell, I even spoke to Dick the other day and he told me he missed you and that he was sorry about everything."
"I'm not coming back."
"Then I'm not leaving."
"You have to." You laugh, letting his hand go and turning away.
"No I don't. I'll fucking buy a house. But you can be sure of one thing, Veronica. If you don't come back with me, I'll be here every day for the next 100 years with flowers and chocolates and gifts, trying to win you back."
"I'm not a prize to be won Logan."
"Whatever. I just want you back in my life."
"What don't you understand!?" You yell, suddenly feeling all emotional. "I don't want to be with you! I'm over us and what we were. I'm with Ryan and if you can't get that through your head then go and jump off a bridge Logan."
Immediately you gasp at your own harsh words. You see the glassiness of Logan's eyes and how upset he is. In fact you can almost feel his heart breaking his pain. Oh god, what have you done?
He bites his lip, trying to stop it from trembling. But it won't stop, it just won't. He wants to cry and scream and hit you for being such a bitch but he won't because he loves you, and you had to be such a bitch.
"Fine. See you in the next life." He shoves a gift box at you and walks off quickly. You exhale and take deep breaths. You're not going to open the box. Not ever.
--
Ryan sits at the end of your bed. You haven't said much since your talk with Logan and when Ryan tried to kiss you, you pulled away which is what lead to him sitting at the end of your bed and you standing by the door.
"Veronica, I'm trying to understand. I really am. I'm trying to understand why you just can't let it go and let him go?"
You sigh. Why? Why Veronica. Why?
"He meant a lot to me once. He was my first ever love." You smile. "We used to hate each other you know? I wanted to kill him mostly. He'd make sexual jokes about me because I was sweet innocent Veronica who'd only ever been kissed. He'd smirk at me and try to catch my attention, I was never interested until Lilly died. Maybe that's why I can't let him go. Because apart of him contains a part of Lilly and I can never let Lilly go."
Ryan puts his head in his hands.
"Then we can't be together. If you can't let him go, then we can't do this. I can't even begin to love you if you're in love with someone else. It's not fair Veronica."
You're suddenly all defensive.
"Oh. Well how come I'm the only one who puts their whole self in this relationship? I've told you everything about me Ryan and what do I know of you? Nothing, that's what."
He gets up and walks to you.
"It's a painful thing to talk about, and I'd rather not."
"You don't think Logan was? He was the fucking love of my life, Ryan and I had to give him up because he tried to kill two of my friends!"
"I can't help that!" He yells.
"No you can't but you still won't tell me anything."
"You really want to know about me, Veronica? You really want to know why I'm so fucking fucked up?"
"Yes." You reply, feeling confident.
"Fine! Here it is. I was married two years ago. I loved my wife more than fucking anything. We even had a kid. Then last year my daughter Olivia was murdered by some fucking psychotic bastard and my wife accused me of killing our daughter! You happy now!? You happy that you know all that shit about me!" He yells at you.
"N…no." You stutter.
"Good! Fucking good because I hope to fucking god that you feel fucking guilty about asking me." He says walking out on you.
--
You stumble in the door after having been to a bar. Your vision is fairly blurred and your speech less than perfect. The lights are off in the apartment as it's quite late but you can hear a girl giggling. You follow the noise.
"Stop it." The girl's voice giggles.
As you get closer you hear a moan and then laughing. It's coming from Ryan's room.
"Ryan…stop it."
Angrily you burst in the door, standing at the door way in shock at the picture in front of you. In front of you Ryan lies above a girl who is very much naked beneath him. She's covered in love bites and there's a used condom on the floor by the bed.
"Oh god." You say.
"Veronica." Ryan says.
"Veronica?" The girl asks, sitting up.
"Veronica." You reply, eyes wide.
"Wait, who's Veronica?" The girl asks in a stupid girly voice.
"I'm Veronica." You tell her trying not to cry, trying not to hurt.
"Well sorry, Veronica but um Ryan's taken for the night kay babe?" She says to you like you meant nothing.
"I can see that." You spit. "Have fun."
"Baby wait!" Ryan calls after you as you turn away.
Ryan runs out into the lounge room where you're quickly slipping on shoes.
"Baby, I'm sorry. She means nothing, I was just so angry."
"You should have thought about that before."
"We weren't technically together, Veronica. Can't you forgive me?"
"Please, can you be anymore idiotic? Go fuck your slut Ryan."
You slam the door as you leave finally crying as you reach the stairs. Tears poor down your once too happy face, blurring your already blurred vision more and making your face hot. You stumble down steps in a hurry, trying your best not to fall.
When you make it outside the cool air is a shock to your hot face. It burns a little but you keep moving. Where you're going, you have no clue but you're just going. You have to go. You have to get out of here.
Your cell rings, you fumble for it in your bag. Logan's caller ID comes up and you're actually glad it's him.
"Logan." You answer.
"Veronica!" He yells. "Veronica, Veronica, Ver-on-ic-a. How you doing baby? Fucking Ronald…no wait that's not right…R…R…"
"Ryan." You say.
"YES! Fucking him are you?"
"No. Logan I need to see you. Can we talk somewhere?"
"No, no, no. Too late Ronnie." He calls out drunkenly. "Too, too late."
"What do you mean too late Logan?" You ask in a panic.
"Veronica said she didn't want Logan anymore, so Logan got drunk. He is wasted! Then, then, get this, he…" Logan starts laughing. "…he rented a room at a hotel and well it has a balcony and it's nice out here standing on the rail. Logan wants to jump, maybe he will. Maybe Logan wants to kill him self because Veronica doesn't want him anymore."
"Logan no!" You scream out.
"Logan yes!" He yells.
"Please, Logan, where are you I'll come to your hotel room."
Logan laughs and tells you where he is and then says that it doesn't matter because by the time you get there he'll be gone. He'll be dead.
"Don't move Logan. Please don't move."
You rush to the streets, stumbling over your feet. Finally you manage to catch a taxi's attention and direct it to Logan's hotel. But will it get there fast enough? You want it to speed, go faster, drive harder. But it won't will it? You'll always be too late for him won't you?
Please don't jump Logan. Please don't jump.
Here's another update for all you lovely people out there, especially my reviewers. It's suspense ridden and you'll have to wait till the next update to know what happens. But please do review, it may getyour update a little faster.