Chapter 16

Elliot had been slouched against the wall outside the ICU all morning. He wasn't allowed in to see her, because she had taken a turn for the worse that night. He stationed himself outside the ICU until he was allowed in to see her. He begged the nurses each hour if he could go in to see her, but they all said the same thing: not until they could get things under control.

He woke with a start when he heard a door creak open.

"Detective Stabler, I would like to talk to you and your squad about Ms. Benson. Could you tell them to meet us in the chapel? There are a few thing we would like to tell them," asked one of the doctors that came out of ICU.

"Yeah, I'll get on that right now," he said, rubbing the sun from his eyes. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed the first person that came to mind.

"Capitan Cragen?"

"Yes, this is him."

"It's Elliot. Listen, can you and the squad meet me here at the hospital? The doctors want to talk to all of us."

"We'll be right over. Elliot, hang in there."

"Will do Capitan," he said, shutting his cell phone, wondering what exactly the doctors wanted to tell them.

He made his way down to the chapel to wait for the others and the doctors (by now, he knew his way around the hospital like the back of his hand. Duh, he's been there for the past month and a half.)

He took a seat in one of the pews. He never had been a religious man, but he bowed his head and was in mid-prayer when the rest of the SVU unit entered the chapel.

"How is she?" asked Munch, taking a seat between Elliot and Fin.

"I don't know, they won't let me in to see her. I've been sitting outside the ICU all night and all morning, but they won't let me in to see her," said Elliot.

Right as Fin was about to say something, the doctors came in. The detectives hushed, so they could hear the update they had been waiting for.

"I'm sorry everyone to call you here on short notice, but this was something that couldn't be done over the phone. Last night, she developed a brain aneurysm that ruptured while we tried to get her blood pressure under control. I'm sorry to tell you this, but she passed away while we were fighting to get things back under control. We will allow you in one at a time to say goodbye."

The chapel went silent. The men were in complete utter shock (well, wouldn't you be also if someone you worked closely with died?) Some sat with their hands folded together, almost in prayer, some sat with their heads in their hands, shaking in disbelief while some had silent tears running down their faces.

Elliot sat and stared up at the altar, tears running down his face. One by one, the men left the chapel to say their goodbyes. As they left, they clasped Elliot on the shoulder, to offer their silent condolences.

Elliot sat alone in the chapel, not wanting to believe she was gone. He pulled the ring box from the inside pocket of his jacket and stared at it for a while. To think, that after she was finally released from this godforsaken place, he was going to marry her, to make her his wife after all these years. That will never happen now. He was too late.

He got up and walked up to the altar, staring into the eyes of the man hanging on the crucifix.

"Why did you let this happen? Why did you let her die? Is this punishment for my sins? Why not take me instead?" asked Elliot, furious tears running down his face again.

"The lord has better plans for her, my boy. He has something planned for her that is beyond this world," said a voice from behind him. It was a priest that had come by the hospital to bless it's inhabitants and to give rights to those who died.

"The lord works in mysterious ways, my son. He does not take people from this world in payment for the sins they commit. He takes them when it is their time, because he has bigger plans for them. It is not your fault, my son, so do not blame yourself," said the priest, smiling.

"Thank you very much father," said Elliot, standing and wiping the tears away. He left the chapel and headed to Liv's room, to say goodbye.

Elliot walked with a heavy heart towards the ICU, the ring box clutched in the hand that was deep in his pocket. He entered the ICU, and headed for Liv's room.

"So, it looks like this is goodbye. To think, after you got out of this god damned place, I was going to ask you to marry me. Now that's never going to happen. Why, Liv? Why didn't you let one of us go with you? If you had, none of this would have happened," he said, looking down into her pale face.

"Elliot, the priest wants to do final rights, best let him do it," said Munch, poking his head inside.

"Good bye, my sweet Olivia. I love you, now and forever," he said, kissing her scared hand.

"My son, if you wish you may stay," said the priest, closing the door behind him.

"I'd like to. Father, can you perform a marriage ceremony right now?" asked Elliot, looking at the priest square in the eyes.

"I can, but it is against church teaching to marry someone to a corpse," said the priest, as he donned his priestly blessing attire (I'm not exactly sure what it's called.)

"I don't care. I want you to marry the two of us, right here, right now," said Elliot, pulling the ring box from his pocket.

"If you insist. We are gathered here this day, to join in holy matrimony, these two people. May the Lord look upon them and bless this marriage in the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit. Amen," said the priest, laying his hands on both Liv and Elliot. Elliot slipped his ring on Liv's pale finger, tears slipping down his face.

"Now, I must finish final rights, there are many other patients in this hospital that need blessings," said the priest, pulling a bottle of holy water from his inner pocket.

Elliot nodded and back away, not taking his eyes off of Liv.

"Lord, our father in heaven. Receive the child who's life has been taken from this world. Accept her into your arms and welcome her to thine heavenly kingdom. Bless her and watch over her, for she is your beloved child," said the priest, sprinkling holy water up and down Liv's cold body.

"I am sincerely sorry for your lost, my son. May the lord help you through this time of sorrow," said the priest as he gathered his things to leave, clasping Elliot on the shoulder.

"Thank you very much for everything father," said Elliot.

As the priest left, Cragen came in, followed closely by Fin and Munch.

"Elliot, we've got to get going. We need to make plans for the ceremony. Let's get back to the station and get all the arrangements done," said Cragen.

"Right. We still have a lot to do," he said, trying to make his voice stop shaking.

The three men filed out of the room. Elliot went over to the bed and kissed Liv's scared pale forehead.

"I'll be right back, Livia. I promise," he whispered, before leaving the room.