Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
Bella's POV
Jacob beamed at me. I stared back, still in shock.
"Wow Jake. Is it really you?" I asked incredulously. He laughed.
"Yeah it's me Bells. I love you so much," he said. He wrapped me up in his arms again. I peeked over his shoulder and saw Edward watching us with his jaw dropped open. His face was a mixture of surprise, anger and hurt. I felt awful. He was about to kiss me. I wanted it. I was a horrible girlfriend.
"What're you doing here?" I asked.
"Renee told me where you'd be," he answered.
"No I mean what're you doing here in Phoenix?"
"It's Forks vacation week. I thought I'd come surprise you," he answered, clearly proud of himself.
"Wow Jake," I repeated.
"I know," he said with a grin. "I missed you Bella." He pulled me closer to him, kissing me with fiery passion. It was so different than the sweet, tender kiss I had shared with Edward. And I started sobbing when I realized which lips I preferred.
"Bella?" Jake asked, shock coloring his face. "What's wrong honey?" I saw Edward was now watching us with pure pain on his face. It was like he had to watch his family being tortured. I watched in mute horror as Alice danced into the room, freezing when she saw me. Her jaw dropped into a perfect O. She ran over to Edward and he whispered something to her. The pity was clear on her face. She looked over at me for a second and I thought I saw anger in her eyes. But it was soon replaced with sadness. Alice started to come over to us and I calmed myself enough to talk to her.
"Hello," Alice said to Jacob. Her eyes locked with mine for a split second, telling me I had some explaining to do. "You must be Jacob." She held out her tiny hand and Jacob shook it with his huge one. She had a warm smile on her face but I could tell it was fake.
"Yeah. And you must be Alice," he said. "Bella talks about you all the time."
"Does she?" Alice said calmly. Jacob still had an arm wrapped around my waist, holding me close. I looked over and saw Edward leaning against the wall, running his fingers through his hair. His eyes met mine and I felt like I was going to burst into tears again. I beckoned to him and he walked slowly over, seeming to take several deep breaths.
"Hello," he said softly. His voice was calm but his eyes were burning, like flames. Like the usual smoldering, but intensified.
"Edward this is Jacob, Jacob this is Edward," I introduced them softly. They shook hands awkwardly. The tension was rolling off of them in waves.
"Bella didn't tell us you were coming up to visit," Edward said. He addressed Jacob but I knew he was talking to me.
"I didn't know," I said quietly. Edward refused to look at me.
"Well Jacob it's nice to finally meet you," Edward said stiffly.
"Same to you," Jacob said curtly. He seemed to be having a lot more trouble controlling himself than Edward.
"Can I talk to you for a sec Edward?" I asked, determined to keep my voice casual. Edward still didn't look at me.
"Is there something in particular you need?" he asked coldly. I felt tears sting my eyes.
"Yes. Please," I said, my voice shaking a bit. He looked at me finally but his eyes didn't meet mine. He nodded once and turned to go upstairs. I knew where to go. "I'll be right back," I whispered to Jake. I leaned up and kissed the tip of his nose.
"Bella?" he asked cautiously.
"Just a sec," I promised. I ran upstairs and into Edward's room, tripping through the threshold of course. I closed my eyes, ready to hit the carpet but a pair of strong arms engulfed me instead. Tears began welling up in my eyes. He steadied me and quickly let go, sitting on his bed. He rested his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.
"Yes Bella?" he asked, his voice strained. Now that I was up here, I didn't know what to say.
"I'm s-s-sorry," I choked out, breaking down into sobs. Edward watched me for a second, torn between anger and the urge to comfort me. The latter won and he came and tentatively wrapped an arm around me.
"There's nothing to be sorry about Bella," he said. His voice was formal, distant. "Your boyfriend is here to visit. It's not a big deal."
"Then why do I feel so guilty?" I asked shakily.
"I don't know Bella but that's up to you to figure out. I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I'm completely okay with this but you need to do what's best for you," he said. "Until then…" he struggled for a second.
"What?" I asked, instantly nervous.
"While Jacob here I don't think it's very…prudent for us to be hanging out so much. As you said, he's easily jealous and I wouldn't want to cause anything," he said with a shrug. His voice was calm but his eyes were pained.
"Edward you don't have to stop being my friend just because he's here. You're my best friend," I said.
"And he's your boyfriend. And he already hates me due to that truth or dare kiss," he said. "It's just…easier this way." He reached up, wiping a few tears from my face.
"Edward I-" I began but he cut me off by pressing a finger to my lips.
"No Bella. Just…go back to him. He hasn't seen you in a while, you might as well go see him," Edward said. "I'll be here Bella, know that. I'm sorry." He took his arm off of me and laid back on his bed, sighing. I knew that was my cue to leave. I hurried from the room.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered as the door shut behind me. I walked downstairs to find Jacob and Alice standing in an uncomfortable silence. Jacob grinned when he saw me and Alice frowned.
"You ready to go home? I'd really like to spend some time together," Jacob whispered.
"I was sleeping over the Cullen's house this weekend though…" I trailed off watching Alice. She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed.
"I think you should go Bella. I think that would be better," she said softly.
"I can help clean up tomorrow if you'd like," I suggested halfheartedly, already knowing her answer.
"No that's okay. Thanks Bella…call me. If you get he chance." I knew that really meant "call me when Jacob leaves you alone".
"Okay Alice. Bye." I could hear the sadness in my own voice. Jacob laced his fingers through mine and I leaned into him. He led me across the street, back to my house. Renee was sitting in the kitchen, smiling.
"You found her okay I see?" she said with a grin.
"Yes ma'am," Jacob said politely.
"Call me Renee dear. Did you meet Edward and Alice?" she asked.
"Yeah, they're really nice," Jacob said stiffly.
"Oh well that's just great," Renee said, oblivious to Jacob's tone. "Edward and Bella are practically attached at the hip. They ride to school together and she hangs out at their house everyday."
"Thanks Mom," I said loudly, cutting her off. Jacob seemed startled and angered by this new piece of information.
"Well I'm going to bed. It's good to meet you Jacob," she said softly. She kissed my cheek and went upstairs.
"'Attached at the hip' huh?" Jacob repeated.
"Renee doesn't know what she's-" I began but I stopped myself. Edward was my best friend. I shouldn't have to lie about that. "Yeah I guess so. I mean Alice is usually with us too. He is my best friend."
"Oh is he? The very same best friend that you made out with last week?" Jacob said angrily.
"We didn't make out Jacob!" I snapped. "It was one silly little kiss in a game of truth or dare. And you already said you forgave me for that!" I reminded him.
"I did. But I didn't forgive him."
"Well he is my best friend Jake. I'm going to be spending a lot of time with him, especially when you're gone. He's my best girlfriend's brother even, and my neighbor. I'm sorry if you don't like that Jake but it is how it is." His breathing was heavy and he was livid. After a few minutes of silence, he calmed down.
"Fine. If he's your best friend I'll deal with him," he said finally.
"Good," I replied calmly. I looked at the clock. It was almost midnight. "I'm going to go to bed. Did Renee show you the guest room?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. Good night Jacob," I said. I walked up to him and pressed my lips against his. He kissed me back with the same lusty, fiery passion as before.
"Good night Bella," he replied.
The next morning I woke up, and groggily felt around for Edward. I was, after all, sleeping in his bed, in his house. That's when the night before caught up with me. I opened my eyes and I saw I was in my own house, in my own bed, all alone. I sighed.
"Bella?" Jacob's voice startled me and I shot up, breathing heavily. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
"I'm fine. I didn't know you were there," I said once my breathing went back to normal. He came over to me slowly, timidly, like he was afraid I might shoo him away. He sat on the bed next to me, above the blankets.
"I really missed you Bella," he said huskily.
"I missed you too Jacob," I said. And it was true, I had. I just had other things to…distract me. I watched as he slowly reached and cupped the back of my neck in his hands, pulling me towards him. He brought his lips to mine and pulled me onto his lap. I kissed him back.
It was different than I remembered. It used to be so…wonderful, so amazing, the best feeling in the world. It didn't really feel like that. His lips were warm against mine and moving in a familiar pattern. He spread out on top of me, edging me onto my back, his body hovering over mine. As his hand reached for the bottom of my shirt, I froze. I pulled my lips away from his.
"Jake," I said pleadingly. "Stop." He sat back up, sighing.
"Why Bella? We've been dating for almost a year. I want to be with you in every way possible," he said. I realized how pouty and whiney his voice sounded, nothing like the velvet smoothness of Edward's. Stop, I scolded myself. Jacob is your boyfriend. You shouldn't compare him to Edward.
"Because Jake I'm just not ready for that yet," I said for what had to be the millionth time.
"Bella I'm only here for a few days. Don't you want this? So we can have this memory when we're away from each other for so long?" he asked.
"No Jake. I'll tell you when I'm ready. But I'm really not. Not yet." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and snuggled against me.
"Okay. I guess I can wait," he sighed, defeated. I half smiled.
"Thanks." I kissed his hand.
"But I need to go take a shower. A cold one," he hinted. I giggled lightly.
"Go. Take your time," I said.
"Oh I'll need a while," he replied with an eye roll. He stood up off my bed and headed to the bathroom. I walked downstairs. Renee was standing up, leaning on the kitchen counter, tears pouring down her face. I knew it then. Phil. Something was wrong. Way wrong.
"Mom? What is it?" I asked her.
"It's Phil," she choked. "He p-passed away l-last n-night. In his s-sleep."
"Oh Mom," I sighed. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her against me. Tears started sliding down my face. Poor Renee. Poor Phil.
"I have to go to the hospital…see him…one last t-time," she said. Her voice broke.
"Mom I'm so sorry. Do you want me to drive you?" I asked. She was in no condition to drive.
"No. Can you ask Esme to please…" she trailed off, breaking out into fresh sobs.
"Sure Mom. I'll be right back. I love you," I said, trying to hold back the tears, to be strong. But seeing my mother, so crumpled and broken, was heart wrenching. I kissed her forehead and ran across the street, banging on the door. Alice answered.
"Bella?" she asked confused. "You have some explaining-" I cut her off.
"Alice is Esme here?" I asked, my voice panicked and upset.
"Yeah. What's wrong Bella?" she asked, noticing my tear streaked face.
"Get Esme," I pleaded. She nodded and ran back inside. Esme was at the door in an instant. She wrapped me up in her arms.
"What is it? Is it Phil?" she asked instantly. I nodded.
"He d-died," I choked. She kissed my hair. "Renee needs you to drive."
"Of course. I'm so sorry Bella." She kissed my forehead and led me back to my house. She offered to take me outside but I declined, needing some time. I plopped into the bench on the front porch and started swinging myself lazily. I didn't let the sobs break free until Renee and Esme had pulled away.
I don't know how long I sat like that before he came. He called my name once, tentatively, before rushing over and wrapping me up in his strong arms. He was instantly stroking my hair, my arm, holding me against his body while I sobbed into his chest. He didn't care. He let me ruin his shirt with my salty tears.
I cried for Phil. I cried for Renee. I cried for Charlie, for Jacob and Edward. I cried for Alice and myself. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I cried until my eyes ran dry. I don't know how long it was, all I knew was that he was there, the whole time. Comforting me, holding me. Once I finally gained control I looked up at him. His eyes were filled with nothing but concern for me.
"Edward," I said softly. He shushed me sweetly.
"It's okay Bella. I'm here," he promised.
"Thank you Edward," I sighed, placing my head back on his chest.
"Is she done?" I recognized Jacob's voice. I didn't have enough strength to lift myself to look at him. I knew he was probably pissed but I couldn't find it in myself to really care.
"I think so," he said, his voice cold. Then he turned to me, his voice turning as sweet and smooth as honey. "Bella are you okay?" I nodded into his chest.
"I should go…" he said softly, more to himself.
"No," I protested.
"Don't worry Bella I'll be right across the street if you need me. And Jacob can hold you for now." There was a hint of pain in his voice.
"If you have to," I said sadly. He chuckled.
"I do. Goodbye Bella." He removed his arms from around me and headed back to his house. I noticed Jacob was sitting near us, on a different chair.
"How long have you been out here?" I asked. I didn't remember him coming out.
"A while. Long enough," he said. His voice was distant, like he was thinking of other things. It surprised me that he wasn't angrier.
"I'm sorry. I was just really upset and you were in the shower and Edward was out here…" I trailed off, unsure why he hadn't said anything yet, or tried to come over to me.
"It's okay Bella. You don't need to explain yourself to me. You were upset." He shrugged. His voice was emotionless. I walked over to him and he pulled me onto his lap.
"I'm sorry about Phil Bells," he said suddenly, quietly.
"It's a shame," I agreed.
"I'll stay till the end of the funeral, but then I have to go okay?" he said. I didn't even have enough strength in me to miss him, not yet. Maybe not ever.
"Okay." And while Jacob held me in his lap, I knew now was not the time. It was not the time to make my choice. I should be here for Renee and that's all. My problems weren't important, not right now. Afterwards, I would make my choice. Once I knew which was right. It really sucked having to choose between two good things. Especially if you love those two things.
A/N: I know everyone is mad at me for bringing Jacob back. But he needed to come. Don't worry he's leaving soon, he has to go back to Forks (thankfully). Remember to check out my other story, which I also posted a new chapter on tonight, called When We Were Young. I hope you liked this chapter and I hope you REVIEW!!