Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
Bella's POV
"What Angela? What did he do?" She took a deep breath and I waited in complete and utter silence.
"Bella," she said in an excruciatingly slow voice. "Jacob…hooked up with Leah Clearwater." The last part came out in a rush and I could practically see Angela biting her nails in nervousness.
"He…what?" I asked. It didn't make sense. Jacob had said he loved me, right before he left.
"He hooked up with Leah. I'm so sorry Bella I just thought you'd like to hear it from me," she said, pity clear in her voice.
"When?" I asked. I was surprised by my seemingly uncaring voice, as was Angela.
"Oh, um, yesterday. Everyone found out. It was odd, almost like he wanted everyone to know," she said thoughtfully.
"And when you say hook up do you mean just make out hook up or…?" I trailed off. She knew what I meant.
"Um…they…I heard they went all the way," she said timidly. I felt tears spring into my eyes, more angry tears then anything. Jacob had done this to me and then had the nerve to tell everyone about it. He had made Angela pity me in a way I never wanted to happen again.
"Thanks Ang. Thank you for telling me," I said as sincerely as I could manage. She seemed surprised.
"Are you okay Bells?" she asked. The tears started sliding down my cheeks at the old nickname he always used for me.
"I'm fine. Thank you. I have to go though, bye," I said quickly.
"Bye Bella," she said. I hung up, quickly dialing the familiar numbers that I now longed to forget.
"Hello?" he answered warily. He knew why I was calling.
"What the fuck Jacob!" I shrieked into the phone. I was pissed. I was pissed and I was hurt. A lethal combination. "How could you? After everything we've been through? After what just happened with Phil?" I pressed a hand to my forehead, trying to relieve some of the tension.
"I'm sorry Bella," he said. He didn't even have the decency to even try and deny it. What an ass. "I love you still Bella-" I cut him off then.
"Do you think that matters? Do you honestly expect me to figure you after what you and that little slut did?" I asked incredulously, and slightly insulted. He didn't really think I was weak enough to forgive him for that? "What Jake, I wouldn't put out so you found someone else to give you what you wanted? That's real classy." My voice was mocking but the pain was clearly underneath.
"I didn't do that just for the physical reasons. And no Bella I don't think it matters. And don't pretend like you're not relieved I did this either," he said, suddenly angry. "You've been wanting to dump me, I could tell."
"Jacob…I." I was taken aback. "That is beside the point. The point is we were still together and you just threw everything-" He cut me off this time.
"Bella do you really think I was going to sit back and watch this happen?" he asked, his voice full of ancient sadness.
"Watch what happen Jacob? What? Please inform me oh wise one," I snapped. I couldn't help being sarcastic. I was pissed.
"Watch you fall in love with him. Sit and wait for the call telling me you cheated on me with him," he said softly, slowly. I knew he was talking about.
"I wouldn't have done that Jake. Even if I was in love with him, I would've broken up with you first," I said, with complete honesty. I mean I had been about to kiss Edward the other day but I wouldn't have gone further than that without ending it with Jake first.
"I just wanted to hurt you before you could hurt me," Jacob explained. Which just made me even more livid.
"Do you think that matters? I hadn't done anything! I still haven't done anything! You're the only person hurting people in this relationship! Or I should say ex relationship, because we are so over! I hate you Jacob Black," I spat with as much spite in my voice as I could manage. I was breathing heavily. He was silent. Once I calmed down, the sadness broke into my voice. "You didn't even have the decency to actually break up with me? You had to cheat so I would break up with you?"
"Bella I knew you were to nice to break up with me for no reason. And so I gave you a reason. You were going to do it anyways though right? Don't lie," he said, his voice kind. I was still angry but I thought what the hell? Why not tell the truth.
"It's true Jake. I made my choice a few days ago and I was planning to break up with you. But I really wish you hadn't done this. You'll always be known as a cheater in my book and anyone who will listen to me. This was awful Jake. Mean. I was hurting because I had to hurt you. But I guess I don't have to worry about that anymore. You hurt me enough for the both of us." Tears were running freely down my face but I was keeping my voice under control.
"I would like to stay friends at least Bella," Jacob pleaded. I shook my head.
"No Jake. I don't think I can…handle that. I'm still incredibly pissed," I reminded him. He chuckled, dryly and sadly.
"You'll always have a place in my heart Bella. I just wish it was enough," he sighed. "I really am sorry."
"I know Jake. Well…I guess this is it then." This conversation was changing rapidly from angry to awkward.
"I guess so. Goodbye Isabella Swan. I'll miss you," he said, his voice kind and sad.
"Goodbye Jacob Black." We hung up at the same time. I sat on my bed for a minute and stared out of the window. I saw the old lady's pool and gave a wet chuckle, remembering Emmett's skinny dipping trip. I could clearly picture Rosalie running down the street in her rocker outfit, yelling as the neighbors turned to stare. I already felt at home in Phoenix. I felt like I had known the Hale's and the Cullen's for my whole life.
And the truth is, I did choose Edward. When I deliberated all night, I realized what I had been denying this whole time. That I was in love with Edward. Desperately, completely and irreversibly. From the very first time I kissed him and I felt the spark, the magic, the electricity and the love I knew it. I had just been in denial, trying to be faithful to Jacob, who turned out to be cheating scum anyways. That was the only good thing that would come out of all of this. I could now tell Edward how I felt, with a clear conscience. That I loved him. That I was in love with him. Although the tears kept falling I couldn't help but half smile at the thought. I went outside and sat on the familiar bench, knowing that it wouldn't take long for him to find me.
I let the tears fall freely. I broke out into deep, heaving sobs. I cried for the pain Jacob had caused me and the pain I knew I had caused him. I cried for the pain I had clearly caused Edward, even Alice. I cried until I felt a comforting pair of arms around me, stroking my hair and whispering soothingly into my ear. I buried my head in his chest, taking in his scent. It wasn't cologne, it wasn't a scent any factory could make. This was pure Edward and it smelled as good as his arms felt around me.
"What happened Bella?" he asked softly.
"Jacob cheated on me. With Leah Clearwater." I knew Edward had no idea who this was, but I wanted to tell him anyways. "I just broke up with him. He didn't even try and deny it."
"He's a jerk. He doesn't realize what a good thing he's giving up. You're a thousand times more beautiful then Leah Clearwater can ever hope to be," he whispered. His breath blew softly on my ears, sending shivers up and down my spine. Just more confirmation, more reason why I was sure I had made the right choice.
"And he didn't even tell me. I had to hear it from another girl in my school. She had such pity in her voice. She made me feel so pathetic," I mumbled into his chest.
"You're not pathetic Bella. You could never be pathetic. You're wonderful," Edward assured me.
"I'm just glad it's finally over. A long distance relationship with an asshole is quite troublesome," I joked half-heartedly. He chuckled lightly.
"Well if he is dumb enough to cheat on you then he doesn't deserve you. You can do much, much better," he promised. I know, I thought.
"This is the third time you've come to comfort me here Edward," I reminded him with a small laugh. He looked startled by my abrupt mood change and he flashed me his crooked grin.
"Third times the charm right?" he asked rhetorically.
"Right," I answered anyways. And then I kissed him.
It started out like our first kiss. With the sweet tenderness, the love, the hesitancy that always came with new kisses. Edward froze for a second when he felt my lips on his, unsure, surprised. But then he wrapped his arms around me tighter, his fingers knotting in my hair. I had never felt anything like this before. This was the definition of raw passion, of love and lust, of magic and electricity. Edward's tongue grazed my lower lip and I gladly allowed him entrance into my mouth. Our tongue's explored each other's mouths in ways I had only previously dreamed of. Edward's lips seemed to remove all traces of Jacob, claiming me for himself, marking his territory. I rubbed my fingers through his hair, one hand rubbing up and down his chest. I was in Heaven. I was in pure and utter bliss. It was magical.
And then it was over. Edward's fingers were untangling themselves from my hair, his lips were removing themselves from over mine, his tongue being pulled from my mouth. I wanted to hold onto him tighter, to pull him back to me and kiss him and love him all day. But he gently pulled my arms away from him, placing them softly in my lap. He placed his fingers under my chin and brought my face to look at him.
"Bella. This is wrong," he said quietly. If Edward hadn't been holding my chin, my jaw would've dropped to the floor. Not exactly the reaction I was expecting. "You don't really…want this. You're only doing this because of Jacob. Because he hurt you, you're taking comfort in me and it's for all the wrong reasons Bella. I truly do care for you." I could feel rejection rolling over me in waves. Tears began leaking from my eyes and he wiped them away with the back of his fingers. "But if we should ever come together…in this way, I'd rather it be on your own. Not because you need comfort after a break up. Goodbye Bella." He kissed my forehead softly, before turning and walking back to his house.
I don't know how long I sat there. It might have been a few minutes. Maybe a few hours. I couldn't tell. All I could think was he doesn't want me. Edward didn't want me. He wanted someone who would dump her boyfriend on her own terms for him. Not someone like me. He wanted someone perfect.
The sobs that came next were worse then any other time I had cried on this bench. The were rattling, shaking my whole body. The were loud and wet and felt like a hole was being punched in my chest, taking away my heart and lungs. I couldn't breathe. My heart couldn't beat. I was broken.
After attracting a few strange stares from neighbors I ran inside and collapsed into my bed, still sobbing. I cried all night. I refused to go to school in the morning. I couldn't. I was still sobbing. Alice came over and tried to comfort me but she didn't know what to say. She had just held me in her little arms and told me he would come to his senses. But she was wrong. I wasn't good enough for Edward. And I never would be. It seemed like my whole world had shattered around me. Like the glass had broken, falling onto my body, cutting the already scarred pieces. And Edward, my savior, my hero, was nowhere to be found. I was drowning and no one was there to pull me up. I was nothing.
A/N: Well I bet you didn't see that coming. The next chapter will be in Edward's POV and you'll know exactly why he did what he did. I mean I couldn't just have them get together. Then the story would be over and I wouldn't be able to write anymore. Sorry everyone and I know you probably all want to murder me in my sleep right now. Remember to review!! )