Sorry for the delay.
I'm supposed to give that warning: there's some yaoi at the end. It's something I call "lazy yaoi," where most of it is left to your imagination because the chapter is already several thousand words long.

"So are you coming tonight, Izuru-kun?" Shuuhei asked.

"Yeah, I…." Kira started before something about the question struck him. He paused and blinked slowly. "What did you call me?" he asked dazedly.

"Oh." Shuuhei looked slightly embarrassed. "I thought we might be on first-name basis . . ." He drifted off, but became less awkward as he saw Kira's befuddled expression. "You look confused," he laughed. "Has no one called you that before?"

"Of . . . course they have," Kira answered carefully, mind still in a place beyond the four walls of this room. He could hear Gin's voice speaking the word so provocatively, as he always did, beckoning him, whispering it in his ear in the dark. He hadn't heard it recently. "Please don't call me that, Hisagi-kun."

"Alright," Shuuhei said, sounding abashed.

"It's got nothing to do with respect," Kira added quickly, bowing politely to his elder, "it's just . . . personal preference."

Shuuhei nodded, and asked his question again. "You're coming then, Kira?"

"Yes," he said again, just like he had often over the past month.

"We'll meet in the usual place. I think Matsumoto-san is coming today, it'll be fun."

He took his leave, and Kira started walking back to his squad. Might as well get the paperwork done early again today. Now that he was unconfined from his Captain's grip, he had the option of doing the work when he wanted. Because he knew now that he was free.

The first two days he thought it had to be a fluke, that Gin was simply taking a break and would return to his normal tactics sometime soon. By the end of the week he was getting a bit on-edge, almost wanting to just get it over with. But after a second week, it was obvious that this would now be the new norm. And they had barely seen each other, let alone spoke, let alone anything else, so it was clearly going to stay that way.

Freedom meant that Kira had a lot of time on his hands. He spent a lot of it with his friends, some time getting to know other people in his squad, some other time taking walks around Sereitei. He hadn't held Wabisuke or practiced his swings in a while; it reminded him that it brought out the worst of himself.

His thoughts were so far off that he nearly bumped into Renji, who swerved to avoid him, but smacked him on the back to get his attention.

"Hi, Renji-san," Kira said, flustered.

"I was looking for you," Renji said. "I've got something to tell you. It's about your Captain. He's been visiting Rukia a lot lately."

"My Captain?" Kira said, incredulously. He could imagine Gin taking the long stroll down to Squad Thirteen and having a pleasant conversation over tea with his peer, smiling sweetly has he boiled the water. Kira's cheeks went pink and his brow furrowed.

"Yeah," Renji continued. "She does not like him, I can tell you that. You've got some amazing immunity to him or something. Hey . . .why are you blushing?"

"I'm not," Kira said quickly, putting his fingers to his cheek briefly when Renji wasn't looking and felt that it was hot. There was something in his gut that was hurting as well.

"You okay? You look sick."

"I don't feel so well," he admitted, glancing off to the side.

"Tell me about it," Renji went on. "Glad you feel that way, too. I was hoping to convince you to talk to him about it."

"Talk to who about it?"

"Your Captain, genius."

"I . . . can't do that," Kira said, abashed. "It's brash, isn't it? Telling him to stop doing something . . ." He bit his lip, realizing that he wasn't actually talking about Rukia anymore.

"Alright, fine," shrugged Renji, not noticing the suspiciously guilty tone with which his friend spoke. "Guess I'll see you later. You should probably lay down, though . . .maybe you ate something weird."

"Maybe," Kira answered, putting both arms across his stomach. As Renji turned away, he sped off, running into his building, his innards burning almost as though he were going to vomit. Tripping over the hem of his hakama, he made his way to the sink where he bent his head over the drain, breathing heavily until the feeling subsided. He gripped the porcelain on either side of the sink to steady himself and lifted his head up to glance around the room.

It was empty, again. That was not a surprise: but why, then, did it suddenly make his head ache? Why did the sight of the vacant couch make his insides lurch? Change, that's all, he thought. Just not used to it this way yet.

He made to get outside again. Some fresh air was probably a good idea and a nice walk was what he needed to clear his head.

"Nope. That's news ta me."

A familiar voice carried through the door to his ears. Kira stopped short as he saw Gin's slender silhouette outlined in the sunlight, conversing with someone a head shorter. For a moment, Kira couldn't breathe, but caught himself, and resumed normal respiration.

He shut his eyes tightly and rubbed his head. What is wrong with me? His heart pounded as he watched Gin's shadow through the door, watched his hands as he gestured naturally to whomever he was speaking to. So tall, lean, hands delicate but strong. The long fingers used to touch him so, tracing his cheeks and running over his chest. But no longer.

The door slid open. Kira jumped away from the door quickly as Gin stepped into the room, pausing slightly when he saw his subordinate standing there. "'Lo, Izuru," he smiled. "Yer blushin', ya know."

"I know," Kira answered automatically, touching his face again.

"Well, stop thinkin' dirty thoughts and get back ta yer paperwork, will ya?"

Kira blushed even harder at this. "Taichou, what . . .?" he started, trying to disagree, but Gin had already stepped into a different room. This had been the longest conversation the two of them had shared all week. Kira shook his head hard at the thought of wanting to follow him and continue it further. But why was he resisting? If he was free, he was then free to have a longer conversation with his Captain. It was normal, wasn't it?

Of course, he told himself. Nonetheless, he did not pursue the idea and proceeded to start on the paperwork.

He met up with Shuuhei before it had gotten dark, because he had been restless all day, eager to get up and do something. Shuuhei had been taking a nap when he came round, but was quick to stir, and draw his sword, when he heard someone at the door. When he saw it was Kira, he had blinked the sleep out of his eyes and the two of them walked to the field where they were to meet up with members of Squads Ten and Eleven. They had both been utterly silent.

"Ah, there's Matsumoto-san," Hisagi said, breaking the awkward quiet, using a hand to shield his eyes from the setting sun and looking out towards where a red-headed woman was running over excitedly. Just looking at her made the color in Kira's face rise once again.

Gin's squad? He heard her say, even though her lips were not moving. And he finally recognized the hard feeling in his stomach that had been following him around all day as it crept upon him once again. It was jealousy. He closed his eyes gently and breathed deep, trying to make it go away. But it did not. It wasn't just a feeling, it was a thought as well, and try as he might to push it from his conscious, it would not leave.

He couldn't pay attention to the antics of his fellow shinigami, even though he was sure he would have had a lot of fun if he did. No, his mind was on something else as the sake was passed around and the others swapped stories. The headaches, the nausea, the bizarre fantasies . . . something had to be done about them. And he knew what he needed to do to bring them all to an end.

As they all parted ways that night, Kira hobbled back to his Squad, both reluctant to get there and unwilling to stall any longer. He didn't like the idea of what he had to do, but he understood now what was wrong with him, though he did not want to admit it. At first, he told himself he just missed the company and the conversation. But at the end of the day, he realized that it was more than just loneliness: after all, he had companionship. It was longing.

He bit his lip as he reached the door, took a breath, and slid it open: there was no one in the main room. At this, he gave a small sigh of relief. Maybe this was a sign he should wait until tomorrow. Better prepare himself.

He stepped quietly into his room where he stripped down to the thin white kimono worn under his clothes and laid down on the bed under the stiff blankets and closed his eyes. But after what might have been only a minute, they were open again, staring up into the black ceiling. His mind would still not turn off, his head would still not stop aching and his heart still beat unevenly. He sat up again fifteen minutes later and pressed his hands to his eyes. It could not wait.

He crawled out of bed and stood up, the cold and hard wood pressing against his bare feet as he made his way dazedly to the bedroom next door.

As he entered the dark room, he heard something stirring on the floor. Gin had heard his creaking footsteps. His Captain sat up slowly in his bed and lit two lamps so the room was suddenly flooded with light.

"Hiya, Izuru. Watcha doin' here so late?" he asked, smiling up at his assistant. In the wavering light that cast odd shadows across his face, Kira could make out his expression: he didn't seem surprised at all.

Kira did not answer right away. Like beforehand, he didn't know how to word it, but now he also had difficulty in admitting it. He was hoping Gin would say it instead.

"Ya miss me?" Gin pressed, almost as a joke, but the both of them knew the question was dead serious.

God, yes, Kira thought, but he didn't dare speak the words. Instead he stood dumbly at the doorway, childishly playing with the dead ends of his hair, pulse escalating.

Gin frowned as his silence, but the corners of his mouth twitched. "No?" he said in mock solemnity. "Then what're ya doin here?"

"Couldn't sleep," he muttered automatically. It may not have been the entire truth, but it was a start.

"I can see that," Gin replied, only adding to the uncomfortable atmosphere.

They had not conversed in nearly a month, and now he stood here before his Captain, asking to be taken in, like a child. Kira let go of his hair, suddenly embarrassed at his own juvenile behavior. Then, Gin said something that made his blood run cold.

"Did ya actually think yer gonna get sleep in here?"

Kira shivered involuntarily, a cold sweat breaking out on his forehead. His Captain was smiling again. No, he hadn't expected to actually get sleep, but the fact that Gin knew it as well scared him. It was almost as though he was waiting for this moment for a very long time, like he was anticipating it.

"Go on," Gin called softly, keeping his gaze fixated on Kira's eyes and baring his teeth in a frighteningly wicked smile. "Say it."

Kira did not oblige, still afraid. Gin knew what he sought, but clearly wasn't going to let him have it so easily. It wasn't going to be as simple as he wanted it to be. He looked at the soft mattress, thinking about what it would be like to lay beside his Captain once again. Warm. Safe. The opposite of lonesome.

"Say it," Gin repeated, cruelly.

"I . . ." Kira breathed. "I missed you, Taichou."

Gin shifted over and pulled back the blanket, clearing a space on the mattress and wordlessly inviting Kira to come sit down. Kira paused, but soon complied, shuffling over meekly, kneeling down next to his Captain and burying his face in his chest. Gin stroked his hair lightly and held him.

"Now, that weren't so hard," Gin scolded.

Kira didn't answer, silently leaning his head upon his Captain's shoulder lovingly. He wanted so badly to fell the warmth of being in his Captain's arms again, the comfort of his touch and his smile. Even if that meant . . .

He lifted his head expectantly and parted his lips, waiting for those of his Captain's to come forward and brush against them. But they didn't.

Gin's hand fell upon Kira's neck, then shoulder, traveling down Kira's chest slowly until it reached the sash on the white kimono. Kira exhaled audibly as Gin touched him, but stopped the hand before it undid the sash. Gin sensed Kira's hesitance. He took the boy's hand in his own and guided it to pull open the knot at his waist. He held it still as he and Kira together opened the white kimono and removed it off the latter's shoulders, leaving him quite bare. He wasn't cold; on the contrary, Kira felt his temperature rising.

Gin moved quickly, but delicately, taking his subordinate by the wrists and pinning him flat down on the mattress. Kira awaited the touch of his lips as hot breath beat on his skin. And as Gin lowered his face to Kira's, his heart beat faster, pounding hard adjacent to his Captain's heart, and as the lips met his, his mind raced and kissed him back with equal force and want. And for the next few hours, he could focus on nothing else but the feel of Gin's body entwined with his own.

Thanks again to everyone who sent me websites. You saved me.