I was reading on ff-dot-net the other day (which is actuality a rarity . . . and it wasn't even for my top 6 couples) and saw that on almost all of them it said "Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece." And then I realized, shit, I never wrote that. So here it is, in case you haven't figured this out by now.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. I also don't own Bleach, but sometimes I wish I did.

The meeting next morning seemed shorter than usual, possibly because Kira had not been paying much attention to it. Rather, he had been dwelling on fond memories of the morning. It was pleasant: for the first time in months, he woke up feeling refreshed. It was like taking a breath of fresh air, and he had suddenly felt as though a huge burden had been lifted off his shoulders. And Gin was there beside him, holding him, and there was nothing else in the world.

The night before had turned out unexpectedly and almost the exact opposite of what Kira had been hoping for. But Gin had whispered sweet words in his ear, knowingly describing both of their desires, and promising they could keep this secret, adding "that's half the fun." And he had kissed him like never before, tender and sweet rather than rough and forceful, and Kira felt a carefree bliss as their tongues met, as Gin's taste and smell flooded his senses. For that moment, he had the strange sensation that he didn't want to go anywhere at all, just stay right there, in that moment forever.

"Hello, Renji-kun!" Hinamori's voice echoed in his head, and Kira broke out of his daydream. A tall redhead to whom Hinamori waved cheerfully was standing in the doorway, nodding back a pleasant greeting. Renji looked slightly troubled and his hair was ragged as though he had been too distracted to take much care of it that morning. But he smiled nonetheless, waving to Hinamori and Hisagi in turn before turning to Kira and speaking.

"Er, Kira, I need your help with something," he said quickly, gesturing behind him to indicate he wanted him to follow.

"Sure," Kira answered, slightly suspicious of Renji, but intrigued nonetheless on what his real intentions might be. Waving goodbye to Hinamori in the hopes that he would see her again in a few moments, he followed Renji down to the grounds and past the main building.

They continued to walk for a while through the crowds and through the various squads until they reached the middle of a petrified forest, long dead and long abandoned. It was a good place for meditation because it was dead silent, for even the birds had given up on making it inhabitable. After taking a good glance around the area to double-check that they weren't being overheard, Renji folded his arms and began to speak.

"I actually needed to talk to you, Kira," he confessed.

Kira had expected this. "What is it, Abarai-kun?" he asked, preparing himself for another interrogation. I thought they were waiting for me to come to them. But he was ready to deflect this time, if it was necessary.

"It's about your Captain," Renji started uneasily. He was looking at the dirt.

"Has he been bothering Kuchiki-san again?" Kira said in exasperation. "Because I already told you I can't do anything--"

"It's not Rukia he's bothering, Kira," Renji continued hurriedly, wanting to get it off his chest, "it's you."

"What?" Kira gave a small laugh, though he could feel his heart speed up a little. "We've had this conversation before, Abarai-kun. I know you don't like Ichimaru Taichou, but he's a worthy Captain--"

"Save it," Renji spat. His face was absolutely serious, though a slightly disgusted expression was beginning to dawn on it as he contemplated what he had to say. "Last night," he began, but stopped to take a breath before continuing. "I ran into Hisagi . . . he said he didn't ask you about why you were acting so weird . . . so I went to find you, and . . I did. By the library. I found . . . the two of you. Together."

Kira went pale, the smile gone as he remembered unsuccessfully confronting his Captain, remembered how the night there had turned out. "What . . . are you talking about?" he asked, but could not hide the fear in his quivering voice. All the contentedness of that morning drained from him in an instant.

"Don't play dumb," Renji said, his voice on the rise and looking quite as uncomfortable as Kira felt. "I saw, I fucking saw you."

"You . . . ?" Kira said, mind racing. How could he? Kira asked himself desperately. Shit, shit, shit.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Renji snapped, raising his head and staring straight into Kira's eyes. Kira took a step back, trembling. "You git!" he started, both furious and horrified. "Is that what's been going on? Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell us? We could've helped you, we could've done something! Shit! No wonder you've been acting . . ." He shook his head. He clearly had been holding this in all night and all morning.

"I . . ." Kira wrung his hands. Renji was getting the wrong idea, but he was unable to explain himself. How could Renji understand, he himself didn't understand. But he knew one thing: last night had been consensual, and his face grew hot just thinking about that fact. He wondered if it would be better for Renji to know this or not.

"How long has this been going on?" Renji asked, voice becoming less demanding and trying to be more comforting. "A week, a month, a year, what?"

Kira didn't answer him, ready to sink into the ground and die like the trees around them.

"I suppose it doesn't really matter," Renji said gently. "But you won't have to worry anymore. I'm going to report him."

"No!" Kira cried automatically. After Gin had spent so much time convincing him they weren't going to get caught. "No! Don't! Don't say anything, please!"

"What?" Renji called out, taken aback. "Isn't this what you want? It has to end, Kira. It's not right. He's . . ." Renji shuddered. "He's abusing you."

"Please, Abarai-kun," Kira whimpered, "don't say anything."

"What's wrong with you? Why not?"

"Just don't!" Kira cried desperately, grabbing the front of Renji's robes, pleading. "I'm asking you as a friend! Please don't say anything!"

Renji stared back into Kira's eyes, which were wide and frightened. "I've never seen you so terrified," he said in wonder. "What do you think is going to happen?"

Kira looked uncomfortably down at the ground. He didn't want to think about what could happen. Everyone would know, first and foremost. And would Gin be demoted? Exiled? Would he take his subordinate down with him, explaining that they both violated the unwritten rule?

"Exactly," Renji said, taking Kira's silence as an answer and pushing away out of his grip. "I can't let this go. I'm reporting it. Unless you want to tell me why you think I shouldn't--"

"Because," Kira started, hysteria taking root in his chest. And without thinking about it, he drew his sword, pointing it straight out and resting the tip at the base of Renji's throat. "I said so!"

Renji looked down at the sword and then into the deranged and desperate face of its holder. "Put away your sword, dumbass."

"I – I can't," Kira answered, hand shaking so badly that he cut a small slit in the side of Renji's neck.

"Put it away," Renji said louder. "And don't be an idiot."

"I can't put it away," Kira repeated despairingly.

"Why are you protecting him?!" Renji shouted in exasperation.

"Ichimaru Taichou -- is my Captain," Kira said defiantly. "It's my duty to protect him."

"Tuh, so that's how it is," Renji muttered. "That's what bullshit he's been telling you? To obey silently is your 'duty'? That taking what he throws at you is your 'duty'? You're being brainwashed!"

"Don't talk about what you don't know," Kira said darkly.

"I know as much as I saw!" Renji shot back. "And all I can figure is that you're afraid he's going to kill you or . . . I dunno, you're falling for him."

Kira said nothing, beads of sweat running down his face and neck. Renji stared at him for a few moments in silence.

"Fine! I won't report it," he said, finally. "I promise. If it means that goddamn much to you."

Kira withdrew the sword at once, letting it slip from his fingers onto the ground beside him. He covered his face with both hands, wishing everything would just go away, wishing that Renji would suddenly forget what he saw or that he would just let it go as an illusion. Renji stared at him with great pity, shaking his head in dumbfounded silence. He opened his mouth to speak before a small voice broke the silence instead.

"Renji," Kira pleaded softly, tearing, "please don't tell Hinamori-san. She would die."

"I won't say a word," Renji muttered, "but I hope that you work up the courage to say something."

Kira shook his head. "I can't."

"If you're afraid, Kira," Renji urged, "let me say something for you!"

"I'm not afraid," Kira said through gritted teeth. He looked up into Renji's face.

"Then why the hell won't you . . . unless . . ." And as the truth dawned on him, he made a variety of strange faces, first comprehension, then confusion, then disgust, and finally outright surprise and horror. "Oh my God." Renji was absolutely horrified, his hand stretched over his open mouth, eyes wide and full of disbelief. Kira couldn't look at him and closed his eyes tightly, hoping he would awaken from this bad dream when he opened them again. "You're – Kira, you're – oh my GOD." He closed his own eyes momentarily, putting a hand to his head as though trying to understand an extremely difficult concept. "This explains everything," he said suddenly. "This explains –everything. I mean -- him, Kira?! Really?"

"Please . . . just stop," Kira muttered, running his hands through his hair miserably. "Stop talking."

"I can't believe this," Renji went on, growing increasingly angrier. "How did this happen? How the hell could this possibly happen?"

"It doesn't matter," Kira said, not entirely sure why he was saying anything at all. "Just . . . let this go."

"Let it go?! You're sleeping with your Captain!" he hissed. "That son-of-a-bitch is going to get you into more trouble than he's worth!"

"Don't make such a big deal over this," Kira yelled, trying to mask his panic with volume. "You're making everything worse."

"This is a big deal!" Renji shouted back, and Kira could see a vein in his temple throbbing. "What the hell were you thinking?! 'It's okay, Captain's orders'?! Do you honestly believe this is okay? It's not! I'm no Vice-Captain, but I can tell you, this isn't part of your goddamn 'Lieutenant's duty!'"

"Stop it!" Kira cried angrily, holding back an urge to slap Renji. The guilty feelings he had this entire time bubbling in his stomach were made ten times stronger by Renji's accusations. "Stop blaming him! I have free will, I chose this!" His voice cracked on the last words.

"No, Kira," Renji insisted. "Whether or not you think you're choosing this, he's taking advantage of you!"

"No, he's not!"

"What good could come of this? You're not happy! Back in Squad Five, you were, but now you're fucking miserable!"

"You don't know how I feel!" Kira mumbled, annoyed that Renji was actually making sense.

Renji ignored his comment, tired of being contradicted. "You were better off without him! Can't you see what he's done to you?"

"Shutup! You don't know what you're talking about!"

"You're a wreck, you're distant, and you're paranoid! End this, get away, go back to Squad Five -- "

"Enough!"

Renji stopped and finally took a good look at his friend, crimson face matching the color of his bloodshot eyes, blonde hair sticking out strangely as though he had just gone through a heated battle. He wasn't crying, but was close to it.

"I know!" he answered. "I know I'm miserable and I know I'm a mess, and I've done horrible things, but I can't leave him! I won't!"

Renji considered him for a minute, contemplating something. "Do you . . ." Renji struggled to get the words out, even though he knew them well and knew how to piece them together. It was just so difficult to hear a response. "Do . . . you love him?"

Kira hadn't expected such a direct question. "I don't know."

It was a fair question, but he didn't have an answer. Certainly he didn't hate Gin, although, according to Renji's definition, he was entitled to. But love? He had read a lot of books that included this topic. People in love took walks on the beach together and couldn't stand being away from each other, content to just stand in the same room and look at each other for hours. They often reported fluttering in their chest at thoughts of the other. Kira could feel a flutter; but he didn't think it was love. He felt something he could define as a longing, the desire to be held by his Captain, to kiss him, to simply stand beside him. But if love was putting the other before himself, giving everything he could even if it hurt him, caring about the other's wants and needs . . . then maybe this was love. Love did not usually include physical pain and fear and doubt, but perhaps this was a special case.

"That's not a 'no,'" Renji noted.

"It's not a 'no.'"

"Okay." Renji sat down in exhaustion and motioned that Kira should do the same. He inhaled deeply through his mouth and let it out in a loud sigh, clearly thinking very hard about something. "I can see that nothing I can say is going to change your mind," he said. "Clearly. Somehow . . . you're content with your situation. So, I am going to keep my mouth shut about all of this."

Kira broke out into a true smile. "Thank you, Renji." And now tears began to fall from his eyes. He covered his face in an attempt to hold them back.

"But if he hurts you," Renji continued, shrugging off the gratitude, "I'm going to have to get involved. Now," he clapped his hands together, "all that's left is to figure what I'm going to tell Hinamori and Hisagi."

Ps. I believe it is appropriate and ironic that Renji be the one to find out. 0.0
Pps. Anonymous Sister of the Author -- you were pretty damn close.
Ppps. Am I getting obsessed with trees?