Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

In Six Months I Lost My Mind But Found My Heart

Chapter Seven: Jealousy

January 28th

5 Months 1 Week & 1 Day Left

Edward's POV

This last week has been hell and all because of one person, Bella. When we went shopping I thought it was going to be a nightmare but eventually it turned out rather fun, minus the bus ride. That was just ghastly.

The main thing that stands out from the time in the mall was seeing Bella change. I don't want to sound like a pervert but I was completely mesmerised by her. She looked fantastic, truly amazing. Then later on when she put her hand on my chest on the bus, the warmth of her against my skin was captivating.

All these stupid thoughts have caused me to view her completely different. I can't stop imagining her in her underwear now. It's killing me. Every time she's near me now I panic. My breathing picks up, my palms become sweaty, I lose all coherent thoughts and make an idiot out of myself. It's only getting worse. But I can't exactly stay out of her way since we do sleep under the same roof.

I hate when lust gets the better of me, especially when there is no one around to help relieve the tension. Lauren has said that if I needed anything I was to call her but that thought alone makes me grimace. I know what she wants from me but there is no way that will be happening. I absolutely refuse to be her show dog for the next two months.

Since I've been taking more cold showers than I care to admit I've kept my distance from Bella hoping that the problem will go away itself. So far I've had no such luck.

Though this has opened another issue for me. When she's not around I feel weird, I kinda miss her, but I will never admit that to anyone. Alice is still harping on about what a cute couple we would make so there is no way I'm going to add fuel to the fire by telling her that a tiny part of me likes Bella. Just as a friend.

Who you imagine in her underwear?

That is just a minor glitch in the friends' category. Give me a few days and I'll be fine.

When I'm not around Bella I look to see where she is, just to check if she's okay. I have to say I'm not happy with what I see. That Mike guy is being a pain in the ass. He's practically stalking her. Every time she sits near me he comes over and joins us. One time she was on her way to the bathroom and he followed her there then waited outside for her. I can't help my mind from screaming 'STALKER!' every time I see him.

He's always around and I just want to kill him. Jacob is also getting in the way, though he's doing it more subtly than that twat Mike. Jacob only comes over when he has a reason to and usually jumps in to be Bella's partner for tasks, not that I'm bothered considering if I asked she'd probably turn me down.

It was lunch hour for me so I was sitting at the back of the lunch hall watching a few other students mingle in with their trays of rotten food. I don't eat anything this school has to offer, I would rather starve than eat that crap again. Instead of a tray of slush on the table I had five or six piano compositions that I was adding the finer tuning to.

At least this school has a piano I can use which is more than I expected. Bella stays late a few days a week and she managed to convince Alice to join the events and clubs she's in so that left me with nothing to do. Therefore Alice found me a piano and made it possible for me to practice here. That way I won't be rusty when I return to my normal life.

A week after I return there is a recital of some sort, I don't know details, I don't care about the details, all I know is that I am performing one of my own pieces. I would not be able to perform to the best of my ability by practicing in one week, I need to start the extensive process now and make sure it's perfect.

So I spend my lunch hours going over the pieces I'm considering to play then making minor adjustments as something just doesn't sound right. Most of the time I'm alone but today the one person who I wanted to stay clear of, other than Mike, decided to sit down opposite me.

Bella pulled the chair back and smiled and me as she sat down. I quickly moved the pieces of paper out of her way so she could put her tray down. She nodded her thanks. Already my head was spinning just by her mere presence. What is happening to me?

"Do you mind that I'm joining you?"She asked softly, as though she was worried about what I was going to say.

"No not at all." I didn't look up when I spoke to her, if I don't look at her I can answer in some kind of language that she might be able to understand.

"So how have you been?" I noticed her glance over at me again then return to the food on the tray. I do have to say it looks worse than what I ate last time. How can she even bring herself to eat that?

"Fine thank you." I said debating on which note would be better in the sixth bar of my final, and favourite, composition.

"Edward?"

"Mm-hmm." Looking over the notes something just seemed wrong, if I maybe-

She placed her hand on mine.

That definitely got a reaction from me.

I swept my hand away from hers as fast as possible and shuffled the papers up to leave.

"What have I done wrong?" She sounded hurt and that was the only reason I looked her in the eyes.

"Nothing." It was barely a whisper; I don't even know why I said it that quiet.

"But you've been avoiding me like the plague." She played nervously with her sleeve, not looking at me anymore. "I thought we were trying to be friends."

"We are."

"Then why have you only said three words to me, minus this conversation, since the shopping trip?" She looked me straight in the eyes and I felt insignificant under her gaze. A swarm of emotions hit me when I looked into her eyes; she looked sad, angry, annoyed, and upset, all at the same time. I caused that...I think.

"It's complicated." There was no way I was going to tell her that every time she's around me I undress her with my eyes. Nope, not going to happen. That would earn me the label of pervert since stalker is already taken.

"Explain, please?" Her tone was so soft and vulnerable I had to think twice before realising what she said. Time to make up a lie.

"I don't like one of your friends and he's always-" Mike came and sat down.

"Hey guys, mind if I join you? Great thanks."

"-around." I finished looking straight at her. Her mouth formed the perfect 'o' in realisation then she licked her lips and bit the bottom one. I swear she was trying to kill me with fantasies. What I would love to do with those li-

"Mike can you give Edward and me a few minutes. I really need to talk to him about something." Bella asked giving him her best dazzling smile. It worked, on both of us.

"Okay. Sure. Anything for you." Then Mike stood up and sat down one table away. We both shot him what-the-hell-are-you-doing looks which prompted him to get up and move further away. Thank God for that.

"Sorry about him. He's kinda protective."

"If you say so." I mumbled gathering my final belongings up so I could leave. Standing up she turned to me one last time.

"Please stay? I want to talk to you." How could I refuse her? I sat down immediately, just catching Mike's glare my way that I wasn't leaving. Jackass.

"What can I do for you Bella? What do you want from me?" That came out much harsher than I intended. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again and shook her head.

"You know what its okay, you go-"

"EDDIE!" Lauren screamed in my ear, cutting Bella off. Lauren leant over and kissed my cheek, someone, and anyone, please give me bleach this instant so I can remove the germs she's just given me.

"Hey Lauren." I said grimacing inwardly at what she was wearing. Why wear a shirt if it's see through? She caught my eyes wandering and leaned over to whisper in my ear, clearly thinking I enjoyed what I saw. Hell no.

"Like what you see? There's more to come big boy."

Big boy? What the hell? When did I ever become 'big boy'?

I was pulled out of my thoughts with the sound of Bella slamming her chair into the table behind her as she stood up.

"Thanks for lunch." She practically sneered as she walked away. What just happened and why do I have a funny feeling it's my fault?

This is just so crap.

Watching her storm away made my mind run to the gutter again. The sway of her hips brought another round of fantasies to mind. If only she knew why I wasn't talking to her.

"So now that she's out the way...why don't you and I go find somewhere private and I'll show you what else is on offer." She winked and grabbed my arm pulling me up from the comfort of the table.

This girl is unbelievable, and not in a nice way. She just offered herself up like a buffet to me. Where have all the self respecting girls gone?

She just stormed away from your table.

But that self respecting girl wouldn't look my way. Especially after what just happened, and I'm not even sure what that was.

As Lauren pulled me to a secluded spot my mind was thinking of Bella. Something's changed between us and I can't work out what. Just as I was about to be shoved into what I can only presume was a storage cupboard, I spotted Bella joking around with Jacob.

Why did that make me angry? They're friends, just like me and her.

But I bet he doesn't think of her in her underwear.

I'm so confused and this whining girl just begging for attention is getting on my nerves.

"Lauren I have to go." With that I left her pouting in the hall as I moved over to see Bella more clearly.

She no longer looks annoyed which I guess is good. She looks happy. Yet why am I jealous that it's Jacob making her happy and not me?

"What's up bro?" Alice said as she ruffled my hair.

"Bro?" I raised an eyebrow at her and smirked.

"Okay fine, I'll try again. What is going on with you Edward? Happy?" She smiled and put her arm round my shoulder. We must have looked ridiculous due to the height difference. A small Alice having her arm wrapped high over my shoulder when I easily tower over her.

"What did I do wrong at lunch?" She eyed me quizzically.

"How did you know I was watching?"

"You always are. I wouldn't be surprised if you sent her over to me in the first place." She smirked which just confirmed what I thought.

"You made her jealous." I burst out laughing and shook my head.

"No you are definitely mistaken there sister. There is no possible way I could have made Bella jealous. Jealous of what?"

"Of Lauren. You were paying her more attention than you were to Bella. Come on Edward you looked as though you were undressing Lauren with your eyes. Of course Bella would be annoyed. She came to have lunch with you and by the seams of things you came to ogle at Lauren's chest. Are you that much of an idiot?"

"Hey!" I protested. "How was I to know that I was doing all that? Anyway why would Bella want me to pay attention to her?" Alice shot me her are-you-kidding-look.

"Because you two are meant to be acting civil to one another but you've avoided her completely, you fool." I sighed and looked over at Bella who was still joking around with Jacob.

That tinge of jealousy came back. Shit...I think I might like her. Sighing again I put my head in my hands admitting defeat. This was going to be a long 5 months...and we're just getting started.