HOME
'Home is not where you live, but where you are understood.'
-- Christian Morgenstern
- Saturday -
It was dark when Meredith blinked groggily at the feeling of a hand gently shaking her awake from her napping spot in the passenger seat of the silver Explorer.
"We're here," Derek's soft voice penetrated her muddled conscious. She yawned and met his worried eyes. "Are you okay?"
She smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Sorry I fell asleep. I didn't mean to."
He shook his head. "Don't worry about it. You obviously needed it." He smirked. "Though one day I may want you to drive from the airport, so eventually you'll have to stay awake to see the turns..."
Meredith laughed. This was her second trip to New York with Derek. And the second time she had slept from the moment they left the airport. "Next time." She promised.
He scoffed and leaned across the center consol to kiss her. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry I've been..." she trailed off and sighed, "Weird. It's not that I don't want to be here. It's just..."
"Last time wasn't a one time thing," Derek stated gently when she didn't continue.
Meredith smiled. He had, of course, nailed her issues right on. Seven months ago she had come to New York afraid, and had found a family. And when she had left, there hadn't been a doubt in her mind that she would be welcome the next time. But right now, seven months later, she wasn't nearly as certain. She had kept in touch with Carol and all of Derek's sisters, but there was still a nagging voice in her head that told her she wasn't enough.
"Get out of the car," Derek commanded firmly, reaching to release her seatbelt.
She swallowed. "Why?"
"Cause you obviously need a hug, and I can't reach you from here."
Meredith smiled and nodded as she opened her door. They had requested a smaller car, but the Explorer was the only vehicle available.
She stepped out onto the asphalt driveway and stretched her limbs before Derek met her on her side of the car, his arms enveloping her in a tight embrace. And for several minutes he just held her, staying silent, knowing there was nothing he could say.
Meredith closed her eyes and buried her face in his shoulder, breathing in his comforting scent as she calmed; her anxiety dissipating into the air, pushed out of her by the feeling of being loved. He was rubbing her back with his palm, and she allowed herself to be lulled by the tender contact. It never ceased to amaze her how strong their relationship had become. She may have lost faith in people and the world in general, but she had never lost faith in him; in them. He hadn't let her. He had been her rock. And he had never allowed her to feel guilty for the things she couldn't handle.
"I love you," Meredith spoke quietly, breaking the silence.
"Mmm," he mumbled as he pressed his lips against hers. "I love you too."
She sighed and met his knowing look. "And I know I have nothing to worry about."
He nodded.
"And that your family likes me, and everything will be fine this week."
He nodded again, a laughing smile appearing on his lips.
"What?"
He laughed. "Nothing. It's just...you've stolen my job. You know all the right things to say."
She smiled. "Sorry I stole your job. But believe me, even without saying the words, you just being here is extremely effective."
"So you still need me?" He asked lightly, a hint of playfulness in his tone as he tilted his head.
Meredith rolled her eyes. "Always."
"Good." He kissed her again.
She made an exasperated noise when he pulled away. "This is stupid. I don't even know why I'm scared."
"It's not stupid if it's how you feel."
She glared at him. "You're annoyingly calm and rational, have I ever told you that?"
He laughed. "Only a few times..."
She sighed and leaned into his warmth again, her arms looping around his neck.
"Okay," Derek said gently. "I know you know this, but I'm going to remind you anyway. They don't want to be your family because they have to. They want to be your family because they choose to. It's not the same as..." He trailed off and they both knew what he was omitting.
She buried her face in his shoulder. "I know. I know it's not the same." Her body shuddered involuntarily.
He gave her a moment to collect herself and pulled away far enough to meet her eyes. "You do know that they would never...?"
She took a shaky breath. "I'm trying to. Most of me does; but there's that little voice in the back of my head that always seems to think it's possible..."
He furrowed his brow. "Mer, you do know that I would never-"
She cut him off by nodding. "I do know, Derek. The voice is smart enough to stay away from you." She smiled, knowing he would understand her words. He always did, no matter how obscure and rambly they were. "And to be honest, it stays away from my friends. But to anyone who I could be an obligation or whatever... I just..."
"Hey," he said gently, cupping her face as her eyes glistened with unshed tears. "I hate more than anything that you're afraid. And I know that only time can fix it. But Meredith, you are not an obligation to the people in this house." He motioned his head towards the warm, inviting house with the lit up windows, where his entire family was waiting. "They didn't have to like you. You were my dirty-mistress-slash-slutty-intern," he said lightly, all the while rolling his eyes as he used the terms he hated for her.
Meredith laughed. "Don't forget adulterous whore."
Derek visibly flinched, even though he was still smiling. "I'm not calling you that. I gave you the other two." He shook his head. "And I hate all of them."
She couldn't help but smile at his insistence.
"The point is," he continued. "They could have chosen to side against you quite easily. But you won them over in a few days. They like you, Meredith. There's no obligation in their minds."
"You promise?"
He nodded. "I do."
She closed her eyes and smiled as he pressed his forehead against hers. She breathed deeply three times, and on the fourth she opened her eyes and pulled away, moving to stand on her own two feet again. It was nice to be able to let him support her every once in a while; it made her feel stronger when she was standing on her own. And it was even better that she wasn't afraid to do so anymore. He would always be there for her. She was sure of it.
"You good?" He asked gently.
She nodded and offered him a smile. "Yeah. I am."
He pressed his lips against hers for several seconds.
"I'm glad we're here," she told him after he pulled away. "I know I'm doing the Meredith thing and being nervous for no reason, but I am glad to be here."
"Good," he said softly. "I want you to be comfortable here. I want you to feel at home."
"You're here," she told him quietly. "That makes it home."
Hi face lit up at her words. "Good."
With one last deep breath Meredith motioned that she was okay and they moved together to unload their suitcases. He shut the back hatch of the Explorer and smiled warmly at her before leading the way through the maze of cars towards the front door.
000
"You're finally here!" Carol's excited voice called as she hurried into the front hall. The rest of the family, including Mark, had arrived between Thursday night and Friday afternoon, but taking nearly two weeks off was too much for a second year resident, so Meredith had been forced to work until late Friday, leaving her and Derek as the last to arrive Saturday night.
"Hi, mom," Derek greeted as she pulled him into a tight hug. "How does it feel to be sixty-five?"
She scoffed and jokingly swatted at her son. "I'm still only sixty-four, Derek."
"Yeah," Anna spoke as she joined her mother into the front hall. "Sixty-four years, three-hundred and sixty-four days..." She trailed off as she glanced downwards at her watch, "...Twenty-two hours and thirteen minutes."
Carol huffed, but ignored her daughter as she released her son and stepped towards Meredith. "Meredith, dear, good to see you."
"You too, Carol," Meredith responded as the woman hugged her tightly, and Meredith hugged back, her earlier nervousness dissipating at the reminder of the maternal hug, and she felt her guard drop a level. Derek had a wonderful family. And they liked her.
"Okay, let's see it," Carol spoke as she released Meredith and reached for her left hand, and held it up in the light. "Oh, it's beautiful, dear," she said as she gazed approvingly at the engagement ring Derek had chosen for her. A single round diamond was the focal point, flanked on both sides by a small, lavender-purple diamond set into the platinum band. Meredith absolutely loved it, and if it wasn't for surgery, she would never take it off.
"It had to be beautiful," Derek stated as he pulled away from his sister. "Or it would have gotten lost on her."
Meredith rolled her eyes as Derek leaned close and kissed her cheek, his hand snaking around her waist.
Carol laughed. "You sound like your father. He used to say things like that." There was a hint of sadness in her voice, but mostly pride for her son. She turned back to Meredith and released her hand. "Congratulations in person, dear. I couldn't be more thrilled."
"Thanks," Meredith answered softly. "And...me neither."
Carol smiled warmly and stepped away, allowing her youngest daughter to step in to greet her future sister-in-law.
"Good to see you, Mer," Anna greeted as she hugged her. She was the only member of the Shepherd family to have seen the ring already. Meredith had been surprised to bump into Derek's sister at a surgical conference almost two months prior.
"Well, what are you waiting for," Carol ushered them towards the hallway to their left, towards the living room. "Come on in."
Meredith smiled and followed Derek into the busy household. Derek stepped out to greet his family, but Meredith was immediately swarmed by the three sisters who hadn't seen the ring yet. Although they had been engaged for six months, neither side of the family had been able to travel to the other side of the country to see each other.
Meredith laughed as she was enveloped into a seeming group hug with Kathleen, Nancy and Natalie, all of whom she had spoken to on the phone numerous times, and all of whom were thrilled she was marrying their brother. She glanced over their shoulders as they gushed at her ring, and spotted Derek and his brothers-in-law, and Mark, shaking their heads at the female reaction. There would have been a time in her life that she would have been embarrassed by this, but right now, she didn't care. Right now she was remembering what it was like to have a family.
When the girls finally cleared, the men stepped in to offer their greetings and congratulations.
"It's nice to finally meet you," the only unfamiliar man in the room greeted as he offered his hand.
"You must be Phil," Meredith said as she shook his hand. She had met Derek's year and a half older sister, Natalie, in early August when she, Anna and Carol had visited Seattle. However, when she and Derek had travelled to New York for Thanksgiving, Natalie and her husband, Phil, hadn't been there. "I'm sorry to hear about your mother," she said quietly. His mother had been sick for some time and had passed away shortly into the New Year.
"Thank-you," he responded evenly. "Though I hear we have that in common, so I'm sorry too."
"Thanks."
"However, I hear you were a Big Greener? It'll be nice to have some fellow alumni in this household."
Meredith laughed. Kathleen had told her that Phil had also received his medical degree from Dartmouth. And if she remembered correctly, he was a GP, and the only brother-in-law with a med degree. All four of Derek's sisters were doctors. The oldest sister, Kathleen, was a psychiatrist, followed by Nancy in OB. Natalie worked in paediatrics. Anna was a general surgeon. And, of course, Derek and Mark were also surgeons. Needless to say, the Shepherd family had spent a lot of combined years in post secondary education. And spent a lot of years paying back student loans.
"Okay, sit, please, let's all sit," Carol spoke loudly, motioning towards the large sitting area, consisting of a large L-shaped couch, a short sofa and two arm chairs. An extra couch had been moved up from the smaller seating area by the front windows to comfortably accommodate everyone. Meredith smiled at Carol's sudden exuberance and allowed herself to be 'shepherded' to the middle of the long arm of the L-shaped couch, smiling when Derek plopped himself down beside her.
It wasn't until all except Carol were seated that Meredith realized she and Derek seemed to be seated centrally, and that everyone was smiling towards them. She swallowed and shifted her gaze around the room. Yup, everyone was definitely staring. And they seemed to be staring at her more than Derek. "I,uh..." she mumbled, but no words formed.
Carol moved and picked up a package from behind the far chair.
Meredith gulped as she suddenly realized what was about to happen.
Carol moved toward them and placed the large, flat, neatly wrapped object in her lap. "We have something for you," she stated simply and backed away.
"But, I...no." Meredith shook her head, refusing to touch the white tissue paper surrounding the mystery object. "No," she repeated. "I can't... It's your birthday."
"It's not my birthday for another hour yet."
"But..."
"Meredith, dear, just think of it as a belated Christmas present. It took longer to find then I expected, definitely not in time for Christmas."
Meredith swallowed as her throat went dry. Taking time to find meant it was something important, and she didn't want them to think she needed that kind of thing, or expected it, or even wanted it.
"Come on, open it," Anna's husband, Spencer, exclaimed. "Honestly, we all already know what it is, so not opening it is only keeping you in the dark. And even if it wasn't as good as what I tried to give you..." He trailed off and glared jokingly at his mother in law, who rolled her eyes, "It's still the thought that counts."
Meredith exhaled and glanced at Derek, who met her eyes with a shrug. He was clearly the only other person in the room who didn't know what was under the tissue. "Okay," she finally relented, her fingers cautiously landing on the thin tissue. She felt her cheeks blush under the eyes of so many people as she slid her nails under the scotch tape and pulled open the sheets of tissue to reveal the back of a frame.
Derek had closed his arm around her middle and was leaning close, obviously just as curious as her to the contents of her gift. With shaking hands, Meredith lifted the frame and flipped it over.
She gasped as she recognized herself in the photograph, two years prior, swathed in black and green robes. Her hand came unbidden to her mouth as her eyes watered. She sniffed and glanced above the frame to Carol's beaming face.
"How did you..?"
Carol smiled. "Well, it wasn't easy, but it's like Simon said, if I want a picture, I'll get. No matter what."
"Thank-you," Meredith practically whispered. When Derek had brought her to New York the first time, Carol had requested a graduation photo to hang on her living room wall. A large section of the living room was designated the 'graduation wall' and hosted the most recent graduation photographs of her four daughters, their husbands, and Derek and Mark. And she had wanted one of Meredith.
Carol nodded, and glanced at the grad wall again. "Oh, that reminds me," she turned towards Meredith with a smile. "Meredith, I'm going to need a picture from you medical school graduation."
Meredith blinked. "W-why?"
"To put on my wall, of course," she told her as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Meredith blinked again. Carol, Derek's mother, wanted a picture of her, Meredith, Derek's lowly girlfriend. To put on her wall. She actually wanted to have a picture of Meredith on the wall along with her children. Meredith glanced over at the empty space beside Derek's frame and realization hit that Carol hadn't waited until now to take down Addison's photo. She had purposely kept the space open. For Meredith. She swallowed. Hard. "I, uh, don't have any photos," she whispered as her mind whirled to process what was happening.
"You can't say that," Simon spoke up. "If Carol wants a picture, she'll get it, no matter how bad you think it is. Spencer told her he didn't have any, but she called his parents and had them courier it here." He laughed.
Meredith smiled. "I'm sorry, but I really don't have one. I thought the professional photo thing ahead of time was stupid and...there was no one at my graduation from med school." She shrugged.
Carol paused, but apparently took Meredith's words for what they were. "That's okay, dear, I can live with your college photo."
Meredith shook her head. "Sorry, I don't have one of those either. My mother and I weren't exactly on speaking terms." She swallowed.
Carol looked sympathetically at her. "High school?"
Another head shake. "She, uh, was going to come, but got caught up at work." Meredith could remember taking her diploma and looking out over the crowd, in hopes that her mother had just arrived late, but there was no sign of Ellis Grey in the crowd of proud parents.
"Well, I'm sure we'll figure something out," Carol spoke.
She shook her head. "Really, don't worry about it. You don't... I don't...there doesn't need to be a picture."
"Nonsense," Carol said with a wave of her hand. "I have a picture of everyone else. There will be one of you."
The framed photograph in her hands was not one Meredith had been aware was taken. The thought had crossed her more than once to simply skip the ceremony altogether, not wanting to be the only graduate without anyone in the audience. But as the day grew closer, Meredith found herself unable to stay away. She had spent four years to get to this day; four long years spent alone, taking care of her ailing mother. She wasn't going to let her feelings get in the way of that.
The ceremony had been long, and she had been thankful to be closer to the middle than the beginning in the name call, as the pause while each individual family took photos and held up the line made her eyes water. She focussed on herself as she finally heard her own name, for the first time said with the important title before it, and stepped onto the stage, ignoring the slight hush at the realization that she was The Ellis Grey's daughter.
She took her degree and shook all of the hands of the alumni on stage, ignoring the 'Too bad your mother couldn't make it' and 'I'm sure your mother is proud' comments. Once she had retaken her seat, the ceremony seemed to speed by. Afterwards, there was a reception for the graduates and their families, and Meredith had told herself she was only going for a bite to eat, but once she had entered, she wandered through the groups of people, always pretending to be heading somewhere, but secretly revelling in the happiness and relief of the room. If she paused and closed her eyes, she could pretend for just a moment that someone was proud of her too.
And as the families began to leave, off to their private celebrations, Meredith found herself still wandering the reception hall, lost in thought. She had spent four years at this school, and in less than a week, she would be on a plane to Seattle, the city she had lived in for the first five years of her life. The city her father still lived in. To work in the hospital her mother used to work in. She wondered if she would remember much from her childhood being back there, or if she would meet her father and find a place in his life again. She wondered if she would survive her internship. She wasn't particularly looking forward to it. She wanted to be a surgeon, there was no doubt in her mind, but more than anything, she
didn't want to be alone anymore. Though she had plenty of friends here at school, there were none that she would stay in touch with. They weren't those kinds of friends.
Meeting people hadn't been so bad in med school, at first. It had been a few months before the name Ellis Grey had come up in class. And it hadn't been until a particularly annoying professor had taken it upon himself to mention in class that Meredith was her daughter that anyone had known. But she knew her internship would be different. She knew she would be recognized from day one by who her mother was. She would gladly trade her name for anonymity. She would gladly trade her name to not be alone anymore.
The reception hall was nearly empty, only a few straggling families still hanging around. Meredith approached the large DARTMOUTH MEDICAL SCHOOL CONGRATULATES THEIR GRADUATING CLASS banner and smiled at the hope it instilled in her. She could start over in Seattle. She could find a way to not be alone anymore. A smile fluttered to her face as she nodded to herself. It may be slim, but there was a chance she would find happiness in Seattle. And if there was a chance, she wasn't going to give up that hope. She turned to leave and paused for just a moment, taking a deep breath as she realized there was a new life awaiting her. She smiled, clutching her rolled degree to her chest.
And that important moment in her life was immortalized right in front of her, blown up and framed. She couldn't help the tears that overflowed her lower lids, even as she wished she could arrive at this house and not be in tears within the first hour. "I don't even..." She trailed off and glanced up again to meet Carol's eyes. And surprisingly, the older woman looked near tears as well. "I don't even know what to say," she choked out as Derek's arm tightened around her waist. She regarded Carol through blurry eyes. "Thank-you."
"You're very welcome, dear. If you managed to get through medical school, you deserve a picture."
"How did you get it?" Derek spoke up, as Meredith was having trouble forming words.
"I contacted the school, asked if they had a photographer in, which they did. That part was easy enough, but the company had been sold, so it took a while to track down the guy who had owned it. And then there was some technical stuff that I don't pretend to understand, but Spencer was a big help."
Spencer rolled his eyes at his mother-in-law. "He had to sort through a number of portable hard drives to see if he still had the photos. Fortunately, your graduation year was the last he had done, so he still had them." He smiled. "And then it took a few tries before he sent us the right person. We do have photos of at least three other petite dirty blondes..."
Meredith couldn't help the wave of emotion wash over her as she glanced back down at the photograph. The memories of that moment were suddenly so sharp in her mind. The despair at being alone. The hope for finding happiness in Seattle. And she had. She had amazing friends. She had met a wonderful man, and here she was, across the country with his family, wearing his ring. She had a future.
"He found two pictures of you," Carol continued. "That one, and one during the actual ceremony." She motioned to the wall across the room.
Meredith turned her head and caught sight of a second, framed, photograph of her, on stage, degree in hand, shaking hands with the chancellor, hanging on the wall beside Derek's photo. She hadn't even noticed when she had come in.
"There's a copy of that one along with yours, tucked in behind it to keep safe," Carol added.
"I can't believe you did this," Meredith spoke quietly, her eyes welling with tears as her throat constricted. "No one has ever..." Her voice hitched.
"It was important, dear," Carol comforted as she stepped forward.
"Thank-you," Meredith whispered as she stood, and Carol pulled her into a warm hug.
"You deserve it, dear. You're a very important part of this family now. And this is what families do for each other."
Meredith nodded against the older woman's shoulder. She had really only met Carol twice before, and she had somehow ended up crying at least once both times, and now a third time. And she had been in the house for less than an hour. She still had another ten days to go. But Carol, and the Shepherds in general, had a certain quality to them that made Meredith feel like it was okay to break down. She didn't feel embarrassed or not good enough. She felt accepted.
Meredith took a breath and stepped back, smiling at her future mother-in-law. "Thanks," she said again, although her tone said she wasn't just saying it for the photo.
"You are most welcome, dear."
Meredith turned to Spencer, who was seated on the short couch with his wife, Anna. "Thank-you, too."
Spencer smiled and stood, pulling her into friendly hug. "Anything for my MVP."
Meredith laughed. When she and Derek had spent Thanksgiving in New York, she had ended up playing touch football on Spencer's team. And, according to Spencer, she was a good player. She had learned from Derek afterwards that Spencer had played football in college for a few years.
"Though," Spencer continued. "I did photoshop one for you first, but Carol wouldn't go for it..." Spencer had failed to graduate from college, and Carol had taken it upon herself to contact his parents for a high school graduation photo. In response, Spencer had photoshoppped himself into a medical school graduation, complete with a crown. Carol hadn't been thrilled, and her reaction was legendary. It was one of the first things Meredith had been told on their previous visit.
"I'm sure it was wonderful."
He laughed and pulled away to re-take his seat. "It was."
Meredith sat back down beside Derek, smiling when he wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her cheek. She leaned into his comforting warmth and laid her hand on his knee.
The topic of the room shifted away from her, as the family waited for the minute hand on the wall clock to reach the top, signifying their oldest member was sixty-five.
000
Derek revelled in the feeling of being back in the same room as his family. Although he had been away for over a year and a half the first time, he had never felt much in the sense of missing them. But after spending Thanksgiving with them only seven months prior, he couldn't wait until his mother's birthday. He loved Seattle and had no plans to leave it, but he did miss his family. And their previous visit had been so short; he was glad they were here for ten days this time.
He had never really realized just how good he had it in the family department until he had brought Meredith to New York to meet them. Watching her interact with his mother and sisters had been astounding. He had expected for her to feel uneasy, and she had started off feeling out of sorts on Tuesday evening, but by Thursday she had found her spot in the family. The Shepherds had gone out of their way to accept her, make her feel at home and coax her out of her shell.
And today; spending months searching for a graduation picture from two years prior was just another example of how amazing his family was. There weren't many in the world that would do that.
He smiled as Meredith laughed at something his sister said, and then countered the response by his brother-in-law. And when he fought back, she didn't back down. She was comfortable here, with his family, evidently proving Dean wrong in something. She often, jokingly, said she was always right, but in actual fact he had to admit she almost always was, though he would never admit that to her.
Dean made a mistake and back tracked on something he had said, and Meredith had the room's support as she called him on it. Derek laughed as his brother-in-law conceded, causing a cheer to erupt from the females of the room. She definitely fit in. He tightened his grip around her waist and smiled as his mind wandered back to his family's response to their engagement.
Derek finished dialling the phone number he had memorised in kindergarten and waited patiently as the phone rang several times. It was close to eight out on the east coast, but he knew his mother would be home. It was the evening of the annual Shepherd Christmas party; the Friday before Christmas. He had waited all week to make this phone call, wanting to catch his entire family together for this very special announcement.
"Hello, Shepherd residence." A breathless voice answered, sounding harried and rushed.
"Aunt Joyce?" He questioned, vaguely recognizing the voice he hadn't heard for two years.
"Is this Derek?"
"Of course. Do you still remember me?" He asked jokingly.
She laughed. "Of course I remember my favourite nephew." There were three Maloney sisters. Carol had one son. Joyce had two. Alice didn't have any. Though, they all had lots of daughters. Derek was Joyce's only nephew; and favourite by default. "How are you doing?"
"I'm doing well." He smiled. "Really well."
"That's so good to hear, Derek. I was so sorry to hear about everything that happened between you and Addy."
"It was for the best." He said simply. "I'm happy now."
"I'm glad. And I hear you have a new girl in your life; Mary-Beth?"
"Meredith," he corrected gently, a smile appearing on his lips at the simple act of speaking her name. He'd been doing that all week.
"Oh, that's right. I was close. How is that going?"
He smirked. "Really good."
"That's so nice to hear, dear. And it's very nice to speak with you, but your mother is hovering, so I'll pass her the phone."
Derek laughed, knowing his mother would be demanding to speak to him. "It's nice to talk to you, Aunt Joyce."
"You too, Derek. Here's your mom."
There was a clunk and a hiss of static as the phone was passed between the sisters. "Derek," his mother's familiar voice greeted warmly. "What a nice surprise to hear from you."
Derek snorted. "Mom, I told you I was going to call tonight." He rolled his eyes. "How's your party?"
"Oh, it's wonderful, as usual. Your aunt and uncle and most of your cousins are here. And all of your sisters, of course."
He sighed. "I'm sorry I can't be there, mom. We'll try and make it next year."
"It's okay, dear. You were here for Thanksgiving. And, are you still planning on making it for my birthday?"
"Of course. We've already booked time off."
"I'm so looking forward to having my whole family together again."
"Me too, mom."
"Is Meredith there?"
"No, she's stuck in surgery, but she wanted to be here." He was disappointed Meredith wasn't there to have the chance to hear experience their reaction, but she had told him to do it anyway if she wasn't out of surgery. And she still had hours left now. If he waited too long, it would be too late on the west coast.
"Well, tell her we all send our love."
Derek smiled. "I will."
"Are you two doing well?"
"Really well," he answered easily. "I, uh, actually have some news."
Expectant silence met him on the other end of the line.
Derek breathed, a wide smile taking over his features. "I asked her to marry me."
Carol gasped. "Derek! I'm so happy for you. Oh, this is so exciting!" There were muffled sounds as his mother announced his engagement to the family. "When did you ask?"
"Saturday."
"Saturday? Derek Michael Shepherd! You waited almost a week to tell your mother you're getting married?"
Derek laughed. "I wanted to wait to tell you when everyone was together."
She huffed. "Did you at least do it right?"
"Well, I got the answer I wanted, so I assume I did it right," he responded sarcastically.
Carol clicked her tongue. "You know that's not what I meant, Derek. Did you make it special?"
"I think so. It was definitely a surprise."
"Good." There was another moment of muffled voices her couldn't make out through the phone line. "Your sisters are pressuring me to pass the phone. They want to offer their congratulations."
"Okay, mom. It's good to talk to you. I'll call on Thursday to wish you a Merry Christmas."
"I look forward to it. And I'll want to speak to my new daughter-in-law."
Derek smiled. "I'll wait until she's free." They were both working Christmas.
"I love you, Derek. And I'm so happy for you."
"I love you too, mom."
He spent the next twenty minutes being passed between his sisters, brothers-in-law, nephews, nieces and cousins. He didn't stop smiling the entire time.
The clock struck midnight, creating an uproar of Happy Birthday's and Congratulations and How does it feel to be sixty-five? Carol took it all in stride, hugging each of her eleven children and children-in-law.
"Happy Birthday, mom," Derek told her when it was his turn. He hugged her tightly.
"Thank-you, Derek." She hugged him back. "I'm so glad you two could make it."
"We wouldn't have missed it."
She pulled back and regarded him proudly for several seconds before releasing him and pulling Meredith into a hug, where Meredith offered her own well wishes.
It didn't take long for the family to start heading for their respective bedrooms. It was late, and the following day was going to be long and busy. Derek and Meredith backtracked through the front hall for their suitcases and made their way up the back staircase. The house was large, three full levels, with stairs from basement to ground to top floor at both ends. The front door and hall was situated right of center, with the side facing garage as the only main room to its right. To its left was the large living room, and through it a hallway to a bedroom, den, office and stairs. Through the back of the living room were a dining room and a large kitchen, which jutted out from the back of the house. Downstairs was a second living room and a large play area for the kids, plus a few bedrooms. Upstairs were a number of bedrooms. Mark had a room in the basement. Nancy's was on the ground floor. And the rest of the adults and younger kids slept upstairs. The older kids slept in the basement.
Derek reached the landing and made his way towards his door. His room was situated at the quiet end of the house, which had kept him away from his sisters growing up. He pushed open the door, and smiled as he motioned for Meredith to enter first, and then he stepped in behind her. It was a large room, complete with an on-suite bathroom. Most of his high school furniture had been replaced when he had moved out, but many of his personal things were still present; a few knick-knacks and his graduation photos that preceded his medical degree; elementary school, high school and undergraduate.
He smiled as Meredith carefully set her new prized photograph down on the dresser. "I still can't believe they did that," she spoke softly, shaking her head.
Derek set down his suitcase and wrapped his arms around her. "Me either, but that's what they do." He pressed his lips against her forehead.
She sighed and relaxed in his arms. "I love you, Derek."
He smiled. "I love you more."
She scoffed. "Not true." It had been their joke for almost a year now, to claim they loved the other more.
"Is so true." He captured her lips with his and kissed her until he had lost his breath.
Her eyes were hazy when he pulled away, and she pecked him with swollen lips before leaning her forehead against his. "I still love you more."
He laughed at her tenacity.
"You thought that kissing me would make me forget?"
"Maybe," he admitted. "But it was worth it anyway."
"Hmm," she mumbled as she leaned her head against his shoulder and they swayed back and forth together. "This is nice."
"Yeah." He rubbed his hand along her spine and kissed her shoulder. "You feeling better?"
She nodded against him. "Much. I knew it was stupid to be nervous, but..."
"You're entitled to be apprehensive," he told her. "But I'm glad you're getting over it."
"I'm sorry, Derek," she whispered after several moments of silence.
He furrowed his brow. "For what?"
She pulled back far enough to meet his eyes. "I didn't think I could handle this, and...after everything, I just..." Her voice cracked. "I'm sorry I called everything off. I'm sorry I was too scared to listen to you."
He sighed heavily. "Meredith, you don't owe me an apology."
"But-"
He shushed her gently. "I love you, and as I said before, we both have to be ready. I can wait."
She bit her lower lip. "I don't want to make you wait too long..."
He shook his head firmly, knowing exactly what she was thinking. "There's no such thing as too long, Meredith. I'll wait forever." She avoided his eyes and he gently forced her gaze back to his. "I love you," he repeated. "And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I'm not walking away from this, from you. Not ever."
She nodded and inhaled a shaky breath. "Okay."
He kissed her forehead. Her insecure moments with him had all but vanished, and when they did pop up, she was much easier to comfort now. They had come a long way since they had gotten back
together and subsequently forgotten how to talk. After a few months, they had been forced to buckle down and learn how to communicate, or give up and learn to live without each other. And that wasn't something Derek ever wanted to do.
"I'm going to have a quick shower before bed," he spoke quietly. "Did you want to go first, or are you just going to go to sleep?"
She smirked and pretended to consider his question. "Well," she practically purred. "If I went first, would you join me?"
He felt his heart rate increase at her words. "What, no sex-ban this time?" He raised an eyebrow. The last time they had been here, she had demanded they not have sex while they were visiting, in fear of being caught. Her resolve had lasted an impressive forty-eight hours. And for the next three days, they had broken her rule five times.
She laughed. "What happened to rules are meant to be broken?"
He groaned and pressed his lips against hers. Her hands found their way to his hair, where her fingers curled around his locks and held on tightly. He ran his hands down, along her sides to her back, and then down, down, down further.
She moaned into his mouth and in a relatively coordinated move, she jumped upwards, while he caught her weight and lifted her to him. She wrapped her strong legs around his waist while he closed his arms securely around her. And without breaking the kiss, Derek turned and blindly headed for the bathroom.
Out of the dreariness,
Into its cheeriness,
Come we in weariness,
Home.
-- Stephen Chalmers
AN: I actually found the Dartmouth medical school website to find theirs colours (green and black). And I discovered their sports teams are known as the 'big green' ... So, yeah. I don't really know if that means as a whole they are the big green, or that they come from the big green, or if each member is a big green...So, if you were confused by Phil's comment, so was I...lol. Thanks for reading!