Chapter 10

Catherine closed the front door behind her, leaning against it for a moment, exhausted by the emotions of earlier in the day.

She had stayed at the lab and buried herself in work, determined not to think about Gil. She couldn't decide whether it would be better to let him return to San Francisco and continue as she had been for the last six years – without him; or to try to salvage what had been one of the most important relationships in her life. Part of her was persistently arguing that too much time had passed for the necessary repairs to be made. That part, however, was being lost beyond the louder insistence of the part that had missed him: the part that still trembled beneath his touch.

Releasing a sigh that mixed frustration and exhaustion she pushed herself away from the door, dropped her keys and purse onto the side and walked into the living room – a false smile firmly in place for Lindsey's benefit.

--

Lindsey and Andrew were nestled on the sofa, ostensibly watching television, but given their earlier news, Catherine suspected their minds were elsewhere.

They both looked up as Catherine entered their field of vision, and Andrew leaned over to the remote and muted the sound of their programme.

"Hey," she said to them, perching on the edge of a chair as she spoke. "How are you both doing?"

It was good to see a smile spread across both faces. "We're okay," Lindsey said, her nervous happiness also evident in her voice. "We're terrified," she added with a small laugh, "but we're okay."

Catherine nodded understandingly, her own smile now completely genuine, earlier events momentarily forgotten. "I'll be here to support you, every step of the way."

Lindsey's eyes conveyed her gratitude. "Thanks, Mom… We're gonna go back to New York in the morning. I don't want to miss any more classes. I figure it's better to keep everything normal for as long as possible."

Pushing back the brief sadness that shot through her to know that Lindsey would also be leaving, Catherine nodded again, fully understanding Lindsey's decision.

"But," her daughter continued, "I'm going to come back here in a few months, if that's okay? I'd like to be home."

Catherine felt her heart lift. "Of course that's okay, honey… I'd love for you to be back home. And I'll try to interfere as little as possible. I promise."

Lindsey laughed. "Thanks. Again… How was work?"

Catherine followed Lindsey's change of subject, sinking back into the chair as she spun them stories about the piles and piles of reports she had to get through. She made no mention of Gil.

"It's been a busy day," she concluded. "What do you say we go out for dinner? My treat. Your choice."

-----

Early the following morning, Catherine drove Lindsey and Andrew to the airport and, over breakfast, they spoke a little more of the future before they had to proceed through for their flight.

It was with a mixture of happiness, excitement and sadness that Catherine watched them leave. She had never once considered herself to be feeling lonely since Lindsey had moved away to college, but as she turned to walk back through the airport alone, that feeling overwhelmed her.

Her mind relived the last few days with her daughter, and pointed out that it was not just Lindsey that had returned to her then. And it was not just Lindsey who was going to go away again.

Closing her eyes and sighing, Catherine came to a stop and opened her bag, reaching for her cell phone. She opened her eyes quickly when her hand failed to find it, and cursed her own forgetfulness when she realised she must have left in on her nightstand. She didn't recall having picked it up before leaving the house.

Sighing again, she resumed her path, fighting the part of her brain that was trying to tell her the absence of her phone was a sign that she should not even be considering calling Gil.

---

The airport was busy that morning. Business men and women, and tourist families, with five or six suitcases, moved past her in all directions, and as Catherine passed by the check-in desks, she noted that the queues were much longer than when she had arrived.

Her thoughts still preoccupied with whether or not she wanted to call Gil, she thought she was hallucinating when her eyes glanced towards the queue at the United airlines desk, and she saw Gil amidst the waiting passengers.

Shaking her head to clear it, she looked again. It was from a distance, across a crowded area, but it most definitely looked like him. And when he turned, as if sensing that he was being observed, she got confirmation.

His face fell as his eyes came to rest on her, and tension took an instant hold of Catherine's body. Her breathing deepened, her chest heaving with anger as she watched him look around as if deciding whether or not to leave his place in line. Her hurt that he was leaving so quickly, after he had told her he planned to stay, mingled with memories of saying goodbye to him in this very airport seven years ago, and with recollections of the first few months after they spoke for the last time. Tears welled in her eyes as part of her gloated that it was right to tell her to avoid getting close to him again. And the tears began to fall as another part pointed out that it was too late.

Seeing him still watching her, she shook her head, clearly conveying her disapproval and disappointment, then she turned and made her way as quickly as possible to her car; pulling out of the parking lot as soon as she was seated in the vehicle.

TBC…