Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

In Six Months I Lost My Mind But Found My Heart

Chapter Fourteen: Thin Walls

27th February

4 Months & 6 Days Left

Edward's POV

I was waiting in Alice's room for her to get home so I could speak to her. Things have been simmering in my head for that last two weeks and I have to tell someone or I'm going to go crazy. Of course it's related to Bella, how could it not be?

I'm disappointed to say that there have been no kisses since that day in the kitchen. I've been spending a lot of my time in the music department at school and Bella has been doing things with Alice. We haven't really seen each other and when we have Alice has always been there.

Even though Bella does tell Alice what goes on between us I don't really want to show Alice what goes on between us. It's better if my sister just stays out of my love life. But that contradicts what I'm doing here. I don't want her to get involved in it I just want her to help me sort through the mess that is my brain.

"Oh hey." Alice said, finally entering her room. I just looked at her from my spot where I was collapsing over the desk. "What's wrong? You look miserable."

"I like her." I mumbled, not expecting such a hyper active response.

"YES! I KNEW IT, HA!" I shot her a glare and put my head back in my hands. "Sorry, that wasn't quite what you were going for was it?" I shook my head and mumbled some incoherent things back to her. "Okay that wasn't English so let's try again. What's wrong?"

"I like her." I said again, looking at my sister now.

"So? How is that a problem?"Alice asked confused, sitting over by the bed.

"I can't like her."

"Why?" She frowned. I stood up and started pacing in front of the bed; it was a way to relieve some stress. To answer her question all the words sort of fell out of my mouth really quickly and I could tell she was struggling to keep up.

"For starters it would never work. I live there, she lives here. I'm rich, she's not. I have a title, she doesn't. How could that work? She would be completely degraded in our lifestyle and I'm not treated any better here. Our father would flip out and you know that. He's looking for a nice young bride for me as we speak. The second I graduate I'm going to be picking out china patterns and wedding cakes. Also you know that I won't get anything if I marry someone they don't approve of and I'm not saying I would marry Bella it's just I would like the option to. Plus I don't think she likes me so there really is not point to any of thi-"

"STOP!" I turned sharply to look at her after her outburst. "You need to slow down, I did hear what you said but you can't expect me to answer all those worries in one go. So it won't work, let's start there, how won't it work?"

"I just told you Alice! I live here, she live-" She held her hand up to stop me.

"No forget about all that. Let's say that you two are normal average people without any of those worries, would it work?"

"Well yeah since we get on together and even though we squabble it's still kind of fun. I like her and I think she could learn to like me." Alice was beaming as I became shy talking about how I felt.

"See, there's a start. You like her, that's good and you've finally admitted to it, that's even better. Just so you know she likes you too by the way." I ignored that last comment, I wouldn't take Alice's word for it on this. I would need to hear that from Bella. "Okay so what's next? You live here; she lives there, the money and the title thing right?" I nodded.

"Well like you said, you are graduating soon and then you won't be tied down to stay in one place all the time. That could work. If you two were determined to stay together then I'm sure you would sort something out. Whether you live here or she lives there, it's up to you two but don't think about that now. Remember, you're not planning your entire life all at once, I think you forget that too much Edward." Alice said lounging back on the bed as she pondered the next problem.

"The money and titles are not a problem. So what you're rich, that just gives you more money to take care of her and before you say anything she is definitely not a gold digger. She won't let me pay for anything when we go out, it's rather annoying actually since I saw this really cute skirt that would look great on Bella, really show off her legs-"

"Alice!" I called, breaking her from that crazed fashion mind. "You're getting off point."

"Oh yeah, silly me. Anyway the money, not an issue, just ignore it. Title well you could always reject yours if it means that much to you and just become Mr. But if that doesn't appeal to you as I think it might you could just ignore that too. So what if you're Marquess and she's Miss? It's not like she's going to call you by it. They are just insignificant things." I nodded thinking that she might have a point but there will be times where my wealth and title will get in the way.

"You did have a good point about her being degraded in our lifestyle, that's so true, she really would be. Shockingly I dread taking her to the three events we have to go to since she'll be treated like scum in the posh way of doing it. Act all sweet and nice then stab them in the back and spread that they are a common whore when they're not looking. It's not very ladylike and these are the woman I'm meant to aspire to be like, pfft, they wish. Bella will just have to learn how to handle it. Come on it's not that big a deal when you think about it?"

"Are you kidding me?" I asked gaping at her. She frowned back clearly confused.

"No why?"

"Do you remember the Earls son; I don't know his name, really pompous, big nose, chubby, thought he was God's gift to woman?" Alice slowly began to nod then her recollection returned. "Do you also remember who he married, small, blonde, thin, leggy, looked like she was a model but actually wasn't?"

"Who were her parents?" I smirked.

"Exactly. She came from some rundown town in the middle of the countryside, had never ridden a horse, didn't know how to act at polo matches, had never had an elocution lesson in her life, didn't plan on doing anything with her life, got confused with all the knives and forks at stately dinners, they consummated the marriage before they were engaged and you know that didn't help her case, she had that weird tendency to talk when not spoken to, couldn't wrap her head round who her husband was and the money, she got the title of Countess when said husband became Earl. No one has heard from them in years yet they live about eighteen miles from us in the heart of the estate homes."

"Oh yeah, she was really nice actually." I nodded but moved on.

"You and I both know the only way to drop of the social ladder completely is to be thrown off of it. That's what happened to them. Apparently the Earl died because he was so ashamed of who his son married." Alice rolled her eyes but we both heard that rumour circling round the country club. "At every party that girl was slashed and torn down by those scornful bitches and I don't want to put Bella through that." I paused to breath then continued.

"They would treat her exactly the same and you know it. She's too caring and sweet to be thrown in with the wolves. I won't have that. When I'm around her I want to protect her. There is no way I could do that at an event since all the women swarm together to gossip and all the men do the same."

"Yeah but I would be there to look after her Edward." Alice said sounding slightly offended that I might have forgotten about her.

"I know you would be but what if we ended up staying together after this exchange, I would still be invited to these things and as my partner she would have to attend. I don't want you to have to look after her forever since she shouldn't have to be looked after, they should treat her with some respect." Alice beamed again.

"Aww you're getting so sensitive and cute." She ruffled my hair smiling. I glared and sighed towards her. This was not the time for that. "Okay you have one good point there, I understand your fears. So we'll make it Problems: 1 Solutions: 2." I nodded and waited for her to carry on.

"Our father, I think if you explained how much you liked Bella then he would be okay with it. I know he's looking for a bride right now, while you're out the way. But that doesn't mean you have to marry her, he's giving you options. Plus if you put up a fight all you have to do is go to Esme and she will totally back you up on this. She'll be convinced that her baby Eddie has fallen in love." I rolled my eyes but knew my mother would come through for me on this if I asked her.

"I guess you're right." I muttered.

"Of course I'm right, I'm Alice!" She said as though that was a reason in itself. "Eddie?" Alice asked softly.

"Yeah." I knew what topic we were coming to now.

"How important is your inheritance?" This may seem dreadful of me but at the moment I have to compare how much Bella is worth to me and how much I want about 120,000 acres of land and everything we own, which comes to a large sum of money. Let's just say that I will be one of the richest eligible bachelors around.

"I don't know. Does that make me bad for even having to think about this?" I asked sorrowfully.

"No not at all. This is the most important things after all. If father decides that he doesn't want you marrying Bella, if it even comes to that, or hell if he doesn't even want you dating someone of her status then you know he'll write you from the inheritance. This thing with Bella could last forever or could last a year or even months, are you willing to lose everything for her when she might not stick around?" This was a difficult topic, I'm basically having to chose money or Bella and although that may seem easy I'll lose everything if Bella and I don't stay together.

My titles would be stripped from me, I would be asked to leave the house with my possessions and I would only have what I have earned which is about £20,000. That isn't even enough money for me to find a place to stay with the current property prices. Plus I would be casted out of society. My friends would have to turn their backs on me, and I would understand completely. If I'm going down there is no point taking them down with me.

Bella means a lot to me but I don't know if I could give everything up for her. I wish it was easier. I wish I never had to make this choice. But if I want any sort of relationship with her I will have to.

"I'll need some time to think about this." I told Alice. She patted the bed and I sat down next to her.

"Tell her how you feel and just see what goes from there." She suggested as she gave me a hug.

"I don't think I can do that. I would be putting my heart on my sleeve and asking it to be ripped off and destroyed. There is no way I could tell her." I stopped for a second. "She's not in the house is she?" It would be so bad if she was.

"No she's at Jacobs. Why?" I indicated to the walls.

"They are far too thin and you can hear everything." She smirked and nodded.

"So how are you going to act around her?"

"Em...I'll resist the teenage hormones that tell me to kiss her senseless until I know what's going on. That will be hard but I guess I could just have more cold showers." Alice swatted my arm grimacing.

"I didn't need to know that Edward."

"Sorry." I said smirking. "I'm going to go back to my room, I have homework to do." She nodded.

"Just remember Eddie, Problems: 2 Solutions: 3. Everything will work out." Alice said smiling. I sure hope she's right.

Closing her door in the hallway I turned to go back to my room to see Mr Swan standing about four feet away from me not looking pleased. He had his arms crossed over his chest and was scowling. Crap, how much did he hear? Please tell me he didn't hear anything.

"Interesting conversation." He jerked his head towards Alice's door.

So yeah, he heard. Now my life is officially over. Of all the times he had to be in the house it had to be tonight when I was talking about the problems with dating his daughter and then about taking cold showers just proving I find Bella attractive. Just my bloody luck.

"I'll hear you when you walk up the hall. Keep that in mind." He warned. "Goodnight Edward." I didn't dare say anything but just edged past him and escaped to my room.

Of all the people to overhear that it had to be him. Hell, I'd rather have Bella listening rather than him. Things are just so bad now. Stupid bloody thin walls.