Chapter Seventeen:

Love is Returnable

Harry's eyes widened with a certain desire to know why she had not showed him this before, but even if she had there was no way he could use it anyway. He just watched her, amazed by every move she made, and yet he had a feeling in the pit of his stomach. He sensed something horrible going on that she kept from him, but he couldn't figure out why he would feel like that was going on. He trusted her enough to love her and she him, didn't she?

As Hermione stayed in tune with the conversation Harry soon saw Ginny's face erupt from the silky material. He became slightly confused when he called her Rayne, but shrugged it off, for they were probably nick names that had given each other as a cover up type thing. He wondered if perhaps Hermione would ever show him how to do this, and what sort of nickname they'd give him. Why not just Harry, so no confusion necessary, but then he remembered that the names were probably important to remember at some point.

Ginny looked quite sad for a moment, but then she fell mute. As she sat in complete silence, Harry decided to speak. Ginny looked less happy, but more shocked beyond all reason. Harry felt embarrassed as he studied her face. She looked so angry, and did not seem even glad that he had been back. He kept thinking that perhaps she too hated him, but these thoughts soon left his head when suddenly Ginny's silence turned into a heart filled explosion.

"Harry!" She said in excitement and a slight tinge of left over shock, "Welcome back! Wait, are you really back? Of course you are, why wouldn't you be, but no one told me anything! So I assumed Hermione went to visit you and she was there letting you talk to me, but I recognize that Head Girl room!" She started speaking faster and faster, finally Harry broke her rant so she could breathe.

"Ginny," He said calmly. "Calm down. I didn't really tell anyone I was returning. Well, I assumed Dumbledore would know, but I expect he wanted it to be a secret." He smiled kindly.

"Well that's no fun!" Ginny whined. "I like to know things!"

"Well, you know now." Harry said, cluing in the obvious voice that made her feel pretty stupid. "The only ones who know I'm here are Dumbledore, Hermione, Malfoy, and now you. To everyone else I'm not here." He said.

"You're like a surprise!" Ginny said playfully. "We should shove you in a box and bring you to a party, so you can jump out and go all like nuts and scare everyone in the room." She laughed.

"You're nuts, Gin." Harry laughed. "What happened to the clam-peaceful child?"

"I killed her."

"Oh… wow… sorry to hear that." He joked. "But honestly, I need no party." He said instantly. "My arrival is not worth a celebration."

"Oh, Harry," Hermione said in bored tones as she finally decided to cut in. "You're worth more than a celebration." She smiled.

Suddenly there was an instant of awkward silence in the room. Harry and Hermione had suddenly stopped talking as Harry felt a certain tinge in the back of his mind with annoyance. Hermione said nothing, for she understood not why he had stopped talking. To her he suddenly seemed angry with what she said. He acted as if it offended him so, but she could not understand why. It wasn't like she meant to. She just couldn't understand why he seemed so upset.

"Hermione," Ginny said warily. "I think you guys need to talk, I'll catch you later." She said softly.

Hermione went to respond, but by the time she said anything Ginny had left and the web of communication was no longer an item but an eruption of glittery sparks that slowly disappeared into the air. Hermione turned back with sorrow filled eyes and matched Harry irritated ones. Hermione wiped her hands upon her jeans to rid them of the tingly feeling they left every time the web closed. She shook her head and suddenly found no words to say, but attempted to speak anyway.

"Alright," Hermione sighed. "What's wrong, love?" She questioned.

"Why must you do that?" He asked, irritation screaming in his skin.

"What are you talking about?" She wondered. "Are you feeling alright?"

"No, Hermione, I'm not alright." He growled. "Why must you talk like its okay that I came back or I should be proud for getting out? I was in JAIL, Hermione, not at some wacko summer camp where they liked to beat the living daylights out of me to build character. I attacked my best friend, for attacking you, yes, but he was still my best friend. Jail changes people." He said angrily. "You can't just expect me to come home, go to a party, and forget it ever happened by picking up where we left off. It doesn't work like that." She looked like she was about to say something else, but he stopped her. "It just doesn't."

"Harry," She said with tear filled eyes. "What has gotten into you?" She asked in worried tones.

"Have you not listened?" He yelled again. "Jail changed me Hermione." He said eagerly. "Don't you understand? Why must you believe life is still all fun and games and not serious? It is serious Hermione… it is. You can't slide your way through life, and I don't intend on attempting to do so. I don't know about you, but I'm sick of playing this game of chess we play."

Hermione shook her head fiercely. Her love to him was a game? No, it couldn't be, he had played her? After all that happened it just couldn't be true, but yet he said so. She knew it wasn't fun and games, but she was just happy that he was back in her life, but there was a glitch in her thoughts. It seemed to be true that he had lost her in the process of returning home. She lay on the bed, her face covered in tears, and looking up to the ceiling.

"Could it be that you no longer love me?" She asked her heart ripping into the million pieces she swore would never happen.

"No, of course not Hermione, but I thought the exact opposite." He answered. "You were right, that one night in the rain, it was me. I was the bird that escaped from the prison. I only was able to by Dumbledore, though. He told me I wasn't supposed to let anyone see me, but I had to check up on you." He sighed. "You weren't wearing the ring, and that tore me apart. So I thought maybe you had forgotten me."

"Never, Harry, never." She said instantly. "I didn't want people to know yet, nor did I want to find out what they would think of me. Then you came and gave me the strength to realize that I loved you, and that's all that mattered, so here." She said, showing her hand fully now. "I've worn it ever since, and no one has questioned me for I have been going to classes less frequently than before."

"Hermione," He said suddenly, feeling completely stupid and suddenly losing the point he originally attempted to make. "I'm sorry." He said. "I didn't mean to hurt you, you just made me so upset and I have assumed so much, but I was wrong. I made a mistake." He said sadly. "And I'm sorry."

"No, Harry," She said sadly, sitting up and putting her back to him. "I should have known you'd be like this. Such a rotten place that is there, and what they had done to you." She stood up from the bed, walking to him. "I was just, so scared that I lose you that I wanted to celebrate your arrival. Not as being proud but more as being happy that you have returned to me, when I have missed you so."

"I've missed you too, my dear." He said cautiously. "But when I read your letters about how close you were getting to Malfoy it scared me. I was so afraid that it was a trap that I could not save you from." He said, feeling the need to cry, but wouldn't let himself do so. He did not want her to see him weak. "You're my lifeline, love; if something happened to you then I would never be able to find the strength to live anymore." He said sadly.

"I wouldn't dare let him do anything to me, though." She said truthfully. "Many a night I have wasted in thoughts about what he true nature was and if he was attempting to disturb our happiness. Then I began to get to know him, and I found him to not be all bad, but then he played a rotten trick on me, and since I have not talked to him." She said honestly.

The silence once again initiated, but something teased Harry to ask Hermione a certain question that he was almost one hundred percent sure she would refuse to answer. He took a deep sigh, but he had to know. Hopefully they would promise each other no more secrets and live freely, like they once planned. Harry suddenly felt exhausted, and frankly he wasn't surprised. There, though, was no way he could ever sleep unless he knew the truth about Hermione and Malfoy.

"What happened in the rain?" Harry inquired.

"What?" She asked taken aback.

"When I ran into Malfoy he told me to tell you that the actions in the rain were not false, but I am confused. What happened in the rain that he so desperately needed to tell you was true?" He wondered.

"I can vaguely remember, Harry." She lied. "I drank a lot that night." She said.

"You were drunk?" He asked, just thinking of the possibilities that could have happened. "You made love to him, didn't you?" He asked, heartbroken.

"No, of course not," She said instantly. "I would not do that to you. I swear to you." She begged.

"Then?" He asked. "What happened?"

Hermione's mind spun in directions she never thought were possible. She felt dizzy, she knew she had to tell him the truth, but she also knew that he would never understand. She tried her best thinking of a way to cover it up, quickly before it got out of control, but it was no use. She could not think of a story in time to be sure that he believed her. She sighed, a regretful sigh and spilled the truth.

"I kissed him." She said regretfully. "I didn't know what came over me. I was just so upset, and then he began to comfort me, and I couldn't help it. I kissed him." She said, looking away in shame. "I tried to drink the taste out of my mouth and drink away the memory, but it was no use. The shame tore me up, and then you arrived, wings and all, and I crashed." She said, her tears filling with eyes again.

"I don't know what to say." Harry said in astonishment, after several moments of silence that inhabited the room.

"Don't say anything." She said angrily. "I've been through enough pain and punishment to deserve your compassion. I have been unworthy to you, Harry. And I have just remembered…" She said. She removed her ring from her finger, cried upon it for a mere second, and then placed it into his loving hand. "I don't deserve you."

Harry looked down at the ring. He knew people made mistakes and perhaps she was just caught up in the moment. He had been there before. Sure, he didn't approve of her kissing Malfoy, but he could see how sadly she shook. He knew how much pain she had put herself through, and he couldn't allow it to happen anymore. He wanted to spin her around, kiss her, and have it end right there. He caught his breath, but as soon as he called out her name, she was gone

Hermione wiped the tears from her eyes and realized that she had a score to settle. Soon her eyes glazed over with dried tears, as anger began to fill her head and it made her tears stop completely. She marched her self down to the eagle statue, and began to persistently demand for the correct password into the Headmaster's chamber. She was getting absolutely no where. It would not spring to life, and she didn't have much time before Harry had found her again to attempt to fix things.

"Lemon drop… licorice snap… bubble gum… Bertie's botts!" She growled. It wasn't working.

"I'd suggest using Rainbow dots." A raspy voice said behind her. She turned sharply to see Dumbledore standing presently in her presence.

"Sir!" She said suddenly. "I must ask you something." She said. "I'm sorry to bother you, but it's quite important." She said.

"Ah yes, I see our young Mr. Potter has returned." He said matter-of-factly. "I assume that is what this is about. Correct, Ms. Granger?" He asked.

"No… not exactly…" She said, thinking.

"Then perhaps where Mr. Malfoy disappeared to then?" He wondered.

"Yes!" She said worriedly. "Harry mentioned him being taken by guards, but what did he do sir?"

"I assure you," Dumbledore smiled. "Nothing wrong has happened. He simply wanted to visit his father. He has returned though, and I happen to know that he is staying in the Dungeons, with Severus." He smiled.

"Is he there now?" She asked.

"I would assume so, but Severus is out searching for potion ingredients, so I'm sure he is alone. You and I have both realized, Ms. Granger, that Draco has suddenly changed. I'm not sure if it was you who did so, or he, or just a simple rebellion against his father, but he refuses to stay with the rest of the Slytherins. He's beginning to realize the horror of the dark side, but I fear he is in danger also." He said wisely. "He may have the slyness to hide, but he can not outrun Voldemort." He said sadly.

Hermione went to say something else, but Dumbledore had walked up the stairs, and she wished not to disturb him again. When the gargoyle had returned to hiding the stairway, she turned and stood still for a moment. Dumbledore had told her so much and yet she thrived to know more, but for now she had to speak with him. She had to fix this awkward relationship they had suddenly created, and for once in a love long time she had forgotten about Harry Potter.

It was true she still loved him, but something was drawing her closer to Draco. She wanted to be closer to him, and she wanted to talk to him again, the way they used to, before they had stopped speaking. She walked towards the Dungeons, hating each layer as she walked, and listened to the water drip onto the floors in a horror filled crypt of the scene. She, though, has been here many times, and the warmth that was once in her was now replaced with a freezing cold response.

She opened the door as a phantom breeze blew the curtains in the infinitesimal layers of drafts. Her heart had nearly skipped a beat, but she was determined to find Draco and settle this good for nothing game she most desperately wanted to forget. She looked around the empty classroom with a sigh. Where could he be? She looked around everywhere, but no source of him was present. She turned and turned and spun around, but she still had no luck.

"Draco?" She asked as her voice echoed in the empty abyss. "Draco, please, we need to talk." She said gently.

"Go away." A deep voice said from no where. She could not find the source of the voice. She sighed.

"Please, we need to talk." She said sadly. "You win." She said. "My relationship is shot to heavens; for I'm pretty sure it's over now." She said.

"Oh and why is that, Granger?" He asked with an honest desire to know.

"We had a fight about what happened between us." She spun around once again. "About what happened between you and me, I mean." She said sadly. "He said nothing, but I stated that I was unworthy and that I didn't deserve him." She said. "Look," She held her hand up. "My finger is bare."

Silence had come onto her again and this time she felt more uncomfortable than she did when Harry had not spoke. She gingerly moved the strands of hair from her eyes and looked around. Suddenly she turned, and she immediately jumped. There he stood, jumping down from the rafters, and into her presence. He did not smile, he had no emotions at all, but he had checked her finger with the greatest amount of curiosity he had ever handled in his life time.

"So, you really did leave him." He said. "But why, you loved him."

"I still do." She said. "But I need to know something." She said sincerely.

"What?" He asked embarrassed.

"I must know if you love me." She said sadly.

"Pfft, what would give you that idea, Granger?" He asked, his ego expanding into a direction that seemed almost impossible to reach.

"You told Harry something, to tell me." She said. "You said things that happen in the rain are not lies." She said reasonably. "We had kissed in the rain, Draco, once upon a time. We had fun then, and I had forgotten everything that happened before." She said. "But we had shared those moments. Were they wasted minutes Draco? Were they?"

"No, Hermione." He said, eliminating the tendency of using her last name. "They were not washed out anything." He said suddenly.

"What does that mean?" She asked curiously.

"Those moments were with you, Hermione, they could never be wasted." He said truthfully, her insides tore at her from every angle.

"You do then, don't you?" She asked.

"Love you?" He wondered and then sighed. "That is a only a mere part of the feeling I have for you. If I said I didn't love you, I'd be lying to the world, Hermione. You, though, don't deserve me. You must go, fix things with Potter." He said sadly. "That's who you are meant to love."

"Draco…" She cried.

"Don't speak." He said, kissing her one last time on the lips. "That's for what could have been." He spoke softly. "Now go. Fix things." He said sadly. "You need him, and he you. Now go, before the opportunity dies and you'll regret it the rest of your life. Love is not something you can return. You have to go to him... now!"

"What about you?" She asked.

"Don't worry about me," He said gently. "I leave in the morning."

"You can't." She said. "Where are you going?" She wondered.

"Out of your life."

Author's Notes:

Hey everyone. I know of a few people that want to kill me right now because I haven't updated, but I seriously didn't have the time. I have two different jobs now, my grades kindof insanely dropped so I had to flip to get those better, and now I'm going pretty steady. I'm going to start writing a little of the next chapters to this story each day, and then post either Saturday or Sunday of every week. I apologize again for being late at this, but I put a lot of juicy stuff in this chapter for you to enjoy!!!!

I love you all!!

To My Reviewers:

Toga Party – Thank you so much for your support with everything, and I really should think of all that you do just to read more of this story and yet I have written none. I'm starting to doubt my writing abilities and I just so badly want to quit, but slowly I am rising back up and I just can not stay away. I apologize for taking so long again; I've been a bad writer. Only good writers can write even with a writer's block, but yet I can not master that skill.

sakura–sweeti – I always love your reviews, they make me laugh so hard because you seem so wrapped up in my story yet I have given you nothing in return and I doubt you even remember the first chapters because it had been so long. I need you to be my watch guard, to make sure I get my chapters out, haha. I'm so glad you're sticking by me though; I love your enthusiasm dearly. This chapter is for you mainly, you talked about loving juicy stuff awhile ago, and this one is packed FULL of it! I really hope you like it. It took me a while to get the perfect mood and dramatic-ness of the story. Haha, I love Drama D

FroBoy – Thank you so much. I really hope you can review again.

missradcliffe – Hey, I see how it confused you now. I attempted to sum it up more in the beginning of the story. I really tried, I hope it helped!

pstibbons – Honestly I don't see how they were confusing, because I wrote them pretty clear. The reason why Ron was so OOC was because I personally hate the character. I hate him with a passion, so I basically make him evil in my stories. I don't know why I hate him so much… I just do.

That's it!

Airalynn

UPDATED: (MONDAY) MARCH 12, 2007 – 13 days ago I turned Seventeen, if anyone cares P

QUOTE:

"People believe in good luck charms because they don't have enough faith to believe in their own abilities." –Afton 3