FOREVER
'Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.'
-- Lao Tzu
-- Saturday Part 1 –
Meredith was exhausted. After her and Derek's quiet weekend celebrating their engagement at the trailer, she should feel rested. But she had been on her feet all day long. She had spent hours in surgery with Derek, George and the Chief on the accident victim from that morning. In the end, the surgery had been successful, but she had immediately been pulled into a second surgery without a chance for a breather in between. And then a third surgery.
Her day had finally been over and she had been in her street clothes, her hand wrapped tightly in Derek's, on her way out of the hospital, when he had been paged to the pit. With a short kiss and an apologetic glance, he had turned to head to the ER. Meredith would cool her heels at Joe's until she knew whether he'd be in surgery or not. There was no point in going home without him if he'd be following her in less than an hour.
"So, is the rumour true?" Joe asked, having headed her way the second his eyes had landed on her entering the bar.
"Rumour?" She repeated, collapsing into her favourite bar stool with a sigh.
He motioned towards her left arm, which she was inadvertently keeping out of sight in her lap. "Word is that McDreamy proposed on the weekend."
She rolled her eyes, even as a gentle wave of joy washed over her. "How can that already have reached you?"
Joe smiled. "So, it's true then?" He excitedly motioned to see her hand for proof.
She couldn't help the beaming smile that overtook her facial features with surprising strength, despite her exhaustion. "It's true," she responded happily, passing her hand into his care.
Joe whistled as he quickly evaluated the ring, and then released her hand with a smile. "I have to tell you; I see a lot of people go home together, but I don't get to see many of them build a home together. Congratulations."
"Thanks," she said quietly, blinking back a sudden onslaught of tears. She often forgot Joe had very literally been there at the very beginning.
"So, where's your dreamy fiancé?"
She laughed and shook her head. "He got paged."
"That's too bad. You'll have to start celebrating without him. Whatever you want tonight is on the house."
"Oh, you don't have to do that..."
"But I want to; for my favourite customer."
She smiled. "Thanks, Joe."
"So, what'll it be?"
"I'll just have a beer, thanks."
"What, now that you're spoken for, there's no more tequila?"
Meredith laughed again. "Not right now."
"Okay, one beer coming right up."
"Make that two," Alex's voice called as he plopped down next to Meredith.
"Hey," she greeted. She hadn't seen him all day.
"Did McDreamy screw up already?"
"What?"
"Well, word is you're engaged, and yet I find you here, sucking back drinks at Joe's..."
She rolled her eyes. "I'm so not 'sucking back drinks,' Alex. I'm having a beer. One beer. And Derek didn't do anything. He got paged."
"But you are engaged?"
She nodded.
He offered her an uncharacteristic smile. "Took him long enough."
She laughed. "That's not fair. I didn't exactly make it easy on him."
Alex nodded. "True."
"Hey..." She pretended to be insulted, but couldn't effectively inhibit the glowing smile controlling her lips. "You're not supposed to agree with that..." She muttered.
He shook his head and then paused, his expression becoming more serious. "Good for you," he finally stated. "You deserve to be happy, Mer. Congratulations." He leaned closer and kissed her cheek.
Meredith was momentarily taken aback. This wasn't a side to Alex she got to see very often. "Thanks, Alex."
"No problem. Although, you do know this means if he ever hurts you again, we have the right to kick his ass."
She raised an eyebrow. "We?"
He nodded. "Isn't that what you're always saying, that we're your family? If Shepherd steps out of line, it gives us the right to destroy him. O'Malley and I will- Okay, maybe not O'Malley, but Yang definitely. And maybe Izzy. You just say the word and we'll hunt him down."
Meredith laughed. "Alex..."
"I'm serious."
"I know you are, and I appreciate your offer to beat the crap out of my fiancé and everything, but I'm sure it won't be necessary."
"I'm just saying, the offer is there," he said with a shrug.
"Okay."
"Good." He nodded. "So, did you get mobbed at work today? Izzy attacked me in the hall she was so excited."
Meredith nodded. "Yeah, she attacked me too. Yelled so loud that Bailey heard from the nurses' station and came and lectured us. And all of the nurses were staring at us in surgery this morning. Oh, and Sydney Heron hugged me!"
Alex snorted. "That's the worst part right there."
She laughed and nodded her agreement. "She said something about seizing happiness and using my 'glowing emotions' to help heal her patients... Seriously, what the hell is that about?"
"You've got me. I don't get most chicks..."
"You get me."
"You're not a chick."
"Hey, I take offence to that!"
"Chill, Grey, I didn't mean it that way. I'm just saying...you don't act like most chicks. I can actually understand you...well most of the time at least."
She laughed. "Well...I guess that's a good thing." She sighed and leaned against his shoulder. "I get you, too."
He nodded and they became silent, facing forward, sipping occasionally at their beers.
She sighed.
He sighed.
She giggled at their timing.
Alex sat up straight, effectively forcing her to support her own weight again as well. "I'm not doing the heart-felt, touchy-feely thing."
She laughed. "Did I ask you to?"
"Things were going in that direction..." He took a long gulp of beer.
"Whatever."
Unbeknownst to Meredith, a figure slid into the seat next to her as her attention was on Alex. "So, is this a good place to hang out?" Came the excessively chauvinistic, cocky, and familiar, voice.
She turned to meet Derek's laughing eyes and shook her head, but Alex spoke up before she could.
"Dude, seriously, even if it's a joke, that line is embarrassing. At least use something that actually works."
Derek swung his arm tightly around Meredith's waist and smirked at Alex. "It worked when it had to."
Alex turned a pointed look to Meredith and shook his head. "Grey, I'm disappointed in you. You fell for that?"
Derek was laughing beside her, but she ignored him, still focussed on Alex. "Hey, that's not fair. There were other factors in play..."
Alex clicked his tongue and shifted his attention to Derek. "Seriously, that's all it took?"
"Well, that and 'I'm someone you could get to know to love.'"
"Alex! Derek!" She exclaimed. "Stop talking about me."
Alex shook his head. "You don't get to stand up for yourself when you let him pick you up with that garbage."
Derek laughed as he tightened his hold around her and pressed his lips against the side of her head. "Hey, don't mock the material. Not only was I successful; I was right."
"Derek!" She exclaimed. "I said to stop talking about me."
"I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about us."
She shook her head as he smirked and kissed her again. She turned to Alex. "You know what; I just may take you up on that offer of yours sooner than expected..."
000
Meredith blinked. The small action of pressing her eyelids together was all it took to move from the very beginning of the realm of awake to fully awake. It was relatively early. She had been up quite late the night before. She hadn't enjoyed as many hours of sleep as her body was probably requiring. But it didn't matter.
Meredith wasn't tired. She wasn't groggy. She wasn't clinging to sleep. She was fully awake.
She, Meredith Grey, was getting married. In just a matter of hours, she wouldn't be Meredith Grey anymore. There were no more days left to count down to. This was it.
Pressing her nose into the soft pillow supporting her head, she inhaled deeply. It smelled like Derek. She smiled and snuggled closer for just a moment. Having fallen asleep on his side of the bed, everything smelled like him. And he was the only thing missing to make this a perfect morning.
But he would be beside her the following morning. And the morning after that. And the morning after that...
He would be beside her for the rest of their lives.
Meredith took a deep breath and swung her legs out of the bed. The rest of her body followed quickly as she sat up, ready to greet the life-altering day. She was ready.
--
Derek yawned as his mind fought for consciousness. He stretched his legs downward and unconsciously reached out towards the space beside him. His hand fell on cold, empty mattress and he started; the realization of what day he had woken to washing over him like a dam bursting under the pressure of millions of gallons of water.
There was a very good reason she wasn't beside him this morning.
It was their wedding day.
He couldn't help the beaming smile that overtook his lips as he sat up and sighed. His heart was beating a little too quickly; out of nerves or excitement or any combination of the two, Derek didn't know. But he was waking up sober and healthy this time. He hadn't needed to drown his nerves and fears and insecurities at the bar the night before like he had done twelve years ago.
There weren't any doubts or fears this time. Just a lingering tingle of nerves; normal, expected, not altogether unwanted. He could definitely live with this.
He was getting married today. For the last time.
There wasn't a doubt in his mind that this was it. Meredith was the woman he was meant to be with. She was the love of his life. And no one else would ever compare. He was done. He had found that thing that so many people strive for their entire lives; that thing that makes you feel like you're missing something if you're without it, like you're not complete.
Derek Shepherd felt complete.
He had found Meredith Grey.
And yes, they had been through more than their fare share of issues. But somehow over the past two years they had learned to trust each other again, and their feelings had only grown stronger. And the past December, he had gotten down on one knee and asked her for a lifetime. There had been no hesitation in her eyes when she had dropped to her knees before him and given him everything he had ever wanted. This really was it; the beginning of the rest of his life, their life.
This was it.
No more days left; only hours.
000
The living room was a sea of people and colours; her friends, and Derek's mother, sisters and other family members Meredith was being introduced to too quickly to keep track of any of them. Everyone was dressed up, men in suits and women in colourful dresses and tops. The bridal party stuck out in their purple dresses; deep, dark purple for the bridesmaids, light, lilac purple for the flower girls. Hand held bouquets were strewn around the room strategically to keep them safe and together for the ceremony.
Spencer's photography team had set up a table in the corner to handle the offloading of the pictures as the cards filled up. They were currently focussing expert eyes onto the many framed photographs gracing the living room walls.
People chatted and laughed and reminisced. Children danced happily from adult to adult. Carol was beside herself with joy. Derek's sisters were overly supportive and excited. Izzy was off the wall. Cristina was even mingling with some of the guests, sniffing out other doctors in the sea of Shepherds.
The air was upbeat and optimistic. This was a happy day.
And Meredith couldn't breathe.
Her hair was done and her make up was flawless; thanks to a combined effort by Nancy and Izzy. Her dress was hanging, ready to be donned at her ready, and she was currently dressed in jeans and one of Derek's button-ups, to prevent mussing her hair when it was time to change. She was wearing her engagement ring, her necklace and silver earrings. Cristina had a copy of her vows on cue cards in case she needed them; she doubted she would. Everything was ready. And yet, she couldn't breathe.
She managed to slip from the room unnoticed, taking refuge in the small den in the side hallway. It was, thankfully, empty. She paced back and forth several times before collapsing into the old, plush chair she and Derek had shared the previous Thanksgiving. She could still remember their quiet conversation with and without his mother.
'A year ago, I had a job and a house and a few friends. But now I have a career, and wonderful friends, and ahome. And most of all, I have you. And you're helping me to do things that I never thought I'd be able to do, much less want. But I do want it; everything. You've made me want everything. And you're right there beside me at every step and I...I just can't believe that all of this is actually happening.'
'It's pretty amazing, isn't it?' He had smiled at her.
Meredith closed her eyes, willing her mind back to that evening, imagining the feel of Derek's arms around her. And very slowly, things began to feel less out of control. She breathed deep, revelling in the smell wafting around her from the worn fabric of his shirt. She hadn't brought anything with buttons, and was offered a shirt by all four of Derek's sisters so she wouldn't have trouble with her hair, but she had eagerly pulled a shirt out of his suitcase, knowing she would need a whiff of him with her that morning.
Light footsteps echoed through the hall, stopping in the doorway of the den. Meredith sighed and turned her head, meeting the comforting blue eyes every one of the Shepherd's seemed to have.
"Hi," she offered meekly to the woman who would be her mother-in-law in only a few short hours.
Carol smiled warmly and moved to sit across from her. "Are you alright, dear?"
"Yeah...I'm just a little overwhelmed...just needed a few moments away from all the people."
"It's a big day. That can happen. It's good to take a few minutes for yourself."
Meredith nodded, grateful that her sudden solace in isolation was okay. "There are a lot of people here."
Carol nodded. "We have a large family." She hesitated. "Are you okay with there being so many people you don't know?"
Meredith nodded. "Yeah, it's okay. I'm okay."
"Just overwhelmed..."
She laughed despite herself. "Yeah..."
"Are you having second thoughts? Or cold feet?"
"No," she said honestly. "I can quite honestly say that I don't think I've ever been more certain of anything."
Carol smiled. "Good. So, we're just dealing with nerves."
"I guess. I just feel like time has stopped moving. I mean, everyone seems to be here. And everything is ready. And the thing's still over an hour away."
"Ah, so we're getting caught up in the anticipation."
"Yeah," Meredith breathed. "Yeah, I guess that's exactly what it is. There's just so much build up, but so much time left. And so much going on. I just needed some quiet."
"Like I said, that's perfectly okay, dear. It's your wedding day. This day is about you. And whatever you need or want, it's our job to make it happen."
Meredith laughed. "You guys have all already been amazing in making all of this happen. I..." She trailed off with a sudden wave of emotion. "I still can't believe we made this happen so quickly. And I know it never would have happened without your help."
"It's what we're here for, dear."
She laughed. "Did you know that Derek says that?"
"What's that, dear?"
"The phrase; 'what I'm here for.' He says it all the time."
Carol laughed. "I didn't know." She sighed. "Sam used to say it. I think I must have picked it up from him."
"Derek, uh...he took me out to the...cemetery yesterday. That's where we were in the morning."
Carol's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Good. I know he hadn't been back since he left for college." She smiled at Meredith. "I'm so glad he's got you to support him now."
"Oh, it wasn't my idea..."
"I know, dear, but having you beside him is making him a stronger person. I mean he was always confident and successful, but there's something else now. He's got a new strength. And that comes from you, Meredith. He's allowing himself to be who he really is, because he has someone in his life who loves that person. And that, my dear, is exactly what marriage is about. It's about loving each other for who you are. You can't hide yourself away and you can't wish for the other person to become someone else."
Meredith nodded, her eyes welling at the realization that this was the first time she was being given any form of parental advice regarding her love life. "I think we tried to hide ourselves at first... After we got back together things were okay for a while, but they went downhill because we weren't talking..."
How can two people be in a relationship and not talk?
"It's good that you fixed that so soon."
I want you to know me.
Meredith nodded. "It is. Though I don't think we had any choice. We kind of hit a wall, and it was either learn to talk, or...give up. And neither of us is willing to give up."
Let's make this our last shot. Let's make it the chance that sticks. No giving up, no walking away, no excuses. Let's make it work this time...I have faith in you. And I have faith in us. When I told you, that when I met you I thought I was done, that I have found the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with? I still mean it. I still feel it. We got sidetracked. That's all. I still want it.
"I'm so glad to hear that," Carol said quietly. "It will make your first few years easier, now that you've already gone through that. But keep in mind that the first year or two can be difficult. A lot of couples second guess themselves. And there can be a lot of arguments. But it's worth it."
Meredith nodded. "Okay...plough on through the first few years; I'll keep that in mind."
Carol laughed. "Good."
Meredith smiled, suddenly breathing easier. Time was finally ticking by. She turned back to Carol, suddenly apprehensive. "Is there anything else I should know?"
Carol smiled reassuringly and shook her head. "I'm sure you two will be able to handle anything that comes your way."
"Thanks," Meredith responded, grateful for Carol's faith in them. "But I just meant... I've never done this before, the whole marriage thing and all...and I didn't exactly have a great role model growing up. And even if my mother was alive and actually brought herself to come out here for the wedding, I'm sure she wouldn't have anything to tell me. So, I guess what I'm saying is that...if you have any other advice or whatever, that I'm all ears, even if you think I won't need it. Because really, I probably haven't heard it..."
How am I supposed to know that?
You've never done this before...
No, I've never done this before.
Carol raised an eyebrow and regarded her for a long moment. Her lips curled upwards into a smile. "Derek is right; you do ramble quite easily."
"I'm sorry," Meredith said quickly, closing her eyes as her cheeks reddened.
"Nothing to be sorry for." She smiled. "I'd love to tell you all that I know about love and marriage, Meredith. But I assure you that you are doing better than you seem to think. And I will always be here for advice. No matter when or for what, you can always call me, dear."
I will always show up.
"Thank-you." She swallowed hard, her throat suddenly thick and dry.
"And as for wedding day advice..." she raised an eyebrow, "...assuming you don't need wedding night advice..."
I was wearing my good-looking red shirt and you took advantage... Do you want to take advantage again?
Meredith's throat was now bone dry and her cheeks hotter than she had ever felt. She shook her head and averted her eyes. Even if she did need the advice, that was not something she would ever willingly discuss with Derek's mother.
"I'd implore you to use the bathroom right before you change into your dress, and to watch your drinks at the reception. It's not a fun thing to drag a friend into the bathroom to hold your dress while you pee."
Meredith laughed. "Okay."
"And keep in mind that this day is about you and Derek and no one else. You need to say what you're feeling without worrying about any of the guests."
I came here to say...but now all I can say is...I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you forever.
"Okay."
"And don't let yourself regret anything. This is a day you will remember forever, Meredith. So say what you're feeling. Smile. Dance. Do any and all of the embarrassing wedding day stuff. Pose for all the pictures. Enjoy yourself."
You know, some people would call this a relationship...
"Okay."
"And after today, just take it one day at a time. Marriage is hard, but it's worth it."
If it was easy, it wouldn't be worth it.
"Right."
"You go it?"
She nodded. "I think so."
"Good. Now I only have one thing to do before we get back to all the people."
Meredith furrowed her brow. "What?"
Carol sat forward on her chair, motioning for Meredith do to the same. She opened her hand, revealing a simple, silver band. "This bracelet has been in the Shepherd family for many generations. It was given to me by my mother-in-law a few weeks before she died, with the instructions that I was to pass it on to the love of my son's life. I think traditionally it's been kept much longer, but I want you to have it now, dear."
Meredith gaped, but couldn't form words. Her eyes were welling and she knew Izzy and Nancy were going to be angry when they would have to redo her makeup. "I...can't..."
"You can. And you will. It's meant to go to you, Meredith, as a reminder of the family you have become a part of. And one day you and Derek will have a son, and you will pass it on to your own daughter-in-law."
Meredith blinked against the pool welling in her eyes. "Carol..."
Carol shifted closer and reached for her hand, gently fastening the band around her wrist. When she was finished, she laid her hand over the bracelet, gripping lightly to Meredith's arm. "I know you're not used to this, Meredith, but I want you to always remember that you have a family now. We will always be here for you. Always. And we want to be a part of your life. We may be nosey and annoying, as Derek calls us, but we're here for you. And we love you."
Meredith squeezed her eyes shut at the last phrase. "I've never even heard my own mother say that to me..." She whispered.
Carol clicked her tongue. "Well, it's true. I love you, dear."
"I love you, too," she breathed. And suddenly she was crying in full and Carol's strong arms were wrapped tightly around her. Meredith had no idea how much time passed as she was rocked by Carol's gentle, soothing nature. When she finally calmed and sat up, Carol was still smiling warmly at her.
"You won't ever be alone again, Meredith."
"Thank-you," she said quietly, inhaling deeply as she wiped at her face, knowing it must be a mess.
"There's no thanks required, Meredith. Now, if you just stay put for a moment, I'll go grab my daughter and your friend, and we'll get your make-up fixed."
Meredith breathed when she was left alone, her fingers sliding over the metal of the new band set around her wrist. The smooth, cool, texture was comforting, knowing she wasn't the first to wear it. Derek's mother and grandmother had worn it. And great-grandmother. And great-great-grandmother. And who knew how many more.
Her wedding day ensemble was now complete. She had her something old.
--
"You nervous, man?"
Derek rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time. The girls had taken over the living room, in full wedding mode, so he was commanded to stay confined to the basement. Mark was proving to be a good Best Man, and had barely left his side all morning. His brothers-in-law seemed to be cycling through an alternating pattern; taking turns spending time in the basement with them.
"No, I'm still not nervous. Just like I wasn't five minutes ago."
Spencer laughed. "Sorry, man, but it's like the wedding day question."
"So I've noticed," he responded dryly.
"Anyway, I was sent to tell you that everything is still going on schedule. I think most everyone is here. And Meredith hasn't run for the hills yet."
Mark snorted at the comment, but true to his important job, had the decency to look offended for Derek.
Derek rolled his eyes. "You two are so good to me..."
"What did I do?" Mark asked.
Derek ignored him, his attention still trained on his brother-in-law. "Seriously, is she doing okay?" He knew she would be swarmed by new family members she hadn't met yet. And a small twinge of worry had settled in his gut that she wouldn't be able to handle it all. Once she had ventured back out into the world again, she had made improvement in leaps and bounds, but this was a very novel situation.
"She seems fine. Aunt Alice loved her."
Derek nodded. His mother's younger sister loved everyone. "That's good." Despite the tradition, he yearned to be upstairs, introducing her to his family. He wanted to be by her side.
Spencer paused, before continuing more seriously. "Really, man, she's doing fine. Your mom is keeping a close eye on her. She's not going anywhere."
"I'm not worried about her disappearing..."
"Good, cause you have nothing to worry about. I finally got a decent receiver in this family; I'm not letting her go without a fight."
Derek snorted. "Seriously? It's my wedding day and you're talking about football?"
His brother-in-law shrugged and offered him a goofy grin. "Priorities, man..."
"I'll have to remember to tell Anna you said that."
"On second thought..."
Derek smirked. "That's what I thought."
"There's my favourite nephew! Hiding out in the basement..."
Derek turned to see his Aunt Joyce striding towards them. He smiled and stood to greet her.
"Derek, Derek, Derek..."she shook her head. "I haven't seen you in at least three years."
"Aunt Joyce, how are you?" He asked warmly, standing to give her a quick hug.
"I'm good, Derek, but aren't I supposed to be asking you that today?"
"I don't know, are you?"
She laughed. "You never change, do you? How are you, Derek? Nervous? Excited?"
"Mostly excited. A little nervous."
"Well, that's the right ratio."
"I hope so."
"What's got you banned to the basement?"
"That would be the power of the very bossy sisters," Mark spoke up.
Derek nodded his agreement. "But it's okay. Not too much time left." He smiled. "Did you meet Meredith?"
Joyce shook her head. "No, I didn't. I think maybe the girls are staring to get ready. I did meet a bridesmaid, though. Very exuberant young woman."
"Izzy," Derek supplied. "Mer's friend and old roommate."
"Yes, well, very nice girl. And I'm sure I'll like my new niece when I meet her."
"You'll love her," Derek agreed.
She shook her head at her nephew. "You have to say that."
"That may be so, but it's also true. She's amazing." He ignored his Best man and brother-in-law, who were exchanging a look.
"I'm glad you're happy, Derek." She offered him a smile. "So...have the two of you talked about having children?"
Derek laughed. "Why, are you worried?" His mother and Joyce had been in friendly competition about the number of grandkids they had ever since the first had been born. Carol had been holding a small lead for several years, but Joyce's daughter Carly had given birth to number fourteen two months previous. The sisters were now neck and neck, tied at fourteen each.
Joyce laughed. "I just need to know how much pressure I need to start exerting on my kids, Derek...This is the closest to the lead I've been in years, ever since that sister of yours screwed me over by having twins."
He shook his head. "Nat screwed you over?" Natalie and Phil had twin six year old boys.
"Yes, I was in the lead, Derek, and in one pregnancy she knocked me back to second."
"Well, we're still talking about some stuff," Derek answered smoothly, not wanting to discuss too much with his aunt right away. "But I'm sure we won't be a threat to you for awhile at least."
"Good to hear, Derek, good to hear," she said with a laugh.
000
Silence.
Meredith stared at her reflection, oddly reminiscent of only two days prior in the bridal shop, though this time she was only contending with one reflection staring back, and not three. But still, when she moved her arm, the corresponding arm in the reflection moved as well.
The dress fit her like a dream, hugging her body from top to bottom. It was her something new. She wasn't uncomfortable in it, and was infinitely glad she had gone for simplicity. Izzy and the owner of the dress shop had tried to steer her towards a more fancy style, but she had resisted. She wanted to be beautiful for Derek, she did. But she still wanted to be the person he had fallen in love with. And the Meredith he had fallen in loved with liked simple things.
The simple silver chain Derek had given her as a congratulations for passing her intern exam almost a year before was the only thing she wore around her neck, the custom scalpel pendant hanging from it. She had been offered any number jewellery combinations and sets from Derek's family, but had again chosen to stick with what she was comfortable in. He had given her this necklace. She loved it and cherished it above any others possible. There was no other necklace she wanted to get married in. Earrings, her engagement ring and her new bracelet were the only other ornaments that graced her body. Other than the dark blue garter belt she had slipped on under her dress, of course. Her something blue.
Her hair was done up into some kind of twisted, clipped, messy, elegant, simple, up, concoction that Izzy had come up with. Tendrils hung from all over, but still kept up the illusion of being 'up.' Kathleen's shoes – her something borrowed – gave her an extra two inches of height.
Meredith shook her head slightly at her reflection.
"Everything okay?" Izzy asked, sliding over to stand next to her, looking perfect and polished and natural in her deep purple dress.
"I...think so."
"You look gorgeous, Mer," she reassured.
Meredith gazed into the mirror. She did look good. "I just hope..."
"What?"
She felt her cheeks heat slightly. "I hope he thinks so, too."
"Derek?"
"Yeah."
Izzy laughed. "Seriously, Meredith, he's going to be blown away. This may actually be a problem. You may knock the breath out of him so hard that we'll have to resuscitate him."
No self control. It's sad, really...
Meredith giggled, glad for the humour at least.
"I'm serious."
"Sure, Iz," she responded, sarcasm heavy in her voice."
Izzy looped an arm around her waist. "Seriously, Meredith, that man is so taken by you that you could wear a burlap bag down the aisle and he'd still think you were beautiful. You should see the way he looks at you."
"Thanks, Iz." She sighed, still staring at her reflection. "I just...never expected to see myself like this..."
It's something...it's something really big.
"What, wearing white to your wedding?" Cristina said lightly, appearing on her other side, her outfit matching Izzy's.
"Cristina!" Izzy exclaimed, unhooking her arm from Meredith to swipe at Cristina. "That's not something you say on someone's wedding day!"
Cristina dodged her roommate's hand with a laugh. "Whatever."
"Not whatever..."
Meredith laughed as her two best friends argued back and forth around her. Her heart started to flutter, knowing the time she had once been so anxious to get through was running out. Her hand came up to her neck unbidden to wrap around the thin chain. She was getting married. Soon.
"Seriously, Mer," Cristina started, finally having pulled her attention away from Izzy, "you look good. McDreamy's gonna go all soft and mushy and all that crap."
"Thanks, Cris," she said lightly, knowing her best friend was trying her best. She breathed. "Is this really happening?"
Tell you what, blonde-y, if you don't marry him I will.
"I think so-" Izzy cut herself off with a huff. "No. Meredith, stop," she demanded. "You're not allowed to cry again. We've already fixed your makeup once."
Meredith blinked furiously. "I'm sorry, Iz. I'm sorry. I can't...help it. God, there's no freaking way I'm going to get through the freaking ceremony. This is freaking ridiculous," she ranted.
"Ah, there's the Meredith I know and love," Cristina said quickly. "I knew she was still in there somewhere."
"Cristina, shut up. Meredith, stop crying."
Meredith laughed at Cristina's comment and Izzy's attempt to control everything. "I'm trying."
"Good." Izzy swung her arm around Meredith again, swiping at Cristina as she did so and sending her a glare in the mirror before them.
Cristina rolled her eyes, but followed suit and hooked an arm around Meredith as well. "Here, look at how good of a Maid of Honour I am, Mer. I'm hugging you."
"This isn't hugging."
"It is for me."
Meredith laughed as Izzy muttered something incoherent under her breath. "Seriously, guys, thank-you so much for being here. I...I need you both here. I couldn't get married without you."
000
Glad to be out of the basement, Derek made his way through the throngs of guests outside. He had been assured Meredith was safely hidden in the tent with Izzy and Cristina, going over last minute bride-wedding stuff. And apparently it was okay for her to see him, but not for him to see her. He didn't agree, but he wasn't going to argue with his sisters. He never won.
"Derek Shepherd," a familiar voice called from behind him. "So, you really did finally get that girl to marry you. I wasn't going to believe it until I actually saw it."
"Miranda," he greeted as he turned around.
She shook her head at him. "More than two thousand miles away from the hospital, and you're still far too cocky."
"How is that possible? I haven't done or said anything..."
"Dr. Bailey, might I comment on how lovely you're looking this afternoon?" Mark said smoothly as he appeared beside Derek. "And may I even go so far as to request you for a dance this evening?"
"You're not any better than your friend, here, Mark."
"Hey," Derek said quickly. "If anything, he's far worse than me. All I did was say your name."
"Wait," Mark cut in. "How come Derek gets to call you Miranda and you get to call me Mark, but I don't get to call you Miranda?"
"Something like that is earned, Mark."
He looked incredulous. "And can I ask how you've earned the right?"
"Hello," Derek interrupted. "Can we come back to me for just a second here?"
Mark clicked his tongue, turning to Bailey. "See, it's always about him with this guy..."
Derek swiped his hand at his Best Man. "It's my freaking wedding day. It's allowed to be about me for just a few moments today."
Mark scoffed. "Whatever, man, I have Best Man things to do. I'll catch up in a bit." And with that he was gone.
Derek shook his head and turned back to Bailey.
She smiled at him and shook her head. "Seriously, Derek, how are you holding up?"
"Good. It was quite the adventure to put this all together in less than a week, but I'm glad we did."
"And how is my resident?"
"Good, I hope," he added. "I haven't seen her since seven last night. My sisters are very strict on the whole not seeing the bride before the wedding rule."
Bailey raised an eyebrow. "Derek Shepherd actually listens to someone?"
"Very funny." He shook his head in good humour. "And I'm a little outnumbered here; four very demanding sisters, who are already converting Meredith to their side, by the way...and four brothers-in-law who are not up to the challenge of taking them on."
She laughed. "Good for them."
"Somehow I knew you were going to say that."
She paused. "I was surprised you two decided to invite the chief."
He nodded. Bailey had been there that night as well. Her feelings had been hurt, and she too had made her feelings clear many times. "Mer left it up to me. I...went back and forth for a while, but in the end...I guess if I can forgive Mark I can forgive Richard."
"You are a good man, Derek."
He raised an eyebrow. "Miranda Bailey, was that...a compliment?"
She smirked. "Yes. And that's all you get. And you only get it because it's your wedding day."
Derek laughed, his eyes catching Richard and Adele across the small field. "He led me to her, you know?" He said quietly, knowing she would understand. "If he hadn't called when he called...I never would have gone to Seattle. And no matter how hard I tried to hate him, I couldn't make myself forget that."
"Good for you."
He breathed, somehow relieved that Bailey supported his decision. There was something about the woman that made him constantly strive to gain her approval. Because if you lived your life by her moral code, you were living a good life.
"Derek!" A friendly voice cut in.
Derek smiled at Bailey's husband, their young son on his hip. "Tucker, how are you? How's your head doing these days?"
He laughed and shook Derek's hand. "Great, thanks to you."
"Tucker, what have we talked about," Bailey chastised. "Dr. Shepherd has a large enough ego already. We don't need to go inflating it further."
Derek rolled his eyes. "Thank-you both for coming," he offered. "I know it's a long way."
Miranda regarded him closely for several seconds. "You and that girl are very important to me, Derek. I wouldn't have missed this."
He smiled.
"But let me tell you something," she continued. "I will be watching you, Shepherd. So you had better treat her right. Because if you so much as step out of line..."
Derek shook his head. "Never going to happen, Miranda. I'm going to treat her how she deserves for the rest of her life."
000
The sky was calm and blue and quiet. Light, puffy clouds sat on the horizon. The sun filtered down to the green grass surrounding them, but it was not too hot. A light breeze swept across the filed often enough to keep the air comfortable and free. Gentle music was being played to serve as background ambience as the cheerful guests mingled and gradually found their seats. The entire environment was quiet and serene and calm and...clashing unbearably with her emotions.
Hidden from view of the guests and her groom, Meredith stood within the protective cover of the closest tent to the ceremony and breathed. It was taking effort to force oxygen in and out of her lungs every few seconds. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest. Her mouth was dry. Her throat was tight. And she was pretty sure she was shaking. There wasn't much time left now. The last of the guests were being seated.
"You're not going to take off, are you?" The question cut through the thick air around her like a knife.
"Cristina!" Izzy chastised. "You are so the worst Maid of Honour I have ever seen."
"That's not fair. She's still here, isn't she? And I have my motivational speech ready if she tried to flee."
"You mean the stop whining speech?" Izzy scoffed.
"Hey, if I got it from her, doesn't that mean she was the worst Maid of Honour ever?"
"I was not," Meredith found herself replying. "I got you down the freaking aisle, didn't I?"
"Yes, and I'm going to return the favour."
"I'm not going to need help getting to the freaking altar."
"Uh, Mer, you are going to stop adding 'freaking' in front of every noun, right? Cause that doesn't go well in a wedding."
Meredith breathed and nodded at Izzy. "Okay, stop saying 'freaking.' I can do that. Let's go over everything else again. I wait until you two are down at the altar."
"Right."
"I walk slowly and I don't fall on my face." The catering team had laid down a thin carpet, but the floor beneath it was still grass, and therefore not altogether flat. She was now grateful part of her party the night before had included being dragged down the hill in the dark to walk around in her shoes. She had rolled her eyes at Natalie's insistence, but had gone along with it, thinking it was just a fun, traditional thing that people did before they got married. But she had been infinitely glad for the insistence when she had first stepped onto the uneven grass in her heels; it wasn't as easy as she had expected.
"Right; falling is bad. Just go slow."
"Okay. No falling. And when I get there I give Cristina my flowers."
"Sure, make Cristina do all the work..."
"Shut up," Izzy ordered before turning back to Meredith. "And Cristina has your vows. And I have Kleenex, just in case."
Meredith breathed. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. "Okay. And you're going to hit me if I start to ramble, right?" She turned an expectant eye to Cristina.
"Of course, that's my favourite responsibility as Main of Honour; hit the bride when she gets too talky."
"You're not going to ramble, Mer," Izzy reassured.
"Oh, come on, Iz. I ramble all the freaking time. And I don't want to get up there and be completely incoherent. Derek deserves a coherent...girlfriend, fiancée...wife..." She swallowed hard. "...Whatever for once. He deserves for me to be beautiful and graceful and coherent."
"Well, the beautiful seems to be working for you today, but the graceful and the coherent..."
"Cristina!" Izzy exclaimed again. "Can you please stop? She's freaking out enough as it is."
"I am not freaking out."
"You're shaking." She pointed out.
"I'm nervous...and scared...and...nervous...but I'm not freaking out. I'm going to do this. I want to do this. I love him. He loves me. We're getting married. It's simple, right?"
"Exactly."
Even Cristina seemed to recognize something in her tone and nodded. "Simple as that."
Meredith inhaled deeply. "I can do this."
"You can."
"I mean, I know I can do this, but..." She trailed off and nodded to herself, trying to instill confidence. "I can do this well. I can do it without falling. And without rambling. And without saying 'freaking.' And without...doing a host of other things associated with, well, me."
Silence.
"Guys! You're supposed to agree with me."
"We will if you want us to lie."
"It's okay if you do some of them...in moderation. No one will care," Izzy placated, obviously not confident in Meredith's abilities to get through the ceremony without any incidence.
Meredith groaned and buried her face in her hands.
"No. Don't do that. You'll ruin your make-up again." Izzy pulled her hands away and held them firmly. "Mer, you really are shaking."
"No, I'm not," she said meekly.
"Oh, you so are. Are you sure you don't want anyone to walk you? That way you'd at least have someone to keep you calm...and make sure you don't fall. I can get George. I'm sure he'd love to do it."
Meredith shook her head. "No, I'm going to do it by myself. I want to do it by myself. It's...symbolic, or whatever. I am an independent woman. I've gotten this far in life on my own. And I can surely walk the next forty feet by myself, thank-you very much."
"Are you sure you don't want me to get George?"
Cristina scoffed. "Seriously, Iz, you think it would be appropriate for the Bride to get walked down the aisle by the last guy she slept with before the Groom?"
"Crap. I forgot about that. But, come on, if the Best Man slept with the last Bride, the new Bride can get walked down the aisle with someone she slept with..."
"We are not having this discussion..." Meredith mumbled.
Izzy sighed. "Fine, how about Alex? He'd do it for you, Mer. You guys have the weird, sibling-y, understating thing going on. Can I go get him?"
"No, Iz. I'm fine by myself."
"Well, what about...Joe? That would be good. He's practically your therapist with the amount of time you've spent ranting about McDreamy at the bar...and he was there at the beginning...and-"
"Iz, what are you trying to do, pimp her out?"
"Excuse me, pimp her out? It's her freaking wedding day. I'm trying to help."
"Well, it's obviously not working."
"Stop!" Meredith exclaimed. "Seriously, I love you, but you two are going to make me crazy. We're out of time. I will walk by myself, because I want to. I will be fine. I will...I really think I will. And you will stop me if I ramble. And you have the vows and the Kleenex... I'll be fine..."
"Right, you'll be fine," Izzy said brightly.
There was a rustling as the canvas flap was pulled back. Kathleen appeared, shepherding three small children in front of her. "Hey, I'm just dropping off the rest of your wedding party. We're going to start soon if you're ready."
Meredith nodded. "I'm...ready. I think."
Kathleen offered her imminent sister-in-law a warm smile. "Trust me, Mer, that means you're ready. The 'I think' part doesn't go away until you're down there."
"Okay. Okay, thanks."
"You look beautiful."
"Thanks."
Kathleen nodded and left.
"You do look beautiful, Aunt Meredith," Stephanie said with a grin.
Megan nodded her agreement.
"Thanks, girls." Meredith plastered what she hoped to be an easy smile on her face. She definitely didn't need to be freaking out in front of the kids. "And I'm so glad you two are flower girls," she added.
They both beamed. Their older sister, Caitlyn and most of their cousins had been flower girls before, but this was their first time. They were both excited.
"I think you look bute-ful too," Spencer spoke up, looking absolutely adorable in his small black jacket, his unruly, light brown hair combed to keep it as neat as possible.
Meredith couldn't help but smile at the small boy; the second youngest of the grandkids. "Thanks, Spency. And thank-you for doing such an important job today."
He nodded emphatically. "I have the rings!" He exclaimed, patting his jacket pocket.
"He's so cute," Izzy whispered behind her.
The music started to play, signalling it was time. Everything was ready.
"You two are going to be behind me, right?" Izzy asked, only a hint of suspicion in her voice, as she motioned for the kids to exit the tent first. She would send them down the aisle and then follow.
"Yup, right behind you," Cristina said quickly. "The faster we get down there, the faster this whole thing is over and I can take off my freaking shoes."
Meredith closed her eyes as Izzy disappeared through the curtained doorway from the tent, and was surprised when a hand wrapped around her wrist, gripping tightly. She opened her eyes to see Cristina staring intently at her.
"Okay, Grey, we have like less than a minute here. So...listen up. And keep in mind that none of this is to be portrayed as me being the least but touchy-feely. You will be fine. Because we, you and me, can do stuff like this, okay? You will walk down that aisle behind me on steady feet and get married to your McDreamy."
"I know."
"Good. And whatever 'Meredith' thing you do, don't worry about it. Because Shepherd loves you. He loves you. Not the person he wants you to be, like Burke did, but you. And that is so painfully obvious to anyone who sees him. So, if you trip or stutter or ramble or fall or say the wrong thing or...whatever...don't worry about it, because all of those traits and tendencies are things he's fallen in love with. Okay?"
Meredith nodded, taken aback by Cristina's words, and surprised by just how much she needed to hear them. Izzy was an amazing friend, and she had done so much for Meredith in preparing for this wedding and in every other aspect of her life in the past two years. But there was still that special understanding that Meredith shared with Cristina. Her best friend always came through when Meredith needed her to. And she always knew the right thing to say. "Okay."
"Good. Now, let's do this thing. If I don't see you behind me when I get up there, I'm going to come back here and drag you by your heels."
Meredith laughed, expelling some tension as she did so. It felt good. "There won't be any need for that."
"Good. I'll see you up there."
She disappeared too.
Meredith was alone. She breathed, deep and even, her nerves anxiously anticipating what was to come. She was ready. She was ready. She was ready. She was.
I'll see you tomorrow...
I'll be waiting...
She, Meredith Grey, was ready to get married to the guy of her dreams. Suddenly all of the effort Ellis had put into teaching her daughter to stay far away from forming personal attachments faded into the background. Meredith had overcome her upbringing. She didn't need her best friend to prove people like them could get their happy endings; she was going to prove it herself. She was going to be happy. She and Derek were going to spend the rest of their lives together. That was all that mattered now.
So, we're kissing, but we're not dating?
It's intense...
Now who's chasing.
I've been in love with you...forever.
I'll always show up.
It's what I'm here for.
Marry me.
With a last, deep breath, she lifted the curtain back and stepped out, a wave of calm rushing over her now that she was actually making a move to do something. She turned towards the mass of people, but she didn't see any of them.
She didn't see the relieved look on Izzy and Cristina's faces; the only thing they had agreed on all day.
She didn't see the supportive looks from the rest of her Seattle family.
She didn't see the warm smiles from her new family.
She didn't see the encouraging smirk on Mark's face.
All she saw was Derek.
They locked eyes and suddenly she was moving forward without any conscious input. She didn't notice the bumps in the ground that Cristina had tripped on. She didn't pay attention to her speed. She didn't notice the flashes from the cameras as she made her way down the aisle. All she saw was Derek. His brilliant, shining blue eyes were holding hers hostage.
At this moment, she lived and breathed for him. And at this moment she just needed to get to him. At this moment she only had a few moments left before she was his wife.
--
Derek's breath caught in his throat as Meredith stepped out of the tent. She looked...well, there didn't seem to exist an adjective strong enough to describe her. She was breath-taking. Beautiful. Elegant. Perfect. His.
She was absolutely perfect. And it was all he could do to breathe.
Izzy had exited the tent first, and after she had sent the three bouncing children towards him, had made easy work of walking down the aisle. And her expression had only given away a small glimmer of worry as she shot him an encouraging smile. The pause between her reaching the altar and Cristina appearing to begin her march was a little longer than expected. Just long enough for Mark to step forward and whisper something comforting to Derek and mention the flask he was keeping in his coat pocket.
But Cristina had stepped out and made her way down the aisle, only stumbling once. And there wasn't a hint of worry in her eyes. She knew Meredith was behind her. Derek drew confidence from that.
With barely a pause, Meredith was stepping out of the tent, and the past two years had come flooding back to Derek in one strong wave. After everything they had been through, they were finally here.
Stop looking at me like that...like you've seen me naked.
I'm drawing a line.
Take me for a ride, Derek.
I know this place where there's an amazing view of sunrise over the ferry boats.
I want to let you in.
You make me happy.
Yes.
Looking absolutely stunning in her white dress, Meredith turned towards him. And the very moment their eyes met, Derek was lost. The rest of the world disappeared. Nothing existed but her. She was everything. She was beautiful. And breathtaking. And miraculously simple. And...his. His heart was pounding and his stomach was fluttering and his hands were shaking and his throat was dry, but he didn't even notice.
She made her way down the aisle towards him with ease; but he wouldn't have noticed if she had tripped. Her green eyes seemed to go on forever, drawing him in so deep he felt like he was touching her. When she was still steps away, he found himself unable to wait another second to touch her. He was drawn towards her, stepping off the altar to reach for her hand.
And for a moment, everything around them stopped, capturing them in a bubble of time and space where they was only a here and a now. Their fingers intertwined and their eyes continued to be locked on each other's; connecting them on two completely separate levels.
Derek breathed, a smile lifting his lips. "You look...beautiful."
Her eyes shone brighter and she returned his smile. "You don't look too bad yourself..."
The world around them came into focus again, pulling them from their bubble. He lovingly led her the last few steps to the altar. Cristina stepped forward to pull the small bouquet of purple and white flowers from Meredith's hands.
Derek smiled when he caught a whiff of lavender.
When her flower hand was free, Derek reached for it, and together they held heir hands between them, a mess of intertwined digits. Their officiator, a long time friend of Carol's, Tom, offered them each a supportive smile before he began.
"We are gathered here today, on this beautiful property that holds so many special memories, in front of the very closest of friends and family to celebrate the love between two very special people..."
Derek knew he should be paying attention to the words being spoken. He knew he should be hanging off each statement. He knew it was important. At his first wedding he had repeated each statement in his head in an effort to simply stay afloat during the ceremony. But Meredith had saved him so long ago that he was in no danger of sinking now.
His mind, all of his neural power, was focussed on her. Only her.
It's not the thrill of the chase. It's not a game. It's your tiny, ineffectual fists. And your hair...it smells good. And you're very, very bossy. It keeps me in line.
I'm still not going out with you.
You say that now...
"...And now we will listen to Derek and Meredith read their own vows to each other..."
Derek was pulled out of his trance not by the sound of his name, but at the sound of hers.
"...And it has been requested that Derek speak first. So, Derek, if you're ready."
Derek blinked, trying to remember if he knew why he was speaking first, trying to remember if there was a reason. He couldn't pull forth a memory, but that didn't mean it wasn't there. It was already taking huge amounts of strength to amalgamate his neural processes to form coherent thoughts, let alone with-call memories.
He nodded and dropped her hands to reach into his inner pocket for his notes, but half-way there he stopped and re-took her hands. He sincerely doubted he could read right now.
"Meredith," he began, pleasantly surprised to discover his power of speech was still in tact. "When I first sat down to write these words, I thought it would be easy. I love you so much, and I have never been as happy as you have made me since you first came into my life. There are so many things I want to tell you, to say to you, but I quickly realized nothing I could possibly say would do my feelings any justice." He reached a hand up to tenderly cup her cheek.
It's intense...
"I wish, even for just a moment, that you could see you the way I see you," he whispered. "Because the view from over here is amazing." Her eyes welled and her face gave in to his gentle touch, leaning against his hand. "You are amazing. I've hurt you and I've left you, but you are the strongest, most forgiving person I have ever met. You have saved me more than once. You have helped me to discover who I really am, what my dreams really are. You have supported me and given me balance. You've given me joy. You've made me understand what it is to be a partner. Just being with you has made me into a better person..." He swallowed hard, his emotions creeping up his throat and threatening to block it completely. Tears found their way to his eyes, but he did nothing to hold them back.
I can't be the reason you gave up your dream.
You're not. You're the reason I have a dream.
"I've wanted to be a lot of things in the past, but all I want now, Meredith, is to spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as you make me. Because you deserve the world. And I've never been so looking forward to the rest of my life before. I can't wait to go home and watch as our house is built. I want to start a family and build a home with you, Meredith. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and die in your arms when I'm a hundred and ten." He paused and inhaled a shaky breath, his eyes tearing at the sight of her moist ones.
I don't want to be separate from anything in your life...
"A long time ago I told you that I have there moments where I just know what's going to happen next. And most of the time they happen in the OR, but right now... Right now I know that you are the person I'm meant to be with. I know we're going to be happy. And I know I love you more than anything else in the world."
--
Meredith sniffed as his hand moved from her cheek to wipe the moisture from below her eyes when he finished saying all of those perfect things. He always did have a way of being so damned poetic when he wanted to. And that combined with his compelling, deep blue eyes had completely destroyed her resolution to not cry during the ceremony, or at least until she had finished speaking her vows.
"Meredith, are you ready?" Tom prompted quietly.
She nodded stiffly. "Yeah, I...yeah." She offered Derek a watery smile. "I'm kind of wishing I hadn't requested that you go first; that's kind of a hard act to follow."
The sea of guests laughed at her comment, putting Meredith somewhat more at ease. Something was pressed into the hand she was resting at her side. She closed her fingers and discovered Cristina had passed her the cue cards with her vows. Along with a Kleenex. She made good use of the Kleenex, but kept the cards wrapped in a tight fist as she reached for Derek's hands, needing some of his strength to say the things she needed to say.
"I wasn't raised in a world with happily ever afters and love and family. I was raised to believe only in science, to never depend on anyone, and to never, ever let anyone in." She blinked as a new wave of tears flooded her eyes. "But being with you has shown me time and time again that I was raised wrong. Because, Derek, I love you. And I believe in us. I believe that you love me and that I can depend on you, just as you can depend on me. And letting you in was the best decision I have ever made."
And I would tell my mother it's not a mistake.
"You said that I've saved you, but you have, quite literally, saved me. You've breathed for me when necessary, and you've breathed with me when I've needed help. And you've always been there for me when I needed you the most."
I'll come. I'll be your wingman.
She swallowed hard, tears freely streaming down her cheeks. "Almost two years ago I was all alone and you butted into my life. And you refused to be pushed out, no matter how hard I tried or how many lines I drew."
I'm drawing a line. The line is drawn. There's a big...line.
So this line...is it imaginary, or do I need to get you a marker?
"And you broke through so many walls I thought were impenetrable to the world. Derek, you've pushed me to do so many things I would have missed out on. I mean, look at us now... I was never the girl who dreamed of getting married, but you have proved to me just how wrong so many of my perceptions were."
I'm just a guy in a bar.
"There is more to life than career. And I want that with you. I want to marry you, Derek Shepherd, and spend the rest of my life with you. And I want work to come second. Because you are not just a guy; you are the guy. And I love you Derek. You were the first person I ever said that to and you have made me believe that we can be happy, that I am capable of something resembling a happily ever after. You have made my life so much better...so extraordinary. And because I went second," she started, forcing her tears to stay for just a moment. She had been preparing for this all week. He had beaten her far too many times lately. And she was going to win now. "I get the last word, so Derek Shepherd, I love you more."
He laughed through his tears at her final words and gently shook his head. "You never give up, do you?" He whispered.
She smirked. "Nope, and I'm always right."
"Not yet."
"But so close." Meredith breathed sharply, realizing this was the last time they would banter this particular topic. She returned her unused cards to Cristina, having only strayed a little, and proud to have kept her rambling to a moderate amount.
"Can we have the rings, please?" Tom asked.
With only a small push in the right direction from his Uncle Mark, Spencer stepped forward with the small bag holding the rings, a huge grin plastered across his face at his ever important task.
Meredith smiled as Derek's ring was passed into her safe keeping; and his into hers.
"Derek, do you take Meredith to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"
Meredith felt her breath catch as his face melted into the McDreamy smile that made her knees weak. "I do," he said, his voice soft and reverent. There were no hints of hesitation. She felt her heart swell and pound against her chest wall as he reached for her hand and tenderly slid the wedding ring onto her finger, right next to her engagement ring, without breaking eye contact. He squeezed her hand before releasing it.
"And Meredith, do you take Derek to be you lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"
She swallowed hard and nodded. Derek's eyes were holding hers hostage again. "I do," she whispered. I really, really freaking do! Her hands were shaking as she grasped his left hand and slowly slid the simple, platinum band onto his finger. And when she was finished she couldn't bring herself to let go of his hand. Gripping tightly, in anticipation for what was about to come, she realized that she wasn't the only one with trembling hands. He was a world class neurosurgeon; one of the best in the country. He operated on extremely delicate nervous tissue, requiring precision work that only a handful of people were capable of. He had to have steady hands. And yet, here he was, with shaky hands, clutching to her without any surgical motor control. He wasn't a surgeon right now. Work came second for them.
"Then, by the power invested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife."
For a moment, Meredith swore she didn't breathe. Her heart didn't beat. Her entire body stopped. For just a moment she was frozen, caught in the rip tide, before a wave of warmth and happiness and relief washed over her, almost knocking her off her feet. This was it. They had done it. They had gotten married.
They were married.
He was her husband.
She swallowed hard. She was his wife.
"Wow..." she whispered. He smiled warmly back at her, his eyes sparkling like she had never seen before.
"You can kiss your bride," Tom added.
Derek didn't waste any time in stepping forward, his fingers reaching for her waist like they had so many times before. But this time was so very different. She ran her hands up his chest; one clutching around his shoulder and one burying itself in his hair. His hands found the small of her back and he supported her as he pressed closer, dipping her back. Her lips were curled upwards, almost in a smile, when his crashed down onto them. And she lost herself in the rip tide again as wave after wave after wave of happiness and joy and Derek washed over her. It was their first kiss as husband and wife.
--
When Derek finally came up for air, he pressed his forehead against hers, shuddering as he struggled to regain some semblance of control over his body. "I love you so much," he whispered.
"I love you more."
He groaned.
"And I'm always right now, so you can't argue."
He laughed and stood upright, bringing his wife up with him, not willing to allow any space to accumulate between them. He pressed his lips against her forehead and her cheeks and her lips again. "I have never been so happy as I am right now," he admitted.
"Me neither," she agreed as she hooked her wrist through the crook of his elbow and let him lead her back up the aisle she had walked down alone only a half hour before. She wasn't alone anymore.
--
With a raised eyebrow and a smirk, Mark held out both elbows to the Maid of Honour and the Bridesmaid. "Ladies."
Izzy rolled her eyes, but silently took an offered elbow. Cristina mumbled something colourful under breath before doing the same.
"What a promising day; I'm finding myself so full of hope and expectation."
Izzy raised an eyebrow at his words, surprise etched across her face. "Actually admitting to be affected by the ceremony, Dr. Sloan?" She asked, tear tracks staining her cheeks. She had definitely been affected.
Mark turned to her with a characteristic McSteamy grin. "Nope, just liking my odds here...two beautiful women in the bridal party...and me..."
Izzy scoffed and pulled her arm away, quickly followed by Cristina. They were half-way down the aisle, so Izzy hooked her arm through Cristina's and powered down the last few steps, leaving Mark to walk with the kids.
AN: Okay, so I have failed miserably in my valiant attempt to keep the entire wedding day in one chapter. I wanted to have the wedding and the reception together, but for one things, hello freaking long chapter that would put the others to shame (and I'm certain there is a chapter length limit out there) and the second thing, I kind of think the wedding itself needs to be separate. This allows me to take my time and not worry about the length of the reception.
I'd also like to seriously thank everyone who commented about Meredith walking down the aisle. I seriously considered George, Alex and both, but in the end, I went with my gut. Because I really do believe she would walk by herself. She got this far by herself, she wouldn't need someone to lead her the last few feet to the rest of her life. (Symbolism and whatnot...lol).
Thanks for reading!