A/N: You'll be kind of mad/happy to know that I have a lot of this story written, I just needed to write one part to put in between and I hit a writer's block. But I was answering reviews and :shrugs: I was just feelin the vibe, I guess.

Yes, that is the only reason I haven't updated this story. That and the fact that I've been working on Mars: An Elseworlds Story.

No I will not give you my home address so you can kill meh in mah sleep. XD

HERE IT IS PEOPLES!!

()

The halls of Mount Olympus were buzzing with energy as Gods from all over appeared in the room, their voices getting louder and louder. Some with rage, others with amusement, some just plain confused.

Zeus listened to it all, having decided that the quickest way to calm them down was to rant and rave for a few minutes.

"MATED?! TO THAT THING?!"

"WE GAVE THEM A VACATION AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS!"

"OH DON'T LOOK AT ME! I WASN'T THE ONE WHO WANTED TO GIVE THEM THE STUPID TIME OFF IN THE FIRST PLACE! ATHENA WAS ALL 'EEEHHH THEY LOOK TIRED! GIVE'M A BREAK ARES! SO I DID!"

"DON'T EVEN GO THERE ARES! YOU WERE RUNNING THEM RAGID! WITH YOUR WARS AND CRIME AND--"

"LOVE IS NOT MY JURISTICTION OH 'WISE' ONE! TALK TO APHRODITE!"

"YEAH BECAUSE I'D SO TOTALLY HOOK UP THE GROUCHY BAT AND THE GRINCH-LOOKING THING! AS IF! I WAS TRYING TO PAIR HIM UP WITH THE PRINCESS!"

"UGH! IT'S LIKE WITHOUT CRIME THEY GO COMPLETELY BONKERS!"

"HE ALMOST DIED!"

Whoever shouted that was going to get an lightning bolt shoved right UP their ass, Zeus growled mentally, as the voices increased in volume. He'd already known that little fact, and there was a REASON he was keeping it to himself!

"DIED?! THE MARTIAN ALMOST KILLED HIM?!"

"APHRODITE YOU BREAK THEM UP RIGHT NOW!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME IT WASNT ME!"

"LOVE IS YOUR JURISTICTION! THEY'RE MATED! THEREFORE, YOU DID IT!"

"EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP!!" Hera screeched, causing all the lower gods to cover their ears in protest.

Silence, but it wouldn't last for long, not with the way the Gods were glaring at each other accusingly. Zeus stared at the chaos and wondered how in the hell he was supposed to explain this. Everyone was going to start asking him for answers; answers that he didn't have.

They had decided to give the Justice Leaguers a break from the crime and war. They couldn't stop it altogether, doing so would put the balance in danger, but they could stop anything really major from happening.

For a little while anyway.

And they had decided to give them a break from having Gods meddling in their lives. That way both the Leaguers and the Gods themselves could relax.

A week had gone and passed.

And needless to say, THINGS had happened while they were away.

Lots and lots of things.

Such as the fact that Batman and J'onn were now MATED.

Batman was Bruce Wayne.

Bruce Wayne was human.

How in the hell did he get mated to a Martian?!

The entire thing just screamed impossible at Zeus. And he was very close to admitting this to the others, when someone suddenly appeared in the middle of the room.

Make that three someones.

Upon seeing C'ridyall, H'ronmeer and L'Zoril everyone fell deadly quiet. Finally, Ares let out a rude snort. "So it's YOUR fault everything's gone to hell and back."

C'ridyall had the decency to blush, but H'ronmeer? He just rolled his eyes. That got him a thwak upside the head from L'Zoril, who shot him a look that clearly meant 'let me do the talking'. Clearing his throat, L'Zoril began to explain.

And as he opened his mouth, C'ridyall relaxed. If anyone could get them out of this mess, it was him.

"J'onn went into heat and molested Batman. They had sex. As a result of the sex, they became mates. The heat put too much strain on Batman's body, he almost died. We saved him. Now his senses have evolved and unless he gets a grip on it, he'll probably die. Again. It was all H'ronmeer's idea and/or fault, C'ridyall went along with it, they dragged me into it, and now I'm going back to the dream realm. Bye."

With that, he dissappeared, leaving C'ridyall and H'ronmeer gawking at him. How could he just throw them to the sharks like that?!

H'ronmeer looked at the other gods, who were giving them one HELL of a glare...and gave them a sheepish smile. "Uh...oops?"

Several of them took in a deep breath right then and there, but before another screaming match could start up, Hermes appeared, his normally wide and carefree eyes wild with some weird emotion...

"For the last time Hermes," Athena exclaimed in an exasperated sort of tone, "you can't race the Flash!"

The young god let a pout cross his features. "Why not?! I could pretend to me some sort of mortal or--" He shook his head. "Wait what am I saying? I don't care about that right now!"

Immediately that got their attention. When did Hermes not care about racing The Flash?

And then the emotion showing in his eyes finally registered and it made them all uneasy.

Fear.

Hermes was afraid. But of what?

But then he spoke, solving the mystery. "He's back!"

Zeus felt himself grow cold. "You're certain?" But the question went unanswered; he knew Hermes enough to know that this was not one of his pranks. One didn't joke about His return. Turning towards the two Martian Gods, he snapped, "We'll continue this later."

They waisted no time teleporting away from there, happy to be out of the line of fire.

H'ronmeer growled when they reappeared outside. "I'm going to kill L'Zoril for doing that!"

C'ridyall was in agreement with him on that but...she couldn't help but wonder...

Who was back?

Why had they left in the first place?

And why was their return causing such commotion?

()

Cookies to anyone who can guess who's back. Hell I'll name my first born after ya!

I'm telling the truth, honest!

o.o And that's terrible.