Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

In Six Months I Lost My Mind But Found My Heart

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Lovesick

May 13th

1 Month 3 Weeks & 1 Day Left

Edward's POV

Since the day Bella said it was over between us I haven't been able to eat, sleep, think, talk or enjoy anything. I've become this hollow zombie that just walks around, listening but not really hearing. I'm one lovesick fool. Alice noticed the biggest change in me but I knew she wasn't saying anything to alert our parents.

I was trying to get over her but I knew it was a hopeless cause since I didn't want to get over her. I just wanted her.

We had managed to see very little of each other and stayed away from one another. It hurt too much to see her and know I couldn't have her, that she didn't want me. Alice spent all her time with Bella which left Jasper and me to hang out a lot. According to Jasper, who was told by Alice, Bella wasn't as happy as she seemed.

That gave me a small glimmer of hope that she may still miss me like I miss her. I only hope.

Somehow Alice managed highjack Bella and I, who knows how she did it but she did. Then she walked us through the gardens, towards the conservatory. Bella didn't seem very impressed that she was near me and was avoiding eye contact at all costs.

"So I wanted to talk to both of you, together." Alice said, practically skipping along the path. "Things can't continue like this much longer."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Alice." Bella said, trying to move away from her.

"Now Bella, Edward, I know you two are having some kind of lovers tiff but everything will be fixed shortly." Both Bella and I shot her a quizzical look as Alice dragged us through the conservatory with our arms entwined with hers.

Before I knew what happened something cold and hard clasped around my right wrist and snapped shut encircling it. I looked down to see my wrist in a handcuff, attached to Bella's left wrist.

"Alice what the hell are you doing?!" I asked as she dashed away, leaving us standing there, cuffed to one another, looking completely confused.

The conservatory doors shut and locked then Alice took a lipstick out her pocket and drew on the glass doors. The message said: 'It's for your own good. See you in 24 hours.' Both Bella and I were fuming; this was not where we wanted to be.

I walked over to the door, bringing Bella with me, and tried the handle although Alice locked the door. It was worth a shot even though the door didn't open.

"Well now what do we do?" Bella asked as she leant against the wall.

"I have no idea." I muttered looking around. There really is nothing to do in here.

Bella started walking towards the main room in the conservatory and sat down on the chairs provided. We both sat there in silence. I want to talk to her, to understand what's going on between us, or not as the case may be.

"Bella?" I asked softly. She gazed up at me and I was lost in her deep brown eyes. "Talk to me, please. I need to know what went wrong."

"Went wrong where?"

"Between us."

"That's the problem Edward, there can't be an us."

"Yes there can. I'll make it happen." She sighed and looked pitifully at me.

"I don't want you to make it happen. I don't want there to be an us anymore."

"Why? What did I do?" I asked desperately. I was not willing to lose her without trying.

"You didn't do anything. It's the lifestyle you lead. Edward we knew this was going to happen eventually. Whether it happens now or in a month it still has to happen. We have to end this, it'll never work out. You're getting married for god's sake!"

"Who am I marrying?" Now I was lost.

"Your fiancée obviously." I continued to frown and look at her like she was mad. As far as I knew I did not have a fiancée.

"Who is my fiancée?" I questioned bemused.

"Tanya."

"What? No I'm not engaged to her." I said shaking my head.

"I saw you propose to her."

"No." Slowly I repeatedly shook my head. "I didn't propose to her. We worked something out and the wedding is just about off. Our parents are working out the finer details about what's going to happen."

"But…you had an engagement ring when you were speaking to her." She said frowning.

"Yeah because I was meant to propose to her, not that I was going to."

"I just assumed that-"

"Well there's the problem, you assumed. When you assume you make an ass out of you and me." I said smiling softly.

"But that doesn't solve everything. Whether you are engaged or not, it doesn't matter. We live three hours apart in different cities and come from complete different lifestyles-"

"Can you have some faith in us, please?" I cut her off. "Bella I am crazy about you and yes we will have to face some problems but I want to be with you, no matter what. I've never felt this way before and I don't want to lose you."

"I'm not yours to lose." She whispered before wrapping her free hand round herself. I sighed loudly and slumped back in my chair, feeling slightly defeated.

We sat there for several hours, in silence. Bella managed to find a book to read as I sat watching her. The night grew on and it started to get darker outside and colder inside. I'm not sure my sister really thought this through very well. For starters there is nothing to eat in here, second it doesn't have heating as it's a conservatory and the sun supplies its heat, and thirdly what did she think we were going to be doing? Making up, I don't think so.

Bella's POV

This was so awful, and worst of all Edward spent the whole time watching me. I wasn't really reading the book but I needed something to take my mind off the ache in my chest that started when I told him that I didn't want there to be an us.

Eventually Edward broke the silence.

"Okay Bella this is probably really inappropriate but I need to go to the bathroom." He said grimacing.

"You've got to be kidding me?!" I asked exasperatedly, how was that even going to be possible with us handcuffed together?

"Nope, I'm deadly serious. I've been holding since we were shut in here. I really did not think my sister would keep us in here all night. Anyway, I need to go pronto."

"Well how the hell do you intend to do that, we are attached. There is no way I'm going to the bathroom with you!"

"We don't exactly have a choice and believe me when I say I would never want you to go to the bathroom with me."

"Please tell me that you just need to pee?" I grimaced at how atrocious this was. Alice was so dead.

"Yes, thank god."

"Well where's the bathroom? I can turn the other way or something." I grimaced at the horrible ordeal I was about to face.

"Try not to look so put out; I'm not enjoying the prospect of you standing two feet from me while I take a leak. There is a bathroom down this way." Edward walked off, pulling me along with him.

This was so awkward. Not only was I not meant to be talking to him but I was not meant to be assisting him to the bathroom, though I'm sure he doesn't need assistance. Well I bloody hope not. The bathroom was pitch black when we entered so Edward switched the lights on and looked at me apprehensively.

"How do you want to do this?" He asked softly.

"I don't know Edward, you're the one peeing not me." He sighed and ran his free hand through his hair.

"Fine." He pulled us over to the toilet and looked awkwardly at me. "If you face the other way then that should be alright." He looked a little embarrassed, good because my cheeks were practically bright red. This was so bad.

I heard him fumbling with his belt as I faced the sinks and mirror, looking at my reflection. He swore under his breath and sighed loudly before practically groaning my name.

"What is it?"

"I need to use my second hand, the one cuffed to you." He said exasperated.

"Why?" I enquired, there was no way he was going to use that hand. If he did then it would mean my hand was practically millimetres away from there and right now that was something I was definitely not comfortable with.

"I can't undo my belt, or pants. It'll take two seconds, I promise."

"Fine." I sighed and felt him move his cuffed hand along with mine.

I was still facing away from him and couldn't see where my hand was, not that I wanted to, but I could feel the cool metal of his belt buckle and the rough of his denim jeans below my knuckles. I knew exactly where my hand was without looking.

Edward was trying very quickly to get his belt undone but he had more trouble with his zipper. It wasn't the zipper himself that was the problem, it was my hand. I tried to keep it as far away from him as possible but every so often it would brush against him groin and I just wanted to die. Eventually he shoved our hands back round behind his back after undoing his pants.

"Please do not tell me you need any more help?" I prayed to god he didn't.

"No, I can manage." He practically growled.

The eerie silence was awful. This whole situation was awful. Edward pounded his fist against the wall and sighed loudly again.

"What's wrong?!" I asked, sounding as aggravated as he probably was.

"Turn on the taps." He growled again.

"What? Are you serious?" I said trying not to laugh at him having stage fright about this.

"Yes. I do not want the only noise in here to be me peeing, especially not with you." I did as I was asked and turned on the taps.

It worked and all I could here was the gushing water flowing freely down the drain before Edward flushed the toilet, coughed and said he was done. He turned to face me and scared me half to death when his trousers were still undone, revealing his black boxers below.

"Sorry." He murmured. "I wanted to wash my hand first."

"No that's fine." He moved us over and washed his hand thoroughly. Then dried it with a towel lying on the countertop. He tried to do his pants back up but unsuccessfully and I was getting impatient with him so just decided to do it for him so we could get out of here.

He seemed as shock as I was when I realised that I had just pushed against his crotch, pulled his zipper up and fumbled to do the buttons before fixing his belt. I looked up to see his reaction to what I did and noticed he had his eyes clasped shuck and looked like he was in pain.

"Edward?" I whispered, scared that he might startle.

"Mmmm-hmmm"

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" My voice wavered but he didn't seem to notice. When he opened his eyes the topaz colour I was so used to seeing was now pitch black.

"No you didn't hurt me." He took a deep breath then his eyes calmed slightly, returning to normal before we left the bathroom and headed back out to the main sitting area.

It was late by this time and both of us were rather tired. I kept yawning and the dark circles under his eyes seemed to be getting darker from lack of sleep. Edward got us some cushions off of a few chairs and found some blankets.

"How do we sleep?" I asked as we both lay down on the marble floor with the two blankets over our legs.

"Em…good question." Edward looked at our arms then manoeuvred around a bit, changing the way he was lying before sitting up and moving my arm a bit. "If you lay down facing towards the window and put your cuffed hand in front of your body, away me, then I can put arm under or above your head and we should be able to sleep properly."

"Okay, let's try that." I didn't mind being that close to him since it's not like I actually had a choice thanks to Alice and her stupid hand cuffs.

Edward and I both lay down and I did exactly as he said. It was more comfortable for the both us if my head leant against his arm. Basically we were spooning but our arms were in a rather complicated manor. Edward's other arm came to rest on my waist, sending chills up my spine, as there was nowhere else for it to be.

"Goodnight Edward." I said softly.

"Goodnight Bella, sleep well." He kissed the back of my head gently before going to sleep.

Edward's POV

There was going to be no way I would get to sleep that night, Bella just smelt far too good and I was completely intoxicated by her.

It was impossible to be this close to her and not hold her properly or kiss her. This will be hard, in fact almost impossible, for me just to be around her. We can't exactly go back to being friends since we've come so far and I can honestly say I don't want to go back to being just friends. We were never very good friends anyway.

Her top had slowly ridden up and was showing a small amount of skin on her hip. Ever so slowly, so I didn't startle her, I caressed the skin. She was so soft and warm. My entire body was screaming for me to turn her over so I could kiss her but I don't think she would really appreciate that.

"God I love you Bella." I whispered. This was probably the only time I would ever tell her, she just happened to be unconscious.