Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Fable.
A crowd had gathered to watch the fight, yelling just like the testosterone-pumped, shirtless men in Bowerstone Quay.
Morphumax, the ridiculously dressed and apparently pregnant man was waiting for Maxiey at the top of the hill, carrying what appeared to be a giant meat cleaver on his back.
"NOW I SHALL DEFEAT YOU AND PROVE MYSELF WORTHIER OF FRAN FRAN'S LURVE! IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!" Morphumax yelled in true Yami Yugi style.
Raising his meat cleaver high over his head, Morphumax let out a high-pitched war cry and swung his weapon wildly with his eyes closed.
Whatever Maxiey was expecting the ridiculously dressed and apparently pregnant to do, it wasn't this (he was expecting something more bizarre). Maxiey dodged this way and that, light on his quick little hobbe feet, cheered on by the crazed mob.
"YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME!" Morphumax continued to scream, still hacking away blindly.
Before Maxiey could get a quick jab to Morphumax's knees, the only part he could reach, a glowing orange ball flew out of the blue, catching the ridiculously dressed and apparently pregnant right on the noggin.
"You killed my twin sister!" Dixie the Pixie shrieked, pulling at Morphumax's absurd haircut.
"OW OW! NO FAIR, YOU FIGHT DIRTY!"
Maxiey grunted.
Dixie the Pixie looked up. "He's not? Well he's close enough anyway."
Maxiey grunted.
Dixie the Pixie picked Morphumax up by his hair and dropped him in the river below the bridge with much relish.
Morphumax surfaced, spluttering. "YOU GOT MY FAVOURITE YET INCREDIBLY HIDEOUS SHIRT WET! I'M TELLING MOMMY. AND SHE'S IN BARGATE PRISON! I WANT MY WATERWINGS!"
Bawling, Maxiey's opponent tried and failed to climb out of the water and instead settled for sulking by the river's edge.
"Morphumax is fleeing," the drunken trader's ninth cousin seven times removed cried. "That means Maxiey has won! Three cheers for Maxiey! Hip hip -"
"Hooray!" exclaimed the crowd.
"I WANT MY WATERWINGS!"
"Hip hip -"
"Hooray!"
"WHERE ARE MY WATERWINGS?"
"Hip hip -"
"Hooray!"
"MOMMMY!" Morphumax shrieked, but no one was listening. Everyone was busy congratulating Maxiey on an amazing victory and insisting on buying him drinks.
Mr. Pooplewagon wanted a private word first.
"Maxiey, I hope that now you've proved your devotion to Fran Fran, you'll treat her well even though she might not be the sharpest tool in the shop. That girl lurves you so much there might as well be a giant heart over her head. Stupid people have feelings too. Can you do that, Maxiey?"
Maxiey grunted.
"Good."
Maxiey approached Fran Fran, as nervous as he was before the duel.
Maxiey grunted.
Fran Fran sniffled as the crowd "awwww"ed. "That's so sweet. You have such a way with words. I lurve you too!"