Chapter 3: First Taste

"How could they think that?" I was beginning to hyperventilate.

"I don't know, Bella." Edward was more worried about how I felt about all this than the situation itself. This angered me. "Charlie is leading the investigation. If he didn't hate me before, he does now." he tried to smile but it didn't lighten the mood.

"Edward, Charlie thinks you murdered me. Of course he hates you!" I was fuming, and it didn't help that my throat was itching so ferociously that I felt like I could kill a city full of people.

Edward, I'm so thirsty. I feel like my throat is on fire! Please help me, I pleaded.

"Bella and I are going for a walk." He winked at Alice and wrapped his arm around my waist, leading me out the door. Alice would understand what Edward meant.

When we were out of everyone's sight, Edward hastened his step. We were almost running by the time we reached the door. I held my breath. He was about to show me the outside of this strange building we were in. I knew we would be somewhere that rarely revealed the sun, and somewhere where no humans could be found. We couldn't be in Forks though. There was hardly ever any crime that occurred in that small town. Though this particular incident took place in Phoenix, it was connected to Forks. Edward was more at large there than anywhere else.

When he finally opened the door, I felt a cold breeze hit my face. My suspicions were correct. A thick layer of clouds covered the sky and I couldn't smell a single human scent. This angered me, which frightened me; this meant that the monster within me was growing stronger. But I was determined to be like Carlisle. I would not allow myself to kill humans. I was too attached to them.

I let a moan escape my lips. I ached to see my parents, and I wanted to tell everyone goodbye. It wasn't fair that I was taken away from them so abruptly. I wasn't meant for quick clean breaks like this. (HAHAHA if you read New Moon, this might be funny to you…)

I didn't even realize that Edward and I were running full "vampire" speed as my mind pondered. It felt very strange, knowing the fact that I would never be able to speak to Renee or Charlie ever again. Knowing that I would outlive them. I hated this whole situation. Was it worth being a vampire after all? All those embarrassing human qualities that I possessed were what Edward had fallen in love with.

Yes, I reassured myself. This means that you are always and forever his. This made me smile. How could I have doubted that this is what I wanted? I would have been more comfortable with the change if I was able to let go of my previous life. I still had some dangling strings that I wanted to take care of.

Edward? Do you love me? Honestly, even though I'm not the same Bella that you fell in love with?

"Bella, I will always love you. Even after death." The last part he threw in for humor, which eased the tension a little bit. "You are the same Bella I fell in love with. It wasn't your beautiful face, though that did help," his said as he threw in that crooked smile for my benefit. "I love you for you, Bella."

I finally noticed that we had stopped running. The funny thing was, I hadn't really noticed the difference. Only the blur of the scenery gave it away when we were dashing at full speed.

"Do you want to do this on your own, or do you want me to help?" He asked, and for a moment, I was confused at the question. When I forced myself to come back to reality, I finally understood what he was asking. We were going hunting; for bears. I was happy for the substitute, but I wasn't so pleased about how barbaric it all sounded.

I'm a vampire; I'm not supposed to be afraid of this…I suppose Edward better help me. I shyly looked into his eyes. Help.

He only nodded, most likely sensing how nervous I was. The pain in my throat was almost unbearable though. I felt like tearing it into shreds. Would that help subside the pain at all? I really doubted it.

"Use your senses, Bella. Where's the closest bear?" His face looked very serious again. I longed to see that crooked smile on it but instead I decided to focus on my task. I sniffed the air. A strong, painful reaction filled my nose and made my throat ache even more. It was coming from the East. I nodded in the right direction and he took off immediately, pulling me along with him.

It took very little time to find the poor creature at the incredible speed we were going. The animal's blood almost sang to me as my actions pressed me forward. It all happened so fast. Edward waited as I swiftly reached the helpless bear. It was like my limbs lost control. I was not aware of my motions; my body and its instincts were controlling me. I saw what Edward meant when he had said that it was dangerous when vampires were hunting.

The blood trickled from the bear's neck and I didn't even bother to savor it. I had drained the bear, but I was still hungry for more. I turned around to face Edward, hoping that he would let me try again. I wondered if it would be easier for me to control myself now that the edge of the pain in my throat was gone, as well as the dizziness. But he was gone.

I panicked as I turned around in circles, searching for him. He sneaked up behind me and scared me out of my mind. "Sorry, I was thirsty too," he said calmly, chuckling under his breath. "It's been a while since I last hunted."

I didn't laugh; I was still getting over the shock from when he startled me. "Edward, how many bears will it take for my thirst to go away?" My throat pains were getting rather annoying.

"It depends. For you, probably a couple more."

After maybe an hour, we were done hunting. Edward was done sooner, of course, but he was more experienced. When I got a little better, I would be able to finish a little quicker.

We decided to walk back slowly, which was my idea, seeing as how prone Edward was to speed, so we could spend more time together. The first several minutes were full of silence. I couldn't help but let my mind wander. "What are you thinking?" Edward asked finally. He certainly hadn't changed.

"I was thinking about Jacob, actually." The thought would have made me blush crimson if I was able to.

"Why? You hardly know the kid."

"First of all, I've known his family my whole life, basically. Secondly, I was thinking about how the people in Forks had reacted to my…death." My voice got quiter as the sentence progressed. "That led me to thinking about Billy and Jacob Black. Billy hates you and your family, and I can only imagine how furious the two are. You murdering me had left a huge impact on that small community. I guess you should have chosen a less complicated victim, Edward Cullen." I was surprised by how lightly I was taking everything. This information was enough to make someone depressed. But I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of the Blacks' anger.

Edward's face remained serious and I regretted ever trying to make a joke about any of this. How stupid could I be? Edward hated the fact that I was a vampire. I wasn't the same Bella anymore, and he was always obsessing over the fact that he was a monster and he never wanted me to be like that.

Tell me what's on your mind, Edward. I'm sorry I made that stupid joke.

"That's not what's bothering me, Bella. I think it's great that you can finally enjoy something out of this horrible life I brought you in."

"Is that what it is? Edward, you weren't the one who made me into a vampire. James was." My words sounded almost bitter. I hated seeing Edward taking the blame for everything.

"But I could have saved you."

"No! Can't you see? I was the one who abandoned you the way I did so I could save my mother. None of this was meant to happen, Edward. I'm here with you. Isn't that all that matters?"

"I didn't want you to be like me. I wanted none of this for you." Edward's face was full of guilt and displeasure. I wanted so badly to see that crooked smile light up his face, but it was hard to even imagine it on this newly formed face. It was like he was a whole different Edward. My transformation had changed not only me. What a mess.

"Hold on," He whispered quickly. I watched his expression flicker to repulsion and hate. This was the face of a murderer, and it terrified me completely.

He didn't even seem to realize my horror as he clutched my hand and ran at full speed, with me trailing behind him. When we slowed to a stop we were standing right before the entrance to the building where the rest of the Cullens were. Alice sprang from the inside at once, the same repulsion on her face.

What's going on now? I asked them both at the same time.

"The Volturi are on their way to pay us a visit," Edward answered angrily, still staring at Alice.