Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

In Six Months I Lost My Mind But Found My Heart

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Staying and Analysing

May 17th

1 Month 2 Weeks & 5 Days Left

Edward's POV

"Hi." My head shot up and I looked up to see Bella awake. "What happened to you?" Bella asked, running her hand over my arms as I sat on the chair next to her bed with my arms resting next to one of hers.

"Oh…it's nothing, someone just smashed my windscreen." I said not wanting to worry her.

"Whilst you were driving?" The frown and concern across her face made me unhappy. She should not be wasting her time worrying about me when she has to get better.

"Yeah." I answered nonchalantly.

"Edward I'm so sorry. I never meant for-" Suddenly she was in full swing for an apology, one I was not going to accept.

"Hey you didn't do this. You have nothing to be sorry for. Trust me, please. Anyway, how are you feeling?" I held her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Okay I guess. Still a little shook up but they've got me on pain medication so I'm not really feeling anything at the moment." Bella smiled reassuringly and looked at the blanket covering her legs. "What happened to the tape? That's all I can think about. If someone got a hold-"

"Shhh. It's okay. Jasper took the tape out of the room when we were searching for you. He didn't want it to continue recording and we might have needed it for evidence." Bella looked relieved as she smiled softly at me.

"Your parents are here." I said, trying to break the silence we were about to lapse into.

"Oh god, did they buy what we said?" Obviously, that was not the right thing to say as she started panicking again.

"Yeah they understood how clumsy you were and thought it sounded like something you would do." I gave her a smile and kissed the back of her hand. I just wanted to touch her and make sure she was okay.

"What's going to happen?" I could tell she was really asking about the exchange and whether or not she'll finish it.

"I think they are going to get your things from our house this afternoon and drive you back to Charlie's." Or so I had been told before her parents went to get something to eat with mine.

"But…I don't want to go." She said quietly. The look of her just slightly unhappy made my heart tighten for her. I really wanted to wrap her in my arms and never let go.

"I don't want you to go either." I said honestly, running my hands up and down her arm.

"Is there any way I can stay?"

"Well my parents have no problem with you staying. We just have to convince yours." She was looking straight at me thinking hard then gently smiled.

"I'll be staying with Charlie?" I nodded, her smile grew slightly. "And my mum?"

"Will be going back to your step-father once she's checked you are okay." That seemed to please her.

"I don't think we'll have any problem convincing Charlie to let me stay, as long as your sister doesn't mind helping me out a bit." She bit her lip nervously at that.

"I won't mind helping you at all Bella!" Alice chirped from the doorway. I didn't even know she was standing there and from the surprised look on Bella's face she didn't either. "We're friends, best friends in fact and as I'm female it will be much less awkward if I was to help you rather than your father."

"Help you with what?" I asked.

"Help me get in and out of the bath."

"You know I could always help you with that." She blushed bright red and smiled slightly.

"Don't tempt me." I smiled straight back thinking I was definitely making some ground here.

"Okay if you two are done flirting I can go and get your parents. They wanted to see you when you woke up." Bella blushed again and nodded.

"I'm glad you're okay." I whispered when we were alone.

"Me too." She smiled softly. "Thanks for getting to me in time."

"I didn't get to you in time. If I had you wouldn't be lying here." I was still pissed as hell that I hadn't made sure Bella was safe. She wouldn't have been hurt if it wasn't for me.

"Edward you did get there in time. I could have fought James off but not for long. If he had found me in that cupboard I would have just given up and he would have…well he would have-"

"You don't need to think about that now."

"But what if he tries it again? As long as I'm around and he hasn't had his way with me then I'll still be at risk." I kissed her cheek, soaking up the tears that were streaming down her face. I don't think she knew that she was crying.

"We don't need to worry about James anymore." I told her, remembering what I had been told earlier.

"Why? What happened? Did you hurt him?"

"Yes I hurt him, of course I did. When my parents took you to the hospital I went back to the dance studio where Alice and Emmett were. Emmett and I messed him about a bit for hurting you and Rose. Emmett's wanted to do that for a long time."

"Oh god please tell me you didn't kill him?! I couldn't have you being arrested for murder-" She said quickly, clutching at my shirt.

"No. No. We didn't kill him; we just beat him about then left."

"So what happened to your face and arms?"

"One of his friends turned up when I was leaving. They must have been called by him as the school was deserted when we were there. Obviously they saw me driving away and decided to take some revenge. But it's nothing."

"So James is still out there and his friends are after you all too?" That seemed to worry her more.

"No James is no longer around."

"Why? Edward what's going on?" She gently ran her hand down my cheek and looked at me with such care I just gave into her request.

"He was high when he attacked you that much we could tell from his pupils. He was found dead this morning by his parents. He took an overdose of drugs, completely irrelevant to what happened to him."

"So he's…dead?" I nodded and she pulled me into a hug, one I was surprised for. "I know I shouldn't be relieved that someone has just died but I was terrified he was going to hurt you or someone else."

"Don't worry Bella, I'm happy the bastards dead and Emmett's so happy he wants to throw a party." I told her as I hugged her comfortingly. Alice's loud voice could be heard just outside the door, she was giving us a heads up, so Bella and I separated and I moved away to give room for her parents.

Her mother rushed in the second the door was open and clasped Bella to her as she told her how much she was worried and hoped everything was okay. She also scolded Bella for being so clumsy and causing us any problems. My parents happily stood up for her and explained that it was no trouble, which Bella seemed grateful for.

My family left the room to give them some time together and I was about to follow before Bella caught my eye and mouthed 'stay, please'. I didn't want to leave her but looked apprehensively at her parents who caught the silent interaction between us. Her mother said it was okay for me to stay, if that's what Bella wanted, but Charlie didn't seem pleased, though he stayed silent.

I sat at the stood at the back of the room like a statue, not wanting to impose, but no matter how silent or still I was Charlie kept shooting me glares. Obviously he wasn't happy with me being present and I wouldn't have stayed if it wasn't for the pleading look Bella sent me. I can't deny her anything with that look.

He parents asked how she was and how she was finding the exchange. This accident gave them a chance to check in on her and see if she was enjoying herself. Then they brought up what'll happen next.

"Hopefully we can get you out of here today then collect your stuff and have you settled back home by dinner time." Renee declared.

"Collect my stuff?" Bella asked frowning.

"Yes your belongings from the Cullen's house. We're taking you home, back to Charlie's." Her father smiled slightly at that, yeah it's definite, he hates me.

"But why? I want to finish the exchange."

"Bella honey, you are in no fit state to stay and we couldn't ask the Cullens to look after you, that's our job."

"But how is this even going to work? We don't have a bedroom I can use downstairs." Bella pointed out. Her parents still seemed set on taking her though.

"Bells, I'll work something out and we'll get it sorted." Charlie said, patting her hand.

"Mum are you going to be staying with us?"

"No I'm going back to Phil; I just had to make sure you were okay." Renee said.

"Then who's going to help me?" This would be the decider.

"I will." Charlie said proudly, obviously missing some of the help Bella would require.

"No, I think you misunderstood me. Who will help me shower, wash etc? I can't do it by myself." Charlie paled at that thought.

"Oh we never thought of that." Renee said softly, deep in thought.

"If it's any help to you we would be very happy to have Bella stay and finish out the exchange. We have bedrooms downstairs she could use, so she wouldn't have to go up all those stairs, and my sister could help with the bathing predicament." I said straightening up as they both took me in. Charlie glared and seemed to puff out his chest in defiance to what I was saying. He opened his mouth to speak but Renee broke him off.

"Are you sure that would be no bother? Have you spoken to your parents?"

"It would be no bother at all and we would be happy to help since it was our stairs she fell down. Also my parents would be more than happy for Bella to say, you can speak to them if you like." Renee nodded and pulled Charlie out the room to see them, leaving Bella and I alone.

"Do you think they will go for it?" She asked nervously, biting her lip.

"Yep, they can be pretty persuasive." She almost brought me to my knees with her smile. I loved it and I wanted to spend every moment possible making her smile like that.

"Edward." I sat on the bed next to her and kissed her cheek. "Thank you for helping me stay."

"You're very welcome." To be honest I couldn't have let her leave. I would have done everything possible to convince her parents to let her stay. I was not ready to say goodbye to her yet.

Slowly I pulled her against me, into a hug, and kissed her hair. I never wanted to let her go and as selfish as that was I don't think I could survive without her.

June 5th

1 Month Left

Edward's POV

Once Bella was back home she spent about three weeks recuperating somewhat. Bella still had the cast on but the doctor thought it would be healed in five weeks instead of the normal six to eight, as it was such a clean break, surprisingly.

All of her things were moved downstairs to the spare bedroom set up there so that she could wouldn't have to go up all the stairs on those crutches, no doubt we would be back at the emergency room if she did.

I was hoping that, apart from the physical injuries and reminders, she would just be able to forget what happened. Though I wasn't to be so lucky, and neither was she. Every night since it happened she has had nightmares and woken up in distress.

The first night it happened I was just getting a glass of water from the kitchen and overheard her struggling and calling out. She was calling out my name and asking James to stop. I couldn't bear listening to it so rushed into her room and crawled into bed with her.

She woke up crying and upset so I did my best to calm her down and help her get back to sleep. The following night I lay outside her bedroom door waiting for the nightmares to start before doing what I did the previous night.

I've been doing that every night since then. It distresses me to know that even though he's never going to hurt her he still can in her dreams and there's nothing I can do about it.

In the three weeks since the accident Bella has been spending a lot of time with Alice and Rose. The only time we actually spend time together are at night and we don't speak, I just comfort her.

To distract myself from being around her so much I spent a lot of time with Emmett and Jasper. We all still felt very protective of the girls since two of James' friends were pissed about what happened. One, Laurent, didn't really want to kick up a fuss but the other, Victoria, was not happy and seemed to have a personal vendetta against us.

One thing we decided to do as a group was burn the tape. I watched it with Emmett and Jasper, the girls didn't want to watch it, and after seeing it, if James wasn't dead already we were going to kill him.

Not only did he bring up what he did to Rose he mentioned a few things about her and her body that had Emmett shaking with rage. Then he started on Alice, insisting she was being next, he wanted to know how bouncy she really was. Jasper was fuming and we were all thinking the same thing.

Then my precious Bella was brought under the microscope. He explained what he was going to do to her, how he was going to do it and what he'd be thinking about whilst doing it. I wanted to murder him, with a very slow and painful method, too bad the drugs did my job for me.

Jasper, Emmett and I set out one afternoon to one of the back fields and smashed it on the ground before spilling Vodka over it and lighting it with a match. It was sort of like a farewell to the sadistic twat, we knew we weren't going to have to deal with him again and that was exceedingly satisfying to know.

On this particular morning I took a jog round the grounds, it was something to take my mind off of my growing feelings for Bella. I've come to the conclusion that I'm crazy about her and one way or another she needs to know.

Alice joined me on the jog and said that we were going to have breakfast a little later today, more of like a brunch and that I should dress up a little. So when I returned to my room to shower I saw clothes placed out on my bed that Alice clearly picked out and wanted me to wear.

The brunch itself wasn't that bad, my parents were in a pleasant mood and Bella, Alice and I were having fine conversation. Not letting the unusual atmosphere between us affect our friendship in anyway.

One thing that perked up my brunch was Bella in a beautiful blue dress that was easy to put on over her cast, according to my sister who was giving fashion tips throughout the meal. The dress was casual but elegant and showed her beautiful smooth shoulders off from under her hair. Desire was running through me but it always seems to when she's around.

My parents retired early from brunch as my father had another engagement to attend to. Alice, Bella and I stayed in the dining room chatting for ages, in must have been a few hours at least, just catching up and discussing old times when we were at Bella's which felt like years ago.

Alice continued to hint about how cute we looked together and both of us avoided that topic like the plague, but I still had this undying need to tell her. Alice got up to leave us alone, hoping something would happen so I thought what the heck, why not.

"I wanted-"

"I think-" We both said at the same time, then smiled at each other.

"Sorry you go first." Bella said at the time I offered for her to speak first. We both smiled again and the air grew a little awkward as neither of us who to talk first.

"Oh for god's sake you two! Look Bella loves you Edward, and Bella, Edward loves you too. There, are you two finally going to get together before I murder each of you?!" Alice fumed from the end of the dining room with her hands on her hips.

I can't believe she just told Bella I loved her. What the hell was she thinking? Well if Bella wasn't worried about us being awkward before she certainly will be now. Sometimes I could kill that bloody pixie!

To gauge Bella's reaction to what Alice said I looked at her. She was blushing bright red and looking at her hands in her lap. Clearly she was embarrassed for me. I sighed and shook my head, covering my eyes with my hands. No doubt she's already found a reason to leave and never return.

Bella's POV

I looked at Edward when he sighed. He obviously was repulsed at the thought of me loving him. He kept shaking his head and covering his eyes. He also didn't want to look at me either by the seams of things. I always thought that he might not love me back but I certainly didn't know it would hurt this much to be rejected when we were getting on so well.

I just bet he thinks I'm some crazy gold digging stalker out to get him. I wouldn't be surprised if he avoids me at all costs and I don't see or speak to him until I have to leave. As for Alice, she's dead. I will personally string her up and kill her; it'll be catching her by surprise that will be the hard part though.

"Well aren't you two going to say something?" Alice hollered at us. Edward and I both looked at each other and opened our mouths but stammered with what to say.

"I…I have to go." He stood up and practically ran from the room. I knew he didn't love me.

"No Edward you get your ass back here now!" Alice grabbed his wrist just as he was leaving and started speaking in hush tones to him, which I couldn't hear. They seemed to be getting more aggravated with each other.

There was no way I was going to intrude on their argument but I felt guilty that this was happening because of me. Edward tired to get past Alice again but she held her hands over the door frame and raised her eyebrows as a sign to him to challenge her if he dare.

Of course he did dare.

Catching Alice and me completely off guard he picked up his pixie sister slung her over his shoulder and marched out the room with her kicking and protesting. Edward seemed totally unfazed by it. Due to all the commotion Esme came rushing out the kitchen.

"What an earth is going on? Edward put your sister down!" She demanded.

"Oh I will, just not here." He stormed out the house and marched down the garden path, Alice's screams of defiance only grew louder.

"I swear to god Edward I will destroy your precious car if you do what I think you're going to do. Don't even risk it mister! Now put me down!" He must have been ignoring her because he just kept walking.

Esme and I rushed; well I rushed as humanly possible on crutches, out of the house after them and followed behind going to see what was happening.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen this is completely unacceptable behaviour now put your sister down!" Esme called, striding to keep up with her fuming son and screeching daughter.

"No. This is punishment for interfering in other people's lives."

"Your father will hear about this and not be pleased Edward." His mother threatened.

"I wouldn't be surprised if dad could hear her screams from the office now. Alice, stop thumping me!"

"NO! PUT ME DOWN YOU MONSTER!!" She was screaming and increased her thumping and kicking causing Edward to wince a few times.

"Fine, I'll put you down." Edward called as he lobbed his sister off his shoulder and threw her small form in front of him. It wasn't until she hit the water with a splash that I realised we had basically walked the length of the grounds and were at the freezing cold river that ran through the estate.

Alice, of course, couldn't stop screaming about her new dress was ruined and how cold it was. Esme gave her son a glare before helping a weeping Alice out the water. I stood there completely mesmerised by the scene that just took place before me. Never in a million years would I have thought Edward would do that to his sister.

He turned round to go back to the house; eyes pitch black, and froze when he saw me. I wanted to say something to him but didn't know what. Instead he just shook his head again and raced past. Esme and I led Alice back to the house to change but not without hearing her curse her brother for being a twat and calling him various other names.

Within minutes of being back at the house Jasper was called to come and be the supporting boyfriend. Alice went to shower and get changed when he made his way there. The second he walked in the house Alice had jumped onto him, wrapping her arms round his neck, her legs round his waist and was snuggling her head in his chest.

"Oh Jasper it was horrible. He completely drenched me in the murky water and I was in there with all the fish and algae. It was truly terrible. Plus I'm small so any of those fish could have thought I was bait and gobbled me up." She cried whilst Jasper held her to him and patted her back reassuringly.

I never really understood their relationship before, he was so tall and quiet and she so small and loud but they worked perfectly together. He didn't need to talk to express his feelings for her; they just seemed to flow out of him.

Jasper continued to comfort Alice and made his way up the stairs with her around his waist like a small child clinging to their parent. He didn't seem to mind and was whispering calming things in her ear.

That left Esme and me both standing in the hall still a little dazed at all that had taken place. Esme, upon noticing the silence, brushed down her clothes and smiled apologetically at me.

"God what must you think of us? I am truly sorry about Edward's behaviour. Now that those two have time to calm down before I felt the need to medicate them would you care for something to eat with me?"

"Yes, thank you." I nodded and followed behind her to the kitchen. She indicated for me to sit at the kitchen counter then began to prepare some food for us. I never really thought Esme would be very hands on in the kitchen but she looked completely at home, like this was exactly what she enjoyed doing, looking after others.

Esme joined me at the counter after making a selection of different food options. She said she didn't quite know what I would like since we eat quite recently so made me a wide variety of things to pick at. For someone who doesn't spend a lot of time in the kitchen, according to Edward, she sure as hell can cook.

"So tell me Bella, how are things with you? I know it can't be easy staying with us, we do live quite a surreal life sometimes."

"It's…different to be honest with you. I didn't expect this to be easy, coming here, but the only obstacles I've met are with other students at school." I glanced down at my casted leg, which Esme caught.

"How are you coping with all of that?" She asked, referring to the James situation. For some reason I felt relaxed around her, as though I could tell her things I wouldn't dream of telling my parents.

"I guess you could say I'm doing alright. There are sometimes a few nightmares but Edward has always been there to comfort me when I woke up afterwards."

"Yes he did mention something about that. If you don't mind me asking, Bella, what are your feelings towards my son?" Obviously she didn't want to pry but was curios enough to ask.

"I…we're friends…I think." Who knows what we were at the moment?

"Just friends?" I blushed a little at past memories between me and Edward.

"We were dating but that fell apart." I smiled softly at the work top, trying to push back the feeling of regret when I think about ending the relationship.

"I know I shouldn't ask but I think you and Edward, even though it's none of my business, worked very well as a couple. I've never seen him happier, but the question is, were you happy?"

"Very." Not like it matters now, he's totally repulsed by me. "At the time he was possibly going to marry Tanya and I felt like I was holding his life back." I admitted.

"Edward always thought that he was meant to get married to a bride of his our choice and he would just follow through with the expectations his title has set for him. When he arrived back her, after spending three months with you on the exchange, he had changed, he was happy for once. Then we realised there was a relationship between you two and everything seemed to fall into place."

"Do you think he still…" I paused, biting my lip apprehensively, not sure whether I should ask or not. Perhaps I wouldn't get the answer I was hoping for.

"Go on, please." Esme said softly.

"Do you think he could forgive me?"

"Forgive you for what?"

"For ending the best relationship, the only relationship, I've ever had because I was scared." I couldn't look at her and was intently inspecting my arms folded in my lap.

"I'm sure he would but you would need to speak to Edward yourself. Will you do that?"

"I think I will have to. If I don't then I'm sure I'll regret it later on in life." Without hesitation Esme stood up and hugged me softly.

"Just do what you feel is right. Either way it doesn't matter. You are still friends with Alice and if nothing comes from you and Edward then it doesn't matter, we'll still be here for you. For some reason I feel like you've become a part of our family now."

"Thank you Esme." I said quietly as I smiled and then made my way through the house to my new ground floor bedroom.

When I hobbled into the room, knocking the door shut behind me, I was faced with Edward standing at the base of my bed looking slightly nervous.

"We need to talk Bella." He told me.

"Yes we certainly do." I agreed.

We were bound to be here a while.