Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Fable.
Maxiey grunted.
The chicken farmer answered first. "This chicken suit is made out of real feathers, you know. I plucked every single one of these from my own chickens."
"That doesn't answer the question, birdbrains," the guard, Bobbers, sneered as though his game script only allowed such woeful insults. "I've got loads of skills that would make me a good tavern worker. I'm responsible and I know how to fine people and attack them if they don't pay rather than arrest them. Not to mention a pompous, arrogant attitude."
"Krunk should get job because Krunk has big muscles. Bigger muscles than anybody," said who else but Krunk the Nimrod.
The twitchy schoolteacher responded in his usual manner. "I'VE GOT MAD SKILLS! AND I WILL USE MY MAD SKILLS TO OWN ALL YOU NOOBS!"
Maxiey grunted.
"I was human ten years ago. But in a terrible accident involving a lit candle and combustible pixie dust, my chicken feather suit was melted and fused to my skin. Now I'm just a freakish half chicken, half human hybrid," the chicken farmer said sadly. "On the other hand, the feathers of my chickens were curiously magical and didn't burn. I guess that makes my chickens curiously invincible. Which is a good thing because morons keep kicking them all over the place for no reason."
"Well, I'm obviously very responsible and dedicated to my job. To get to this interview, I even got an anonymous stranger to cover for me because there were no available guards. The chap was dressed in dark clothes and had black eyes, if I remember clearly. He seemed like a nice lad. So after that, I am obviously the most qualified candidate."
"Krunk will prove his dedication by lifting the table!" And indeed Krunk lifted the table, neither impressing nor amusing anyone but himself.
"I CAN OWN ALL YOU NOOBS AT BEING DEDICATED TO MY JOB! I CAN OWN YOU NOOBS AT ANYTHING! AHA HA HA! I HAVE MAD SKILLS! BURN! COLD! DRY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS!"
Krunk who had just realized he had been insulted by the schoolteacher (the first time, not this time), roared with rage and picked up a chair, stepping on the chicken farmer's stuffed chicken feet in the process. There was a great squawk and a cloud of decade old chicken feathers. In the rather fluffy chaos, Krunk the Nimrod dropped the chair he was about to throw on his muscular toes. The twitchy schoolteacher screeched about noobs and hero dolls while the guard brandished a sword and waved it about, demanding order in a thickly accented voice. Maxiey dived for cover beneath the counter, a tactic that was not necessary considering the hobbe's height. The guard tackled the chicken farmer, who was pecking Krunk the Nimrod with his stuffed beak. All three tumbled to the ground. The farmer squirted free of the suit that had imprisoned him for so long.
"I am free!" He screamed gleefully, running away in nothing but his patriotic skivvies.
Once the feathers had settled, Maxiey decided to name the new employee to prevent any further damage and dusty-feather-caused allergies.
After a short, unhelpful discussion with Fran Fran, Maxiey named the twitchy schoolteacher the most suitable (or rather least destructive) replacement.
"HA! I POWNED ALL YOU NOOBS! BOW DOWN TO YOUR MASTER! BURN! COLD! DRY!" the wild-eyed schoolteacher shrieked, pulling at his hair. This was followed by a strange war cry that could have been a birdcall.
Bobbers escorted Krunk the Nimrod away from the premises for vandalism. Both were very disappointed.
Maxiey quickly showed the newest tavern worker around before letting him take over.
With that matter resolved, Maxiey the hobbe left for the Guild of Heroes, unsure of what horrible horrors lay inside.
A/N: Apologies for it taking so long, but adjusting to Grade 9 is harder than I thought…especially when you take Grade 10 math.