Chapter 12: Weakness
"Bella, it's alright," Alice assured me in a soothing voice. Her small hand moved up and down my arm.
"How did you…?" I wanted to ask how they were able to ignore my command, but I couldn't find the words to ask it. Edward seemed to understand.
"Bella, we weren't really following you at first. You told us not to follow you, and you were going to Port Angeles. We went to Forks instead to make sure your Charlie was safe. When Alice saw you…saw you leave Port Angeles, we almost had to leave, but it was as if your power just wore off…"
I gasped in horror. Alice had seen what I had done. She no doubt told Edward about it…maybe even all of them! The horror turned to shame and I cowered into a ball, attempting to hide my face.
Edward pulled me into his arms in one lithe movement, and with one finger, gently lifted my chin so he could look into my eyes. I closed them, knowing the red was most likely more evident.
"Bella, you don't need to be afraid. Victoria's dead, and so are the other newborns." My eyes remained closed.
No Edward. It's not her I was worried about. Didn't Alice tell you what I did? I'm a monster!
I opened my eyes in time to catch him frowning, and I pushed away from him, trying to control those embarrassing sobs that I could sense approaching. He wouldn't let me go, and he pulled me in closer, securing me with his arms.
"It's nothing to worry about; it's too easy to slip. You didn't let anyone be there to help you. Don't live in the past, Bella. It's over now, and nothing is coming to hurt you."
Oh Edward! But I'm so ashamed!
"Don't be. You're being ridiculous!" I could see his crooked smile playing graciously across his face. "When will you ever learn to accept yourself for the way you are?" He was still teasing, but I could feel a hint of seriousness in his tone.
Maybe I was being foolish. This was what I was now, so why not make the most of it? This was what I wanted all along, wasn't it? Embarrassment flooded through me as I realized how stupid I had been acting since I had become a vampire. I finally had what I wanted, and I was being completely ungrateful! Of course it was going to be hard! Edward had warned me about that. But I had ignored that and moped around, even after I had gotten what I had truly sought after all along!
I tried to give him the warmest smile I could give, and stood to my feet with his help. "You're right," I told him. "Forgive me for my foolishness."
"You're forgiven," he chuckled, showing me his lopsided smile.
"I still have questions," I started. "I still don't understand how you were able to ignore my command and all…"
Edward sighed and his face became mockingly serious. "Well, I had a theory, but I figured I should test it out before I told you what it was."
I eyed him warily, and he jumped into his "experiment".
"All you need to do is order me to do something."
I didn't know what I wanted him to do, so I made him do something hilarious. Jump up and down, rub your belly, and pat your head at the same time.
He smiled, and reluctantly began making a fool of himself. I could hear Alice giggling behind me.
"Tell me to stop so I can tell you my theory!"
But I don't want you to stop. I think I can wait.
He eyed me darkly and I laughed as I told him to stop.
"Well, okay, here's my theory." The laughing stopped and his voice picked up a serious tone. "What you did in Port Angeles…how did that make you feel?"
Who are you, Dr. Phil?
"I'm being serious, Bella. How did it make you feel?"
"Well, ashamed, sort of." Or a lot. "And kind of depressed, I guess." Sharing my feelings has always been uncomfortable for me.
"How long do you think that lasted?"
"Until you knocked some sense into me…"
"And you feel better now?"
"Yes…not panicked, that's for sure. And I feel happy, I guess."
"Ah…" was all he said.
"What?"
"It seems to be that when you are overstressed or over emotional, you are not in control of your power," he informed me matter-of-factly.
It took me a while before I could respond, and it all seemed so obvious. "Well that really sucks, doesn't it?" I teased. "I seem to be overemotional all the time!"
He laughed heartily and I allowed myself to laugh with him. It sounded hysteric, but it was better than what I felt about ten minutes ago.
"Did you see what Mike Newton wrote to you?"
"No, what did he want?"
"Oh, just a friendly little note that he felt he should share with you." I walked over to retrieve the note, never letting go of his hand.
"Is he the one that ruined our furniture?" I nodded to answer him. "How convenient. We've wanted to remodel, and it seems he has already helped us with the first step. Next time I see him I'll thank him."
He laughed again as he quickly read the note aloud, so Alice could listen to it too.
Edward suddenly stopped what he was doing, and shot a significant glance at Alice. She nodded and then he turned around to see me. I could feel him tensing.
"Stay here," he muttered, and he left, following Alice out the door.
I was freaking out. What could they possibly be doing? Victoria was dead, and no one could be here to hurt us. Maybe Mike was coming to fulfill his promise. I shuddered as I imagined what would happen if Mike saw me here.
I heard a shriek come from Alice, and I quickly ran to the door.
Edward was struggling on the ground, writhing in pain. I kneeled down next to him and tried to help him up. I looked up and saw Jane smiling evilly down on him.
"No!" I screamed. All around me, two or three members of the Volturi each were holding each of the Cullens down, and Edward was being tortured with his mind.
STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! I screamed in my head. None of them budged.