Ch.2 Rose is Rain

Ah, all of the title names in all my Utena fics are title names for the songs, btw…in case anyone was wondering. And, the question that's been haunting me, what to do with Nanami? I've been debating whether or not to have her show up in this chapter, and decided against it for some Jury angst instead. Yaaay…. And, for the record, shiori did join the fencing team, check out the last ep.

"Have you heard?"

"Heard what?"

"About Arisuguwa Jury!"

"What about her?"

"Well, you know that locket she keeps under her uniform? I've heard about whose picture's in it."

"Really? Who?"

"You won't believe it! I've heard…"

The rumors weren't what bothered me all that much in the end. Those kind of things were pretty irrelevant to me; just petty teenage drama. But that was the problem – just because it wasn't hurting me didn't mean it wasn't hurting someone else. The first day was alright; the rumors themselves seemed to be put to an end once I got to the source, most of the time freshman just wanting to get my attention or point fingers at someone else. "I don't care which one of you started this or why, but stop. Rumors affect academics. As a member of the student council I can't let you keep doing this, regardless of what they are."

What utter crap. "Regardless", indeed. I wasn't doing this to keep up the academic morale of Ohtori; it was mutilated beyond reason - I was acting purely on instinct. 'Shiori can't hear about this. She can't know.'

Shiori wasn't built up the same way I was; she'd bend and break and snap under the pressure. Then she'd blame me.

'It's not something that's her fault' I remember thinking after hunting down the rumor mongers one by one. 'She just cares too much what other people think about her. This isn't really all that big of a deal. Doesn't change anything.'

"…"

I've always been a liar, especially to myself. I was lying through my own teeth and eating it up like an idiot. It was a big deal. It did matter to me. I wanted Shiori to know how I felt without having to tell her myself. I couldn't tell her; the ground we were on as "friends" was still to thin for me to do anything like that.

"…."

'I want her to know. I want her to feel the same.'

I was still too much of a coward to act, though, and ran like a scared mouse from person to person snuffing the rumor out.

"Jury, I can't! I can't do this!"

At seven A.M., right before first period, Shiori's fencing foil was flung at my feet, rattling and clanging like some mythical beast. It rolled a whole three times before colliding with the toes of my shoes, a soft tap barely audible.

"You what?"

I only asked to try to get her to calm down; I knew what she was going to say and I knew what that meant for me and my worn-down expectations. It was over.

"I can't, I just can't! I quit the team! I don't want…don't call me anymore. Don't visit, don't look at me, don't even think about me!"

She was hysterical – yelling, crying, practically tearing her hair out in agony. I couldn't change her mind now, I could only cling on for the ride and hope to get through it. If I had any dignity left, that is. I considered myself a relatively changed person since Ruka, and wasn't about to just give up without at least trying.

"Shiori, are you talking about -?"

"The rumors, the rumors! Every day people are talking about me like this is something I want!"

A little piece of my resolve shattered.

"I don't know if this is something you started –"

Another piece destroyed.

"- But this needs to stop. I can't be like you; I can't be some emotionless husk and not care about what's going on around me!"

I might need to explain just what exactly had happened between Shiori and I since I gave up being a duelist and since I saw that first miracle up on the dueling arena so many months ago. A long story short, I talked to her.

No fits, no games, just talk. I asked her just what she was expecting to gain with the so-called "miracle" of the victor, and…things kind of went from there. We started to talk more, she joined the fencing club – for a while it seemed like we were back to how we used to be.

"Seemed" is the key word; any little thing was likely to set her off. According to Miki I was being used, and it wasn't really hard to see that might've been the case. I couldn't bring myself to sever from her again, so I bore down and took it. In my heart I was sincere but on the receiving end of her bitterness. We were both looking to fill a void with each other, and I thought that I had "grown" since quitting the duels. It was supposed to make me a better person. I don't regret trying to make amends with her – for her sake. Even if her renewed "friendship" was forced, maybe if I tried hard enough I could change how she saw our relationship. Maybe I could make her feel something more, maybe she would have the same feelings about me.

"I'm sorry Jury! I can't do this!"

"…."

In the end, the only thing "changed" about me was that I was no longer walking up a nine story tall staircase searching for some cheap miracle. Not literally anyway.

"Well…Jury-sempai, I don't really know what to say."

She was serving tea in measuring cups and a crazy straw cup. On one hand I was holding back a grin, on the other I was a little worried. Living alone in a one-bedroom apartment drinking out of plastic cups (and a measuring utensil) seemed a little, well, incredibly depressing. From what I understood, though, she and I had lived different lives up until then, so it's possible how she was living wasn't really that much of a bother to her.

'…I can't believe I'm drinking tea out of a chipped measuring cup…'

"Jury-sempai? Are you -?"

"Just Jury, please. We aren't in school; I'm not your sempai. It's uncomfortable to hear."

"Sorry."

I was waiting for her to start – it wasn't that I didn't know what I wanted to say, just how I was going to say it. My mind was running in images and memories, not words.

"I was just going to say that, well, I don't know what you want to know about what happened. Certainly not what I…not what I was expecting. I didn't really know what I was thinking, really, just not that."

"What did it feel like?"

Again, the look she gave me had me fighting back a grin. She hadn't changed too much.

"What did what -?"

"Riding in the elevator next to her for the last time. Seeing her for the last time. What even happened up there? Where is she now?"

Utena frowned and shook her head suddenly, as if brushing off my questions. "Jury-sempai, what makes you think that was the last time I saw her?"

"Where is she now, then?"

To get to the point – the fact that she attempted to brush me off with such ease aggravated me. I wasn't a spoiled princess like Nanami, but I was used to getting my way, at least to a certain extent. It's not like my retaliation was supposed to hurt her – it was just my way of getting back at her indifference towards me.

Little did I know it did hurt her.

The first time I saw them was the day I transferred out of Ohtori to go to the school my parents graduated from, which was a few miles away. I woke up, rolled over, and there they were, sitting right next to my face, gleaming in the sunlight. Needless to say it was more than a little disturbing. Did she put them there? If so, how in the world did she get into my room? I wasn't really thinking of that, though, the only reaction I could think to do was to smack them away from me, screaming bloody murder. I heard them hit the ground and scuttle somewhere on my floor before I threw my covers off and jumping out of my bed, shivering all over at the thought of those things being next to me.

"Eeeh, get them out get them out!" I was not overreacting by the way. Any sane person would've done the same thing. If they were any old pair of glasses it wouldn't have been so weird, but they weren't any old pair of glasses, they were hers, and it was beyond creepy. Why my room of all places?

"I'm not in the mood for this right now…I don't have time for – Oh my God where are they?"

After looking under my bed and in every other corner of my (boxed up) room, the creepy translucent glasses were nowhere to be found.

"I need to go to sleep. Need to sleep. Really need to sleep."

Yeah, I know, another short chapter. The Nanami thing seems a little rushed, but it's necessary. Truth be told, this whole thing is kind of ad-libbed. Btw, "Legend" is finished already, I just have to type it (I handwrote it like four months ago). Review or whatever, tell me what you think.